BigBashiru:


dishonesty in finances means u feel entitled to money ur not working for. I bet ur also unhappy in ur current marriage..... most girls select and select and select until they can select no more (get old).

u were not with him wen he was making d moni so don't feel entitled to it. I'm sure u work too.

Dishonesty in finances means that he was owing different loan sharks a lot of money while pretending to be what he is not with me and my family, which also ties into all the lies.
I don’t feel entitled to any man’s money but when you want to start a home, openness is key.

Yes I have
We dated for 5 years.
Proposed to - Jan 2020
Introduction - February 2020
Engagement and wedding was supposed to be - November 2020
I called off the wedding in August 2020 due to the below reasons:
- Dishonesty in finances (non-communication too)
- LIES, very strong ones
- Cheating (deal breaker was while engaged)
- Sexual incompatibility
- Loss of love and attraction because of the above.
The red flags had always been there, but I chose to ignore because I was blinded at the time.
He got married to someone else in less than a year.
I don’t regret my decision and I’m glad I called it off; I deserved better.

Please I need to connect with Operations Research (Part time)

Please is there a Whatsapp group for Operations Research (PT)
Also, when is the deadline for payment? I'm thinking of making payment like a week to the start of lectures, or when they announce lectures would start, since lectures haven't started yet. Is it safe to do this?

Good morning
Pls my exam is scheduled for Friday and till now i haven’t gotten the link for the exam.

When would we get it?
Or can anyone who has gotten the link forward to me please?

Thanks.

Stacyomolola:
Hi i have a question @ lolaO
Sorry to intrude, whats the update on your previous post? Did he call? Are u guys back together ?

He did come back, proposed almost immediately and I was stupid enough to accept. This was January last year.
We had the introduction and fixed a wedding date.

Thankfully, months to the wedding, a lot of things were revealed and I had to call off the wedding.
We have since gone our separate ways.

Thanks for reaching out.

5 months

Omotakins:
marry you to defray debt?! I'm still trying to figure out what that means. Can you say more on that?

It’s a long story, I’d rather not go into details

They were plenty. I was so foolish, up till 3 months to my wedding, when I finally saw it.

1. Too ‘busy’ to show up at important events in my life - graduation, family dinners etc.
2. Delay in committing
3. No communication with me when he is upset or sad. Sometimes as long as 6 months-1 year
4. No visits all through the year until December (long-distance relationship, I’m in Lagos, he works in the East)

He came back suddenly after one of his long breaks and proposed and I was foolish to accept.
We had the introduction immediately early in the year but wedding was fixed for November. He wanted the wedding asap as well but my dad refused.

His lies finally came to light 2 months to the wedding, sometimes in October and it all made sense why those red flags were there.
He has someone else in Asaba and wanted to marry me to settle debts

I called off the wedding and I’m glad I did.

Threebear:

The biggest victory for your laycon would be defeating Erica on stage .

If she's gone it will always be a case of she could have won if she wasn't disqualified.

The result has not been shown since week 1.

Her apologies outside the house will fetch her more sympathizers .

She is by far smarter than Tacha and with the management I'm hearing about , she'll fix her image and reputation .

She'll come out as the biggest winner of the show .

A damsel in distress.

The pure woman who was bullied by Nigerians for rejecting a man and was frustrated into disqualification.

Feminists will arise .

NGOs will come out .

Laycon's victory will be meaningless ( that's if it even happens) .

Most of you never look at the big picture.

You're consumed by your emotions just like Erica and it makes you pursue ephemeral desires.

Tacha's disqualification was easy because everyone wanted her out except her Titans and she never really improved ...Erica has lots of sympathizers that are not necessarily her fans .

If she's disqualified today ... everything I said here will happen and you'll come back to tell me I'm right again.

Trikytee’s sibling

Good evening, please I need past questions on Operations Research? Anyone?
Thanks.

Hi Kalan,

Please, is it true Msc Management is not available this year?

Chibexe:


Hello LolaO.

