Hello
Are you interested in blogging
Do you think you have what it takes to be a blog correspondent??
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if yes kindly send your Cv/Profile to : infoccngo@yahoo.com
With "Blog Correspondent" as title of mail.
Or just holla at me for more information

xamster:
Nice story.

Thanks for reading

Hello guys I've not been seeing your votes on my Write-up
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HelenaG:

Hi LeMubs, Iv just voted for you. Kindly reciprocate. My link is https://prize.etisalat.com.ng/flash-fiction/voteall.php?id=2454

Thank you

Thanks so much
I'm on your page rn

HelenaG:
Want to trade votes?

Sure

More Ororo to your elbow
nice story


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Meanwhile kindly vote my write up in the etisalat flash fiction competition.
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I'm in love with this thread



-------
Meanwhile kindly vote my write up In the etisalat flash fiction competition
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it won't take your time
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KomonSense:


Babsopey, come and see ooo. Hope she is not trying to steal our show or distract us ooo? Anyways we are waiting for your permission whether to go ahead and vote for her or not.

lol I'm not here to distract.... and Babsopey is bae... won't fall my hand. You have his permission.

Hello everyone
So we are 3 chapters away from the end of free updates of this series
Thank you all for the comments and support...you've been wonderful.

If you wanna buy the e-book... the link is somewhere on this thread and you can just email me jummymubs101@gmail.com to buy the PDF.

I have over 6000 views and I've decided to give away 30 free pdf copies of the full book in return for a simple favour.
Kindly email me if you are interested
My email is jummymubs101@gmail.com
It's a first come first serve kinda offer...fastest fingers first.



Ya'll are the realest MVPs
I LOVE YOU ALL

Too much sauce!!!!
Too much suspense
Nice work OP



×************
Meanwhile please vote my write up in the etisalat flash fiction competition
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it won't take your time
Just click on the like(thumb) button,confirm your facebook details and wait for the number of likes to increase.
God bless you
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******* MY FIRST LOVE

He had the most beautiful eyes.The pair, blue to a fault, almost unreal; my heart would skip a million beats when ever our eyes met.I would get butterflies whenever his cheeks dimpled, and the corners of his eyes wrinkled. Our friends teased him about his oddly shaped head:like an acorn his head was cone-shaped,one look at it would remind me of the dinosaurs in Jurassic park. However I was indifferent,I accepted his flaws and idolized him. His name was Mevi and he was the newest boy in my class.

"Mevi smiled at me" said Tanya, the daughter of our english teacher one day during break time. I felt betrayed. How could Mevi do that to me?. Tanya was the prettiest girl in our class,her gap tooth and dimples singled her out and she was obviously prettier than I was but then, Mevi belonged to me;he was my precious.

"Mevi touched my face" Mapo blurted during our walk home. I shuddered. Mapo was a girl with a petite figure and I was round and fat like a mortar. Almost instantly,I coveted her body,maybe Mevi liked petite girls.
I was wrapped in a cloak of uncertainty:when will Mevi talk to me?

Then one day,he came to my seat and asked if he could borrow my pencil, tears of happiness flooded my heart as I handed him my neatly sharpened pencil. Our hands accidentally touched and I felt as though I was touched by an angel. He was back to borrow my book;then my eraser and then my ruler but Mevi never smiled at me like he did to Tanya; he never touched my face.
The next week at school Mevi was absent,he never returned. I was inconsolable,he was my first love and he left with my heart.



Here is a link to vote for the story

https://prize.etisalat.com.ng/flash-fiction/voteall.php?id=696

it won't take your time
Just click on the like (thumb) button,confirm your facebook details and wait for the number of likes to increase.
God bless you.

drizzit:

Checking it out.....

Voted yours.

MrsExplorer:

I saw this story, would go vote now but is this not more than 300 words

Please do vote And nope it's 299 words God Bless you.

MrsExplorer:


I saw this story, would go vote now but is this not more than 300 words

Please do vote
And nope it's 299 words
God Bless you.

bibijay123:


Hi dear, it seems their site is down for now but I will try again later.

