see over 10 funny pictures that can make your head go gaga.

...............Don't miss it................

http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=583

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50,
they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like ....... http://.com/view_joke.php?id=569

oh my God
Warning! Explicit Content.
An old man was on the beach and walked up to a
beautiful girl in a bikini. "I want to feel your breasts," he
exclaimed.
"Get away from me, you crazy old man," she replied.
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty
dollars." He says.
"Twenty dollars? Are you nuts!? Get away from me!"
"I want to feel your breasts. I will give you ONE HUNDRED
DOLLARS," he says.
"NO! Get away from me."
"TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS," he says.
She pauses to think about it, but then comes to her
senses and says, "I said NO!"
"FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS if you let me feel your
breasts," he pleads.
She thinks............... http://www..com/
view_joke.php?id=559 continue

Miss World 2014 from Africa

London (AFP) - Miss South Africa, 22-year-old Rolene Strauss, was crowned Miss World 2014 at the contest's glitzy final in London on Sunday, with an estimated billion viewers watching on television around the globe. Miss Hungary, Edina Kulcsar, was judged the runner-up and Miss United States, Elizabeth Safrit, came third in the 64th annual competition, contested by women from 121 countries.

view more (6) pictures of Rolene Strauss pictures . .. . . . http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=543

Akpos the truant always loitering around his school
compound.
One day he was passing by the side of his school
Principal's window, he heard some voice inside and he
decided to peep. He saw his school Principal and his
form teacher doing KEREWA.
He couldn't bear it, he told them in a low voice "I CATCH
UNA RED HAND". Akpos also added that he will broadcast
it to the entire students. They both pleaded and pleaded
but Akpos refused. At a time Akpos said ok, una want
make i keep quiet? They anxiously said yes. In one
condition Akpos added. What condition the principal
asked?
Akpos after smiling and dressing his cloth said, am going
to flog 3 teachers 12 strokes of cane in the Assembly
ground next Monday. The principal said ok name them.
Akpos smiled more and replied,
1. My English teacher wey dey claim say na only her sabi
english.
2. Mrs Mba wey dey handle late comers.
3. That Idiot wey u dey enjoy so. she likes asking me to
darken the board every Friday.
The principal said no problem but..... Akpos shouted do
we have a deal? The principal without wasting time said
"YES".
The princiapl informed the listed teachers to get
themselves available for the beat but they all rejected.
He then threaten then and they all have no other option
than to accept.
On that monday............... http://.com/
view_joke.php?id=508 click to continue

monkey boy
Akpos goes off to Delta State University Abraka. Half way
through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all
his money. He calls his father at home. "Dad," he says,
"You won't believe what modern education is
developing! They actually have a program here in Delsu
that will teach our dog (monkey-boy), how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says . "How do I get Monkey-
boy into the program?" Akpos smiling said... "Just send
him down here with N20,000". "I'll get him into the
course dad." So, his father sends the dog and N20,000.
About two weeks to end the semester, the money again
runs out. Akpos calls home again. "So how's Monkey-boy
(the dog name is monkey-boy) doing son?" his father
asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says,
"but you just won't believe this - they've had such good
results they have started to teach the animals how to
read!" "Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we
get monkey-boy in that program?" Akpos smiling said
"Just send N50,000, I'll get him into the class." The
money promptly arrives. But Akpos then had a problem.
At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can
neither talk, nor read. So he killed the dog. When he
arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all
excited. "Where's monkey-boy? ............ http://
www..com/view_joke.php?id=500 continue

BH

Abeg I get joke for una.

Akpos goes off to Delta State University Abraka. Half way
through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all
his money. He calls his father at home. "Dad," he says,
"You won't believe what modern education is
developing! They actually have a program here in Delsu
that will teach our dog (monkey-boy), how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says . "How do I get Monkey-
boy into the program?" Akpos smiling said... "Just send
him down here with N20,000". "I'll get him into the
course dad." So, his father sends the dog and N20,000.
About two weeks to end the semester, the money again
runs out. Akpos calls home again. "So how's Monkey-boy
(the dog name is monkey-boy) doing son?" his father
asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says,
"but you just won't believe this - they've had such good
results they have started to teach the animals how to
read!" "Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we
get monkey-boy in that program?" Akpos smiling said
"Just send N50,000, I'll get him into the class." The
money promptly arrives. But Akpos then had a problem.
At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can
neither talk, nor read. So he killed the dog. When he
arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all
excited. "Where's monkey-boy? ............ http://
www..com/view_joke.php?id=500 continue

