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Nairaland / General / Re: What Does It Take To Make Front Page On Nairaland by Kujo(m): 10:01am On May 02, 2019
anthonyuncle:
write anything in ur mind,

put da word "snake" in da title,

upload da picture of a snake in da content,

and fiam! u'll see urself in front page



I have done that before and it was real sef, not fake
Nairaland / General / What Does It Take To Make Front Page On Nairaland by Kujo(m): 9:02pm On May 01, 2019
I have been creating some posts for sometime now but none has made front page. So that's why I want to know what are the criteria for a post to make front page.

Please Honorable moderator or those who hs been making front page let enlighten us
Nairaland / General / This Part Of Agbara Market Always Catches Fire Once Every Year by Kujo(m): 6:40am On Apr 26, 2019
this market is located at the boundary between ogun state and lagos state along badagry express way. there is a section in the market that always catches fire at least once every year, except last year of which a running trailer rams into the market but this year and previous years this fire incidents always occur.
do you think something is attached to it. this fact is verifiable.
here is a video of this year fire incident in the market which occurred in the midnight of 23/04/2019

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3iJu2bRswE&t=1s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3iJu2bRswE&t=1s
Business / Re: What Do I Need To Do Before Giving My Motorcycle Out For Weekly Delivery by Kujo(m): 4:08pm On Oct 08, 2017
nnamdiokere45:
he has to sign an undertaken
Thanks but please do you have a sample
Business / What Do I Need To Do Before Giving My Motorcycle Out For Weekly Delivery by Kujo(m): 11:47am On Oct 08, 2017
Please I need advice, I'm about to give out my motorcycle for weekly delivery at the week my client Will deliver the agreed amount but before I do that I would love to know what and how to prepare an agreement document and I don't know how to go about it.
Food / Re: Mirinda, Lucozade Unsafe For Consumption – CPC by Kujo(m): 6:40pm On Apr 13, 2017
false news, this is a plot to tarnish the brand lucozade, i work in the company that produces lucozade and we don't use the so called material ( Benzoic acid)

1 Like

Education / Re: Which University Has The Highest Rate Of Cultism In Nigeria? by Kujo(m): 2:24pm On Mar 28, 2016
HrmOlolade:
Uniben, lasu, Mapoly, kwara poly, offa poly, osun state poly iree, unibadan, coed esa oke, ilaropoly

U know something no mind all these people wey never waka, just dey shout unibe iniben

1 Like

Nairaland / General / 40 Things I've Learned About Being Happier by Kujo(m): 6:49pm On Mar 23, 2016
hello everyone i got this from a newsletter and thought its worth sharing, enjoy

1. It's really all about love.

2. One sweater you really like is better than five sweaters you kinda sorta like and bought because they were on sale.

3. Don’t wait for any one human to give you all the care and love you crave. No one can be your all, but some people can be your a lot. Cherish them.

4. Stop trying to be fearless. If you’re trying and learning, you will feel fear. It’s OK. Feel it, and do it anyway.

5. Read the entire recipe before you start cooking.

6. Failure hurts and it sucks. But your greatest learning and triumph may often come from failure, as long as you remember that failure is not a state of being, but an occurrence on a path.

7. Most things are better after a good night of sleep.

8. Don’t save your nice dishes, nice clothes, nice shoes for a special occasion. Every day you’re alive is a special occasion, so use the good stuff!

9. When in doubt, go for a walk.

10. You can only change yourself. Not other people, not relationships, just you. If you want to change anything — including the world — start within yourself.

11. Be. Here. Now. Don't rob yourself of living today because you're lost in yesterday or leaning into tomorrow.

12. One spoon of the real stuff is better than one cup of the low-fat stuff.

13. Happiness is not the absence of negative emotions. You’re not failing at happiness because you feel sad or angry. Let yourself feel what you feel, but don’t lose sight of the little moments of warmth, kindness, or beauty that are always there, even if you have to wipe away your tears to see them.

14. See more art. Make more art. All kinds of art, even art you don’t like. Escape into it with your whole soul.

15. Sweat the small stuff that makes you even the tiniest bit happier: Fill your shelves with books you love. Rush to the farmer’s market for the season’s first strawberries. Buy pens you like to write with. Move your desk to catch the morning sun. These make up the texture of your life.

16. Creating a process works better than setting a goal. “Every day at 8am I will go for a walk,” is a lot more useful than “I’m going to walk 100 miles this month.”