Thanks so much
do try again
God bless you

drizzit:

Scratch my back.....i do urs....u game?

why not

Update please


Meanwhile please vote my write up in the etisalat prize for literature....
it won't take your time
Here is the link

https://prize.etisalat.com.ng/flash-fiction/voteall.php?id=696

God bless you.
NOTE - to vote without stress please use any other browser aside from opera mini

***** MY FIRST LOVE (My etisalat flash fiction entry)


He had the most beautiful eyes.The pair, blue to a fault, almost unreal; my heart would skip a million beats when ever our eyes met.I would get butterflies whenever his cheeks dimpled, and the corners of his eyes wrinkled. Our friends teased him about his oddly shaped head:like an acorn his head was cone-shaped,one look at it would remind me of the dinosaurs in Jurassic park. However I was indifferent,I accepted his flaws and idolized him. His name was Mevi and he was the newest boy in my class.

"Mevi smiled at me" said Tanya, the daughter of our english teacher one day during break time. I felt betrayed. How could Mevi do that to me?. Tanya was the prettiest girl in our class,her gap tooth and dimples singled her out and she was obviously prettier than I was but then, Mevi belonged to me;he was my precious.

"Mevi touched my face" Mapo blurted during our walk home. I shuddered. Mapo was a girl with a petite figure and I was round and fat like a mortar. Almost instantly,I coveted her body,maybe Mevi liked petite girls.
I was wrapped in a cloak of uncertainty:when will Mevi talk to me?

Then one day,he came to my seat and asked if he could borrow my pencil, tears of happiness flooded my heart as I handed him my neatly sharpened pencil. Our hands accidentally touched and I felt as though I was touched by an angel. He was back to borrow my book;then my eraser and then my ruler but Mevi never smiled at me like he did to Tanya; he never touched my face.
The next week at school Mevi was absent,he never returned. I was inconsolable,he was my first love and he left with my heart.


Here is the link to vote for me
https://prize.etisalat.com.ng/flash-fiction/voteall.php?id=696

It won't take your time
NOTE - to vote without stress use any other browser aside from opera
God bless you.

Nice write up Thumbs up
Vote my write up too Link is on my signature.

*MY FIRST LOVE (My Etisalat Flash Fiction Entry)

He had the most beautiful eyes.The pair, blue to a fault, almost unreal; my heart would skip a million beats when ever our eyes met.I would get butterflies whenever his cheeks dimpled, and the corners of his eyes wrinkled. Our friends teased him about his oddly shaped head:like an acorn his head was cone-shaped,one look at it would remind me of the dinosaurs in Jurassic park. However I was indifferent,I accepted his flaws and idolized him. His name was Mevi and he was the newest boy in my class.
"Mevi smiled at me" said Tanya, the daughter of our english teacher one day during break time. I felt betrayed. How could Mevi do that to me?. Tanya was the prettiest girl in our class,her gap tooth and dimples singled her out and she was obviously prettier than I was but then, Mevi belonged to me;he was my precious.

"Mevi touched my face" Mapo blurted during our walk home. I shuddered. Mapo was a girl with a petite figure and I was round and fat like a mortar. Almost instantly,I coveted her body,maybe Mevi liked petite girls.
I was wrapped in a cloak of uncertainty:when will Mevi talk to me?

Then one day,he came to my seat and asked if he could borrow my pencil, tears of happiness flooded my heart as I handed him my neatly sharpened pencil. Our hands accidentally touched and I felt as though I was touched by an angel. He was back to borrow my book;then my eraser and then my ruler but Mevi never smiled at me like he did to Tanya; he never touched my face.

The next week at school Mevi was absent,he never returned. I was inconsolable,he was my first love and he left with my heart.




Please it won't take your time to vote for me
Here is the link


https://prize.etisalat.com.ng/flash-fiction/voteall.php?id=696


Support a sister
More episodes of Diary Of A Jumoke coming up.
God bless you.

