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Kollisin's Posts

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Jokes Etc / Re: Fast & Furious 8-trailer by kollisin(m): 7:57pm On Dec 09, 2016
Rip ma man

Jokes Etc / Re: Americans React To This Hilarious Nigerian Name by kollisin(m): 7:43pm On Dec 09, 2016
Dis name strong oooo
Ur parent wicked oooo
Dis 21th century na im den come dey name u dis kind thing??
Jokes Etc / Re: FUN TIME!!! What Is The Funniest Wi-fi Name You Have Ever Come Across? by kollisin(m): 8:56pm On Nov 26, 2016
Military zone keep off....
Jokes Etc / Re: Watch This Funny 7years Old Boy Who Wants To Be 419 When He Grows Up by kollisin(m): 8:52pm On Nov 26, 2016
Oga na u tell am make im talk abeg...
Na Nigeria be dis oooo.......
Mumu no plenty again oooo...
Education / Re: Who Can Solve This? by kollisin(m): 7:58am On Nov 26, 2016
Oga na -30 joor....
10-2x20....
Na wetin??
10-(2x20)
10-40
=-30
Properties / Re: Shocking Warnings On A Gate In FCT by kollisin(m): 8:52am On Oct 27, 2016
Horlufemi:
Lie lie. This will even want somebody to enter and check
For naija?
Politics / Re: We Need N222bn To Conduct 2018 Census, Says NPC by kollisin(m): 8:12am On Oct 25, 2016
Weytin happen haha Una wan buy car for everybody wey Una count??

Dis Nigeria don tire me self.....

I wan komot for Nigeria go my village for on do state...

28 Likes 1 Share

Politics / Re: NJC Bars Publication Of Petitions Against Judges by kollisin(m): 8:07am On Oct 25, 2016
Why..??
Why
Na only me do read dis thing
Abeg make person help me brief am....


Na beg I beg ooo....
Crime / Re: BADAGRY: 48-year-old Man Hands Over Family To Son, Commits Suicide by kollisin(m): 7:22am On Oct 25, 2016
Where him picture
Nigeria sha.....
Hahahahaha.......

48years old....
Politics / Re: Justice Ofili-ajumogobia Wired $900k To Foreign Bank Accounts In Two Years- EFCC by kollisin(m): 7:19am On Oct 25, 2016
Hahahahahahaha
It is only in nigeria where the leader uses their country fund to develop another country.....




Just remembering ma role model.....

31 Likes 5 Shares

Jokes Etc / Re: 40 Robert Mugabe Quotes That Will Make Your Day by kollisin(m): 7:13am On Oct 25, 2016
31. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.

32. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first.

33. South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. Yet they can stone to death a black man simply because he’s a foreigner.

34. What is the problem? We now have aeroplanes which can take them back quicker than the ships used by their ancestors.

35. Mr Bush, Mr. Blair and now Mr Brown's sense of human rights precludes our people's right to their God-given resources, which in their view must be controlled by their kith and kin. I am termed dictator because I have rejected this supremacist view and frustrated the neo-colonialists.

36. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.

37. A brave man is he who has a running stomach and still wants to flatulate.

38. Journalist: Sir don't you think 89 years would be a great time to retire as a President.
Mugabe: Have you ever asked the Queen this question or is it just for African leaders?

39. Interviewer: Mr President, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell?
Robert: Where are they going?

40. My dear ladies, please don't buy a selfie stick when your armpit itself needs a shaving stick

Jokes Etc / 40 Robert Mugabe Quotes That Will Make Your Day by kollisin(m): 7:12am On Oct 25, 2016
40 Alleged Quotes From President Robert Mugabe That Will Make Your Day

By MG



1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father.

2. Dear ladies, If your boyfriend didn't wish you a happy mother's day or sing sweet mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.

3. He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in his anus.

4. Dear sisters, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining, because you are not an umbrella.

5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool.

6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to call those things "your breasts", It's called COW BELL, OUR MILK! - Repeat after me, OUR MILK!

7. It's hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

8. All I hear always is, 'No sex before marriage?' If that was God's plan, then you would receive your joystick or vagina on your wedding day.

9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY.

10. Men sucking lady's breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady's sucking men's d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it from?

