Hi All,

Thank you for the responses. They are very useful. I wish I could go through and address each of you individually however in the interest of time I will just provide a little more context to our situation.

1. When I told her that her behavior will lead to the end of our marriage it was the absolute truth. Her use of the silent treatment. Other issues like being bad with money (shopping with what little she has instead of saving. Currently not working due to waiting on permit), anger issues, etc. I truly believe that if she doesn't work on these things our marriage will deteriorate to nothing. Whether that ends in divorce, separation, or just an empty life together only God knows

2. Our issues have been consistent since the beginning. I knew she was not perfect when we married, but moving in together shows you a lot. And there are many things I am finding out now that are new to me. I know this is part of marriage, however it still can be hard to deal with in the beginning.

3. I feel like I am the only one that wants to work on our problems. I have to take the initiative EVERY TIME to reconcile after quarrels. Even when most of them are not my fault. On two occasions over the last year ive had to get her older sister and brother-in-law to intervene and speak to her.

Listen I know that marriage will have its ups and downs. I have no plans of divorce and am not seeking one. However when the same issues occur so consistently with only one partner taking responsibility 90% of the time it can become draining. I think counseling for her and for both of us will help. I am a man of faith so I will forever trust in God for his intervention so at the end of the day I am not that worried.

I chose to post this issue on this forum due to the anonymity, honesty and humor. I have spoken to many elders about her, priests, pastors, deacons, etc lol. Sometimes getting some random opinions online can be refreshing. Anyways thanks so much again for the feedback. God Bless

Hi All,

Not sure where to even start so I guess its best just to jump right in.

I have been married for a year or so now. My wife was born and raised in Nigeria (Lagos). We both are in our late 20s. I was born and raised in the Canada, but currently am in the US (Consider myself Nigerian-Canadian-American lol). Since our marriage ceremony I have found many issues with my wife. I am by no means perfect, however the majority of problems we have had over the last year have been numerous and all are instigated by her. At this very moment she is in the other room and we have not spoken for a few days now because of a quarrel. Due to her immaturity she uses the cold shoulder tactic. Every few weeks, like a cycle, a petty, needless argument will lead to my wife to not speak to me for 2, 3, 4 days. Some times even a week of not speaking or barely speaking to me (she did this right before Christmas!). When I say petty I mean really useless arguments over getting her hair braided, forgetting to do something in the kitchen, etc.

Anyways, this past week I made it known during our most recent argument about her behavior that this habit of shutting herself off for days at a time over nonsense matters was poisonous to our marriage and that it, along with other immature habits I won't name, will lead to the end of our marriage. In response she says, "Good! I want it to end. I want it to burn to the fucking ground!" As you can imagine I was hurt by this comment to say the least. I told her if thats the way she feels she can return to her father house.

I am seriously considering a separation. Maybe she should return home for some months? At this moment in time I have refused to eat the meals she prepares for 2 days now. She has begged for forgiveness and I have forgiven her, but the damage has already been done. Its hard to get past hearing that someone you have sacrificed so much for can say such a thing. Even if she is angry.

Anyways sha. I know that was some long reading, but I needed somewhere to vent. Is refusing her meals petty? How do I recover from hearing something so terrible especially when we have been having ongoing issues since the beginning. Any feedback is appreciated. And please feel free to tease me as well. I could use a laugh in this moment