A whole lot. it depends on your career path.

My career path is Management. And I don’t want an MBA.
What are my other options?

Chibexe:
Happy Sunday guys

for Msc management applicants, it is unfortunate there wont be msc management this year.

your PG coordinator just confirmed that to me.

Be properly guided

have a lovely Sunday.

Buzor

This is heartbreaking
What other MSc course can one go for?

Hi there!

I have a meal plan that would help you lose weight fast in 28 days without exercise!

It goes for just 10,000.

Follow the meal plan strictly and watch 14kg of weight drop off in one month.

Kindly contact me on 08139186067 if interested.

Actually, all of the above

That’s my country

This is just wicked

jclassiq:


This type of sh*t can make you lose your mind for real, babe trust me. But you will be OK soon. You may not fully recover from this sort of crap but you must go on living. And I hope someone comes soon who will take you to the altar and love you till death do you part.

Thank you

Grumpyy:
In response to this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/5508729/5-year-old-relationship-ended

Hello dear, I went through something like this a year ago but not in your position so let me share my story with you, it MAY help you connect the dots.

So fast rewind to 2013, I met my girlfriend when I was in 200L in the university. I've always been a reserved person, so when I met her, I wasn't really prepared to date anyone yet but her ingenuity attracted me. She was in 100L but then I also have this heightened, over bloated self respect that even as I am her snr by just a level, I still felt she was a child and needn't had to have anything to do with her. I was 18 then, mind you.

What drew me to date her was when I noticed my guys (not really friends) gawking at her. They all wanted to have a piece of her and I just felt I should step in and protect her kinda (yes my mind actually thought this).

I noticed she was always uneasy with me and that was a good sign, so I asked her out and she accepted. I got to find out that she was a virgin too, and before I knew it, I was so deep in love with her. We dated till I left school in 2016. I finished my service early 2018 and got a scholarship for masters in the UK so I left the country, June 2018.

For the 5 years we dated, we never had sex. We did other things of course but not sex. We made solid plans and I trusted her with my all my heart.

There was this guy amongst those my supposed guys that was never happy for me and my babe. He had wanted to ask her out before I blocked him, he would always talk about how he'd f....ck the living shit outta my GF to be, that she was voluptuous and the rest.. So when I started dating the girl, he was not happy, he pretended of course, but I could see through the ruse.

Fast forward to 2018 when I was just about to settle in the UK, I get a WhatsApp msg from this guy telling me he has something to say to me. He says he's been f...cking my babe and sent me her nude. For like 3 days, I shut down. I couldn't eat, I couldn't read, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't coordinate my head at all. I was so confused because before I left the country, i hadn't seen my GF for almost a year but we spoke every day, sometimes 3 to 4 times in a day. I knew all she was doing and where she was at every time of the day, so if it was true, then it means she was being highly smart to keep up with me and still cheat, and that was an evil machination.

I shut her out, I wasn't taking her calls anymore, I wasn't replying to her msgs anymore, I literally brought out my heart, locked it in a chest and threw away the keys on the high sea, I acted this believe me. Her sister called, her mum, her friends, my sister, everybody called me to know what's up but I never said a thing. For 6 months, I wouldn't tell anybody anything and I also felt she was being hypocritical when she knows exactly what she did.

By December 2018, I was still getting calls to explain what was the problem, by then I had already completed my morphing into Davy Jones so I opened up to my sister. I told her that the biatch was cheating on me with the least person I had expected her to. I sent my sis the picture, it was a soft nude picture (you get me) but it was still something. She too, she went mad and said she'd confront her. I told her not to bother that she was already dead to me. She still confronted her and here's the denouement..

When my sis confronted her with the evidence, she fell down and cried and rained curses on me. She swore she never sent that guy, that picture. The picture was sent to me. She even right there sourced for the guy's contact and called him and the demon said how could her BF not trust her. That he was teasing me and he said I was the one that shared the nude amongst my friends. My GF opened her WhatsApp and luckily the chat from the day she sent me the picture was still there. I couldn't see this particular chat on my phone. I still kept her WhatsApp history too. My best guess is that the day she sent me the picture, my phone was with this other guy and he took it and deleted the chat from my end.