17. You. Are. Enough. You are lovable and amazing and deserving of true genuine happiness exactly the way you are. You don’t have to do anything more to earn it. You’re a being, not a doing.

18. People care a lot less about what you do or how you look like than you think. Mostly we’re all focused on ourselves, so stop worrying about perceptions and live your life.

19. You experience 100% of the emotions you give to others. If you feel angry at someone, you experience anger. If you experience kindness, you feel kind.

20. It’s OK to have a mess of a day. Sometimes you actually do need to eat too much, watch too much TV, and hide under the covers away from it all.

21. If you do something and it makes you feel spectacular, don’t ignore that feeling. It’s the universe trying to tell you: This thing you just did? Do it more often. Yes, this applies to what you do for work, too.

22. Be more honest. Being vulnerable doesn’t make you weak, it makes you real. Be real. It’s a gift not just to yourself, but to everyone around you.

23. You are not your thoughts. You are not your feelings. They are part of you, but not the entirety of you. Learn to be aware of them rather than become them.

24. Make things with your hands as often as you can. Cook, paint, plant, play an instrument, anything. You’ll get a break from living in your head.

25. When you’re having a horrid day, even the tiniest achievements feel amazing. Clean your desk, do a handstand, write things down on your to-do list, which you’ve already accomplished.

26. Be intentionally kind and expect nothing in return.

27. Give up your ideas of how something should be. Life is unfolding as it is, and you have a choice to either be awake to how it is and go from there or suffer wishing it were different.

28. Most things taste a lot better right out of the container: Ice cream, milk, sardines.

29. Find time for stillness and silence every day. Don’t be afraid of spending some time alone. Alone = ALL ONE.

30. The greatest moments in a friendship often come when you text a friend and say: “Hey, I’m feeling awful and I need you.”

31. One of the hardest things to do is to forgive. The hardest thing to do is to forgive yourself. Keep trying.

32. Travel more and often. This may be one of the only ways to buy happiness with money. Also, take time to travel on your own. You’ll discover more about yourself than the places you visit.

33. Break your own rules as often as possible. Try spicy food even if you’re “not into spicy food”. Wear something bright if you usually wear black. Read things “you’re normally not into”. Give yourself freedom to explore.

34. Take care of yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s your responsibility to the people you love. There’s no glory in being a martyr.

35. Bright red lipstick is pretty much always the answer.

36. The greatest gift your kids give you is the ability to experience unconditional love.

37. Never be too busy for a hug. Or too grumpy. Or too proud.

38. Just because you can’t see it right now, doesn’t mean the path is not there. Keep taking steps.

39. If you have to force it — an idea, a piece of writing, a job, a relationship, a shoe — it’s not meant to be. Working hard and forcing something are two different things. Learn the difference.

40. It’s all really about love. Not romantic love, not any specific kind of love, just LOVE. It’s within you. Find it. Nurture it. Share it. Grow it. Swim in it. It’s always the right answer, although sometimes you’ll have a hard time seeing it. Keep looking.

Have an awesome day!

reference
Nataly
Happier co-founder & CEO
Religion / Re: Is The Bible Encouraging Bribe? Mathew 5 Vs 25 by Kujo(m): 1:22am On Mar 23, 2016
ElCount:
How does this verse encourage bribe please be wise and don't twist the word of God.
Exodus 23:8- "take no bribes, for for a bribe makes you ignore something that you clearly see. A bribe makes even a righteous person twist the truth" that's what the bible says about bribe

Nothing confuse me more than bible,
Religion / Re: Is The Bible Encouraging Bribe? Mathew 5 Vs 25 by Kujo(m): 8:31pm On Mar 21, 2016
sonOfLucifer:

holy spirit aka the voice in your head aka you aka you giving yourself an interpretation and claiming it's the Holy Spirit. Lmao.

nice bro, tell them
Religion / Is The Bible Encouraging Bribe? Mathew 5 Vs 25 by Kujo(m): 8:09pm On Mar 21, 2016
can someone please explain what the bible is trying to say in the book of mathew 5 vs 25

New International Version
"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.

King James Bible
Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.
Politics / Re: The Most Industrialised State In Nigeria by Kujo(m): 7:02pm On Jan 03, 2016
TedBaker:
Ogun keh? Na only ottah farm dey dere ooo. Meanwhile biafrauds go jst dey yarn anyhow, bcoz deir states no dominate d list.

