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Romance / Re: Discover How To Make Your Husband Want To Have More Sex by Marawes: 10:25am On Jul 14, 2017
If you want to learn you must spend some time to read. Lol
Romance / Discover How To Make Your Husband Want To Have More Sex by Marawes: 9:55am On Jul 14, 2017
Discover How to Make Your Husband Want to Have More Sex: How to Make Passionate Love to Your Husband

Is it possible to make your husband want more sex? Many married women are hopeful that the answer to that question is “yes.” Unfortunately, a couple who was once very active sexually can find that part of their relationship changing to a point that sex rarely occurs. It’s frustrating if you’re a woman who still wants to be intimate with her husband only to have him come up with excuse after excuse for why he can’t or won’t make love. Unless your husband has been diagnosed with a medical condition that makes it impossible for him to be intimate, there really is no acceptable reason for the two of you not to be physical. If you’re unhappy with the frequency of lovemaking in your marriage, you need to get proactive and change it before it leads to more serious problems down the road.

What can you do to make your man crazy about you? Is it possible to make your man love you forever and ever?

In order to make your husband want more sex you first have to determine what is causing him to not want to make love right now. There are several common reasons for a man to lose interest in sex with his wife. Many women mistakenly jump to the conclusion that their husband is having an affair since he doesn’t want to be intimate. That’s rarely the case at all. In fact, many men who do cheat actually have more sex with their wife because they feel guilty so you can put that worry to rest. Your husband may be feeling overwhelmed with the stresses of life or perhaps he’s just not happy with his own body. Anything like this can have a detrimental effect on a couple’s sex life and can cause the man to pull back.

Sit down with your husband and have a frank discussion about the stress he’s feeling in his life. Don’t approach him in any way that would make him feel that you’re cornering him on the issue of intimacy. If you do this, he’ll likely retreat further into himself which will result in more distance between the two of you. Instead, tell him that you have noticed that he’s been under stress and that you’re available to be a sounding board. Let him vent. Sometimes that’s all that’s required for a man to start feeling calmer.

If you want to make your husband want more sex and you suspect that his reluctance to make love is tied to his current body image, there’s help for that too. Just as women sometimes feel uncomfortable addressing their weight, men are the same way. Instead of telling him that you believe he should lose some weight, work with him to make it happen. Explain to him that you think it’s time that you both started eating better and exercising. Then encourage him to take a walk with you each day or join the gym with you. Start cooking healthier meals together. Once you do this, you’ll notice a new bond being created between the two of you. It will bring you closer and intimacy will then only be a short step away.

Pay Close Attention Here-

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you’ll discover a stunning trick which will show you- How to Captivate a Man, Make Him Fall in Love with You — and Give You The World. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which shows any woman how to be irresistible to men.

“My husband doesn’t want to make love to me.” If a woman thinks or says this to herself she’s struggling under an umbrella of conflicting emotions. When your husband won’t be intimate with you anymore, you’re bound to feel rejection and resentment. You’ll start to question your own self worth as a woman and you’ll wonder whether he’s being faithful. It’s a tricky situation and one, if left unaddressed that can lead to divorce. If you feel sexually neglected by your husband, you need to act now to change things before it’s too late.

The first conclusion any woman understandably jumps to when she thinks to herself, “my husband doesn’t want to make love to me,” is that he’s making love with someone else. Surprisingly, when a man is being unfaithful to his wife he’ll often want to be intimate more often. The reasoning is very simple. He does that to get rid of the guilt he’s feeling. He’ll believe in his mind that if he’s making love with his wife as often as he is with his mistress that he’s taking less away from the woman he married. So, don’t assume that your husband is committing adultery if he’s not interested in intimacy anymore.

There are several common reasons why men stop making love with their wives. A few examples are that the man is feeling a great deal of outside stress and this affects his desire for his wife. The couple has been facing a conflict and that has impacted his feelings to the point that he doesn’t feel as connected to her. Also, just like women, men can become very conscious of their body image and if your husband has gained a few extra pounds he may feel wary of being physical.

Talking to him about the difficulties in the bedroom may feel like the right thing to do, but that’s not always the case. Men can withdraw even further when they are confronted with issues like this. If you’ve already tried bringing it up and he’s pulled back, you need to take another route to remedy it.

Try and pinpoint what you believe the problem is. If you feel that it’s related to the stress in his life, find ways to help alleviate that. Work with him to find a resolution if you two have been quarrelling about something. Risking the happiness of your marriage likely isn’t worth winning the argument. Compromise is a good thing in this case.

If you believe your husband is feeling unhappy with his body, get him back in shape. Start by working together to make healthier food choices and start exercising as a team. By working with him on this, you two will start to reconnect as a man and a woman again, and that will definitely help to up the desire level for both of you.

Specific things you say and do can make a man feel helplessly drawn to you. If you are convinced he is the one there are things you can do to ensure he only has eyes for you. For more insightful tips about understanding men including a way to get him to fall deeply in love with you, visit this informative site!