11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a 'girlfriend'.

12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take a goat as a friend.

13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still single, you are not different from a Canopy.

14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face.

15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.

16. Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking around with evidence that you've had sex.

17. Some of the girls of today can't even jog for 5 minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade.

18. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3 girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.

19. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a "broke" man who's extremely good in bed.

20. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl who cannot jog for 5 minutes expects a 40 year old man to last for 1 hour in bed.



21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever; because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.

22. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts will suffer the most.

23. When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's soup gets suspicious.

24. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn't drill.

25. Even Satan wasn't gay, he approached Unclad Eve instead of Unclad Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.

26. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.

27. It is every man's dream to remove a woman's pant one day but NOT when it's on a drying line.

28. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there's nothing as such any-longer because it'll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares!"

29. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.

30. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each others’ phones because they’re private.

1 Like

Jokes Etc / Re: 40 Roberg Mugabe Quotes That Will Make Your Day by kollisin(m): 2:18pm On Oct 24, 2016
31. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.

32. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first.

33. South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. Yet they can stone to death a black man simply because he’s a foreigner.

34. What is the problem? We now have aeroplanes which can take them back quicker than the ships used by their ancestors.

35. Mr Bush, Mr. Blair and now Mr Brown's sense of human rights precludes our people's right to their God-given resources, which in their view must be controlled by their kith and kin. I am termed dictator because I have rejected this supremacist view and frustrated the neo-colonialists.

36. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.

37. A brave man is he who has a running stomach and still wants to flatulate.

38. Journalist: Sir don't you think 89 years would be a great time to retire as a President.
Mugabe: Have you ever asked the Queen this question or is it just for African leaders?

39. Interviewer: Mr President, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell?
Robert: Where are they going?

40. My dear ladies, please don't buy a selfie stick when your armpit itself needs a shaving stick
Jokes Etc / 40 Roberg Mugabe Quotes That Will Make Your Day by kollisin(m): 2:09pm On Oct 24, 2016
40 Alleged Quotes From President Robert Mugabe That Will Make Your Day

By MG



1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father.

2. Dear ladies, If your boyfriend didn't wish you a happy mother's day or sing sweet mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.

3. He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in his anus.

4. Dear sisters, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining, because you are not an umbrella.

5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool.

6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to call those things "your breasts", It's called COW BELL, OUR MILK! - Repeat after me, OUR MILK!

7. It's hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

8. All I hear always is, 'No sex before marriage?' If that was God's plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.

9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY.

10. Men sucking lady's breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady's sucking men's d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it from?

11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a 'girlfriend'.

12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take a goat as a friend.

13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still single, you are not different from a Canopy.

14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face.

15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.

16. Respect pregnant women because it's not easy walking around with evidence that you've had sex.

17. Some of the girls of today can't even jog for 5 minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you for 2 hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one week crusade.

18. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3 girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.

19. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a "broke" man who's extremely good in bed.

20. Witchcraft is when a 24 year old girl who cannot jog for 5 minutes expects a 40 year old man to last for 1 hour in bed.



21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever; because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.

22. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts will suffer the most.

23. When one's goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour's soup gets suspicious.

24. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn't drill.

25. Even Satan wasn't gay, he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.

26. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.

27. It is every man's dream to remove a woman's pant one day but NOT when it's on a drying line.

28. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there's nothing as such any-longer because it'll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes & for Lorry fares!"

29. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.

30. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each others’ phones because they’re private.