Girl: Honey, there's something I want us to talk
about. It's
so serious!
Boy: Please don't tell me you are
pregnant!
Girl: Am coming to stay with you because you know
my
mum will be mad at me and will not allow me to
stay with
her once she finds
out am pregnant *sobs*!
Boy: Listen, I don't want to know. I always gave you
the
money to buy E-pills.
Girl: But it can happen by accident! *sobs*
Boy: Accident my foot! Listen and listen well eh! I
don't
want to see your face in this house. Let me not see
you
come here!
Girl: OMG!................ http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=497 click to continue

Akpos be correct doctor

Doctor Akpos opened a new clinic. He wrote on it; Any treatment is 10,000 Naira, and if I cannot treat you, I will pay you 20,000 Naira. A man wanting the 20,000 Naira for himself, went to Akpos; Doctor, I can’t feel any taste. I lost my sense of taste. Akpos then ask one of his nurses to give him a few drops of medicine from box 22. Upon taking the drops, the man shouted; It is urine o o o! Doctor Akpos said; Congratulations, your sense of taste is back. The man was very angry that he lost his 10,000 Naira. He came back two weeks later, determined to get 20,000 Naira. He said to Doctor Akpos, I lost my memory. The Doctor Akpos smiled and called; Nurse! Please give this man some............................ http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=448 click to continue

Akpos be correct doctor

Doctor Akpos opened a new clinic. He wrote on it; Any treatment is 10,000 Naira, and if I cannot treat you, I will pay you 20,000 Naira. A man wanting the 20,000 Naira for himself, went to Akpos; Doctor, I can’t feel any taste. I lost my sense of taste. Akpos then ask one of his nurses to give him a few drops of medicine from box 22. Upon taking the drops, the man shouted; It is urine o o o! Doctor Akpos said; Congratulations, your sense of taste is back. The man was very angry that he lost his 10,000 Naira. He came back two weeks later, determined to get 20,000 Naira. He said to Doctor Akpos, I lost my memory. The Doctor Akpos smiled and called; Nurse! Please give this man some............................ http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=448 click to continue

Akpos be correct doctor

Doctor Akpos opened a new clinic. He wrote on it; Any treatment is 10,000 Naira, and if I cannot treat you, I will pay you 20,000 Naira. A man wanting the 20,000 Naira for himself, went to Akpos; Doctor, I can’t feel any taste. I lost my sense of taste. Akpos then ask one of his nurses to give him a few drops of medicine from box 22. Upon taking the drops, the man shouted; It is urine o o o! Doctor Akpos said; Congratulations, your sense of taste is back. The man was very angry that he lost his 10,000 Naira. He came back two weeks later, determined to get 20,000 Naira. He said to Doctor Akpos, I lost my memory. The Doctor Akpos smiled and called; Nurse! Please give this man some............................ http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=448 click to continue

chemistry class

Akpos Asks teacher: Excuse ma, if you mix Omo and klin , will there be foam?

Teacher respond: Yes of course, why ask such a stupid question at the beginning of the year, are you going to pass this class at all?

Akpos laughs and whispers to the other kids, such a dumb teacher, how can................ www..com/view_joke.php?id=441 click to continue

chemistry class

Akpos Asks teacher: Excuse ma, if you mix Omo and klin , will there be foam?

Teacher respond: Yes of course, why ask such a stupid question at the beginning of the year, are you going to pass this class at all?

Akpos laughs and whispers to the other kids, such a dumb teacher, how can................ www..com/view_joke.php?id=441 click to continue

Things they happen o o

Abeg i have joke for una

Akpos the guy man pastor

A dog died and the owner took it to pastor Akpos.

He asked Akpos if he could organise a funeral service for the dead animal.

Pastor Akpos: No, we can’t hold a service for your dog in our church. But there is a church down the street, maybe they will do it for you.

Man: But pastor, will that church accept a donation of $ 1million?

Pastor Akpos shouted........................ http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=430 click to continue

A dog died and the owner took it to pastor Akpos.

He asked Akpos if he could organise a funeral service for the dead animal.

Pastor Akpos: No, we can’t hold a service for your dog in our church. But there is a church down the street, maybe they will do it for you.

Man: But pastor, will that church accept a donation of $ 1million?

Pastor Akpos shouted........................ http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=430 click to continue

A GIRL'S FACEBOOK/BBM STATUS UPDATES

A GIRL'S FACEBOOK/BBM STATUS UPDATES:-
"Wow I just found the love of my
life...Nothing
will ever stop me from loving my man."
.
,, ,,
.
,14 DAYS LATER:-
"Never make sum1 a priority when u're just
an option to
them..!"
.
,, ,,
.
2 DAYS LATER:-
"I HATE love so much!"
.
,, ,,
.
3 DAYS LATER.
"I'm happy to remain single and I will never
fall in love
again."
.
,, ,,
.
5 DAYS LATER:-
"I'm looking for a man to love and treat me
right."
.
,, ,,
.
15 DAYS LATER:-
"When u deeply fall in love with a right
person, u realise
why it didn't work with anybody else but
him.
I love my guy so much....mmmuaaa h. "
.
,, ,,
.
8 DAYS LATER:-
"smh..!! All men are the same!!!!!

