Stats: 3,186,733 members, 7,930,502 topics. Date: Saturday, 24 August 2024 at 08:07 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Kazyhm's Profile / Kazyhm's Posts
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Albertone: At the bolded......the reason men don't like to grant divorce is women want to quit with life long benefits..........as if divorce is equal to retirement........... Divorce will be the easiest if partners wouldn't make demands.......they refer to it as divorce settlements...........why will you file for divorce with throat cutting demand... 3 Likes |
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xavuv: Lol....don't mind the op....... It is actually a bad narrative when the purpose of an article was not mentioned in the first paragraph. He dragged every of his reader through unnecessary journey of his personal issues; when in actually sense what he want us to know was his neighbor got a bad deal...........the disadvantage of the location of his neighbor's apartment relative to the Generator house....... |
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phorget: Ambode is from where ? |
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People with no experience whatsoever are telling people what works and not........... It is actually wrong to define things the wrong way just justify it is wrong........ How you mean by teachers communicate their emotion via cane? ....that is nonsense and blackmail..... Same way one of our family friend said... beating a child is bullying them to do your bidding......she understands better now with her four years old son....... Corporal punishment have worked in a lot of ways.......many of us are very grateful that our parents stood their ground and direct us to the right path....... through all possible means. This your recommendation hasn't worked anywhere..........anyway, you can only condemn what has worked.....and be assuming that the contrary would be better.... 2 Likes |
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OurTruth24: |
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rbass144: Being daft is when someone have low logical reasoning. His opinion appeared to be an order to you for mischievous reasons but then you added executive to it.........that says volume about your person. There are many factors people considered before paying for an apartment, generator's location is the least of it ? Even if they were told....I believe that in their own understand; never thought they will share apartment with a bunch of unreasonable human....... In fact, your emphasis on how he got your fiancee's contact and your narrative perspective about the knocking on her apartment door and given little detail on the main issues.....make the whole talk childish...(you warned the gateman, warned a co-tenant).....just to preserve a pvssy.........the funny aspect is that; you are an absentee fiance....your fiancee will definitely need help here and there.........but your self-centeredness will eventually deprive her of the help she would need. On a final note, I will like to encourage you to brave for impact....because she will definitely be fvcked........and she will always skip that yosh Yash in her gist with you. 1 Like |
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If not that this op is stupid.....even if you don't trust your fiancee and presumed that the unknown co-tenant act is fishy...........at least when you hear meeting and the agenda of the meeting....... supposed to have redirected your thought and the preconceived ideas about the whole issue......life is not about your inconsiderate self alone. The generator noise is a very big issue.and a legitimate concern.....he is paying equal rent just like you......he deserves, privacy, sound sleeps, rest of mind and environment free of generator fume. You are human and should have respect for other human......the meeting is supposed to be a fruitful one even without the involvement of the landlord/caretaker. I believe none of the tenants will agree to be doing sleepless nights while other tenants are snoring, watching late night movies etc.........it a common sense. 2 Likes |
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I don't like the arrangement.... 1) The dinning room space is half of the living; it is a waste of viable space. 2) The master bedroom should be relocated to where the smaller room is. 3) the room window at the entrance/exit of the kitchen is not cool. 4) the wall of the window of the room beside masters bedroom should be extended on the line if the masters bedroom. 5) too much corner edges in the house...... nothing is wrong with a box shape designs....if you know what you're doing. 6) the visitors' toilet is a disaster in that location. Besides, visitors' toilet could ba a waste of space and scarce resources. |
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Naira20: So going by this....the ibos has displaced the Yorubas in Lagos ? Meaning the more the ibos are get richer, the more the Yorubas are getting poorer (ibos' progress is directly proportional to the Yorubas retrogression). Could this be true ? |
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Naira20: So the Yoruba in Lagos relocated to where ? |