You nah know anything
Health / How To Overcome Stress by Kujo(m): 6:52pm On Dec 21, 2015
I found this online and thought i should share it.

What is stress management?
We all respond to stress differently so, there’s no “one size fits all” solution to managing stress. But if you feel like the stress in your life is out of control, it’s time to take action. Stress management can teach you healthier ways to cope with stress, help you reduce its harmful effects, and prevent stress from spiraling out of control again in the future.
No matter how powerless you may feel in the face of stress, you still have control over your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems. Stress management involves changing the stressful situation when you can, changing your reaction when you can’t, taking care of yourself, and making time for rest and relaxation. The first step is to recognize the true sources of stress in your life.
What are the sources of stress in your life?

Start a stress journal
A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:
• What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure)
• How you felt, both physically and emotionally
• How you acted in response
• What you did to make yourself feel better
It’s easy to identify sources of stress following a major life event such as changing jobs, moving home, or losing a loved one, but pinpointing the sources of everyday stress can be more complicated. It’s all too easy to overlook your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that contribute to your stress levels. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines, but maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that is causing the stress.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:
• Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
• Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”)?
• Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?
Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.
How do you currently cope with stress?
Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.
Unhealthy ways of coping with stress
These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:
• Smoking
• Drinking too much
• Bingeing on junk or comfort food
• Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer
• Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities • Using pills or drugs to relax
• Sleeping too much
• Procrastinating
• Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems
• Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence)
Learning healthier ways to manage stress
If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.
Stress management strategy #1: Get moving
Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress, but you don’t have to be an athlete or spend hours in a gym to experience the benefits. Just about any form of physical activity can help relieve stress and burn away anger, tension, and frustration. Exercise releases endorphins that boost your mood and make you feel good, and it can also serve as a valuable distraction to your daily worries.
While the maximum benefit comes from exercising for 30 minutes or more, you can start small and build up your fitness level gradually. Short, 10-minute bursts of activity that elevate your heart rate and make you break out into a sweat can help to relieve stress and give you more energy and optimism. Even very small activities can add up over the course of a day. The first step is to get yourself up and moving. Here are a few easy ways:
• Put on some music and dance around
• Take your dog for a walk
• Walk or cycle to the grocery store
• Use the stairs at home or work rather than an elevator
• Park your car in the farthest spot in the lot and walk the rest of the way
• Pair up with an exercise partner and encourage each other as you workout
• Play ping-pong or an activity-based video game with your kids
Managing stress with regular exercise
Once you’re in the habit of being physically active, try to incorporate regular exercise into your daily schedule. Activities that are continuous and rhythmic—and require moving both your arms and your legs—are especially effective at relieving stress. Walking, running, swimming, dancing, cycling, tai chi, and aerobic classes are good choices.
Pick an activity you enjoy, so you’re more likely to stick with it. Instead of continuing to focus on your thoughts while you exercise, make a conscious effort to focus on your body and the physical (and sometimes emotional) sensations you experience as you’re moving. Adding this mindfulness element to your exercise routine will help you break out of the cycle of negative thoughts that often accompanies overwhelming stress. Focus on coordinating your breathing with your movements, for example, or notice how the air or sunlight feels on your skin. Getting out of your head and paying attention to how your body feels is also the surest way to avoid picking up an injury.
When you’ve exercised, you’ll likely find it easier to put other stress management techniques to use, including reaching out to others and engaging socially.
Stress management strategy #2: Engage socially

