Life2020:
Hi, first i want to thank you all for your advise the last time i was here.
the last time i brought up my problems here, i vented out about how my husband is being a total pain in the ass.
the problem is one, he's cheating on me with several girls and still want to have sex with me but i refused stating that until he does a full STD test we are not having sex, simply put i need to Know that he is STD free before we have sex again
Two, he's never at home, sometimes for two weeks he stays in hostels with girls, partying and spending his money, at first i tried to understand him because we did marry young, i felt that maybe he misses having his Independence, so at first i said nothing until it got worse. i now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him, i need them to have a good relationship with their father and have even advised him to take them out, maybe to a theme park or anything really but he has refused stating that he's busy.
thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself, i know he's lying because i have admirers, like a lot of them, ever since i started making money and could afford to employ workers, i have done everything to make myself look good, i go to the gym, do facials and i make sure I look beautiful, honestly I don't know what's wrong with him. i have come to the conclusion that he is only saying it to be mean to me, maybe as a means of control, honestly i think he thinks if he makes me feel less than i am, to make me think i have no where else to go .
thirdly when we first got married, we both agreed that he will go to the university first then later, i will also attend, after finishing his university education he couldn't find a job so i gave him two of my lands to start a business, he because successful in the business and is now lavishing the money. i have a farming business, it's very successful, with it i have many lands and i built the home me and my husband live in, ever since he started making money i advised him to build his own house but he has refused, instead he bought a fancy car, i want to build an estate so that i can have another source for revenue but for one reason or other, my husband is advising me against it, now back to me wanting to attend the university, i want to study accounting so that i can take my business to a new level but my husband has refused saying that he wants more babies, we already have twins (two lovely girls). i told him later, after I finish my university degree and our girls are a little bit older, we will have more kids

now back to the present day, have decided I'm kicking my husband out, recently I noticed he was always at home, I was happy but surprised, I thought he had changed. I decided we need to spend time together as a family, I was even planning on us going on a vacation, give my children a life I wasn't opportune to live, I talked to him about it, we made plans, he agreed to go for a full STD test. I was happy
little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family, I just looked at him, I haven't said anything to him in days. but I have decided that I'm kicking him out. I want to do this in a way that it doesn't affect my children, I really want them to build a relationship with their dad but as for me I clocked out of this marriage a long time ago.

I was advised my a friend to make a video while I kick him out but I'm not going to do, he's till the father of my child, and I don't want my children to grow up and find those videos
honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce

Helpout12345:


I remember your story then. The elders did not advise you to scatter your marriage then. We told you to insist on STD tests and ensure he is no longer cheating before you continue having unprotected sex with him.

From your new narrative, he had agreed to conduct STD tests, he had come back home. The pregnancy outside is a new thing now.

About the pregnancy, I think that happened before he decided to change and come back home. I want to say it's part of his mistakes while outside.

I know you are hurting to learn about this now but don't take a decision while under anger or emotion.

If he had truly changed from cheating, you people can start rebuilding your home.

The children suffer the most in a broken home. You even have girls. I can tell you most ladies raised by single mothers end up single mothers when they grow up. Think deeply about your children welfare now and in future before you use emotion to scatter your home.

Lastly, be careful of advise you take from your fellow women irrespective of their age or status because most of them will advise from emotional perspective or outrightly lie to you when they advise you.

Wawelexy:
Make we hear your husband story too.....

You said you both got married at a tender age? Did you inherit those properties you claim to have, abi which kind work you dey do before you marry your husband...

That nigga got into that marriage because of your money.... If you kick him out, another nigga will come in and cash out massively... so pick your poison wisely

07kjb:
U bleached your skin and makes up now looking like a clown, that's the problem your husband has with you

I also know that the house u want to kick your husband out from u didn't build it singlehandedly

Lastly u can't kick him out na naija we dey o,no be yankee

Zonefree:
Do you have any proof your husband is cheating on you? Don't you think you refusing to have sex with him made him to start sleeping outside?

He started coming back late the moment you stopped having sex with him.

You think writing JAMB and gaining admission will have any effect on your marriage? If you like go to Harvard or Cambridge university, it will never solve your marital problems. Sit your husband down and address the issue and stop starving him with sex. Food and Quality sex is the two ways to a man's heart.