Have you tried every trick in the book and nothing is working to get that great guy to fall in love with you? Has he shown you the wonderful qualities he has and you think you guys could really hit it off if he would only gave you a chance? Do you wish you could learn the tricks that would really win you his heart? Guys can sure have us running around in circles sometimes. But here are a few ways you can get him to walk a straight line with you.

Never mind his libido; you need to concentrate your efforts on his emotions.

Just about every woman out there is doing the exact opposite of this. She’s going out there trying to look hotter than anyone else, and she’s got the walk and talk to go with the hot look as well. Sure, she’ll have a lot of guys looking her way. But honestly, how many of those men do you think are going to stick around long?

Most won’t be heard of again after a night or two, a few more may hang onto her in order to have something pretty on their arm, but none of them will open their heart to her at all.

If you really want to get the guy who’ll give you more than just a playful romp in bed, you need to show him that you have more and that you definitely want more.

Get to his emotions by building a friendly rapport with him. Open up the lines of communication and let him see that you’re a great woman to be around. Being attentive is one great way of doing this, but you should also consider keeping any trace of pressure out of this budding relationship. One could say that pressure is the number one killer of budding romances.

If you want your relationship to survive, open your heart and get close to his emotions and do this all while keeping any pressure for an impending romance off the table. When he realizes that you’re fun and easy to be with, he’ll fall in love with you.

How do other women make a guy fall in love? Other women have boy friends, lovers, and husbands. How do they do it? What is their secret? Is it something that you can do? The answer is, yes, absolutely. You, too, can make a guy fall in love – slowly but surely.

How? Think about this. Are men all that different than women? When we look into male psychology, do we see that men are looking for something entirely different than what women look for? Not at all. If you want to attract men, or attract that one special man, your soul mate, think about using as an attraction the same things that you look for in a guy. That is how to make a guy fall in love with you.

· You are no doubt attracted to men who are happy. Being happy is a huge attraction in the dating world. So do not be afraid to smile and laugh a lot. Try to be light hearted when appropriate. Of course, there are times when a more serious mood is correct, but if you project a happy personality, you will more likely be able to make a guy fall in love with you and make him commit to you for life.

· Good dating advice will include the suggestion to make sure that your personality is interesting. Have you ever gone out socially with someone who is just plain boring? Did you look forward to your next time together? Was that the kind of person you could fall in love with? Probably not. So, in order to be more interesting, take classes. Read books. Go places and do things. Never stop learning and experiencing things. These things will give you more to talk about and help to boost your self confidence.

Are you ready? It will be slow, but it can be sure if you follow these tips. They really work; they can help you to make a guy fall in love with you.

For more please visit http://www.africq.com/groups/relationship-talk/forum/
Religion / Man Becomes First Muslim In Britain To Marry In A Same-sex by Marawes: 2:35pm On Jul 12, 2017
http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article10774824.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/PAY-FIRST-GAY-MUSLIM-WEDDING.jpg

ahed Choudhury, 24, grew up feeling ostracised by the Muslim community because he was gay and was even sent on a religious pilgrimage to change his sexual orientation.


The "bullying" pushed Jahed to try and take his own life but Sean Rogan, 19, found him crying on a town bench and the newlyweds have not looked back since.

Jahed said: "This is about showing people I don't care, my family doesn't want to come on the day, they just don't want to see it, it's too embarrassing for them.
"I want to say to all people going through the same thing that's it's okay - we're going to show the whole world that you can be gay and Muslim."

At a low-key ceremony at Walsall registry office, Jahed from Darlaston, tied the knot in traditional Muslim attire with his partner of two years, Sean.

In what is seen as a cultural taboo for many traditional Muslims, Mr Choudhury is one of only a few openly-gay Muslim men and the first in the UK to marry another man.

Growing up with Bangladeshi parents and three siblings in a traditional Muslim household, Mr Choudhury recalls being the "black sheep" of the family.

He is now looking forward to a happy life with Mr Rogan, who he first met while crying on a bench in Darlaston.

Mr Choudhury said: "I'd not long overdosed and I was crying on a bench and Sean came over and asked if I was okay. He gave me hope at one of my lowest points and he's stood by me all the way."



"They think it's a disease and can be cured, some of my family still call it a phase.

For more please visit http://www.africq.com/forums/forum/religion/
Foreign Affairs / Supreme Court Reinstates Trump Travel Ban From Muslims Countries by Marawes: 5:20pm On Jun 26, 2017
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court is letting a limited version of President Donald Trump’s ban on travel from six mostly Muslim countries take effect, a victory for Trump in the biggest legal controversy of his young presidency.

The justices will hear full arguments in October in the case that has stirred heated emotions across the nation. In the meantime, the court said Monday that Trump’s ban on visitors from Iran, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria and Yemen can be enforced if those visitors lack a “credible claim of a bona fide relationship with a person or entity in the United States.”

Trump said last week that the ban would take effect 72 hours after being cleared by courts.

The administration has said the 90-day ban was needed on national security grounds to allow an internal review of screening procedures for visa applicants from the six countries. Opponents say the ban is unlawful, based on visitors’ Muslim religion. The administration review should be complete before Oct. 2, the first day the justices could hear arguments in their new term.