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Do survey on what happens to business own by Igbos after their wedding ceremony....... Then you can be in the proper perspective...........I don't agree that Igbos are taking over Lagos......... Igbo population in Lagos is not evenly distributed........just because they dominate okota, oyingbo market and alaba does not mean they are more in Lagos. |
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The west missed the stone age ways so much...that they spending fortune to drag the world back to the era before the invention of fabric from cotton and style....... In addition, they enjoyed the slaves and master relationship of the Colonia era........they invented the visa lottery......for third world countries citizens to continue from where their captured forefathers stopped. And African without any iota of self Worth...... follows the west hock, line and sinker....... thinking it is progressive. Promotion of moral in every culture is the solution.....the church of England recent resolution on same sex marriage has clearly show us that religion is a cultural promotion.....not ticket to any heaven whatsoever. 2 Likes |
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TheSourcerer: This is the antidote to the chaos....... your head is there 1 Like |
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Foolish her......not every women are lucky.....like the former olori of ooni of ife..... But then her mother's generation is damn different from ours......in pursuit of happiness, her mother fvcked three dicks officially....... What she is invariably saying is that she grew up in a civilian barrack.......or rather she grew up as an attachment to uncles, Nephews and friends.......a man that will marry a single mother with seven children have very little to no choice. 1 Like |
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Rubbish reportage.....so the husband doesn't have a name ? |
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It is the education ministry that spoil the curricular........they substitute math for quantitative reasoning.......started teaching JSS 3 syllabus to kindergarten instead arithmetic and sentence construction. |
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mu2sa2: Nobody ever believes/agree that any female could be wayward until it becomes personal. 14 Likes 1 Share |
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onumadu: I think you're viewing this issue from personal perspective........ Yoruba didn't distinguish sex from child(ren).........hence not pretending that female gets pregnant.....and a child must be trained properly..........the bottom line is....if you engage in sex, the consequences is pregnancy.....and who get pregnant and who trains a child ? Yoruba takes pride in training their children and how well trained the children turned out to be.........attend Yoruba wedding to witness how big the pride of a yoruba parents are..... In the same vein, an untrained child is a pain in the ass of a yoruba parents.......an untrained child is a shame (whether the child refute training or not is irrelevant) Therefore, the men are not being protect......only that Yoruba understand the difference between male and female.... especially in term of biological make up...... The Yoruba culture also understand the advantages of being male and the advantages of being female at any material time..........so the culture put in place measures that will limit the vulnerability of female.......and protect the male from labouring in vein......that being said..... Yoruba understand the sacrifice of training a child....and it requires genuine effort of the father and motherly love and care. Yoruba also understand that oju oloju, kole Jo oju Eni (human care more about their personal stuff than a care taker) This cultural practices actually works, however it was more effective in the past...but before all this mix-ups.........when there is no much interference, and people uphold the cultural values.....more than personal value..... citizens falls in line and we all benefit from it....... Those time when people understands that some ethic issues are not necessarily national issues So it is not aimed at punishment......it is for the general good of everybody......but anybody that deviate either intentionally by personal choice and feelings or by circumstances beyond his/her control should be prepared for the livelong consequences....Koju maribi, gbogbo Ara lo'gun e. |
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onumadu: These measures are not punishment aimed particularly to any gender........it is more of discipline and self control......you can't liberalize sex and have a sane less dramatic societies..........my stand is beyond primordial sentiments. I believe if every culture adopt the Yoruba approach, it will curb paternity fraud, promiscuity, it is a birth control; especially for those that don't have the resources to raise a child, it solves the issue of teenage pregnancy and the complications associated with given birth through premature pelvic.... Underage will will have enough time for self development, Education and skills acquisition...there would be less distraction...... Yoruba don't see the practice as a punishment because to before warned is to before harm. |
