Akoja360:
"listen ,what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.it hits hard.then it slowly fades leaving you stranded in a failing marraige .your parents did it,and thier parents before them,you probably gonna do it to..break the circle,rise above .focus on science...."

Rick...

as funny as you sound, you're right.

Remember killjoy from the post Seven reasons you shouldn't get married https://www.nairaland.com/1978856/seven-reasons-why-should-never#27676344 ? Well, I'm back.

I've been off nairaland for over three years because I've been busy studying visual effects and film making. I'll post some of my visual effects works soon.

Anyways a good pal of mine Presley Prebor, very talented teenager wrote a script based on my life experiences, appropriately titled "KILLJOY", and to my surprise it got selected in three American festivals so far and expect more selections.

Watch out for KILLJOY movie after we get sponsors and eventually shoot the movie

Below is an artistic film cover i made to depict the general idea of the movie and a poster we use to solicit for sponsors.

Macuberry:
Dear Future Wife,
I really don't know where to start cos there's a whole lot I want to pen down and it seems like there won't be place for pleasantries. Then again, it's my Missing Rib I'm addressing the letter to, how could I write without pleasantries? I mean, what loving husband does that, right? Besides, what would these spies reading your letter think of me?
So, how's my Angel doing? I miss you already - your smile, charm, those little spats, your cooking and the other things that go with marriage life. I hope everyday you wake up, every step you take leads you in the right direction towards achieving your set goals in life. Kudos if that's the case; if not, please redirect your steps. How are my in-laws doing? I presume they're doing great, hail and hearty. Extend my regards to them.
I'm writing you because there are some issues I need you to be aware of even before we finally meet. There are quite a lot of them but I'll pick just one - the WEDDING CEREMONY. I chose this not because it's the most important or most delicate, nah. It's just a ceremony. Rather, I chose it because there'd be no point discussing it after we've been pronounced Hubby and Wifey.
Dear Future Wife, I love you so much - believe me. If it were not so, I would have told you. As a matter of fact, that's one of the numerous reasons we get to be together. But you see that wedding ceremony called WHITE WEDDING aka WEDDING SOLEMNISATION, the SECOND MARRIAGE CEREMONY (SMC) that is commonly practised, I have no plans on engaging in that. I'm not saying I won't meet your parents or do all that is required of a suitor, I will. I'll pay the bride price, perform almost all (if not all) the marriage rights acceptable by your culture. I strongly believe that as a Christian and an African, the marriage ceremony validates our union. I see no reason why we should gather people days later (months in some cases) in the name of WEDDING SOLEMNISATION or the SMC.
Among the numerous reasons why we shouldn't go on with the SMC, here are a few.
1. IT IS A BORROWED CULTURE
Movies, video clips, books and a little research have shown that it is the marriage ceremony of the English and Americans. It is their own version of our Traditional Marriage Ceremony. Why perform two different marriage rights? Why say "I do" twice, like we didn't get you the first time? Why have the SMC like the first one was child's play? The insidious effect of the SMC is stealing all the glitz and glamour, riches, respect and show of our Traditional Marriages. We tend to pay more attention, respect and spend more on the SMC. This is not good for our culture. What's the need of an SMC? Is it rational?
2. IT IS A WASTE OF TIME, ENERGY AND RESOURCES
After the Traditional Marriage (TM), we sure as hell would be exhausted. Why begin preparation for the SMC when we should be resting or consummating our marriage? Why spend money and resources (SMCs are usually big budget projects no matter how low key the ceremony may seem to be) when we could start a better project with them? If our parents decide that they want to sponsor the SMC, we will ask them to direct the funds to the TM. Nothing spoil if we give out iPhones and TV sets as souvenir for the TM. So, why waste time, energy and resources? Is it rational?
3. WE'D BE DECEIVING OURSELVES (HOST AND GUEST)
When I attend SMCs and that statement is made, the one that ends with, ". . . or forever remain silent", I just wonder who is deceiving who. There was no objection when he went to see her parents, when he fulfilled all the marriage rights, not even when they feed themselves and kissed during the TM; you now think someone would just stand up, speak up, shut up and sit down, which then results in the annulment of the marriage. Is that what we think? I laugh in Ibibio. I don't even want to talk much about it. The whole SMC thing seems to me like a scripted play. I see no reason why I should invite people, perform for them and in the end feed them. Come on, Nollywood still de available.
Another funny statement I hear is usually from the Compere. "Let's watch as she performs her first duty of feeding the groom". Uhmm sorry, she feed him at the TM and that dance you called "their first dance" is actually their seventh dance. They danced about six times at the TM. Now I ask, Wifey, should we deceive ourselves and the guests in like manner? Is it rational?
4. WHATEVER REMINISCENCE YOU WANT TO HAVE ABOUT SMC CAN BE CREATED AT THE TM.
What are those lovely memories you'd love to create at the SMC, tell me during the marriage plans and I'll see to it that we create them during the TM - simple! Why the need for an SMC to have/crate an EPIC ceremony? Is it rational?
5. YOU DON'T GET TO HURT PEOPLE'S FEELINGS, BE HURT OR MAKE ENEMIES OF YOUR GUESTS.
My love, my Siseko, the only champagne in my glass, the only channel in my decoder, let's think this through. There's the possibility of a guest not being served food or drink, only toothpick. There's the possibility of making an enemy of someone because he/she wasn't given a souvenir at a wedding. There are quite a lot of scenarios that could play out resulting to hard feelings at a wedding ceremony (TM or SMC) - host or/and guest. Why double the chance of such an occurrence? "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof". Why cause additional wahala? Is it rational?
Let me stop here since I planned on mentioning only a few. I hope you see reasons why we shouldn't think of SMC. I know you're learned, you've been taught to be rational in thoughts, words and actions; for that, I believe you buy my idea on the irrelevance of SMC.
I'm telling you this before hand so you don't allow family, friends or even society pressure you into having an SMC when you already know my (your future husband) stands on it. Remember, it's us against the world.
Be reminded though, that I won't love you any less if you succeed in arm-twisting me into having an SMC but rest assured that my love and respect for you is bound to increase exponentially if we skip the SMC.
I have to stop here now my Sherikoko. I hope to write you a couple more letters before we meet. I'm not promising though but I'll do my best to write you more often. Until then, keep being you - Big, Bold and Beautiful.