A 120-ban on refugees also is being allowed to take effect on a limited basis.

Three of the court’s conservative justices said they would have let the complete bans take effect.

Justice Clarence Thomas, joined by Samuel Alito and Neil Gorsuch, said the government has shown it is likely to succeed on the merits of the case, and that it will suffer irreparable harm with any interference. Thomas said the government’s interest in preserving national security outweighs any hardship to people denied entry into the country.

Some immigration lawyers said the limited nature of the ban and the silence of the court’s liberals on the issue Monday suggested that the court had not handed Trump much of a victory. The White House did not immediately comment.

The court’s opinion explained the kinds of relationships people from the six countries must demonstrate to obtain a U.S. visa.

“For individuals, a close familial relationship is required,” the court said. For people who want to come to the United States to work or study, “the relationship must be formal, documented and formed in the ordinary course, not for the purpose of evading” the travel ban.

The opinion faulted the two federal appeals courts that had blocked the travel policy for going too far to limit Trump’s authority over immigration. The president announced the travel ban a week after he took office in January and revised it in March after setbacks in court.

The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Richmond, Virginia, said the ban was “rooted in religious animus” toward Muslims and pointed to Trump’s campaign promise to impose a ban on Muslims entering the country as well as tweets and remarks he has made since becoming president.

The San Francisco-based 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said the travel policy does not comply with federal immigration law, including a prohibition on nationality-based discrimination. That court also put a hold on separate aspects of the policy that would keep all refugees out of the United States for 120 days and cut by more than half, from 110,000 to 50,000, the cap on refugees in the current government spending year that ends September 30.

Trump’s first executive order on travel applied to travelers from Iraq and well as the six countries, and took effect immediately, causing chaos and panic at airports over the last weekend in January as the Homeland Security Department scrambled to figure out whom the order covered and how it was to be implemented.

A federal judge blocked it eight days later, an order that was upheld by a 9th circuit panel. Rather than pursue an appeal, the administration said it would revise the policy.

In March, Trump issued the narrower order.

For more global events visit http://www.africq.com/forums/forum/international-affairs/
Nairaland / General / Re: That Feeling You Get When Your Guts Failed by Marawes: 9:43am On Jun 21, 2017
Disassociate urself and opt out of the Vaseline crew... u ll be fine. try it
Romance / Re: Why Do I Feel So Lousy, Angry, Sad, Unhappy, Jealous, Insecure, Anxiety, Etc? by Marawes: 1:45pm On Jun 20, 2017
God bless you my friend
Romance / Why Do I Feel So Lousy, Angry, Sad, Unhappy, Jealous, Insecure, Anxiety, Etc? by Marawes: 9:17am On Jun 20, 2017
“What is wrong with me?”, is a question I get quite often.

Honestly,,, nothing. In truth you are fine. There really is nothing wrong with you. That’s my perspective with everyone I talk to. And I talk to a lot of people because I do this professionally. The next question is:

“But I don’t feel fine. Why do I feel so lousy, (angry, sad, unhappy, jealous, insecure, anxiety, etc)?”

Because the emotions you feel are being created as responses to beliefs you have. Your beliefs are negative, fearful, anxiety ridden, and your emotions respond accordingly. Your emotions are responding perfectly to what is going on in your mind. The problem is that you are having negative and fearful thoughts running through your mind,,, and you are believing in them. How you feel emotionally is just a natural response to the beliefs you have. The important thing to understand is that YOU are not the problem. There is nothing wrong with you, it’s what is going on in your mind that is the problem. Your mind has thoughts and beliefs that are false and fear based. You are not those thoughts and beliefs. As a matter of fact,,, you aren’t even the one thinking them. Your mind is tossing them about your imagination all by itself.

In my approach I make a distinction between YOU, and your mind which is made up of your thoughts and beliefs. YOU are fine, but your mind is filled with false and fear based beliefs.

Some people will then ask, “But why am I thinking all these negative thoughts. And this is my point,,, YOU are not the one thinking those negative thoughts. Your mind is thinking them all on it’s own and taking you for a ride much like a daydream, or even a night time dream. Sometimes those daydreams turn into very focused horrific scenarios and can seem very real. Your emotional body can’t tell the difference between reality, and what you believe is reality so it reacts according to those dreams in your mind.

Your physiology and physical body can react as well. Your adrenalin will kick in when there is a fearful thought, as well as other fight or flight responses. You then might have the physical responses of those chemicals in your system as well as tightness in your muscles, shifts in your digestion, accelerated heart beat, on top of your emotional responses. Your specific reaction will depend on how fearful the thought is, how strongly you believe it, and how much awareness you have.

I have made a free audio podcast, “What is a belief?” and how it affects our mind and emotions that explains this in more detail.

Are you saying this is all in my head?

No. Some of your emotions might be from very real life experiences. Some of our emotions can be from real life events while some emotions are in response to what our mind projects. Suppose you are in the midst of a divorce. Your spouse is splitting up with you and now you are only seeing your children half time.