Reach out and build relationships
• Reach out to a colleague at work
• Help someone else by volunteering
• Have lunch or coffee with a friend
• Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly
• Accompany someone to the movies or a concert
• Call or email an old friend
• Go for a walk with a workout buddy
• Schedule a weekly dinner date
• Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club
• Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach
Social engagement is the quickest, most efficient way to rein in stress and avoid overreacting to internal or external events that you perceive as threatening. There is nothing more calming to your nervous system than communicating with another human being who makes you feel safe and understood. This experience of safety—as perceived by your nervous system—results from nonverbal cues that you hear, see and feel.
The inner ear, face, heart, and stomach are wired together in the brain, so socially interacting with another person face-to-face—making eye contact, listening in an attentive way, talking—can quickly calm you down and put the brakes on defensive stress responses like “fight-or-flight.” It can also release hormones that reduce stress, even if you’re unable to alter the stressful situation itself. Of course, it’s not always realistic to have a pal close by to lean on when you feel overwhelmed by stress, but by building and maintaining a network of close friends you can improve your resiliency to life’s stressors. On the flip side, the more lonely and isolated you are, the greater your vulnerability to stress.
Reach out to family and friends and connect regularly in person. The people you talk to don’t have to be able to fix your stress; they just need to be good listeners. Opening up is not a sign of weakness and it won’t make you a burden to others. In fact, most friends will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, and it will only strengthen your bond. And remember, it’s never too late to build new friendships and improve your support network.
Stress management strategy #3: Avoid unnecessary stress
While stress is an automatic response from your nervous system, some stressors arise at predictable times—your commute to work, a meeting with your boss, or family gatherings, for example. When handling such predictable stressors, you can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose in any given scenario, it’s helpful to think of the four A's: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Avoid the stressor
It’s not healthy to avoid a stressful situation that needs to be addressed, but you may be surprised by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.
• Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress. Distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts” and, when possible, say “no” to taking on too much.
• Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life, limit the amount of time you spend with that person, or end the relationship.
• Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn off the TV. If traffic makes you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.
Stress management strategy #4: Alter the situation
If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.
• Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. If something or someone is bothering you, be more assertive and communicate your concerns in an open and respectful way. If you’ve got an exam to study for and your chatty roommate just got home, say up front that you only have five minutes to talk. If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the stress will increase.
• Be willing to compromise. When you ask someone to change their behavior, be willing to do the same. If you both are willing to bend at least a little, you’ll have a good chance of finding a happy middle ground.
• Manage your time better. Poor time management can cause a lot of stress. But if you plan ahead and make sure you don’t overextend yourself, you’ll find it easier to stay calm and focused.
Stress management strategy #5: Adapt to the stressor
How you think can have a profound effect on your stress levels. Each time you think a negative thought about yourself, your body reacts as if it were in the throes of a tension-filled situation. Regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude to stressful situations.
• Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Rather than fuming about a traffic jam, look at it as an opportunity to pause and regroup, listen to your favorite radio station, or enjoy some alone time.
• Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Ask yourself how important it will be in the long run. Will it matter in a month? A year? Is it really worth getting upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
• Adjust your standards. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Stop setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. Set reasonable standards for yourself and others, and learn to be okay with “good enough.”
Stress management strategy #6: Accept the things you can’t change
Many sources of stress are unavoidable. You can’t prevent or change stressors, such as the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or a national recession. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept things as they are. Acceptance may be difficult, but in the long run, it’s easier than railing against a situation you can’t change.
• Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control—particularly the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing out over them, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to problems.
• Look for the upside. When facing major challenges, try to look at them as opportunities for personal growth. If your own poor choices contributed to a stressful situation, reflect on them and learn from your mistakes.
• Learn to forgive. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world and that people make mistakes. Let go of anger and resentments. Free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.
Stress management strategy #7: Make time for fun and relaxation
Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors.
Develop a "stress relief toolbox"

Come up with a list of healthy ways to relax and recharge. Try to implement one or more of these ideas each day, even if you're feeling good.
• Go for a walk
• Spend time in nature
• Call a good friend
• Play a competitive game of tennis or racquetball
• Write in your journal
• Take a long bath
• Light scented candles • Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea
• Play with a pet
• Work in your garden
• Get a massage
• Curl up with a good book
• Listen to music
• Watch a comedy
Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.
• Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
• Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
• Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.
Stress management strategy #8: Adopt a healthy lifestyle
In addition to regular exercise, there are other healthy lifestyle choices that can increase your resistance to stress.
• Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.
• Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, you’ll feel more relaxed and you’ll sleep better.
• Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.
• Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.
Stress management self-help checklist
Use this checklist to track your progress using these strategies to manage stress. Compare how you feel on days when you make lots of ticks on the checklist to those when you make few or none.
Business / Re: [photo] Westminister Market In Apapa On Fire by Kujo(m): 10:29am On Dec 19, 2015
Yeeeeeeeeeeee that place wey oil company full
Nairaland / General / Re: Killed A Snake And Took A Selfie With It by Kujo(m): 12:16pm On Nov 29, 2015
adonbilivit:
op, u just made a record. first guy to ever take a selfie with a snake.

