@poster

a guy wld loose interest if he sees that you are not genuine with ur hard to get attitude, why play hard to get when u know u really want the guy? the fact that u give in to a chase early desnt mean u r cheap, it is the way u carry and reciprocate to the guy that really matters, we women must learn to protect our pride and dignity and also to respect ourselves but at the same time respect the fact that someone appreciates u and wld want to have something to do with u.

a man would loose interest in the relationship whether u come cheap or hard to him if we women dnt have respect for urselves, a lot of women just lay about, always doing nothing important with there life, men love challenges, not just challenges of men loitering around women but challenges that u have a vision, and plan for ur life.

@outstrip: my irresposibility is only yr opinion, it is not my surname. we have only heard of one side of the story which is d womans side and we do not av the mans story. my advice to the poster was not to judge who is responsible or not or who started it but just to advice her to find a solution to the problem.

i am a woman and if i may be honest, we women run our mouth and it gets us into trouble.

@poster: i dnt know who u r neither do i know who ur husband is, but wat i am saying is that whatever happened has happened and it is time to find a solution to it and move on to the next chapter of ur life. if there is a problem there is a solution to it no matter how terrible it is. what makes u think that leaving ur husband would solve the problem. u av worked and laboured for 11 yrs and u just want to throw it in the bin just becos things r not working well between u and ur husband. he was not like this when u married him so u shld know dat something is wrong somewhere.

men r all the same and they r babies, it is easy for someone else to tell u to leave ur husband but i can bet that if they r in ur shoes they wont. think of ur children. many pple who r victims of broken marriage would definitely tell u that they dnt like it.

Ur husband has wronged u and i am not rubbing his head for doing what he did, if u leave him and leave with unforgiveness, wat good will it do to u. stay focused on ur career, stay focus on ur goals and aspirations, train ur children in the way of the lord, remove ur eyes from wat he is doing, concentrate on being the best, ignore his actions, watever he says to u avoid fighting and confrontation, God has given u those two wonderful girls concentrate on their wellbeing and like i said keep praying for him, and dont stop talking positive things about wat u want. God has given us imaginative powers above every other thing he created, imagine wat u want and talk to God about it.

remember for as long as u stay in contact wit God he will never disappoint you. i am not on anybodies side, am just giving u an advice. if u ask many couples who have been married for years, u will find out that ur case is not the worst and they have all come out stronger than u can imagine.

BE STRONG IN THE STRENGTH OF UR LORD.

@poster: u said she is not happy in her present relationship, have u taken out time to find out why she is not, from wat u av said , as a woman i can give u 3 good reasons to keep ur feelings from known to her.

1, a sensible unmarried woman who is broken hearted will neva look for anoda relationship wen one is not working, rather she will ask and work on why the present one is not if she is really in love wit the guy.

2, a sensible unmarried woman would ask herself why the families of her boyfriend in her present relationship does not want her and will work on it. a whole family cant be wrong about one person.

3, a sensible unmarried woman who is no more interested in a relationship would end the relationship and stand her grounds and not looking for an escape route. the fact that she does not know how to go about ending the relationship means there is more to the relationship than u were told

u need to find out the facts about this babe, if her present relationship is not working wat exactly is the root cause, it takes two to tangle , if she claims to be in a relationship and she is not happy why is she still in it. dnt be a FATHER THERESSA, who is trying to give a shoulder to someone. if u do u will only be giving love and not receiving, allow her to solve her issues wit her boyfriend and give her time to heal her wounds by herself, dnt help her heal it cos u will end up falling in love out of pity.

if u r positive wat u feel for her is LOVE and its strong i will adjure u to pray about it, tell God wat u want, he is God and he understands us even wen we communicate wit him in our own language. am sure he will direct u and order ur steps. also pray for THE GIRL and her happiness, by praying for others, u av ur own case settled.

always talk to God about everything in ur life and u will be amazed ao he will show u things u dint expect.

i av been in ur position b4 and wat i did was just to pray about it, though i was deeeply hurting i had to let go of the guy and after about 6 months he came back to me free and available and the relationship is growing stronger.

send me an email if there is snything else i can do kemiadekore@yahoo.co.uk

@almondjoy: it is a pity that u av said all wat u said, it really shows dat u dnt have a clue of wat God's view about marriage, cos if u do u wont advice like this.

@poster: i quite agree wit wat segunusaid adviced u, and the only suggestion i can give to you is to go down on ur knees and ask God to come into ur house. in as much as i dnt support domestic violence, i dnt also support u being foolish and folding ur arms. i want u to understand that the spiritual controls the physical and wat soever has been settled in the spiritual is wat happens in the physical. do not see ur husband as d bad person but see the devil trying to destroy ur marriage only for one reason YOUR DAUGHTERS.

i am advicing u from experience and i can vividly tell u that ur husband is not the problem but the devil who is using ur ignorance to attack ur marriage. u need to get closer to God and pray fervently. i av read all the adv given to u, they all av a point but one thing i am sure is dat u r created for greatness, a unique woman, wonderfully and fearfully made and i believe in u that u will keep that family intact, i dnt know who u r but i believe in ur God given ability to be a saviour in that marriage.

one thing u must learn about this life is dat UNFORGIVENESS is the devils strongest weapon. DONT FALL A VICTIM. the devil has no power watsoever over ur marriage , he is only using ur lack of Gods word in ur life to shake ur marriage. change ur confession, talk positive things, talk the changes u want in ur marriage. God made u a helper to ur husband not only wen things r going on well but wen things r not well, he needs ur help now, dnt give up on him cos GOD HAS NOT GIVEN UP ON HIM.

if there is anything else i can do my email is kemiadekore@yahoo.co.uk