Those things are real and you are going to go through some emotional cycles as things change. Those are not part of what your mind is projecting and dreaming. Those are the facts. But the facts probably aren’t causing you as much unhappiness as the dreamed up scenarios your mind is spinning. Those might be how you have failed as a father, as a husband, that your life is ruined, that your kids lives are ruined, that they will be broken the rest of their life. Those are dreams you are having in your mind. They are imagined projections about how the rest of your life will turn out, or how your children’s lives will turn out. They are generally fearful, unhappy, and only exist as movies in your imagination; or what I call dreams in your mind. You might also call them thoughts or beliefs.

The distinction that is important to make here is between the facts, and what your mind projects onto the facts. Some of your emotions are a response to real life events. But many of your emotions, are from things you imagine. To have the clarity to perceive the difference between reality, and projections of the mind is what I call awareness. Awareness is critical to changing how you feel emotionally.

With awareness you first become aware of the thoughts, beliefs, opinions, and judgments the mind projects all by itself. Then notice how much of your emotions come from your mental projections. These are the emotions that are easiest to change. You will still likely have some emotions stemming from the reality of how your life is changing. These emotions can and will change too with some more attention and practice. It is also much easier to change these emotions once you don’t have the added layer of emotions coming from your negative thoughts and fear based beliefs.

What you discover in this process is that YOU don’t have to change. That’s because you are not the problem. You are fine. The problem is with the negative thoughts and false beliefs in your mind causing all those emotional reactions. When you change the interpretations your mind makes, your emotional state changes. Then you are back on your way to feeling fine again. This is why developing awareness is the key to lasting happiness.

Even the question, “What is wrong with me?” is a combination of thoughts and false beliefs. It is built on the assumed belief that:

a) There is something wrong with me.

b) I don’t know what is wrong so that is another problem of not knowing.

c) I should know what is wrong with me but I don’t so I feel confused because I don’t know something my belief system says I should know.

All of these thoughts have us chasing some phantom idea that there is something wrong with us. Why don’t we find it,,, because there is nothing wrong with us. Yes we feel bad, but that is because we are caught up in these assumed beliefs that there is something wrong. It’s like we got on the wrong line of questioning and it is taking us into a nightmare dream that there are no answers for. It’s equivalent to spending time trying to answer the question, “What is the smell of piano music?” It’s a nonsense question and we would be wasting our time trying to answer it. The same is true for the question, “What is wrong with me?

We are much better served asking questions like:

What do I believe that isn’t true? Is the thought my mind is thinking helpful to making me happy? What assumptions are behind that thought that make it not true? How are those false beliefs affecting me emotionally? What are the steps to changing these beliefs?

Go to the Self Mastery Course for practical steps to finding and changing your false and fear based beliefs. By using the tools you learn in the course you will develop awareness about what is going on in your mind and have the tools to change it.

For more articles please visit http://www.africq.com/forums/forum/word-of-wisdom/
Romance / Re: Hidden Causes Of Anger. What Causes Anger? What Makes A Person Angry? by Marawes: 9:00am On Jun 20, 2017
If you want learn you must take your time and carefully read.
Business / Some African Economies To Watch Out In 2017 by Marawes: 7:43am On Jun 19, 2017
With the consequences of Brexit and an increasingly inward-looking United States still unfolding, 2017 is likely to be an economically tumultuous year. Some African countries, however, could see sustainable growth beyond the usual narrative of Africa alternatively “rising” and “reeling.”

“The countries that will be successful in 2017—whatever will happen in the global economy—are the countries which are diversifying their economies,” says Richard Attias, a consultant and former producer of the World Economic Forum in Davos.
Attias believes that countries that will enjoy real growth in the year ahead are those focusing on renewable energy, as well as those moving toward industrialization and manufacturing. New energy sources allow countries to build new industries while stabilizing their power grids and diversifying beyond fossil fuels. Manufacturing gets countries to process raw materials domestically.

Attias hopes 2017 will be the year of the African product label. “We would be proud to see ‘Made in Africa,’” he says. “This would be the turning point, the really important turning point of making this continent sustainable, rich and looking forward to the future.”

On the flipside, Africa’s two economic giants are not likely to have a good year. Nigeria’s security situation and the political uncertainty and high profile corruption scandals plaguing South Africa have damaged both country’s reputations as Africa’s economic champions, Attias says. African economies reliant on extractive industries are also unlikely to enjoy sustainable growth in 2017. Africa’s largest oil producer, Angola, for example, is expected to suffer from rocketing inflation, a plunging currency, and an unstable oil price.
As these giants falter, this could be the time for francophone Africa to step up. Slow to benefit from the euphoria of the “Africa Rising” period of rapid economic growth on the continent, several francophone countries are now seizing investment opportunities. As African nations increase collaboration, the trick will be learning to communicate effectively in each others’ languages, in order to boost economic activity.
Here are some of the African economics investors will be watching in 2017:
Cote d’Ivoire

Africa’s fastest growing economy is likely to maintain its lead in 2017, the World Economic Forum predicts. After a bloody political crisis in 2011 left more than 3,000 people dead, Cote d’Ivoire struggled to convince the world that it had turned a political and economic corner. The peaceful re-election of president Alassane Ouattara in 2015, along with its four-year National Development Plan, went some way in rebuilding investor confidence. That National Development Plan has been extended from 2016 to 2020, with $15.4 billion worth of foreign investments in the form of grants and credits.