Your Pookie Bear,

Ochuko Oghenero Okpako

Seun come and see...

Cc lalasticlala ishilove seun

2 things

1. I created this thread a very long time ago and have even forgotten I created it

2. I haven't been on nl for long, thanks to work, really shocked to see this on fp, plz try check my last thread .


https://www.nairaland.com/3093574/watch-advert-fusion-x-nigerian#45439202

Cc lalasticlala ishilove seun please move this great and rare work to fp. Thanks

The release date is July 31st

Cc lalasticlala ishilove seun

Sorry I couldn't upload...

Kept getting the "sorry unexpected error" message

Here are some pictures and the link


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b315ZuZj0Zc NOw on Youtube.. Watch in HD

https://www.facebook.com/ThefusionX/videos/495193234015362/

Abbymaytech:
New arrivals!!! Available

can I have Core i5 or i7, 4g ram, nvidia graphic card and 2g dedicated card for about 70 - 85k

ikorodureporta:


...na which list b dis? Muslims, or atheists

just what I was wondering...

find out who Col. Sanders is..

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia Grandma a question if
they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern
small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a
grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached
her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She
responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. 'The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?' She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him. 'The defence attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.

"Laugh my butt off" You Go Grandma

Obatala7Kronos:
America - You have 2 cows, Russia seized 1. You milk the other 1 and then gave it to NATO.

Your economy is thriving on the milk but the milk cannot sustain your economy, so you invaded Iraq, stole 2 cows from there. Russia seized 1 again. You milk the other 1 and then gave it to Al-Qaeda & Osama Bin Laden.

Your economy is still thriving on the milk but the milk cannot sustain your economy, so you invaded Libya, stole 2 cows from there. China seized 1. You milk the other 1 and then gave it to ISIS.

