donbenedict:
They are all jubilating after all the millions of bad news recorded of them


Dey are like, at least, make we jolificate say people out there go remember us for one better thing.



Tomorow u will hear another serious bad news abt kenyans

When my little child misbehaves, I discipline her. When she does good, in fact, when she exceeds my expectations, I praise her. You know what happens, she does more to get the praise and recognition. So we know that 1 good thing today, 10 bad tomorrow, but celebrate each good thing, eventually there will be traction

My friend, my grandfather is actually from this place in Jamaica! It was confirmed by my grandmother a little while ago. I was reading the same article and looked through a lot of related material and noticed that this Bekuta is eerily close to where my grandpas people come from, so I looked up further and asked my grandma and she confirmed! She even described the place to me! She would definitely remember that place as a person who grew up there in the 1930s. Unfortunately, her family immigrated to Jamaica from India and she's the last surviving sibling. My grandpa is late, but she still has a very good memory and can make Yoruba style dishes! She even mixes her Indian styles into the dishes! The best thing is that my daughter's father is from Kwara state, and was quite sick one day and she made him her own version of pepper soup with bitter leafs, and he was so surprised by the taste and contents of the dish that he ate it all and was cured the next day!

ayyoshert:
I read about the Abeokuta part some years back, it is now corrupted to 'bekuta'. It was a settlement established by Enslaved Yoruba of Egba descent who were brought to Jamaica, after their freedom and obviously as they couldn't come back home, they decide to start a community like the one they left. Professor Wole Soyinka having heard of the story was too excited and decided to visit the place, himself an Egba man, he stated in his account how he saw the last surving woman who knew the history of the community. The woman told him of how she missed how people used to live communally, but most of them have passed away, how the people lived in the traditional ways, religion, food etc, the woman mentioned that all the Yoruba foods known were eaten in Bekuta. Unhappily it was said the woman talked about how things have changed, the younger generations have abandoned the older people's ways and most of them have moved away to the big city. I was deeply intrigued with the story.

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So, that's my mom's church. In fact, it's her in the first picture on the left hand side and again in the last picture at the far right in the Orange-Brown church. They've been using the jet to travel to open churches all over the Caribbean the past few months. I believe they've opened another 5-6 churches since February.

He's not my personal pastor, but I've met him. I truly believe that he is a man of God. And I have too many things personally to doubt or publicly denounce him.

The funny thing about his church is that the people there aren't desperate/poor many are business owners and make their own money. Let's not forget that in this country, we don't need God as desperately as in a third world country.

Yes, situations can be harrowing, but never desperate. We don't need God when sick, or broke, or looking for jobs etc. So the mindset here is different, people here are spiritually sick and morally corrupt.

That's not too say that miracles don't happen in situations, or aren't needed in a person's life. Hardships are a universal human condition. However, the attraction after a while in this church is about spiritual rejuvenation and being disciplined in their beliefs.

Anyway, my two cents

Seun360:
Jamaican slaves were mostly Igbos though.

Where my family is from in Westmoreland, Jamaica is an area called Sweet River. I had no idea until I happened upon a thread, and then my grandmother confirmed that my family is from Bekuta in near Sweet River. Bekuta being a broken down version of Abeokuta. Indeed, Prof. Wole Soyinka and the Nigerian ambassador came and opened the area as a heritage site. I'll find the thread and affix it

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Just tell your friend the story of Ciara, Russell Wilson and Future. Get her money, get herself sexy and out here and make sure he becomes the jealous one. He's obviously dull, and she should be thankful to God that He separated them while she is still young.

I bet he'll start loving her soon as she finds herself someone else somebody better than him. Lol men forget what they can do, women can do berra

iyke2k4:
are you married? If no, you are yet to face reality. That your dad was successful before marrying your mum, isn't an assurance yours must start that Way.

Yes, I met my husband he had a 1 bedroom flat. We moved into a 3 bedroom flat once I took in. So there's no illusion or fairytale in this story. For a family of five, we live safely and comfortably, but this isn't the jewel of success that we are aiming for.

Further more, there have been times when I covered the family expenses when he was in between jobs and starting out his own business. I'm not bragging or bashing just showing that it's possible for partners to support one another during hard times.

This assertion that I'm expecting a ready made man is bogus. If he didn't analyze my family history and my own ability to carry the family in better or worse, he wouldn't have taken me either. If I wasn't enterprising, didn't work and show myself to be a self sufficient self starter our partnership wouldn't work. Real men are drawn to hard working, emotionally grounded women.

