jaybee3:


Have you considered going to your LA?

What exactly is the issue here though (please pardon my ignorance), saving your marriage or practical solutions to your current financial/housing predicament?

My LA are unable to help me at the moment, as I would classed as being intentionally homeless due to the eviction. I will be staying with my mother until I am able to find my feet. My LA will be able to help me as long as I can prove I have been staying at my mothers place for a few months. I am also expecting baby number 2 so it's the most practical Plan for now.

There's no issue, i just wanted reassurance that I am planning on doing the right thing, which is to separate.
Sometimes when you have been accepting things for a long time, You tend to forget what is normal/acceptable. I keep questioning myself, asking if I'm overreacting etc.
But it's not normal and I need to accept that....

It's nice to know I am on the same page with most posters here.

jaybee3:
Do you live in the capital?

I live in london

I live in the U.K. I've been married to my husband for two and a half years, we dated for a year before eloping.

Shortly after marriage, my husband left his job and has since refused to work. He relies on doing yahoo/fraud to earn a living. I am not perfect but as a Christian, I believe this is morally wrong. I hate this. I am also working professional, working for the government and I can put myself and kids at risk of anything happens - God forbid.

Must I add that we have a toddler and baby number 2 on the way - due anytime now In fact. We also have an older daughter, age 5 - from his previous relationship.

Here is my dilemma -
I'm currently living at home with my mum. We recently got evicted from our flat due to extreme rent arrears as my husband refused to pay rent. Im currently working and I've been the only one financing myself and my daughters care, school fees, food shopping, house hold bills etc. As I am legally the sole tenancy holder for our flat, I applied for housing benefits (where the government assists you with your rent) to minimise the risk of us loosing our home. I also made payments every month towards our rent with any surplus income I receive, after taking care of our everyday essentials. unfortunately this hasn't been enough to keep our home. After a year of this our landlord couldn't take it anymore and decided to evict us.
My partner is living with a friend.

His family are back home, although he has a sister here in the U.K. and in the states. They are fully aware of our current situation, they've tried to talk to him but of corse no change.
Everyone has tried to mediate...both our family, pastors, friends... you name it. My husband is not ready to change.
Our relationship isn't great either, we do not kiss, no sex, we live separate lives. My husband goes out clubbing 3-4 times a week and is a heavy smoker (weed) and drinker. He is also very emotionally manipulative. Every time I try to advise him to start working, or to live a better life, we will ALWAYS quarrel. He will go for weeks without talking to me.
I really hate this as I don't like trouble but this is really unfair. It has now got to the point where I am scared to comment on anything, with the hopes of keeping peace in our marriage.

Recent issue is that he now wants me to use fraudulent documents/fake ID to obtain a new tenancy (I cannot use my name because of the recent eviction - no landlord will touch me. I'm in a lot of dept, £6k alone from the rent arrears, so I cannot get a good reference and now have bad credit). Of corse I objected and pleaded for him to get a job and do things this right way. Because of this he is angry, saying I've insulted him and has refused to talk to me. Typical behaviour.

I also suspect he married me for papers as I am a U.K. National. Although He hasn't got his stay yet, he is on a marriage visa.

Ive had enough and I am planning on separating from him, until he is serious and ready to be responsible.

Just wanted unbiased views on my situation, am I doing the right thing (as a Christian). What would you do ?

Regards