Attias believes sustained growth will come from Cote d’Ivoire’s ambitions to become a regional energy hub. The country has several renewable energy projects underway; several remain in the pilot phase. In diversifying its economy and encouraging a growing middle class, Cote d’Ivoire has also seen its retail sector grow. All this could see Abidjan regain its 1970s-era boomtown status.

Senegal

Launching a high-speed train link between the new Blaise Diagne International Airport and central Dakar is symbolic of a country determined to forge ahead, Attias says. After several years of growth below 5%, Senegal’s GDP grew by 6.5% in 2015, making it the second fastest growing economy in Africa, according to the World Bank. Economists believe this trend will continue in 2017.

Along with political stability, the government’s economic plan will continue to attract investors. The Plan for an Emerging Senegal (pdf), launched in 2014, covers projects ranging from infrastructure and transport, energy and water and sanitation developments.

Togo

Togo, a tiny sliver of a country between Ghana and Benin, is modeling itself on the economic successes of Singapore and Dubai. The West African country has spent its growing GDP on infrastructure projects, most notably the development of port of Lome, a natural deep water port that will serve West and central Africa.

Togo has also eased restrictions on business owners, cutting down on the amount of time it takes to set up a business from 38 days in 2012 to 10 days in 2014 and 2015, according to African Economic Outlook, an economic analysis project. To ensure that revenue benefits the country via the proper channels, it has also set up an anti-corruption body, which saw its international transparency ratings improve.

Benin

Togo’s neighbor has not been as ambitious, but shows promise. Benin’s economic growth has been consistent, but dipped slightly in recent years due to lower cotton production. Still, Attias believes the country’s political stability in the last decade and a new economic plan will bring the necessary growth.
The country’s economy lacks diversity, and is largely reliant on agricultural production (pdf). Still, under recently elected president Patrice Talon, a businessman turned politician, the government has committed to reforming its cotton industry and diversifying its economy. Planned investments in the country’s ports, a stronger power grid, and development of the telecommunications industry could lead to sustainable growth—if the state follows through on its economic plans.
Morocco

Home to Africa’s largest wind farm, Morocco is also turning its focus to renewable energy. The Tarfaya complex stretches into the Sahara desert and is perhaps the largest testament of King Mohammed VI’s ambitions for his country to become a global leader in green energy. Next on the agenda: building the world’s largest solar farm.
King Mohammed VI of Morocco (L) stands with Ethiopia’s Prime Minister Hailemariam Desalegn at the National palace during his state visit to Ethiopia’s capital Addis Ababa

The king sees Morocco as a gateway to Europe and has recently pursued increased economic cooperation with other African nations, says Attias, who is a Moroccan national. Toward the end of 2016, Morocco signed a deal with Nigeria to jointly construct a gas pipeline to Europe. King Mohamed VI also travelled to Madagascar, Ethiopia, Burkina Faso, Rwanda and Tanzania, where he signed bilateral agreements and lucrative economic deals.

For more on African matters visit http://www.africq.com/forums/forum/investment-opportunities-in-africa/
Romance / Hidden Causes Of Anger. What Causes Anger? What Makes A Person Angry? by Marawes: 7:29am On Jun 19, 2017
What makes a person angry? Why do we get angry over the smallest things and blow up out of proportion with what is happening? Why do we get angry at the people we love and care about? Anger can appear to be irrational but if you learn to look below the surface you will find the real causes of anger. When you find the real causes you can successfully overcome your anger.

Hidden Causes of Anger on a Family Vacation

Jack is upper middle class, educated, and came from a good home. He loves and respects his wife Emily and adores his kids. There’s no apparent reason for Jack to have angry outbursts but he does.

Jack was driving his wife and two kids to the beach town for a planned family vacation. Then in an effort to tidy up the car his wife Emily grabbed some trash from the center console to put in a bag. Before he could realize why, Jack snapped at her with anger in his voice, “Just leave that alone.” There was such venom in his voice that Emily pulled away and sat quietly in her seat not moving. The boys in the back seat went silent as well.

Jack was surprised at his own outburst and proceeded to judge himself for acting irrationally. From the self judgment he felt small, stupid, and guilty. This is not how a well educated, successful, family man is supposed to behave. Wanting the whole incident, and how he felt about it, to just go away, he attempted to ignore it. In trying to bury it he didn’t apologize to Emily. The inner judge in his mind remembered though, and kept judging himself for his uncontrolled anger.

This wasn’t the first time that Jack got angry like this. This is just part of a pattern. Jack has snapped at his wife with anger for years often without even a preceding thought as to why. It happens so fast that there is nothing preceding his emotional reaction to tell him why he was angry. It’s confused him why this happens because he really loves and appreciates her.