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onumadu: Yeah! Interesting differences.....with it peculiar advantages and disadvantages.......... I for one prefers the Yoruba cultural approached to many issues, the issue of first male child take it all, marrying a girl to produce a male child to a family with numerous female children, the OSU challenges etc....... |
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onumadu: Well, as far as the father is known, the child is not Omo-Ale........ In Yoruba culture as I said, grandparent don't inherit grandchild(ren) by custom......fatherless child(ren) are/is a burden to his/her/their mother as she carries them/he/her to her new marriage...that is if she eventually find a man that is willing to accommodate them.......in most case they become part of the family and that is where the problem of the Omo-Ale become pronounced; in cases where the relationship between the legitimate children produce in the marriage is not well manage. Most time, there won't be an obvious difference between these children........ especially when they are still young..........the difference most often appears naturally when the parent are aging......... And I don't think that is a punishment, that is why Yoruba trains there children irrespective of the gender with preference......and Yoruba girls understand the consequences of promiscuity. 1 Like |
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onumadu: Omo means a child, ale means a concubine So Omo-Ale is a child birth as a consequence of illegal or extramarital affairs.....contextually, it is not correct to refers to Omo ale as a tag...it is the situation of birth of a member of a family..... not that you can just pick up a family member and tag him/her Omo ale....... That been said...the Easter practices whereby bride price is return or because some rite were not done or done properly etc whatever the situation might be.....which in almost all the case; the bride/ girl's family will inherit child(ren) by such union and child(ren) adopting the wife's family name is alien to Yoruba culture...... If a boy/guy impregnate or a girl got pregnant for a boy/guy.......the child is not an Omo ale per sey......because he/she has a recognizable father...either deadbeat or livebeat.......and such a child adopt his/her father's name. Omo-Ale is a child birth as a result/consequences of an unwanted pregnancy either through extramarital affairs or promiscuity behavior of a single lady/girl.....and the pregnant girl/mother does not know or cannot pinpoint who is responsible.....such a child can not escape being refers to as Omo ale......and the mother is refers to as Adele mosuu......most especially when it comes to right, privileges and inheritance.... further more, if such a child's excesses is too much, he/she can be banned or expell from the family..........though, family members do accomodates such child(ren) on compassionate ground for the erring girl/lady or for the innocent child(ren) A divorced lady is refers to as Adele-bo.... Irrespective whether the union produced a child or not. Yoruba has a cultural moral discipline.....that does not create room for sex.......even to an unmarried adult......sex and children are only condone within marriage.........but if.....you loose guard to an extent to that you got pregnant...and has the fortitude to go the whole hug to have the baby.......you and your child will be yab sooner or later.....as a child, people will narrate your story......and it is shameful and painful....... |
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onumadu: You're missing the point of some ethical practices in culture and custom........... In Yoruba culture, you'll bear your father's name whether he married your mother legally or not...or she your father's baby mama. And if your mother is from a royal family you can't be a heir to the throne.. .........but you are entitle to everything from your father inheritance....to the extent of being an heir to the throne if your father is from a royal family. And cultural beliefs in the west differs from the east in a lot of ways and approaches...Yoruba never really differentiate female child from male in term of rights, inheritance etc....so family house is never empty due to lack of a male child. But then.... promiscuity is common everywhere.....and trying to curb or discourage it is what necessitated some cultural and moral measures not that they are running away from the truth as you alluded. 1 Like |
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Igbo culture does not represent Nigeria culture.... In Yoruba land....a woman that did not get married cannot have an illegitimate child and raised such in her father's house.........such a child go hear am........na Omo ale (bastard)... Absolutely, you can stay unmarried and still fantastic......... Those that married with no child has family support at all times. 1 Like |
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Mindlog: Let ask orunmila, orimolade |