Romance / Re: What Is The First Thing To Say To The Girl You Want To Date? by kollisin(m): 8:40pm On Jul 27, 2016
Hmm speechless
Romance / Re: What Is The First Thing To Say To The Girl You Want To Date? by kollisin(m): 7:43pm On Jul 24, 2016
Am over 22 and she is 18+ too
Romance / What Is The First Thing To Say To The Girl You Want To Date? by kollisin(m): 12:40pm On Jul 24, 2016
This gal recently living in MA area. She got a sweet physique nice face but too religious. Please don't know what to tell her I'm having sleepless night. In her presence I am kinda weak unable to look her eye ball to eye ball like someone is holding gun and saying if you raise your head I am going to kill you...... please what did you say to your Gf when about to woo hee?
Romance / What Is The First Thing To Say To The Girl You Want To Date? by kollisin(m): 12:03pm On Jul 24, 2016
This gal recently living in MA area. She got a sweet physique nice face but too religious. Please don't know what to tell her I'm having sleepless night. In her presence I am kinda weak unable to look her eye ball to eye ball like someone is holding gun and saying if you raise your head I am going to kill you...... please what did you say to your Gf when about to woo hee?
Romance / What Is The First Thing To Say To The Girl You Want To Date? by kollisin(m): 9:38am On Jul 24, 2016
This gal recently living in MA area. She got a sweet physique nice face but too religious. Please don't know what to tell her I'm having sleepless night. In her presence I am kinda weak unable to look her eye ball to eye ball like someone is holding gun and saying if you raise your head I am going to kill you...... please what did you say to your Gf when about to woo hee?
Nairaland / General / Re: Photos: Meet Nigeria's Strongest Man by kollisin(m): 10:43am On May 28, 2016
Oga come ajegunle make u come c man dem....
Jokes Etc / Make Someone Laugh by kollisin(m): 10:36am On May 28, 2016
A professor was travelling by boat,on their way
he asked
the sailor ‘Do u know Biology? Ecology?
Zoology?
Embryology?
Epidemology?
‘NO’ said the sailor.
Prof got angry and said
‘what the hell
do u know?
You will die of illetracy.
One hour later the boat started sinking.
The sailor looked at
prof and ask, Prof do u knw Swiminology and
Escapeology from Sharkology?
‘NO’ said the Prof.
Well that means Crocodileology will eat your
Headology
and u will Dielogy with your Knowledgeology
because of
your Mouthology.
Lol see how all of them is lookingnology as if all the grammalogy that
has been speakinology is correctology, lol use ur brainology and share
the postology and put smilelogy on someone's faceology and
addology to the postogoly & don't 4get to
Like thisology

1 Like 1 Share

Politics / Re: Why Nigerians Can’t Pronounce “nigeria” Correctly by kollisin(m): 7:17am On Mar 20, 2016
Ehya sorry cheesy
Politics / Re: Photos From Joseph Yobo's World Press Conference Ahead Of Testimonial Match by kollisin(m): 2:17pm On Mar 08, 2016
Proudly Nigeria
Phones / Re: There Are Fake Versions Of Infinix HOT 2 In Nigerian Market by kollisin(m): 7:30pm On Mar 03, 2016
Dis[/color] is lagos[color=#550000]
Family / Re: Pics: Funny: Mothers, when you leave Your Babies alone With Their Dads. by kollisin(m): 7:26pm On Mar 03, 2016
Mtcheeeeew[color=#000099][/color][i][/i]
Religion / Re: ATM Mobile Sets Spotted In Church (photo) by kollisin(m): 5:15pm On Feb 29, 2016
Drabeey:
I will be back

And back i was..


While no apologies reserved, i cant but say im siyesteredly disappointed by this movement. It gave me myraid of migraine to see churches turning into business poles.
Infact, churches and mosque owners cn be easily be called business morguls.

Sitty sitty kitty catty, shall we till tge judgement sway and no ballymanny shall be left untouched.


Anyways...



DrabeeyWasHere





Na only churches please

1 Like

Education / Yabatech 2015/2016 Merit List by kollisin(m): 8:37pm On Feb 10, 2016
Please i applied for yabatech full time . But apart from catchment i have not hear anything about the list again..... please if you know anything helpful news please....
Politics / Re: UAE Government Releases List Of Nigerian Politicians With Properties In Dubai by kollisin(m): 6:50pm On Jan 21, 2016
Tchai
Career / Re: What Kind Of Christmas Gift Can One Give To His Boss Who Has Almost Everything? by kollisin(m): 3:07pm On Dec 16, 2015
Give am one funny thing
Phones / Re: Phone Engineers On Nairaland Willing To Assist You - Part II by kollisin(m): 8:07pm On Dec 10, 2015
How to hard reset tecno m3 v2.3.5 pls

Phones / Re: My Phone Is Dead! Please Help by kollisin(m): 7:49pm On Nov 22, 2015
Go buay am

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