Without knowing the cause of his anger Jack had no idea how to change it. Mostly he has tried to push it aside. That has worked for a while but somewhere down the road another outburst would happen. His failure at controlling his anger has been cause for feeling like a failure. That all changed as Jack developed self awareness.

Awareness allows you to see what causes Anger

Jack took some time to practice some exercises and develop awareness about his anger. He found some interesting things that he hadn’t seen before. He found the cause of his anger.

First of all Jack loves his wife and has a tremendous amount of respect for her. He is amazed at how efficient she is. She takes care of the house, home schooling the kids, meals, and keeps everything so neat and clean. Oddly enough these elements are part of the interpretations and beliefs in his mind that trigger anger.

There is an inner judge in Jack’s mind that compares him to Emily. According to the inner judge Jack makes more messes than he cleans up, isn’t organized, and not nearly as patient and attentive to their children. When Jack’s inner judge makes those comparisons Jack ends up feeling unworthy, and “not good enough.” Jack’s inner judge makes those comparisons and self judgments all the time. Those feelings of unworthiness are painful wounds that fester in Jacks’ emotional mind. As much as he attempts to push them away their pressure and energy build over time under the surface.

A natural reaction to pain or being hurt is anger. It’s part of the instinctive animal nature of any being. When we perceive a danger of being hurt, the fight mechanism of anger helps to ensure our protection. The misleading element is when our mind perceives the cause incorrectly.

In Jack’s perception he feels hurt when he is around his wife. When she is busy taking care of the household and keeping things neat and clean is when Jack most often makes comparisons in his mind. That’s when he feels the emotional pain. The assumption in Jack’s belief system has associated pain being caused by Emily. He is not aware that the real cause of his emotional pain is from self judgment based on his comparisons to Emily. It is Jack’s belief in his self image as a failure when compared to her that is hurting him self emotionally.

Jacks’ belief system has associated feeling hurt with the trigger of his wife Emily. For protection Jack’s mind pushes Emily away with anger in order to stop his pain. It was obvious to Jack that Emily wasn’t the cause of his anger, and that was very confusing until he became aware of these other layers.

However a person’s belief system doesn’t necessarily operate on rationality. It operates based on beliefs and assumptions. We often aren’t aware of how our beliefs operate and how they create our emotions so they may seem hidden. These beliefs aren’t really hidden. It’s just that we haven’t gone looking at them before. Too often we accept our first thoughts about things or the surface level assumption without reflecting deeper.

For Jack it was the unconscious comparisons and self judgments driven by these hidden beliefs that caused his angry outbursts. Not being able to see these beliefs had nothing to do with being stupid. Jack is plenty intelligent and has advanced degrees to back it up. The causes of anger are often difficult to see only because we haven’t developed our awareness of what to look for or how the belief system in the mind operates.

Jack didn’t know that self judgments were part of what was creating his emotional pain. He also didn’t know how he was using his beliefs about his wife as a basis for comparison for those self judgments. He wasn’t aware that emotional pain can be a cause of anger. He also wasn’t’ ware how emotions can build up over time until our efforts to keep them repressed slip and produce an outburst over the smallest triggering event.

Jack wasn’t aware of what was making him angry all those years because he didn’t have awareness of what was going on in his belief system in his mind. He wasn’t aware of how several different beliefs and thoughts combined together to produce the emotion of anger.

Changing the Causes of Anger

The appearance of things was that his wife was somehow triggering her anger. In a way she was. But she wasn’t the cause. Emily was just triggering the beliefs of self judgment that were already in place. Those beliefs and self judgments would still be there whether Emily was in the picture or not. There’s a distinct difference between triggers and causes of anger. When you don’t have awareness of the underlying beliefs you can make the mistake of focusing on the trigger and missing the cause.

It was a great relief for Jack to discover what the real cause of his anger was. Before he could only see the triggers and they didn’t make sense. They were always out of proportion with how much anger he felt. He had tried for years to just repress his emotions with will power and now he could see why that didn’t work. Over time more pressure of emotions would just build up until it eventually had to get vented.

Once Jack became aware of the self judgment and self rejection from the inner judge he directed his efforts at dissolving them. By eliminating the self judgments Jack no longer has those painful feelings of unworthiness and not being good enough. Without those painful feelings there is no anger from the fight or flight mechanism in his mind.

The result is that there’s no anger to control or manage because there is none.

Not every person creates anger in the same way. Each person has different beliefs and interpretations in their mind that produce emotions in their own individual way. However, they often have similar patterns. Only through awareness will you be able to see your own individual pattern and change them.

When you gain the awareness of how the different elements of your mind operate, and apply some effective tools and techniques for change, you can eliminate the cause of your anger and unhappiness. For exercises and practices to find the cause of your emotions and change the underlying beliefs listen to the Self Mastery Audio Sessions. The first couple are free. Or you can work with Gary personally through individual coaching sessions.

For more articles visit http://www.africq.com/forums/forum/word-of-wisdom/
Nairaland / General / Liberal Mosque Is Open Where All Muslims Can Pray Together, Women And Gay by Marawes: 12:22pm On Jun 18, 2017
BERLIN — Seyran Ates’ vision of a liberal mosque where all Muslims can pray together — women and men, Sunni and Shiite, straight and gay — is almost a reality, and the 54-year-old daughter of Turkish guest workers in Germany is ecstatic as she enters the light-flooded room undergoing its final touches.