Yeah clap for me.
Nairaland / General / Re: Killed A Snake And Took A Selfie With It by Kujo(m): 12:15pm On Nov 29, 2015
estyvino:
Haba op, yu still wan eat that small snake wey small like idiide

Haba bro did I say I ate the snake.. Take time o
Nairaland / General / Killed A Snake And Took A Selfie With It by Kujo(m): 10:49am On Nov 29, 2015
Sunday morning got up late and said to myself let me get some pawpaw from the pawapaw tree outside before I wash clothes, while making my way towards the tree the slippersf on my left foot pulled off though it wasn't mine, it was over sized so I took a step back to get it only to realise I just steped on a snake.

I ran for a cutlass came back killed the escaping snake and took a selfie with it.
Then I plucked the pawpaw and the picked up a snail beside the pawpaw tree and then I thought to myself how can I thank GOD for this because I didn't go to church today, then I used the pawpaw and the snail as a thnksgiving offering to God before eating the pawpawam

Nairaland / General / Killed A Snake And Took A Selfie With It by Kujo(m): 10:43am On Nov 29, 2015
Sunday morning got up late and said to myself let me get some pawpaw from the pawapaw tree outside before I wash clothes, while making my way towards the tree the slippersf on my left foot pulled off though it wasn't mine, it was over sized so I took a step back to get it only to realise I just steped on a snake.

I ran for a cutlass came back killed the escaping snake and took a selfie with it.
Then I plucked the pawpaw and the picked up a snail beside the pawpaw tree and then I thought to myself how can I thank GOD for this because I didn't go to church today, then I used the pawpaw and the snail as a thnksgiving offering to God before eating the pawpawam

Crime / Re: Paris Shooting : ISIS Mentions Nigeria by Kujo(m): 6:08pm On Nov 15, 2015
politricks:
I dont understand what they meantWhether you like it or not, islam has come to stay and there is nothing you can do about it.

Everybody should try and read this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/2736961/jihad-terrorism-suicide-bombing-classical

Dam u
Career / Your Experience On Jobs Without Job Description by Kujo(m): 8:24pm On Nov 11, 2015
I have had different experience on different jobs especially the ones without Job description. I have worked as a machine operator but I was been used by the team leader for some many unofficial jobs like picking of product on the floor all over the factory.

I have also worked in a wharehouse as a finished goods assistance without any job description, I was used for various anoying task even cleaning and loading of trucks.

I know nairalanders would have lots of exeperience to share. Experience is the best teacher they say, so let's share and teach others.
Crime / Re: Sad Photos! New Born Baby Found In A Polythene Bag In Akwa Ibom by Kujo(m): 6:22pm On Sep 25, 2015
What a cruel world
Nairaland / General / Re: Nairaland/General Section Chatroom by Kujo(m): 5:43pm On Sep 25, 2015
I NEED A GOD FAERING NICE GIRL
Religion / The Only MAN In The World That Does Not Complain by Kujo(m): 9:17am On Sep 20, 2015
Hello brethren let me give you a goodnews this sunday morning somebody shout Alelu.

*If you keep on telling people about something you don't know they will hate you

*tell them about yourself they'll say you are boasting. They won't like you

*tell the about somebody, they'll call you a gosip, they won't love.

Let me tell you about somebody who doesn't care when you tell people about his Name. I've got him he's mine he's in my heart everyday. I've Got JAH.

I was a gambler, I was a killer doing all the bad things that you can think of, but the ALMIGHTY GOD looked down and have mercy on me. I've got JAH he's mine he's in my heart everyday.

Thank you Lucky Dube.
Happy Sunday brethren.
Nairaland / General / 10 Reasons Why You Should NOT Lend Money To Friends & Family by Kujo(m): 2:18pm On Apr 16, 2015
“Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” These famous words came from Polonius, Shakespeare’s chief counselor to King Claudius in Hamlet. As Polonius gives some fatherly advice to his son Laertes, Shakespeare gives some timeless advice to us: Do not lend money to friends.
Why shouldn’t we lend money to friends and family? Polonius answers that in his next line: “For loan oft loses both itself and friend.” Polonius knew that a loan to a friend or family member often results in the loss of both the money and the relationship.
In fact, loans between family members or friends can result in an entirely unexpected set of problems. Consider the following 10 reasons not to lend money to friends and family, and some tips to help you with damage control if you do agree to loan money.
Why You Shouldn’t Lend Money to Family & Friends
I have lent money to friends and family members and borrowed money from family members and friends, and neither situation worked out very well.


