oyetpel:


It's funny na😂😂🤣

To you! you are probably nor married talkless of being in a serious relationship, you cant even align with whst up.

oyetpel:


Featuring a 50-years old Nigeria man with big dik

mumu pple

Brandiebird:


I don’t know what you want by opening this thread because you’re arguing with everyone who gives you a different perspective.

You know who you are and what you can and cannot take so follow your own path and let us rest.

I’m a jealous person and I could never be with any woman who has male friends. That shit can only happen when women are young and inexperienced in life but it has no place in a marriage imo.

A married woman with children has no business befriending any man. If you felt the same then you wouldn’t be in this situation right now. You’re a keyboard warrior so flex those muscles on her!

Lol, am not a keyboard warrior boss, just that sometimes no matter how old you are or experienced, you will still need to seek advise or get knowledge on way forward reason for this thread. You can go through my posts, I didnt argue with everyone, just those that wants to impose the unimaginable on me.

armyofone:
You have not taking time to get to know this person you are fight your madam over.
Nothing wrong asking the guy to bring his family over so you know who he is.
He might be a woman sef with male voice but see you already carried that ojuju imaginary fighting spirit to London

Relax - show support to wifey.

Lol, kobojunkie second handle. Who dey fool who. Abeg go and rest.

Kobojunkie:
1. I am afraid you didn't deduce any of that from my posts as I made it point and clear that I do not believe in asserting control over the lives of others.

2. Not saying that you did but when you assert that she must do as you command or face consequences, what do you think that implies?

3. So you do indeed see this man as a threat to your marriage then? Why not come out and say it like that instead of going around in circles making it seem you are not jealous? You feel threatened because he is a man, which is exactly what I had asked you about 3 comments ago, but you pretended that was not the case at all.

4. So, in your mind, your wife does not have good enough standards as far as meeting up with her colleagues and coursemates is concerned. You need to be the one correcting and setting that standard for her, then?

5. You don't have time to meet your wife's friend but you seem to have more than enough time to correct and craft out standards she must abide by in order to please you. You don't want to maybe get involved in understanding her life but you want to make sure that everything she does revolves around you. Are you nothing what I am seeing here at all?

Aunty abeg rest!

alphaNomega:


I for blow your head just now, but e be like say you no go school so make I leave am. In this 2023, which information wey dey library wey you not fit find for internet? Which kain olden days format be dis?

I asked her this same question, she said she doesnt know if the books can be found online, but that there is a particular material the man has with him that they need to use together and that he wouldnt release it to her. Like 10mins ago like this, the guy still call am make them meet for momo around 10am for library. I just keep quiet until that tmr.

armyofone:


The lady is working hard and should be allowed to sleep or grab help from course mates if she can. Maybe he is a team member - better to have engaging team members than one you can't get a hold of for their part.
They may be working on spreadsheet for the coming presentation and husband is upset. He should know going to college is very stressful and help madam. You don't want her to fail the course!
If you are international student and you fail/ don't meet the standard set for you, you can be sent back home - oga you too.

Lol, see sarcasm!!

Kobojunkie:
1. That's pretty much what I perceive from his posts! Imagine him suggesting he would warn his mate as though she is a ward he is to wield control over in the relationship.

2. Good idea! Get to know the guy with whom his wife is friends and all. Imagine some commentators suggesting that he alone should be best friends with his wife as if these things are by magic or something. Most of them can't even tell you what their wife's favorite color(s) is let alone her saddest moment in life, yet they want to delude OP with ideas that don't mirror reality.

You are gradually crawling out from that heated cave aided by the person you quoted. Dont be scared, just express how you feel. Nobody go beat you, I already knew how disgusted you feel based on your own selfish thought of how you feel I should act and handle the situation. With all your . I knew already that feminism isnt far from your main personality.

armyofone:


I think he shouldn't have shown his jealously right from the beginning or even made the "penis" comments.
He should have invited the older guy and his family to dinner and get to know him better. His wife may be innocent and needed the academic navigation the older guy is giving her.

What has countering an irrelevant point of trying to make me feel there can never be nothing between them jealousy? I weak! Did you read my post at all?