Your economy is still thriving on the milk but the milk cannot sustain your economy,
so you attempt to invade Syria, but unfortunately for you, Russia comes into Syria & chased you out like an helpless guinea-fowl.

There's no more milk to run your economy, you decide to explore Nigeria by sending wolves in form of Boko Haram to survey the Nigerian cows.

You hijack the only cow in Ghana & replaced it with 2 prisoners from Guantanamo Bay in order to turn Ghana to the Terrorist Capital of Africa.

In a nutshell, America engages in "bovine heist", loses half of her loot to others and invests the rest in terrorism. hehehehe

a Nigerian corporation, what is a cow? is it the name of a person, animal, place or thing?

more

I stumbled onto this partly exciting, partly funny, partly educative post, thought I should share. screen shots below...

hu

smileysmiley:
you would never know that you are affected by that cause you will be forming "I'm not a crybaby".... I'm a female, I never found marriage as an interesting thing and I still don't now... why mum and dad are separated, I grew up in an area filled with marital violence too, various couples hurting themselves. I've always envisioned myself living alone with a child probably and doing fine... why my psychology has been played with as a child. Not everyone finds marriage interesting and statistics have shown that it is common among kids from broken homes (Google it), if mumsy and popsy had the sweet kind of marriage, you would have been singing a different tune now.

maybe you're right. but I can't base my decision on the experience of my parents but my personal experience. may be they affected me like 0.0001% but the my decision is influenced chiefly by my own experience.

urheme:
This thread is still dragging,

Killjoy make sure you don't marry because if you do, you will be in big trouble,

As for kids, make sure you don,t have one because it will be a course for you.

Children are either liabilities or courses...never a blessing.

A man who cannot bear the liabilities of a woman cannot bear those of children.

The arm robbers, kidnappers and boko boys of today are the courses we birthed into the society

Please stay single. It is safer

thank you for the admonition. I needed it.

LordReed:


I also stated that I am not here to defend marriage, why is that not getting through to you?

Yeah kids are sausage, LoL. Have some kids first then come back and tell us your experience.

lol Ait then

slim49z:

Sure man, whatever
Marriage plus love is fu*king overrated though.

lollzzzzzzzz...

whatever indeed.

andromida:


If this is what and how you think of women then if I were you I definitely won't get married. No one likes to be used in this way.

Men don't need to be married to a woman before they take up her financial needs. Many men have mistresses they dote on while neglecting their wives a man can refuse to be responsible to his legally married wife. If anyone should talk of avoiding marriage these days it's women many have not had it easy century in and out.

If 21st marriage is messed up the previous century marriages can't be all that since they produced disillusioned jaded men and women who don't know how to act well according to you.

Love is love. I remain a believer.

Whether you marry or not.......best wishes.

to a very minute extent, I agree with the bolded. if really something stings you over and over again, why in God's name will you indulge in it over and over again? I'll never know what it feels like to be a single woman, I'll never know...

...but let me tell you something I very well know, the awesome feeling of being a single guy! only few pleasures compare to it.

I hope you find love or love finds you, whichever is less stressful.

thanks for your good wishes

Ruq:


Clearly you don't know yet the importance of the dad and mum figure in the psychological build of children. I'm glad that I read in one of your reply that you're a sucker for knowledge, one day your realization will come.

I absolutely agree with the points you have given, but the thing is if you ever have a change of view, you won't comeback her to state how wrong you were. I do hope your business/dream comes through, cuz you sure look like you pack a punch.

Just know one thing, truly marriage is overrated, it sometimes kill dreams, plot to trap men and all that, despite all these facts, there will be times were the thoughts will fight back of how relevant it is despite being irrelevant in your view.

if I ever come to the realization that "a man NEEDS to be married" for whatever reason, I will come here and share my reasons with all and sundry. I give you my word.

about the thought of the relevance of marriage, hmmmm, let's hope for the best.

thanks for your comments

andromida:




I did a reply to this can't find it anyway I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman wanting a family before menopause marriage is a safe place to raise kids with a man who is committed to same cause then majorly a like-minded lifetime companion in your corner is something wonderful to experience I think. I don't see anything wrong with a man being responsible for his family's welfare.