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Something that is baffling about men and women is that...there is this mischievous notion that....women do many wrong thing unintentional while men are very intentional about their acts... either wrong or right..... I had similar issue some times in the past when my child was about six months old.....my wife mistakingly gave my daughter a wrong drug that would have taken her life.....but I never read any meaning to the mistake. for the fact that she (my wife) is a medical practitioner..such mistake shouldn't have come from her....I drove to all the pharmacies in my area looking a drug my wife said would neutralize the drug in her system........thank God I got an alternative drug (can't remember the name now) and she survived it..... I came back from work one evening; about two months after the drug incident, my wife was in the kitchen so I lifted my daughter up to play with her, as she heard my voice, my wife told me her (my daughter) food is on the dining, I got to the dinning and saw two feeders with food, I took one and started feeding my daughter. My wife came out of the kitchen to the dinning, on siting the feeder left on the dining table, she just started shouting that I have poison my own daughter.....before I could say jack Robinson, everyone in the quarters are in my house... When I was query her if she put poison in one of the feeder, she said no but that the feeder I picked was the one she make in the morning before leaving for work......and because of that it has become harmful...... Since this incident, I have been very wary of her......such accusation from my own wife Reading unnecessary meaning to innocent act and blowing of false alarm......for what gain ? Anyway, I started showing her attitude, and counting every little misdeed of hers......infact, at some point she accused me of having mood swing....I ignore her totally..........the marriage was becoming one kind, she then started querying me about what the problem was........anyway, she paid for that singular act of stupidness and I believe she will never try that with me next time, we're good now. 2 Likes |
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This Harry of a guy is not wise 2 Likes |
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My grandfather's house in Esure. When this house was commissioned in 1955 it was a master piece of art, landmark and status symbol of the owner. It announced the owner as a very wealthy man in the community. It is a 12-room affair sitting on about 4plots of land. When my grandfather moved into the house, he took two rooms above as his parlour and bedroom, gave a room to each of his three wives and ensured that they all lived downstairs. The balance of the four rooms upstairs were taken by his children whom he ensured didn't cohabit with their mothers. He gave the balance of the three rooms downstairs to relatives whose children lived upstairs with his own children. By ensuring the children lived with him upstairs he minimized the influence of their mothers on them and engendered childhood bonding amongst all of them. It was very common to discover that amongst the sibblings there was much greater unity between children of different mothers than those of same mothers. Our fathers grew up with that love amongst themselves and their cousins with whom they all lived. The house was totally filled up. Everybody lived in and around Esure. That is the way it was and I met a great deal of that arrangement. Today, there is just a SOLE OCCUPANT in this house, my 86-year old uncle. He lives there all by himself! All the children are scattered all over the cities taking their mother with them,leaving the poor old man with a visiting house help. I was talking with him just this morning. I told him: " Baba, do you know that your own Grandfather, Pa Sunmola Babaegbe didn't live this way?. When he was about in his late 70s the man took a young wife to make his number 6. By the time he died at age 94, he had children who were just toddlers. At every point in his life he had a wife and children all hovering around him!" That was SENSE! I went on to remind him: " Your own father, Imam Yoonus Adetayo, though he had three wives, in his old age he was practically alone. One of the wives died before him, the other, my own grandmother was almost permanently living with her children and the last wife was just about doing the same thing." My grandfather lived till 90years of age but he himself was almost always alone in this house save for one of his daughters who on account of some circumstances lived in the house with him. That daughter was his saving grace otherwise he could jolly well have died a lonely man! What kind of rubbish is that? You can then imagine what will happen to men of my generation, today's born-again lovers of monogamy. I began to recall memories of my childhood in this house. Very nostalgic!!! Didn't we have great fun here as children in those days ![]() The Muslim festival of Eid-el-kabir was something every man, woman and child looked forward to in those days for the people of Esure who were then predominantly Muslims. In those days, the Eid-El-Kabir [ ILÉYÉ ] was the signal for all family members from far and near to gather with fellow kinsmen in Esure. People came home from as far away as Europe and America. Those four or five days were days you didn't want to miss. Even Christian members of the family gathered. You were sure to meet as many people as you had wanted to meet. It was basically the same for Christmas too especially in those quarters with predominant christian population. It was the opportunity of BONDING for family members. It was the opportunity for family members to reach out and seek one form of HELP or the other from their kinsmen. My grandfather's house could have on a good more than 100 souls camped in it. People slept where they found space. Men go to other houses less occupied to find spaces to sleep. It was such discomfort that was fun that you joyously lived through and you never thought of it as a discomfort FOOD was the least of the problem. It was NEVER in consideration. We ate excessively, every single person. 