“I couldn’t be more euphoric, it’s a dream come true,” Ates said with a smile as she touched the white carpet that three Turkish workers were laying out in the freshly painted room.

Ates, a well-known women’s rights activist and lawyer, has fought for eight years to establish a place of prayer for progressive Muslims in Germany where they can leave their religious conflicts behind and focus on their shared Islamic values. The mosque, which opens Friday, will be the first of its kind for liberal Muslims in Germany, Ates said.

“This project was long overdue,” she said during an interview with The Associated Press this week. “There’s so much Islamist terror and so much evilness happening in the name of my religion … it’s important that we, the modern and liberal Muslims, also show our faces in public.”

The mosque is named Ibn-Rushd-Goethe-Mosque, combining the names of medieval Andalusian philosopher Ibn Rushd and German writer Johann Wolfgang Goethe. It is located on a busy shopping street in the immigrant neighborhood of Moabit, which is dotted with Indian and Vietnamese restaurants and Middle Eastern cafes.

“To get started, we’ve rented this room for one year,” Ates said.

More than 4 million Muslims live in Germany, the majority from Turkey but also from the Balkans, the Middle East and Northern Africa.

Most started coming to Germany in the 1960s as workers to help rebuild the economy after World War II. While it was Germany’s intention to send them home after a few years, many stayed and brought over their families. More recently, Germany has taken in more than 1 million refugees since 2015, most of them Muslims from war-torn countries like Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan.

Relations between the country’s majority Christian population and the Muslim minority traditionally have been complicated. They have been strained by several terror attacks in Germany by Muslims in the name of the extremist Islamic State group. Raids on, and bans of, radical Muslim associations and arrests of extremist suspects have become commonplace.

Ates said the new mosque will be a place of liberalism where everyone is welcome and equal. Women don’t have to wear headscarves, can preach as imams and call the faithful to prayer just like men.

“There won’t be any hate preaching against democracy here,” Ates said. Instead, followers can express doubt about their beliefs and approach their religion with sense and reason instead of blind devotion, she said.

Ates, who was shot and almost died while working as a counselor for Turkish women in 1984 and was attacked by an enraged husband, waved aside any potential worries about threats or criticism from more conservative Muslims.

“I’ve received a few messages via social media, mostly full of expletives,” she said. “But 95 percent of the feedback has been beautiful and positive.”

Turks, Kurds and Arabs alike have donated money, businesspeople have called to offer help with creating signage and advertisements and several Middle Eastern restaurants will deliver free food for the iftar, the breaking of the Ramadan fast on Friday night, she said.

Ates’ sister brought 30 green prayer rugs from Istanbul a few weeks ago, and an Indonesian interior architect has offered her services to refurbish the 90-square-meter (970-square-foot) room.

For the future, she and colleagues dream of building a real mosque with several prayer rooms for believers of all the different Islamic sects as well as an academy devoted to the education of liberal imams, male and female.

Ates herself will preach at the opening ceremony on Friday.

“I will start studying Islamic theology and Arabic in Berlin this fall,” she said. “I want to become an imam myself.”

for more stories visit http://www.africq.com/forums/forum/international-affairs/
Nairaland / General / Critical Issues Facing Africa: Terrorism, War, And Political Violence by Marawes: 11:31am On Jun 18, 2017
During 2014, along with the horrific outbreak of Ebola in West Africa, the continent as a whole experienced one of the more turbulent years in its recent history with widespread protests, unrest, civil wars, and insurgencies. The most recent flare-up of this new wave of violence resulted in Boko Haram’s deadliest attack ever, the massacre of an estimated 2,000 people in the northeastern village of Doron Baga.

In the wake of this attack, American policymakers must acknowledge the threats that ongoing conflicts in Africa have to the well-being, safety, and interests of the citizens of African states and those of U.S. citizens living and working abroad.

The more stable that Africa becomes, the better able the United States and its citizens will be able to pursue humanitarian and economic relationships with African states and their citizens. The more unstable that Africa becomes, the more the people of Africa will suffer at the hands of opportunistic, militant actors like Boko Haram and al Shabaab, the more volatility will manifest itself in world markets, and the less able the U.S. and its partners will be able to accomplish their humanitarian and developmental aims. Most troublingly, many conflicts currently taking place in Africa, like Boko Haram’s insurgency and the Second Libyan Civil War, are intensifying and spreading to surrounding states, increasing the risk of negative outcomes.
Critical Issues Facing Africa: Terrorism, War, and Political Violence
Captured Boko Haram Weaponry, Via Heather Murdoch/VOA
Critical Issues Facing Africa: Terrorism, War, and Political Violence
Posted By John Bugnacki on Jan 17, 2015
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During 2014, along with the horrific outbreak of Ebola in West Africa, the continent as a whole experienced one of the more turbulent years in its recent history with widespread protests, unrest, civil wars, and insurgencies. The most recent flare-up of this new wave of violence resulted in Boko Haram’s deadliest attack ever, the massacre of an estimated 2,000 people in the northeastern village of Doron Baga.