The real fantasy is that when you get a house and cat that life is good and hustle is finished. This creates the failure to launch males we now see in life. The hustle starts when you have the house and car because now you need to leave a legacy to your offspring!

harveyspec:


Please did your grand father either maternal or paternal have a 3bedroom apartment & car before getting married ?

I ask because if you dad could have those things before marriage, most likely he came from a comfortable background, someone had to pay the price along the line!!

A level 8 graduate with the civil service whose salary is 80k per month, shouldn't get married if he is able to live within his means, just because he doesn't own his own apartment.

The Op even stressed that the apartment must be a rented one, my God!!

Car is a luxury here in this part of the world not in developed countries. Why should I buy a car when I can move around comfortably in a train?

There are folks who will never own a house or stay in a 3bedroom flats, it's not a curse but reality of life, everyone has its level

owning a house or car should NEVER be a yardstick in marriage decision (it's a nice to have but it is never a must have quality)

The keyword is living within ones means & being able to take care of someone else.

My grandfather was an orphan who lost his mother at age of 5 and his father at the age of 8, he was raised by his grandmother who passed when he was 11, so at that point he had to leave school and start out on life alone with no family.

He hustled, took a trade of carpentry and cleaning laboratories in the university lab. That's where he met my grandmother. And when he presented himself to marry her, this orphan, aged 26, amassed all his savings and took it to her parents. He paid the entire wedding and took her into his 2 bedroom flat. And he lived in a so called third world country.

They had 6 children, adopted another 5, who they paid for all their schooling. My grandfather is in his eighties now and just blessed his 27th great grandchild. So no, my family wasn't rich. But I truly believe that if one has ambition, is serious and isn't lazy, he can and will find a way... Full Stop!

Krismart:
Lecturer. And who says ladies shouldn't be made before marriage?

Lol my friend, as I said, that isn't being made. That is what any capable grown person should be able to accomplish with their own hands before marriage. Talk less of a man, who normally gets paid at least 25% more in salary than his female counterpart.

Only lazy, non ambitious and unserious men would find this expectation a real challenge or setback. We are talking about marriage here, so by extension you are talking about your future children. If your wife takes in on your honeymoon, you'll expect her to put to bed in your one room flat? Ok, have you ever gone to work after being in the same room as a crying baby? You don't even take your own health seriously lol. I pity you

And yes, my father had a 3 bedroom flat and a car when he married my mom, she gave birth to me 10 months later in a nice comfortable home. Haven both of them worked and toiled, they now own several homes and travel to the Caribbean every month with their grandchildren. That is being made. That is success, being able to do the things you want with the people you love. Being able to provide a safe and comfortable place for your family to live in is called being responsible. Learner...

adeaks:


But that's the point. The guy is working to better himself but you don't want to give him a chance. You only want someone who has already 'bettered' himself. So if I am already made and I can see that that's the main reason you are going out with me, it means I can replace you at anytime with other girls because you are not adding anything to me. You are only taking away.

Having the money saved up for a home/being able to afford a 3 bedroom flat and owning a car is being a made man to you?

Poverty is curse! Really that is being made?? That is the lowest wrung of financial/economic success. Talk less of owning a business, being a landlord. Hiring employees to help them better their lives, being able to open a charitable organization, doing business overseas etc etc.

The OP isn't yakking about being filthy rich, but being able to afford the basic amenities a middle class family should have.

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clemz85:
this is an out call challenge to we future Hubby's to learn how to man up and be in charge,

I'mma ensure I be the best man my woman ever gonnu get,

alpha-hubby in making

That's the post of the year!!!

You see there's an issue, and instead of throwing the blame around, you man up and decide to be the solution.

I'm so sure you'll do very well being the head of a home, that's how to #leadbyexample !!!

clemz85:



now I see why Alezy called you out in style, Dude knew you got small brain,

maybe just maybe #sapiosexual in play... no effence.

I'mma outta here,
peace.

How can one be sapiosexual and have a small brain? Am confused

Ok well bye

upwardmode:

OKAY, Noted. But Just to let you know, I reacted the way I did earlier primarily because your statements sounded like sarcasm... Nothing Personal, my Apologies. BTW where are you from?

No offense taken, this is a forum to air one's personal views. In any case, I'm Canadian, born and raised. My actual background is East and West Indian.

We are oceans apart and communicating via posts, so tone can definitely get muddled lol

upwardmode:
It does not matter if your are Nigerian or not...My Point is, you need to watch it... The devil does not attack Nigerian marriages n relationships alone through this means, other ignorant means exist.

I'm still confused, the OP was about wives showing more respect and even running to the pastor for problems.

I only pointed out that I don't personally have an opinion on that issue in particular add I've never confronted it, nor know someone who has. However, my opinion based on biblical respect and love can be transplanted into this dilemma, and I'm sure many others.