1. Our MOTHERS, aunties and older sisters did ALL THE COOKING for that mass of population coming into and going out of this house. They COOKED ROUND THE CLOCK. Men brought their FIANCEES to this gathering and together the FIANCEES BONDED with the women of the family. In the course of these activities the incoming wives were already under the microscope long before they became wives. The family got to know them and they do got to know the family!!! We have stopped all that. TODAY, we engage women from outside to do the catering for us. The women, girls, fiancees and everyone stayed in-doors waiting to be served. BONDING LOST. 2. The MEN of the family, our fathers, uncles and older brothers, took care of the Ileya rams. My grandfather particularly liked the rams to be skinned. It was such an herculean task but who dared to complain? The skins he used as praying mats. The men did the job efficiently while they began to discuss many history stories. Those were the opportunities for us children to hear many of the stories that I talk about today. We have stopped all that. TODAY, we engage butchers from outside to do the rams for us. The men and boys are too busy with the WhatsApp and Instagram to have time to waste on rams. These days they even come along with smart TV so they hook up with the internet. Everyone stayed in-doors to watch TV while waiting to be served meat. BONDING LOST. 3. CHILDREN were just children in those days. Our chief duty was to PLAY. We joined children from everywhere and at every opportunity to PLAY!!! On the sallah day when the rams have been slaughtered we lined to get the trophies. It was the horns of the rams. We had to get it for use in another segment of PLAY! We dressed up and began a tour of visit of houses. We went in convoy and entourage visiting uncle's and daddies. We ate and drank where ever we went, got Ileya meat and when we announced that " sir, we are leaving" we were sure to get parting gift of "Owó Odún" When we gathered that money at the end of two days it was usually substantial for the level of children. We shared it and each child goes to submit to his mother for "safekeeping" All that has CHANGED. We have since shot it down. We don't encourage CHILDHOOD BONDING any more; what with the CLASS arrogance, you don't want your children associating with those of less fortunate people. 4. Since yesterday I have been taking mental note of the number of houses LOCKED DOWN in Esure. Even in the season of Christmas, at least HALF OF THE HOUSES in this town are under LOCK AND KEYS. These days, even during the Ileya festival, many houses are LOCKED DOWN. Yes, although the original patriarchs/matriarch of the house has since departed but where are his descendants? They are in the cities of Lagos, Ibadan, Abuja, London, New York and all the world. Majority of the ones in the cities of Nigeria have become Born-again Christians or Muslims. The Pastorpreneurs of the Pentecostal doctrines of Christian and the emergency Uztaz of the Wahhabism doctrnes of Islam have tuned their minds away from their families and homeland. Do you know that as we speak, Pastor WF Kumuyi practically LOCKS DOWN his congregation between 24th and 26th December of EVERY YEAR? He does same during EASTER. He locks them up at his Deeperlife camp grounds for Prayers. As we speak there are countless Muslim camps on that Lagos-Ibadan doing exactly the same thing as Pastor Kumuyi. In their thinking, they are SHIELDING THE "FAITHFULS" away from the temptations connected with the season of Christmas. You can imagine!!! The few days of opportunity for men and women to reach out to friends, neighbours and families to do catch up, fraternize and get to know themselves and probably seek and get help, they will be ROBBED OF IT!!! The Pastorpreneurs and Uztaz, the churches particularly, have arranged series of event throughout the month of DECEMBER to arrest their attention and drain as much TIME AND MONEY as they possibly can from the people. The result is that we keep getting more empty towns in our homelands, families and friends drifting apart, men becoming less caring and the society generally suffering a degeneration. In my mother's rural village of Òdónóko, houses are actually collapsing out of long abandonment. My maternal grandmother's 4-room house practically VANISHED from the spot where we used to see it. I still don't understand what happened!!!! Ayodele Oyewole Adabale summarized it for me when he wrote: "Wisdom is an open hidden truth,that can only be known by the gifted. Our inability to relate the past with the present,is making us to be scared of tomorrow. We are people living another people’s life. There our confusion started. We need to rediscover who we really are,if not we will just be merely existing but not living. I used to be optimistic in the past we will get it right one day,but no more" . #WehaveMissedRoad. © Adedamola Adetayo 26 December 2022 |
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