Good morning everyone, I really really need your help on something.



Please please and please kindly vote for my write up to hit top 50 in the etisalat prize for literature https://prize.etisalat.com.ng/flash-fiction/voteall.php?id=696
it won't take your time
Just click on the link and hit the like button
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Just click on the link
Hit the like button and it's done if the number of likes increases.
PLEASE SUPPPORT A SISTER.
THANKS
I LOVE YOU ALL.
Here is the link again
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Diary Of A Jumoke 11

"Hi baby" he said in a sleepy voice.

His call woke me up and I was more than glad he called. We had not been talking for a while now, partly because he was out of the country and also because I wanted to take things slow with him.

Dapo was more than I bargained for. I never thought we could be this close.

I was a sugar baby by nature and I was not ready for the kind of commitment he was proposing. So my plan was to tag along and see if we could work a solid relationship out which I doubt anyway.

To be honest, my motivation was his money. No time to catch feelings please.

"...I love you Jumoke" he said at one point during the call and I just blanked out.

Did he just mention love?

Oh no, he didn't!

"Dapo, I have to go. We'll catch up later" I replied, ending the call with the speed of light.

Did I mention that I met a new sugar daddy? His name was Tolu Obajuwon Kings. His friends nicknamed him TOKs.

He was one of those rich potbellied men that never get tired of showing off sweet classy babes. I met him at the cinema about two weeks ago.

He was accompanied by a girl who was looking like a third class Olosho. Immediately I saw him, I knew he was game.

All I had to do was to walk past him and I intentionally dropped my purse close to where he was sitting. In between bending down to pick my purse, he experienced the presence of my booty in 4D and the rest was history.

We had plans to meet up and appearing in my possible best was my ultimate goal. Who knows what surprise he has in store for me?

I entered the living room after a long soak in the bath tub and I almost went deaf. Olamide's ‘Don't stop’ was blaring from the sound system and Shade was shaking back and forth like someone who just won a jackpot.

She seems to be extra happy these days. I walked briskly to the freezer, picked a bottle of Star Radler and I was going to settle down and watch my bestie's dance routine when the first round of nausea hit me.

I felt like my stomach had tied up in a knot. But then I ignored it, I thought it was because I had not taken any solid food.

I took a big gulp from the drink and was about to sit on the couch when my legs failed me. I saw how Shade ran to hold me before I fell and that was the last thing I knew.

****

I could hear voice but I had no idea where I was.
I could smell cheap disinfectants too.

"Where is that smell coming from?" I thought.

I hope Shade didn't use any of those cheap things in our apartment. I tried to raise my right arm, but it was kind of heavy.

I felt someone was holding my other arm. I opened my eyes and I saw white curtains through my blurred sight.

"Hian! This is not my room nah"

Then suddenly a face materialized in front of me. I knew that face.

"Dapo" I said in a tired voice.
"What is going on here?" I inquired in a worried tone.

"Calm down Barbie"
"You'll be fine" he answered.
"You fainted, babe. Shade called me and we brought you to the hospital" he added.

"I fainted?" I asked.

My sugar baby instinct kicked in instantly.

OMG! I was supposed to meet with TOKs and I fainted.

"What kind of gbegen situation is this?"
"I need to get out of here ASAP!"

I was about sitting upright when I noticed the IV drip strapped to my hand.

"Great!" I muttered.

A female doctor walked in just when I was about asking Dapo when I'll be out of here. She was short, a bit chubby and she was looking like one of those witch characters in Merlin.

"Hello Madam" she said with a plastered smile.

"But why is this woman pretending to be smiling" I thought.
Even on the sick bed, I still have mean thoughts.

Dapo was holding my hand and that gave her ideas we were couples.

"Sir your wife will be fine" she chipped in.

She opened the medical chart she was holding and her lips widened into an annoying smile showing her gap tooth.

"Why does she have a gap tooth too?"
"I bet she is related to Chief Ike" I sniggered.