Make I invite older man come for dinner..lol Come do you work? Are u always busy??

Now let me clear you on your last line. It happened that my wife claimed the guy was the most intelligent guy in their class, who even charged her 2k pounds to help with her assignment. When she couldn't afford it or felt the amount was outrageous, i linked her with someone in Nija whose job is to help with assignment and he gets paid. He charged way less than what the older man charged. On the long run, the older man sef got the connect from madam and started paying the guy to do his assignment for him. So I got confused like why is the most intelligent person now paying someone else to get his ish done? So from what I was able to confirm, they just do assignments together based on paddy paddy, its not like the man is offering any help or adding extra knowledge to what they do.

Kobojunkie:
1. Here's a thing. If a person is going to cheat on you, nothing you do can stop them from doing that. Pretending you can control these things means instead that you enjoy putting undue stress on yourself for no real reason. There is a saying that if you love somebody set them free. I hold to that belief as it makes a lot of sense given that even in a relationship, we remain complete and separate individuals ---- we never lose that even in marriage --- and so we ought to use that fact to our benefit rather than pretend it is an evil that needs to be curbed as many assume.

I wouldn't like it if my partner unleashed their own monitoring side on me in my relationships so I tend not to do that to them either. If I were to meet my partner at a restaurant with another person, be it male or female, I would go over to say hi and maybe talk for a bit, if i have something important to say, and then go on about the rest of my day from there.

Marriage no suppose to be or feel like a prison. The funny thing is that for many, the moment it begins to feel like that is actually when people begin to look outside for solutions.

Well from your write up, I can deduce that ur this kind of person that feels your own perception of life and what suts you should also be the same thing that applies or should apply to every other person. Excuse me madam, life aint like that. I am a decent, respectable but a no nonsense man. Kindly state from my post what seemed like my wife is being imprisoned? Common!! you have your own rules, dont mean the same applies to me, this is my family and I have every right to protect mine when the need arises. I have never from day 1 showed or expressed any sort of ish towards their friendship, not until it started getting to some extent, and as a man with 3 kids for youkay, I have to protect my space and my family. Besides you dont even know her to know the kind of person that am dealing with.

My other answer to you now is, its a different ball game when it comes to the involvement of a man or a woman. In a situation where the man is the subject matter, it is in my best interest to see that I quickly correct and set standards that will not get my wife carried away, the said gentleman I dont know him, and I dont know his mind set, and I definitely will not trust a stranger that I have never met or get to know. You lots are talking about meeting the man, abeg na wetin i come uk come do be that? Like u guys dont know how busy it is here. If the subject matter were to be a woman, most definitely the issue wouldn't be as highlighted as it is, since I have never seen a trait of her being a lesbian in her over the last 10 years. But I definitely would complain when she starts scheduling off time for them to meet. Besides when a man starts to call my wife at odd hours and scheduling time that suits his own convenience for them to meet thereby affecting the home based on what we are suppose to do collectively is a big deal to me, might not be for u, but it is to me.

Kobojunkie:
Oh, I clearly comprehend all you wrote and it seems—this from your write up mind you— that your particular issue is that he is a man. Consider this, if the coursemate had been a woman, and your wife had had to,
* last minute, go to the library with her to study,
* been so busy on the phone with her that she didn't hear the bell ring when you were at the door
* pick up a call from her at 7:50 am in morning...
...would you be as irritated by it all as you seem to be in this case?

I have taken classes myself and I know that all you mentioned were commonplace back then as I had to shift my life and relationships in order to accommodate my course needs. So, help me clearly understand that your particular issue is not with the gender of this coursemate.

Just a quick question, if you find your husband at a restaurant with another man without u knowing were going to see them there, VS you seeing another lady with ur husband in a restaurant. Would your thoughts be the same as for the man and the woman seen with ur man? If you can answer that question, then I can properly analyze my answer.

Kobojunkie:
Your wife is taking classes and she is having to work with a classmate while at it. Your problem is that the coursemate is a man and not a woman?

I just hope comprehension isnt a problem for you here, cos I know you are an oldie on this forum. If you read through again, you would see that I specified what and what I wasn't down with, and where I expressed my concerns of not being comfortable with some certain occurrences.