Is this true?

.
.
.
.

read thousands of akpos jokes only on www..com . Think about jokes, think about .com .

Gym method

One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM, seeing an ad for
a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5,
10 or 20 kilograms on the first day.

So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead him into a
huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and
ladders and tell him to wait a minute.

He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and
out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying "If you
catch me, I'm yours." He starts running, and just as
he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he
knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the
ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars,
here and there. And just as he's about to catch the
blonde, pop, she....................... http://www..com/m/view_joke.php?id=426 click to continue

A Gorvernor was in the church
for Thanksgiving. The topic of
the sermon was "repentance".
.
After the sermon, Pastor #Praise
asked the congregation "is there
anybody here that want to
give his/her life to christ? Lift
your hand let me pray for you".
.
But Nobody responded.
After about three calls, The
Governor mounted the alter and
made a statement. "IF YOU
WANT TO GIVE YOUR LIFE TO
CHRIST, PLEASE LIFT YOUR HAND
LET THE PASTOR PRAY FOR YOU.
COS WE WANT GOOD CITIZENS IN
THIS STATE."
.
A young boy lifted up his hand
reluctantly and the Governor
asked his personal assistant to
give the boy $50,000. .
The Governor repeated thesame
statement again, And this time
around................. http://www..com/
view_joke.php?id=424 continue

A Gorvernor was in the church
for Thanksgiving. The topic of
the sermon was "repentance".
.
After the sermon, Pastor #Praise
asked the congregation "is there
anybody here that want to
give his/her life to christ? Lift
your hand let me pray for you".
.
But Nobody responded.
After about three calls, The
Governor mounted the alter and
made a statement. "IF YOU
WANT TO GIVE YOUR LIFE TO
CHRIST, PLEASE LIFT YOUR HAND
LET THE PASTOR PRAY FOR YOU.
COS WE WANT GOOD CITIZENS IN
THIS STATE."
.
A young boy lifted up his hand
reluctantly and the Governor
asked his personal assistant to
give the boy $50,000. .
The Governor repeated thesame
statement again, And this time
around................. http://www..com/
view_joke.php?id=424 continue

A Gorvernor was in the church
for Thanksgiving. The topic of
the sermon was "repentance".
.
After the sermon, Pastor #Praise
asked the congregation "is there
anybody here that want to
give his/her life to christ? Lift
your hand let me pray for you".
.
But Nobody responded.
After about three calls, The
Governor mounted the alter and
made a statement. "IF YOU
WANT TO GIVE YOUR LIFE TO
CHRIST, PLEASE LIFT YOUR HAND
LET THE PASTOR PRAY FOR YOU.
COS WE WANT GOOD CITIZENS IN
THIS STATE."
.
A young boy lifted up his hand
reluctantly and the Governor
asked his personal assistant to
give the boy $50,000. .
The Governor repeated thesame
statement again, And this time
around................. http://www..com/
view_joke.php?id=424 continue

Happy birthday

Akpos and his best friend Kome writing exam
Akpos and his best friend Kome sat in the
exam room to write their final exams.
Kome had studied very well for the paper
while Akpos had not.
This is what went on between them in the
exam room.
INVIGILATOR : 10 mins more…
AKPOS : Kome, are you done with the
theory?
KOME : Yes, but I am now doing the
objectives.
AKPOS : Ok then pass the theory to me, for
me
to copy because I have not done anything.
KOME : Is that so? Ok take it and copy
because
time is not on our side.
AKPOS : Thanks
INVIGILATOR : Get ready to stop
work……................. http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=381

how akpos eat without paying

A Man Akpos walked into a hotel and ordered
Jollof rice and meat.
He finished eating his food and
was eating his meat when he suddenly shouted
and called for the manager.
Manager: Sir, what's the
problem?.
Akpos: The meat you people
gave me is very hard.
Manager: But sir our meats are
well cooked. There
is no way it will be hard.
Akpos: Okay. Eat it yourself and
tell me how it is.
Manager: [Eating the meat] But sir ................... http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=380 click to continue

how akpos eat without paying

A Man Akpos walked into a hotel and ordered
Jollof rice and meat.
He finished eating his food and
was eating his meat when he suddenly shouted
and called for the manager.
Manager: Sir, what's the
problem?.
Akpos: The meat you people
gave me is very hard.
Manager: But sir our meats are
well cooked. There
is no way it will be hard.
Akpos: Okay. Eat it yourself and
tell me how it is.
Manager: [Eating the meat] But sir ................... http://www..com/view_joke.php?id=380 click to continue