"Congratulations Jumoke, you are six weeks pregnant!" she said loudly.

I froze instantly. Dapo squeezed my hand to calm my nerves. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the news

Did she just mention being pregnant?

Millions of panicking thoughts raced through my mind. But we are in September. Could this nurse be playing an April fool stunt on me?

**************************

Good Afternoon People
I'm back o
bigger and better
I'm sorry for disappearing
Forgive me

I believe in a United Nigeria. The present state of the country have exposed our weaknesses as humans and we begin to question what our fore-fathers have labored for. We can't afford to allow this country divide. We (hausa, Igbo, yoruba and other tribes) are all the same. Please, let's join hands to make it better.

America will not protect our unity (Remember, they predicted Nigeria's breakup to be in 2015 and here we are, saved by His Grace)

Other developed countries will not save us from dividing (they also have their problems too)

Nigerians are scattered all over the world and we have the best brains in the whole universe.. No doubt

Ask me..
Who built the super computer?
Who's Queen Elizabeth's personal physician?
Let's stop there for a while....

Now, the answer...

We have all it takes (manpower, brains, natural endowments) to be the best economy in the world...

So what is our problem?

You have your views and I have mine...

Let's unite and fix Nigeria because we are all stakeholders

******For those who believed in this dream*******

There is an online forum that is currently in her developmental stage.... This forum needs volunteer like you to help her reach out to the government. We are in search of Web developers, IT Security personnel, Creative Writers, Motivators, Experienced Entrepreneurs, Political Analysts, Human Right Activists, Journalists, Graphic designers, Cartoonists and Others (** if you love this country, you believe in her unity and you have something to offer to help her)...

Together, we can achieve more...

Please, Join Us if you love Nigeria

Nigeria Belongs to All of Us, Let's Save her from Economy stagnation, Dependency, Division, War and Destruction!

To join this group of Volunteers,
Kindly send a whatapp message to +234 703 423 1333 or +234 814 717 5118

#TeamOneNigeria
#GodBlessNigeria
#AwakeNaija

Hello Sweethearts I'm soooo sorry I went off grid, it's not intentional I'll be here nextweek with another episode though. Thanks for staying put Gracias

Umsel5195:
nice write up LeMubs you are truly good with your pen *thumbs up*

Thanks for reading dear

seunlly:
Pls how are will going to pay that 200#

Hey dear...kindly follow the link to the e-book.. you'll find it on one of my posts on here. The link will take you to where you can purchase the e-book and you'll be directed on how to pay.
And if you get stuck just send me a personal message.
Thanks

Lol
All this "I'm not understanding you people are sharing ehn"

Here is the breakdown
I wove two events together and made it into one
Remember episode 8 where I ended with Noka stalking JUMOKE?
I wove the stuffs that happened after she discovered him stalking with the stuffs in the current event (Episode 10)

Its more like the "sexual encounter" with Dapo made her remember her experience with Noka back in episode 8
She was kinda comparing scenes

Try reading it again you'll understand

Hope this was helpful.

CC heemah
Donpoker9

•DIARY OF A JUMOKE #10

"Baby, are you feeling hot?"
"Should I ignite the AC?" he asked when he saw how I was fanning myself vigorously.

My throat went dry. This man must be a special kind of silly.

I mean how would you have loads of money like this and still speak English that could pull down the ozone layer?

He wants to ignite the AC.
Somebody please save me!

I nodded for him to turn on the air conditioner. The heat was killing me.

I was finally in his house because he would not stop calling my phone. And because I promised him I would come.

His house was not as I have imagined it to be; rather it was a big house. Everything looked opulent; from the throw rug to the curtains, to the piece of expensive furniture. The house was a spectacular sight to behold.

There was a huge portrait of Chief Ike, a woman who I guessed was his late wife and two kids on the wall.

There was also a swimming pool in the compound and a garage that housed various types of expensive cars.