In the wake of this attack, American policymakers must acknowledge the threats that ongoing conflicts in Africa have to the well-being, safety, and interests of the citizens of African states and those of U.S. citizens living and working abroad.

The more stable that Africa becomes, the better able the United States and its citizens will be able to pursue humanitarian and economic relationships with African states and their citizens. The more unstable that Africa becomes, the more the people of Africa will suffer at the hands of opportunistic, militant actors like Boko Haram and al Shabaab, the more volatility will manifest itself in world markets, and the less able the U.S. and its partners will be able to accomplish their humanitarian and developmental aims. Most troublingly, many conflicts currently taking place in Africa, like Boko Haram’s insurgency and the Second Libyan Civil War, are intensifying and spreading to surrounding states, increasing the risk of negative outcomes.

AMISOM Troops on Mogadishu’s Frontline (UN Photo/Stuart)

In this vein, the American Security Project (ASP) is proud to release “Critical Issues Facing Africa: Terrorism, War, and Political Violence,” featuring data from the Armed Conflict Location & Event Data Project (ACLED). This report blends together powerful quantitative and qualitative analyses to show how political violence in Africa unfolded during 2014, how it changed from 2013 – 2014, and how it will change going into 2015. Explore the data yourself through nine interactive charts.

The following three topics – “Overview of Political Violence in Africa During 2014”, “Trends in Political Violence in Africa Over Time”, and “Major Ongoing Conflicts in Africa During 2014 – 2015” – are at the core of Africa’s security challenge.

For more about challenges in Africa visit http://www.africq.com/forums/forum/capacity-building-in-africa/
Romance / The Psychology Behind Love And Romance by Marawes: 11:15am On Jun 18, 2017
We spend our lives craving it, searching for it, and talking about it. Its meaning is felt more than it is clearly expressed. It’s called the greatest virtue.

It’s love.

Love is fascinating and complex. Romantic love, in particular, seems to be a beautiful mystery we find hard to explain.

Although poets and songwriters can put many of our romantic thoughts and feelings into words, love is so inexplicable we need the help of science to explain it. After all, psychologists have a lot to say about how and why people fall in love.

This is Your Brain on Love
During romantic love there are many changes that both men and women experience. It seems rather inaccurate to say “falling in love” because experiencing love is more of a high that puts people on cloud nine.

“The first step in the process of falling in love is the initial attraction,” says Elizabeth Kane, a South University adjunct faculty member who teaches clinical psychology and behavioral science. “It’s the powerful moment when we meet another person and feel energized and are immediately aware of our heart pounding.”

According to licensed psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle, specific chemical substances such as oxytocin, phenethylamine, and dopamine, have been found to play a role in human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love. They function similar to amphetamine, making us alert, excited, and wanting to bond.

It’s the powerful moment when we meet another person and feel energized and are immediately aware of our heart pounding.
“Falling in love is associated with increased energy, narrowing of mental focus, sometimes sweaty palms, light-headedness, racing heart, and a lot of positive feelings,” says Needle, an associate professor and coordinator of Clinical Experiences at South University, West Palm Beach.

In his book, The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life, Dr. Daniel G. Amen says “that romantic love and infatuation are not so much of an emotion as they are motivational drives that are part of the brain’s reward system.”

Kane agrees, saying that the human brain supports falling in love, which is why we have such a strong physiological response when we are attracted to another. Once a romantic couple begins to spend time together, they are in a sort of love euphoria.

“A person newly in love sees the world through the lens of love and most everything is tolerable and everything their partner does is delightful,” says Kane, who is also a marriage and family therapist.

According to the triangular theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, the three components of love are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy encompasses feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and bondedness. Passion encompasses drives connected to both limerance and sexual attraction. Commitment encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long term, the shared achievements and plans made with that other person.

“Romantic love evolves when one feels a sense of interdependence, attachment, and that their psychological needs are being met,” Kane says. “Some researchers say oxytocin plays a part in the evolution of romantic love as it is released in the brain during orgasm, which contributes to the couple’s ability to bond with one another.”

For more romantic lessons go to http://www.africq.com/groups/relationship-talk/forum/
Jokes Etc / A Farmer Is Being Interviewed About His Cows by Marawes: 6:28am On Feb 20, 2017
A farmer is being interviewed about his cows

Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one? The Black one or the brown one?
Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer: And the black one?
Farmer: A couple of litres per day.
Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black.
Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one?
Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one?
Farmer: It’s also mine

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Jokes Etc / A Black Man And A White Man Walk Into A Bakery by Marawes: 7:45pm On Jan 19, 2017
The white man immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the black man, “See how good I am? The owner didn’t see a thing.” The black man says to the white man, “That’s typical of you white people. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a black magic trick.” Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The black man swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the black man swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too. The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, “So what did you do with the pastries?”
The black man replies, “Look in the white mans back pocket…..” ha ha ha

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