I begged for forgiveness, I had to cry to her before she said Ok.. I couldn't call the guy cause I don't know what to tell him.

So my dear, it was a long story indeed but I'm sharing it with you so you'd ask him the direct question like "did you hear I cheated on you?", or "Did you hear I wished you bad?" People are spreading malicious rumours about other people, so ask him if he heard or he saw anything.

There's this chat going around now where a guy said he saw his GF through CCTV where she was been fondled by another guy, the guy may decide to just shut her out and she wouldn't have a clue as to why.

Also, check yourself... if you ever betrayed his trust in a seemingly contrived way thinking he'd never find out.

At the end of the day, nothing really is hidden under the sun.

Thanks.

LolaO
Rocktation
Farano
Lalasticlala

I read this thinking it would end with “and that’s how I moved on from that relationship” lol
I’m glad it ended well for you though.
Nice read.

However, shutting your partner out when you have a misunderstanding isn’t the best thing. It takes maturity to understand the need to confront situations head on and communicate, however how painful it is.

Diavolo:
I'm not supporting the guy for just ghosting on her like that but I kind of understand Him cos I've been there. Some ladies don't put effort in the relationship, they just want the guy to do all the chasing and checking up and attention while they give nothing in return apart from sex. Now as she said, they've not seen in two years meaning he has not had sex with her for two years which might have been her major contribution. So logically, his love for her will gradually reduce till it dies and he just disappears from her life and abandons her in the relationship.

Lol...it is well with you.

Hazardfan1:


Lolao, chocolate and your mum are very wise people. Whatever it is that you might have done is no excuse for him ghosting like that, it can be painful but you should see it as a blessing in disguise. A better man for you will come. Don't feel bad even if it might be hard, he doesn't deserve you, you're a lover girl and everyone including you deserves to be loved.

You'll find someone worthy, this is one of life's challenges, you'll come out strong.

Can I reach out to you? I wanna have a word.

Thank you

sharpsharp:


Have you bought a car?
If not , I havea good offer for you .

I have. Thank you.

Emaprince:
You are guilty of something.

Stop looking for pity from people ..and making the guy look like the devil. You women loves playing the victim all the time even when you are busy committing atrocities secretly.

Typical.

Emaprince:
You havent seen him for upto 2yrs, and you still call that a relationship?

Excuse me...Are you saying you have been celibate for two yrs?..No sex with another man?

Stop lieing to yourself.

Distance is usually a disaster in a relationship. Lets not pretend.

Okay sir.

iamdapsyj:


@op what that guy said up there is actually true to some extent. I am in one of such relationship and seriously weighing my decision right now.

It’s true, but doesn’t apply to me.

thowbie7ven:
Edited...I'm sorry I had to put up your name just wanted to be so sure it's you...You went to laspotech rite? I just wondered why I don't get to see you post anything about him again...it was such a relationship then which I was viewing from afar....All I know all will be well with you...take your time and this time shall surely pass

Caleb uni, imota
Thank you

thowbie7ven:
Pls is this Ms ? is it that guy you once celebrated in a facebook post?

Yes sir... you know me?
Please, edit my name off

fowlyansh181:
he is tired of you that’s just the plain truth, and distance played a major role in it, he will regain back a lil of his feelings for you when and if he sees and spends time with you again, but don’t mistake that for a future, he is subconsciously tired of you.. I know this because I’m currently doing that to a girl I have been with, not 5 years though but 7konths, I traveled and is about embarking on a long trip and I already know that I’m tired of her.. it didn’t just start upon my traveling , it’s something that has been subconsciously buried even when I was with her.. i[b]t’s either you are more of a stress to him than you contribute , either you guys disturb him too much, you depend so much on him, he always spends and takes care of you, but even though you love and respect him, you are not financially stable to reciprocate the same way he does, maybe he sees you as a light stress he will inherit from Lagos to Asaba but has subconsciously buried this feeling when he was with you because your presence clouds his judgement, upon getting to Asaba , you weren’t there again to cloud his judgement, he met someone else he thinks is better and doesn’t come with a huge baggage and he got tired of everything that has to do with you,[/b] your family calling him is annoying to him and his mom knows exactly how his son feels but somehow already likes you and she is hoping her son comes around... .