I asked him why he lived in this big house alone and he explained that his wife was late and that his daughter was out of the country. His eldest son who was in the country refused to live with him.

Aside from the servants who lived in the boy’s quarters outside the main house, he was the only one living in the big house.

I had been sitting alone in the living room for close to an hour. And to be honest I loved the peace and quiet. It was better than hearing Chief Ike talk nonstop.

My ring tone broke the silence, Dapo was calling and for reasons I couldn't explain, I ignored the call. I didn’t want him asking where I was. It was not as if I owe him any kind of explanation. I just didn't want to talk to him. Ever since the kiss happened he had been acting the boyfriend part and it was making me feel very uncomfortable. I was a sugar baby, not someone's "Lil girlfriend".

He had been dropping by in my house every now and then but we haven't gotten intimate. As much as I think about banging him, when he comes around those thoughts just disappear. He seems to have this kind of unexplainable effect on me.

"Madam, I just say make I tell you say food don ready".

I looked up and saw a lady. She must be one of the house helps. She has this physique of a plus size model. I could not help but admire the size of her breast. Damn they were massive!

"Thank you" I said.

She curtsied and walked away.

"Omalicha, biko I had to attend to some urgent matters"
"I hope you were not too bored" he said.

I had dozed off on the chair where I was sitting

"You must be hungry"
"Let me call Sarah to serve our food".

He called the girl and told her to serve our meal.

This man self! He didn't even wait for me to talk; he just assumed I wanted to eat. What if I wanted MouthAction or a body massage??

"My nephew is around"
"I want you to meet him" he said with a mouthful.

The plate of food in front of me was getting the best of my attention plus I was not in the mood for small talks so I just nodded in reply. Besides, I had no intentions of meeting any nephew of his.

I was almost done with my food when his so called nephew arrived. His fruity voice struck my ear and I froze where I was.

"God this is not happening!" I muttered silently.

I was sitting with my back to him so he didn't know it was me.

"Noka, meet my Omalicha" Chief said proudly like I was a piece of treasure he owned.

I knew the game was up and I had to face him. I turned and our eyes met. His face went white, like he had just seen a ghost.

He opened his mouth in an effort to say something but he closed it almost instantly. Chief was busy with his plate of food and he didn't see the scene that was playing out between us.

Even the strongest chain could not have tied me down because I picked up my purse instantly and Hussein bolted out of the house. All I wanted right then was to get farther away from the house as soon as possible.

I was done with Chief Ike for good.
*******

I was in deep thought all the way home. I cried at some point too. I was feeling so helpless. Why did Noka have to show up in my life like this?

Everything was going on perfectly until he came around. I was so restless that I almost hit a pedestrian who was crossing the road. I arrived home with sadness written all over me.

"Hello Barbie" he said as I entered the living room.
He was sitting casually on one of the couch with his leg bare

"Just the person I needed right now" I thought.

"I've been waiting since forever"
"I thought you'll never come"
"And Shade left me by myself" he added.

I was lost in thoughts. I couldn't even make out what he was saying.

He noticed my mood and he pulled closer.

"Babe, what's up? Have you been crying?" he asked in a concerned voice.

I wanted to explain to him but I couldn't find my voice. I just sat there with tears.

He drew me closer for a hug but instead I went for his lip, kissing him like my life depended on it.

I needed someone to hold on to. Someone to tell me I'll be fine. I needed to drown my sadness. He returned my kiss with a passionate abandon that I forgot totally about Noka.

I slipped my hands under his shirt to undo his belt but he stopped me.

"Jumoke, you need to calm down"
"You are not fine. You need to fix yourself"
"Do you really want this?" he asked in a low but audible voice.

This was the first time a guy actually stopped to ask me if I wanted sex before taking me. Of course I wanted it. I didn't need to answer; the look in my eyes said it all.

He allowed me unhook his belt and take off his shirt. He undid my zipper too. I took him in my mouth moving slowly on him. I watched him moan with pleasure.