I learned a lot from both experiences. Most importantly, I learned that I’ll never loan money to friend or family member again, for the reasons outlined here. If you’ve already decided to loan money to someone close to you, here are some tips to help you mitigate some potential areas for communication breakdowns:
1. Open-ended Loans
Loans to family and friends tend to be open-ended. The parties don’t reach an agreement for a timeline for repayments, and don’t include interest on the loan. Lenders don’t know when their money will be returned, and borrowers don’t know when to repay the loans.
This leaves both parties in limbo, and doesn’t set any expectations. The uncertainty can lead to stress as the borrower may worry that the lender expects payment and the lender worries about when he or she will be repaid. When I loaned money to a family member, it delayed my decision to buy a house.
Pro Tip: If you must lend money to a family member or friend, provide them with a timeline and a schedule for repaying the loan. The timeline provides a final deadline for total repayment of the loan and the schedule provides them with guidelines for making monthly payments. For example, “John, I’m happy to lend this money to you, but I’ll need the money repaid by December 31st. If you can pay me $200 every month, the loan will be paid off by the end of December.”
2. Loans Are Not a Priority
With an open-ended loan, the borrower may not realize that there is a sense of urgency to repay the loan. Without a deadline, repaying the loan becomes the borrower’s last priority. The borrower won’t face any repercussions for not repaying the loan, like late payments, higher interest fees, or a negative impact on a credit score. Without the threat of penalties, the borrower has no motivation to take the loan seriously or to put any urgency around repaying it.
Pro Tip: Talk with your friend or family member and let him or her know that repaying this loan needs to become a priority. Set a deadline for repayment to avoid any misunderstandings.
3. It’s Difficult to Ask for the Money Back
It can be difficult to request repayment of a loan from a friend or family member. More than likely, the lender cares about the borrower, and doesn’t want the borrower to feel awkward. The lender may continue to worry about loan repayment, and thus shut down some or all communications with the borrower in order to avoid talking about the loan. The borrower becomes confused and hurt feelings can result.
Pro Tip: If you have already lent money to a friend or family member and struggle with asking for the money, take the time to talk to the borrower to resolve the situation. When I had a difficult time talking to my family member about paying back a loan, I offered gentle reminders about the loan instead of asking direct questions. This made the discussions easier and less threatening.
4. It Can Make Family Gatherings Awkward
I have loaned money to a family member, and I have also borrowed money from a family member. In both scenarios, family get-togethers were very awkward. I felt uncomfortable being around the person who loaned me money. It was also uncomfortable to be around other family members who knew about the loans.
No one wants to talk about the loan or about money or even about anything that costs money, because then people might wonder why someone hasn’t repaid the loan.
Pro Tip: You and the other party came to a private agreement about the loan. Neither party should feel uncomfortable, but if family gatherings seem awkward, keep things lighthearted and steer conversations away from money.
5. The Borrower Becomes a Servant to the Lender
The book of Proverbs in the Bible claims that the borrower becomes a servant to the lender (Proverbs 22:7.) This is exactly how I felt when I borrowed money. I felt that I had to please my lender and do everything that he suggested. I felt like I could not oppose this person in any way.
Pro Tip: As a lender, I didn’t think of my borrower as a servant to me, and I certainly didn’t want my borrower to feel that way. If you think the borrower feels subjugated, try to help ease his or her discomfort.