I find the highlighted really funny, how you just concluded I may be a baggage he couldn't wait to let go of. Could this be what was wrong with yours?

I am a Data Analyst with a very good job, he has a good job as well, we are both very comfortable. Truth is, any man who has me is blessed, and because I know this, I won't fret. It's only normal to feel bad a relationship of 5 years (dated since I was in school), just ended with no explanation whatsoever. This is only normal, and this phase too shall pass.

fowlyansh181:
he has grown tired of the relationship and you both played a part in ending it.. stop expecting him to reach you and give you a reason for ending it, because he knows contacting you will suck him in again as he is yet to take a strong decision on what he wants .. move on, and if you guys are meant to be together, you will, if not , life goes on.

It takes a grown, mature adult to understand the need to end a 5 year relationship right.

shomutuski:



Move on please!!!!

I've seen relationship of 10 years waste too but that doesn't justify yours....

The fact that he didn't give you closure is what i don't understand, why cut someone off just like that for no reason.


He's in Asaba!! The Ho capital central. Look at the bright side, ge isn't gonna claim to love you and be cheating..

I'm available if you really down for consistency.

No catfishing

Lol... thank you

CHoccolaTE:
@ lolaO

Please ignore the insensitive comments by guys on the first day we pages, nobody should blame you for what your boyfriend did.

The truth is that males on nairaland far outnumber females and men generally have this habit of supporting each other against women even when they are wrong. That's because many of them are sociopaths. So you see senseless comments on this thread blaming you for your ex bad behaviour and senseless likes accompanying the comments.

Your ex boyfriend was wrong for cutting you off like that especially since parents were involved in the relationship, and he was very rude to promise to call your dad and then fail to do so, he sounds like an immature person that runs away from confrontations and hard situations instead of dealing with them head on. You should probably be glad he such an immature person is no longer dating you. Can you imagine if you were already married and he had to travel abroad for some reason like work then he just ghosts you and your kids the way he is doing now? Wouldn't that be worse than this present situation?

No matter the reason my dear, he should have had the balls to call you and let you know why he is ending a half decade relationship after wasting your youth and your time. He is just an insensitive coward and you should move on from him fast. The men blaming you on this thread and offering idiotic advice would insult any woman that dumps her ex after five years without asking her side of the story so don't take the biased male opinions here seriously.

Even if you did things you think were wrong, a sensible mature adult ought to have called you and let you know what happened instead of just running away like your heartless ex.

Please move on very quickly from that guy, I pray you find another man far better than him in every everyway soon enough. Stop wasting your tears and feeling bad for what your ex did to hurt you.

Thank you for this @CHoccolaTE.
My mum said the exact same thing highlighted above.
You just summarized most of the issues we've been having without me having to. I didn't say much about what had been going on prior to this total cut-off, but you understood perfectly.

I already decided to move on.

Originalsly:
Hmmm....5 years... you had plans to marry him.... did he had plans to marry you? Whether you did or not..... has your guy ever accused you of cheating? If yes... then from that day his trust has gone .... and when trust goes so does love. It may be for other reasons.... but as I see it... the relationship was long over as far as he was concerned. He only remained to keep up appearances to keep peace in both his and your families. Who knows... maybe he saw relocating as his way out of the relationship and to avoid face to face interrogations from both families. But then again.... it may very well be he found someone else... very sexciting and of wife material... a heart snatcher... and more likely...he is living with her The DO NOT DISTURB sign is up.

I never cheated.