****

My mind drifted off to the night at Club 44 when I turned and found Noka standing behind me. At first I thought it was the alcohol in my system that was at work. But then he pulled closer and called me my pet name. My anger melted like a snow cone.

****

The way my hand pressed down his temple made him shiver. I was doing things to him. I loved the way I was making him feel.

****


Noka came closer to me and hugged me before I had the chance to retreat. He was begging for a chance to come back into my life. He asked if we could talk elsewhere and I agreed. I was drunk; I wouldn't have allowed him near me.

****

He came in my mouth few minutes later. I licked and swallowed his cum like it was a vanilla ice cream. I wanted to taste every bit of him. Then he asked me if I had a condom.

****

He led me to his car and I entered without protesting. We talked for a while. I couldn't remember most of our conversation. Few minutes later I was kissing him. He knew I was drunk yet he didn't try to stop me.

****

I brought him a condom and he slipped it on. He picked me up from the couch and asked where my room was. He wasn't going to make love to me on the couch.

****

I could remember how he tore off my thong and slipped into me without warning, Noka was an alpha beast when it comes to sex. He screwed my brains out on his backseat. I knew I was not doing the right thing. But the alcohol had gotten the best of me.

****

Dapo gently dropped me on my bed and instructed me to part my legs. I did and he eased himself into me gently. I felt like I was in heaven. Each of his gentle thrust made me wanted him more.

****

Few more thrusts and he vibrated with the sensual music of orgasm. We both sat at the back of the car panting. I woke up the following day in a hotel room, sleeping beside me was Noka. The memories of the past night violently rushed back like an ocean wave. I was so furious when I found out what had happened. I was threatening fire and brimstone as I dressed up. I told him never to come near me again and stormed out of the hotel room.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------
And everyone turned to ghost reader Hian...no comment nothing......
Iz nor good o
Good Morning anyways and have a nice day.
READ
SHARE
COMMENT
Love Ya'll

•DIARY OF A JUMOKE #9

Two weeks passed and my contract with Dr Bassey ended. He traveled out of the country last weekend after depositing a breathtaking amount of money in my bank account.

I mean five million naira for two weeks of being his side chick! If you ask me, I'll say that's good business.

Shade's birthday was coming up soon and I planned a small party for her. It was the least I could do. The lady was like a sister I never had.

My head was all wrapped up in the birthday preparation that I forgot totally about Chief Ike's invitation. When I remembered, it was way too late and I figured I had to devise a plan to make it up to him.

The day came and we were all prepared for the celebration. Shade had pestered me into inviting Dapo for the party.
She was hoping he would come with one of his friends or he could hook her up with one of his friends. Shade who was notorious for changing boyfriends like clothes told me she was a changed person and was down for love. Well, every girl deserves a second chance.

It was meant to be a small party, but the number of people who turned up was crazy. Even those people we had not invited came. Even Tega too came and she was acting this "goody" too nice girl to me. That girl's stupidity is just beyond me.

I decided to wear a casual micro mini grown and a leather pam sleep on. I packed my braids in a ponytail and as usual, I was looking ravishing!

The party was already bubbling and everyone was having fun. Shade was all smiles.

I was busy with a plate of grilled meat when Dapo arrived. I was so into it that I didn't notice he had been taking pictures of me chewing a mouthful of meat.

I was highly embarrassed when I finally knew what had happened.

"Hello Barbie, enjoying the meat?" he asked with a mocking grin on his face. I swallowed hard.

"Hi Dapo" I replied with a smile, standing up to give him a hug.

He was dressed in a red polo T-shirt, a short knickers and matching snickers. He looked completely dashing. I couldn't help but stare at his lips. He caught my eyes on him and he winked.


FAST FORWARD»»»»»»»»


The party was a blast. I was really tired and my neck was hurting. God knows, I nearly twisted my neck, made silly faces and replicated model like poses all in a bid to take perfect selfies with the celebrant.

It was late in the evening and almost everyone had left except for some of our neighbors and then Dapo. He stayed till the end of the party to keep my company. Thank God I hired a caterer; the whole place was a mess. Shade and I could not have cleaned it up in two weeks.