And yes its true many women marry for the reasons you mentioned but like you their perception of life and marriage shaped their reasons.

I read a post earlier about why women go through school like men do, and end up wanting the man to cater totally for her after marriage.

it's not like there are no women who fend for and take care of themselves, but majority of them want a man to be responsible for them, and the only, legally binding means to that end is marriage.

as far I'm concerned, 21st century marriage is a total fvck up.

hypergamy is the order of the day. love is now just a word in the dictionary.

smileysmiley:
the fact that you have experienced just the bad part of marriage doesn't mean there is no good side to it... there are two sides to every coin and if you had come up with the two sides, I would have taken your post more seriously. All I see is a child who has been badly affected by his parents separation, I do hope you heal though.

oh purrleeeasseeee..... don't come at me with this separation aftermath jorrr. do I look like a baby to cry when daddy and mummy are fighting? women experience the good side of marriage, men suffer the bad part. why do women go to lengths just to get married? what's in for them?

AVRecruit:


well said LordReed. You are indeed a Lord his royal highness :-)

Anyway to stay within judeo christian bounds, i need marriage to have a good f**k. but i think il have to settle for gf and be married to her in my mind.

I am for marriage if it makes good business and spiritual sense - no single mother, good women, God fearing, supportive, not feminist, young and humble etc. If the opposite then its a bad investment.

settle for a gf and get married to her in your mind.... lmao. killarious. but how will you know she is a good woman, God fearing, supportive, not feminist, young and humble etc if you don't marry her??

plus, it is rumored that some women change after marriage - physically, mentally, psychologically, etc. hmmmmm... may the odds be in your favour.

slim49z:


I'm definitely going to look for that book and read it. If I don't see it in bookshops, then I'm gonna buy it online, even if it's 10k. I'd like to read a woman's perspective on this.

you don't have to go far, you can download it. it's free online. get predatory female tooo

andromida:


I don't believe a woman should nag a man into marriage I prefer she looks for a man who is ready and glad to marry her. Getting married is actually taking on more responsibility because marriage means she can't just live for herself she has to look out for her husband and children as well.

When a woman is nagging a man to marry her I hope she is ready for the responsibility that comes with marriage.

quite the contrary, most of the time when a woman starts nagging to be married, it's either she's looking for a bigger yo dump her welfare on or she's scared her friends are getting married while she's about to hit menopause, or both. have you read the Cinderella complex? find it.

LordReed:


For someone who feels marriage will not make him become rich, I can bet he feels double for children.

don't misquote me. besides marriage having a toll on your career, I said many other things. like it might crash with the same passion it started, we are too different to live together, love between a man and a woman is mere affectation. many many more reasons I gave. why tenaciously hold onto just one, matter of fact, the last one?




plus, I also stated that I have no grudges against having kids. but I will not purchase a whole pig for a sausage or two.

slim49z:


Way to solve this dilemma? Life is much more less complex and freer when you don't commit to a particular woman.

What drives me nuts is the African mentality that every man is supposed to get married.

I think the high time men starts making marriage decisions based on how they feel and not how the society feels, the better for everybody.

exactly the point I have been trying so hard to drive into the skull of these niggers!


if they decide to get married because it's a rule, a tradition, a necessity, then at this stage all I can offer them is my sincere sympathy.

Ruq:
Killjoy if you do eventually have a child or children how do you suppose they be raised?

if.... they will raised to dwell on fact, not on some stupid traditional dogma. I will teach them to act and make decisions based on rational reasons not because the fucking world is doing it. kappish??

slim49z:
Great post! I had to break up with my gf(now ex) because she's always nagging about getting married.

The only thing she talks about each time we're together is how this suitor and that suitor is coming for her.

At last I couldn't take it any longer and told her to go get married to her damn suitors and leave me alone and that marriage is the last thing on my mind now.

Who the hell wants to get married anyway when the time could be spent making more money huh?

when a woman starts nagging about marriage, it shows, most of the time, how tired she is of taking responsibility for herself and how she can't wait to push all her problems on her unsuspecting prey. for better for worse indeed.