Munzy14:

Dont believe what a woman says..Pay more attention to her actions.

Feelings don enter.


You are losing her..She is going going ....

As man, never give room for rubbish..protest it from day1..If you snooze, you lose.

It is hard to tell you this, start thinking of option B if she is gone..So you dont see ďivorce papers as shock.

Women are emotional humans..Feelings goes hand in hand with Emotions.

Bro I understand! I made the mistake the moment it started and I didnt lay the rules. It was based on the fct that we have been having issues with trust from nija, where she can easily say am insecure and all, am going to b4 40 this year so in a way am trying to deviate from cautioning too much when it comes to men. Trying to start having option B when am not too sure shes drifting and i get caught in the act, nor be me go lose at the end?

Munzy14:

She isnt your best friend..You are just couples making and raising babies.

50yr old man is the friend you couldnt be..Small small she will drift away.

Stop it now or activate planB.

If your wife needs a friend , it should be you..talk to her..And giv it a last warning.

In her own words, its just assignment and school stuffs. Nothing more

alphaNomega:

Which kain assigment dem no fit do via zoom or skype? Make I talk before I spoil your marriage

Oh well I asked this same question just to see what the response would be. She said par of the book to be used for the assignment was gotten from the library reason why they had to go there. Because I hear sey people dey kpansh for libra oo.

WhisperedNoise:
Chief, I'd advise you not to table your matter on Nairaland. This street is filled with children and vile entities. They'll rubbish your wife and call her all sorts of derogatory names. Please, honor the sanctity of your union.

Its not like her identity is known, and I dont care what anybody that says condescending words towards her here. My own is to listen to people that have proper advise to dish.

cococandy:
OP if you’re concerned, that’s more than enough justification to sit her down and talk to her.
Whether anything has the potential to happen between them or not is irrelevant. The fact that it makes you uncomfortable is enough reason for her to stop.

Coco, we were talking about something and I mentioned the issue to her, she was like its just assignment na, and nothing else. I didn't further the talk, am just waiting for another day when the same will be arranged then I can make my stand known.

coldzobo:
Your wife is the problem not the man.

She doesn't regard you else, she would have made it clear to the man that she is committed to her marriage and set boundaries with him

You know what they say about bestie and shifting pants ?

Act fast before it gets to that stage(that's if it hasn't already )

How to act ?
1, stop taking it lightly with her
2, pray 00:00 against the works of the devil against your home(this might sound stupid, but trust me....it works)
3, report her to people she holds in high esteem.

does she still find you attractive? No ? beef up

Good luck

Oh well there are certain things I cant do from the listed. I already have set the boundary with her, after the day she didnt hear the bell ring I told her that she needed to cut down on the calls, and yea it did, and it eas obvious,. However not until they had the library appointment.
Yes she does still find me attractive. Infact she still checks on me to see if am not toasting someone else.

phorget:
The next time you get to the dude then tell him you are not comfortable with him burging your woman,tell school discussion should be left at school and for him to be extending it outside school hours,talk to your wife about it afterwards.

I cant call the guy, even if i come across his call when he calls and shes not there to pick, i wont , it seems somehow,.

Hi guys,

Happy weekend to you all! I just moved to the UK with myself and my family in Oct last year
as my wife is doing her masters in one of the unis in london here. There is something that
in a way wasnt bothering me before, but now I seem to be bothered and based off of the fact
that this country does not allow men exercise some sort of rightful move here, I am limited
to the decisions and actions I cant make or take.

So my wife have been friends with this 50 year old course mate, they talk on the phone
for minutes, sometimes hours, I noticed she always put the call on speaker just so I could hear
the content of their discussion. This became frequent, though at a time I wasnt bothered, so one day
I asked her that do you know if I was the one that was schooling and I had a female married frien
who is 50 years old, you would have started questioning me and telling me how uncomfortable
you are with the way we always talk, she was like oh well thats true, but that as long
as it is school discussion and thats it. I was like oh well I doubt you would
mind even if you know its just assignment discussion she said oh well, she doesnt trust her
gender that she would be observant. She now said that this her classmate that nothing can
ever be between them, that he's 50, I was like when did u hear a 50year old Nigerian man does
not have penis, and that anytime they talk, she always put it on speaker so I can hear that it is only school
stuffs they talk about. I was like thats not the issue, that sometimes familiarity
breeds contempt.