"I like your shorts" I complimented gesturing towards his khaki short.

I was slightly tipsy - and well, you know what happens when a girl is tipsy.

"I like your gown too"
"You look like a fairy!"

He picked his phone and asked if we could take a picture together. I gladly agreed.

The picture was beautiful and he joked about how my eyebrow looked like a Nike symbol.

At one point during our conversation he held my hand. His hands were warm and I wished he could hold me forever. Suddenly, he drew a bit closer and took my mouth in his (and there goes my kiss!). I was slightly shocked. I wasn't expecting him to kiss me.

And as quick as he began, he pulled away and mouthed a silent "I am sorry; you are just too beautiful".

Hian! Which kain I'm sorry? [What kind of sorry is that!?]

I replied by kissing him back. I had always wanted to do that. His lip was just as I had fantasized - soft, sweet and ... (I kennat explain)

My hand was under his shirt in no time but we were interrupted when Shade cleared her throat loudly. We pulled away from each other. I could see the flush on his face.

"Sorry for interrupting" Shade teased.
"I just wanted to thank you for showing up Dapo"
"And Jumoke, thank you so much for this party"
"I feel so honored".

I gave her a tight bear hug and Dapo took a picture of us.

Few minutes later he was in his car ready to go home.

"Take care of yourself Sweetheart"
"See you soon" he said his full blown baritone voice.

I gave him a wide smile and waved as he zoomed off.
I started missing him the moment he left.

"The guy is just a "potential customer", don't start catching feelings" I mused, trying to talk myself out of the idea that I was falling for him.

"Lover girl! When did you guys started dating?" Shade asked with a mischievous grin.

"Obashade! Please don't start with me" I replied and headed straight into my room.

"No one is dating anyone" I added.

"Sha tell him to hook me up with one his friends" Shade shouted after me.

I entered my room and crashed on my bed replaying the day's event in my head. I was still in Disneyland fantasizing about how cute a couple I and Dapo will be when my phone rang.

Chief Ike was at it again.

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Hello people happy new week.
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God bless
And don't forget the the full ebook of the series is still available on Okadabooks

http://okadabooks.com/search?term=Diary+of+a+jumoke

Or send me a personal message to get the PDF file.
Thanks.

fiyah:
*******************
Save your advice
Cos I won't hear
You might be right
But I don't care
There's a million reason why I should give you up
But the heart wants what it wants
-Selena Gomez (The heart wants what it wants)
*******************
'What?' Was the first thing she yawned out when she picked up after he had called and texted...

... and call and texted

...and called and texted endlessly practically pleading in his texts. He wanted to argue it out with her at first but why waste time about that? He would just go straight to the point.

'What is a vasectomy?' He asked.

Tobi was in the restroom after politely excusing himself from that lousy lady who Jo introduced to him earlier tonight. It was only the three of them on the table and the lady never had her mouth shut. Not for a minute. It's not like Tobi really had any trouble with her being a talkative but why does she really have to involve him in a conversation that has anything to do with medical terms? He could tell she already assumed he was a doctor the way she was talking to him like a pro. Jo was there so all he really had to do was keep a sealed lip with a plastic fake smile and nodding whenever it looks like she wants him to agree to whatever it is she was saying.

Then Jo was invited to one of her superiors table and he was left with the lady. Alone.

All he wanted at that very moment was alien abduction.

'My husband and I agreed he should have a vasectomy nextweek. I don't know why I'm having second thoughts about it after we've both agreed he'd do that after our third child. Now our baby is five and we think now is the right time. I don't know why I'm thinking this is a bad idea. But I'd like to ask you, as a guy, what do you think about vasectomy?'

That would have been easy to answer if he knows the meaning of the vasectomy thingy.

So that was how our dear Tobi took a trip to the restroom.

'Has it never occurred to you I might be busy? Sleeping?' Tori's voice simply signifies frustration.