6. The Borrower May Ask for More
Once you have lent money to a friend or family member, this person may return when he or she needs more money. In addition, other friends and family members may also ask you for a loan.
Pro Tip: Don’t become the go-to lender in your circle of family and friends. You should never be in a state of constant lending.
7. You Enable Instead of Help Your Friend or Family Member
When you lend money to friends or family members, you give them an easy way out of their financial problems, instead of helping them work through their issues.
For example, your cousin may ask for some money to pay off her credit card bill, but she needs help learning how to make a budget. In that situation, refuse the loan, but offer to help your cousin create a budget or to look for alternative forms of income.
Pro Tip: Put your friends or family members in a position that improves their financial situation as well as their understanding of money management in order to truly help them.
8. These Types of Loans Don’t Earn Interest
Loaning money to friends and family costs you money. Most likely, you won’t charge interest if you give a loan to a loved one. I neither paid interest nor charged interest on my family loans. If you could invest the money that you lent to friends and family members, even through peer-to-peer lending networks like Lending Club and Prosper, you could have received interest.
Pro Tip: Charging your friends or family members interest on loans might seem awkward, but it isn’t unreasonable. Obviously, the interest rate would be much lower than the rates offered by local banks or credit card companies.
9. You Might Need the Money
You definitely want your money returned, but you may also need your money. What if you lose your job and you have no income? What if you spend your entire emergency fund while searching for a new job? What if you need to put food on the table for your kids and repayment of the loan marks the difference between you keeping your house or going into foreclosure? Not receiving repayment of the loan in a timely manner might spell disaster for you and your family.
Pro Tip: If you have any hint that you may lose your job, or that any sort of personal financial downswing is on the horizon, don’t lend money to family members or friends. Tell them honestly that you have a tenuous financial situation, and can’t spare the money.
10. You Could Lose Your Money and Relationship
As Shakespeare wrote, “For loan oft loses both itself and friend.” If you lend money to a friend or family member, beware that you may not get your money back and your relationship may never go back to normal. This will cause tension between you and the borrower, and may also cause guilt, remorse, and anger.
Pro Tip: The risk of damaging your relationship should be part of the initial discussion you have about borrowing or lending money. For example, “Kathy, I want to help, but I’ve heard horror stories about family members lending each other money. What can we do to ensure this doesn’t happen to us?”


Final Word
Even though you want to be a good person, and you want your friend or family member to love you, don’t lend him or her money if you can help it. Gently refuse the loan, and determine the best way to help your loved ones, instead of enabling them.
Sometimes loving someone involves doing something that they do not want, and they may be disappointed or mad. But if you have their best interests in mind, you can rest easier knowing you won’t jeopardize your relationship. If you can afford to loan money to a family member or friend, have an open and honest conversation to discuss any potential problems with the loan. Most of the time, issues related to these types of personal loans can be quickly resolved with a frank discussion.
Have you lent money to friends or family members? What was the experience like? Would you do it again?
Religion / Re: Sex Destroyed Me; Took Away My Luck. I Need Help by Kujo(m): 7:36am On Apr 11, 2015
Hey man, I'm in similar condition please how can I contact you. I need to know if you've got any solutions
Romance / Re: What Is The Legal Age A Boy Or Girl Must Attain Before They Can Marry? by Kujo(m): 2:01pm On Mar 14, 2015
iceberylin:
11months sad sad angry


Nlanders asking useless questionz


Just admit you're clueless grin grin cheesy lipsrsealed
Romance / What Is The Legal Age A Boy Or Girl Must Attain Before They Can Marry? by Kujo(m): 1:56pm On Mar 14, 2015
Hello guys. Please let's enlighten one another.

For me personally if a boy attains the age of 18 and the Girls 16 they can get married.

What's your oppion? Or what is the minimum age according to Law
Romance / Re: Can He Marry His Mother's Sister Daughter? by Kujo(m): 1:36pm On Mar 14, 2015
menix:
OP... Ask ur fwend to go ahead, there is nofin wrong with it.
My pple die for lack of knowledge; no b mii talk oo nah so e dey 4 bible..

Pls ask ur fwend to read Gen. 28 vs 2, there he will find out Jacob married frm d house of his mother.

Jst dat our culture doz not blive in it buh God has no issues wiv dat as d bible take talk 4 dat genesis 28.

Best responce with facts and proof

1 Like

Romance / Re: Can He Marry His Mother's Sister Daughter? by Kujo(m): 12:47pm On Mar 14, 2015
Cutehector:
No! But he can marry my sister if he has money. grin

Does your sis look like this

Romance / Can He Marry His Mother's Sister Daughter? by Kujo(m): 12:34pm On Mar 14, 2015
I have a friend who is currently dating his mother's sister daughter. That should be his cousin and they are in love like seriously in love. I'm the only one aware of this because I caught them.

So he explained everthing to me and he told me if its possible he would marry her. After all they don't share the same surname neither do theu have same father or mother.

Please guys advice. Can he open up and marry her?
Nairaland / General / What Kind Of Girls Use This Statement? by Kujo(m): 11:57am On Mar 14, 2015
Guys have you dated any girl who tells you this "I don't have female friends, all my friends are boys".

They go on to say girls are full of gossips but boys will tell you the truth and so many other excuses...

To me some of them always use that to cover up their flirting attituide with other guys.


So guys what kind of girls do you think always use that statement and for what reason

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