To cut the long story short as to why I started feeling uncomfortable. The dude called as early as 5mins to 8am
early in the morning when we are trying to prep the kids for school, she had gone to drop the kids but her phone
was at home, I picked and told him she had gone for school runs, he quickly said oh sorry for disturbing and hung up.
Secondly, that very day, I had stepped out, on gettig back, I pressed the bell tire, so tey my hand begin dey pain me, she didnt open
the door, luckily for me the front porch door was opened so i gained entrace through there, lo and behold
she was in kitchen where the bell could be loudly heard but she was on call with this same dude
and that made her not hear me. 3rdly I had worked overnight and I got home to rest, she then told me that she needs
to get to the library, that they both have an assignment to do together, that she will be back in 2hours, I was now like
why didnt u guys plan out a time, I needed to rest and ur friend just called
without a proper timing that u should start coming. She left and I had to use sleepy eyes
to take care of the kids that morning. Now am on the verge of sitting her down and
have a dialogue with her that I have finally figured out that her close friendhsip with this person
seems not to go down well with me, I know some people will call me simp or weak man, but being very pragmatic in halding
issues like this is foremost, besides most women here seem to maturally exhibit that
sense of freedom and i can make decisions without u kinda thing, and I truly dont want to get in the way of that.

Hi guys,

Happy weekend to you all! I just moved to the UK with myself and my family in Oct last year
as my wife is doing her masters in one of the unis in london here. There is something that
in a way wasnt bothering me before, but now I seem to be bothered and based off of the fact
that this country does not allow men exercise some sort of rightful move here, I am limited
to the decisions and actions I cant make or take.

So my wife have been friends with this 50 year old course mate, they talk on the phone
for minutes, sometimes hours, I noticed she always put the call on speaker just so I could hear
the content of their discussion. This became frequent, though at a time I wasnt bothered, so one day
I asked her that do you know if I was the one that was schooling and I had a female married frien
who is 50 years old, you would have started questioning me and telling me how uncomfortable
you are with the way we always talk, she was like oh well thats true, but that as long
as it is school discussion and thats it. I was like oh well I doubt you would
mind even if you know its just assignment discussion she said oh well, she doesnt trust her
gender that she would be observant. She now said that this her classmate that nothing can
ever be between them, that he's 50, I was like when did u hear a 50year old Nigerian man does
not have penis, and that anytime they talk, she always put it on speaker so I can hear that it is only school
stuffs they talk about. I was like thats not the issue, that sometimes familiarity
breeds contempt.

To cut the long story short as to why I started feeling uncomfortable. The dude called as early as 5mins to 8am
early in the morning when we are trying to prep the kids for school, she had gone to drop the kids but her phone
was at home, I picked and told him she had gone for school runs, he quickly said oh sorry for disturbing and hung up.
Secondly, that very day, I had stepped out, on gettig back, I pressed the bell tire, so tey my hand begin dey pain me, she didnt open
the door, luckily for me the front porch door was opened so i gained entrace through there, lo and behold
she was in kitchen where the bell could be loudly heard but she was on call with this same dude
and that made her not hear me. 3rdly I had worked overnight and I got home to rest, she then told me that she needs
to get to the library, that they both have an assignment to do together, that she will be back in 2hours, I was now like
why didnt u guys plan out a time, I needed to rest and ur friend just called
without a proper timing that u should start coming. She left and I had to use sleepy eyes
to take care of the kids that morning. Now am on the verge of sitting her down and
have a dialogue with her that I have finally figured out that her close friendhsip with this person
seems not to go down well with me, I know some people will call me simp or weak man, but being very pragmatic in halding
issues like this is foremost, besides most women here seem to maturally exhibit that
sense of freedom and i can make decisions without u kinda thing, and I truly dont want to get in the way of that.