'Well, sorry to disturb you about those unimportant things you were busy doing. Can you please help me out?'

'You really have no shame when it comes to asking for help do you?'

'Please?'

'Huh... Really? It's late already.' She moaned.

'What is vasectomy?'

'Seriously? You woke me up because of 'that'? You must be kidding me. Can't you consult Google? Huh?'

'You think I haven't tried that. The network here is completely out!'

'Then, the dictionary on your phone at least?'

'Seriously? Do I look or sound like someone who keeps such things? Huh? What's the fuss about anyways, you are already awake. Just go ahead and answer?'

'It's even one of the basics. Who doesn't know what a vasectomy is?'

'This guy here. Let's just assume I'm not of a fan of basics or whatever you call it?'

'Fine. A vasectomy is a surgical division of all or part of the vas deferens....'

'Vas difference? Really? Are you really going to do this to me right now? Just tell me you don't want to answer.'

'Deferens not difference...'

'Who cares? Just put it in lay man English...'

'It is an 'operation' that makes a man unable to produce sperm during sex thereby making it impossible for him to make a woman pregnant.'

'Bye.' He said as he ended his call hurriedly. He doesn't want that lady thinking he's got diarrhoea or something.
Confidently patting his suit and adjusting his tie, he walked back to the lady.

And after some minutes...

'...so, I don't really think it's really a good idea. You guys shouldn't make that mistake.' Tobi finished his speech and he could hear some invisible applause.

'Thanks so much. It was quite nice talking to someone about it. It would have been a shame if I really have to do it and forever regret it.' She was quite impressed


'Well, what do we have here? What were you guys discussing?' Jo said as she sat back down. She had this inquisitive look in her eyes.Tobi could feel relief sweep over him and at the same he felt so proud of himself.

'Doctor Tobi and I had to talk about vasectomy.'

'Doctor Tobi?' Jo was quite surprised at first then a soft smile crossed her lips. 'Interesting. I never knew you had interest in those kind of things.' That was meant for him.

'I actually don't like boasting.' Tobi said smiling back at her.

If that's not boasting. I don't know what is.

'Well, 'Doctor,' ' Jo had a strong emphasis on the 'doctor'. 'Would you marry someone with an oesophagus?'

There was no way he could escape to the restroom this time. He was trapped and he just had to gamble his answer through.

'Actually, having an oesophagus is not the end of the world. Although it's a rare case and people with oesophagus tend to give up on life easily. Some even go ahead to commit suicide because they think no one will marry them. If the oesophagus is in the early stage, I can still....'

The shrill laughter both ladies gave told him he had said something completely wrong. Something very wrong and they were so mocking him.

His escape route was the restroom even though his excuse request wasn't granted because both ladies were busy laughing, he went to the restroom anyway.

Tori had to do the facepalm thing. Her face completely buried in her palm in utter disbelief. Is he really human? He obviously didn't go through primary school. She had nothing to offer but embarrassment at his 'oesophagus story'

'Did you really tell them all that?' She asked to be sure she heard right.

'Yeah. I said something wrong right?' He really didn't want to hear the affirmative as her reply.

'Something so wrong nothing in this world has ever been wrong before. Something so unbelievable too. Seriously? How did you make it through primary school?'

'You can't blame me. It sounded so much like a disease I thought it had something to do with cancer. So are you going to tell me the meaning now?'

'No. Download a dictionary and see the meaning yourself.' And she hung up.

How is he possibly going to face Jo and her friend?

Lmao Ma'am the esophagus part was so hilarious I was laughing out loud.
I bet you watched that Pulse TV interview where a girl was asked if she would marry someone with esophagus.. She gave a bizarre answer too a total flop.
Nice one fiyah
New on the thread,first time commenting.

Evakinqz:
so em nat among yur wonderful Monikers, no wahala em leaving joor

*Singing "I want you Stayyyyyy" in Rihanah's voice
Ya a regular here nau,those monikers are let's say new to the thread.