Anyways, I won't continue going back and forth after this. If you don't get me, you don't get me...

upwardmode:
Thank Your God that you are not married... Your attitude stinks!

Why?

I didn't disagree with the OP did I? I simply interpreted the biblical command for myself.

Ephesians 5:22-33New King James Version (NKJV)

Marriage—Christ and the Church
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,[a] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Wherein the onus is on the couple to do as the scriptures command. I just mentioned that my own culture is different than Nigeria, so we don't have the originally stated problem in our own churches.

Alezy:
Wow. ..would it be bad if i say I was blessed by this? ? Cos really all i just wanna say is thumbs up.

kindly ff baq

just wanted to add this, dnt u think showing respect n love av got something to do with each other? ? Cos somehow, for respect to come out of a man towards the woman it means he loves her. or do u tink otherwise? ?

Respect and love are interrelated, but it's the weakness of both genders. As a woman it's harder to be respectful naturally, but I'm made to love and nurture. It's intuitive. As a man, it's more difficult to actually show love to a woman, not to love but show love. Men use respect as a basis of decision making, this is why this subject really hurts. I'm persuaded to say the man I choose to marry has earned my respect BEFORE marriage. He had shown me love BEFORE we tie the knot.

Alezy:

let's not DERAIL

I'm not a derail type of person, you mentioned me for what idk...
Anyways I have no contribution to make to this subject because where I'm from, this problem doesn't exist. In fact, it's a challenge to get families to attend church.
The culture of respecting others is structured in a completely different way. Personally, I don't go around calling my pastor Daddy, my boss is my boss.

If I'm to be a married woman, my currency is love whereas my husband's own is respect. (Wives respect your husband and husbands love your wives). IMO it's easy for women to love but hard to show respect, it's easy for a man to show respect but hard to give love. So I won't go back and forth in a divisive manner.

The only obvious thing, is that it's obvious that marriage is not by force and that both partners must choose wisely. That he's a man doesn't mean that he warrant your respect. That she's a woman didn't mean she is worth your love. If you marry well, then this wouldn't be a problem.

Alezy:
@lastnogood hi

Hi??

I'm just posting an update for those who advised me over the past few months. Well, as it turns out, I was minding my business and taking care of my newborn. Until one day, I got a text message and behold the baby's father has come to claim his child. I followed my mom's suggestion and laid all animosity to rest. She told me to explain my mind set during that fateful altercation that brought about my rash decision. (There's way more that happened but I won't go into detail about my intimate life o) Anyways a good mother shows her children how to succeed in life, and I followed her directives to a tee. I apologized instead of being haughty for the benefit of the relationship between father and child.

Thanks to God that they have each other!

Acidosis:
Stop calling Jesus Christ & God. He will never heal a boyfriend/girlfriend affair. You want God to heal and reunite two unmarried s e x and kissing addicts?
Please make your points clear (as in the case of divorce for married ppl). Remember marriage is the only form of relationship recognized by God? or do you have a new Bible now?

You know what? That was a bit shortsighted. I took the OP very personally especially the part about not healing past and festering pain. You know, there are more than just marriage relationships. What about parent-child, friends etc? I can tell you, I have had some unresolved hurt in my life dealing from a traumatic parental tension in my life. And just now thinking about it, I jerked myself back from being close in relationships because I never dealt with it. So thanks @PastorEdward , your message confirms the path of healing I've been on recently.

dinachi:

Just obey God my dear, all other things will fall in place.

My God told me to embrace wisdom, he told be to test the spirit!

6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. 7 Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Proverbs 4:6-7

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world 1 John 4:1

Prevention is far better than cure my guy, I'd rather prevent being wedlock to a incompetent man, than pray and waste precious time for doing far better things to cure the failing marriage.

dinachi:

Go and read proverbs 14 Vs 1. The success or failure of a marriage depends largely on a womans attitude. That is the point the Bishop was making. But you are free to attack and abuse the Bible one day you will meet your creator and your eyes go clear.

I'm not getting what you said, are you agreeing with me or disagreeing with me? Because I believe that submission is fine, that ultimately means that if anything goes wrong it's the fault of the one she is submitting to. If I'm submitting to ny husband and he's a bad financial manager, and we go broke it's my fault? C'mon man! It's the husband to blame! He made the decision and I agree, but my attitude caused our money to be lost! Okay now

This is why it's a must that a woman has the free choice to marry who she wants. Someone who she has already judged to be a competent person. That he's a man means nothing! To my own grandmother, who even his family still calls an angel on earth especially after all she went thru, was forced to marry a pastor after her family deemed him to be the best person based on his career. But she never had a chance to review his character.