VOsimhen144:
https://www.nairaland.com/7037078/how-tell-im-not-interested
Sequel to my previous post I created sometime ago. I want to thank everyone for their advice. The lady and I have started dating, Although today makes it a week we're dating.

Easter Sunday, I took her to Kada Plaza, we saw a movie, we had good time together. She explained to me why she is not married. 2015 when she finished her NYSC, the man she was dating back then got her pregnant as an assurance he was gonna settle down with her. But he deceived her.

She was 3 weeks pregnant when the man ran away with her life savings (#4M), Life was a living hell for her that period. She had to do abortion, she explained lots of things to me...

She kept all the evidence since 2014. She showed me lots of hidden chat, pictures and transactions in her laptop that pertains to her and the man. (last seen was Oct. 7 2015). Someone told her the man is in Czech Republic, he's married with kids. I really felt her pains.

I went to check up on her yesterday evening (first time) after I closed from the shop. We kissed and nothing more, she even insist I stay over but I came with my elder brother's car and he needs to go to work with it as early as possible today.

This lady loves me so much, she's intelligent, pretty, she speaks fluently and she's not billing me, she is working, I'm hustling too.

Please she's not trying to manipulate me neither am I Simping but truth be told I love her too. My elder brother is not fully in support of our relationship but he said as long as I'm happy in the relationship, there's no problem. I don't know if I'm taking the right move.

well it is expedient of you to pray about her and try to take her for a fertility test to know if her womb has not ruptured from the abortion cos she did it at a matured age...best of luck bro

Vevejoy:
Plesse forget the errors and focus on the content.

So here's my issue.

I've been married for 6yrs and it's been a blissful journey- of course with minor issues here and there but nothing to worry about until May 5th 2020 when I'd say things turned upside down.

We live abroad and struggled to have kids but God finally blessed us with a beautiful daughter in Sept 2019. Child care being super expensive here, we wanted one of our moms to come help us with the baby when I return to work after my maternity leave. So on the eve of our wedding anniversary which was the 4th of May last year, I asked my husband for the say 10th time about beginning the procedure of bringing a mom over to help since I'll be returning to work. He asked which mom and I said in my exact words; "of course my mom" because I know that when a woman gives birth, her mom usually go to help her. Did that change our story? My God, marriage has been one hell of a thing since that day.

My husband said I am selfish, disrespectful, and want to dominate him. He said things will never be the same again and since then, my marriage has been a stress zone.

My husband is numb to my feelings. He's been ignoring me, I've been a nag I'll admit since tue incident last year. I now talk alot and mostly complain about everything whenever we are together. It's sad and I've actually had conversations with myself to ignore him and stop nagging but I continue to do it, I need help on how to shut up and observe.

I can cry from now to die kingdom come and this man wouldn't be moved. He cannot shift his stance because of me at all. He does whatever he likes and disregard everything I say. E.g before this crisis, we had an appointment to see our Dr to start trying for baby number two because the Dr's advised that since we just had a baby, it's best to try for another soonest given that we had challenges conceiving the first one. This man cancelled the appointment with our Dr and has blatantly refused to start trying for a baby right now. He says when the time comes he'll let me know. Up till now the time has not come despite the fact that delaying may impact our chance of conceiving again. What a life!� � �.

Also, he has decided that no parent will come and I'm back to work already. My poor baby who use to sleep till 9am now suffer in this winter getting up at 6am to be dropped off at daycare all because her father is angry and want to make sure he doesn't do anything that will make his wife smile. He'll rather spend thorns of money paying for daycare even after I've told him that I don't mind his mom coming. Mind u, I have a very good relationship with my inlaws, especially my mom inlaw so it's not an inlaw fight.

The worst of them all is that despite living abroad for 17yrs, this man believes so much in native doctors to the extend that I can't even explain. Infact it's something that I've always fought him about and talked against. I've even complained about it to his family. And guess what, when I talk against, he tells his native drs who of course has ignited the fire in our home. Can you believe that in this chaos this man took me on a vacation in August last year that he wanted to clear his mind so we can start a new chapter and be happy again only to tell me that I have been trying to use a charm on him in the past months thats why things got rough. He said the 3 women I am using appeared to him but he is stronger ����. I am laughing because I felt pity and ashamed for him. How can a grown man be this vulnerable to suitsayers? I have never in my entire life visited a native doctor for myself not to talk of going to take a charmI didn'tvisit the native drs when I was strugglingto have a baby and this man thinks I'llvisit one now to charm him. Wondering y he will even believe such a thing. Infact I don't even know any native doctor. So when he said that, I told him that if I had known that his change of attitude is because of this stupid reason, I would not have fought for my marriage like I did. Of course I got so mad and told him a piece of my mind. I am even ashamed of telling people that despite this man's exposure he consults native Dr's in Africa more than even the people in Africa. Infact if they say yes that's what he listens to. He has even paid a flight from here to Africa because a native Dr told him that his dad who raised him to be the man he is today is trying to kill him and he should come for protection.

I decided to tell his mom about the accusation. His mom told me she scolded at him and warned him never to say such nonsense. Well I just pity him and I'm praying for him. But truth is I regret my marriage to him because of these his believes. I just don't believe in divorce and don't even have the heart to move out I would have done so. Mind u, I am 100% independent so it's not an issue of being scared of surviving alone.

Well one Sunday night as usual I talked to him like crazy and he said "all he wants is for our relationship to work and he will put in his best effort with support from me. I said I want same and will put in my best effort with support from him too*. This happened around september and things have been like normal on and off since then.

I have a few worries which I'd like you to advise me on the way forward.
- My husband is heartless. No matter how I lament, cry, beg, approach him nicely. Infact no matter the manner in which I bring up an issue to him, he doesn't get moved at all. He stays on his stance and doesn't care. How am I suppose to live with a man like this. He goes mute when I try having a conversation with him.

- I have a weakness of talking alot which I acknowledge and I'm doing my best to work on it though I'm yet to change completely. But I can say there's a huge improvement. Infact I'm able to walk away now.

Can a marriage really work out out without a compromise from both parties? I feel like I am compromising alot but this man is doing whatever he likes. In all of these he doesn't cheat but has abused me physically 4times in our 6yrs of marriage which I'm still pained about. The worst abuse right now is emotional abuse and I've told him so several times.

We use to be an exemplary and happy couple up till this may 2020. What will you do in a situation like mine With? With a man like my husband who I'd say lacks empathy and a concience how do I deal with him? His mom said she talked to him but I don't see any difference.

I feel miserable right now in my marriage. Since I got married this is our hardest hit and unfortunately it got prolonged probably bc of his native Dr's who told him I am using a charm on him which he believed.


Help me out please

Jesus is missing in this home obviously.. you need to become genuinely saved so as to be able to teach your daughter to follow the right path..as for your husband,he will come around when he sees u are genuinely saved

Serene123:


I have gone as far as secretly getting access to her WhatsApp. I didn't see any single chat with her and the guy nor another person. But the calls just keep pisisng me off.

I realised I shouldn't have gone that far. I should have just be calmed and let her do her wish

in my own opinion as a married man with 2kids and years of experience in a marriage...I think that lady has a tendency of cheating and keeping secrets from u in the future..the reason is simply becos..she could have easily handed over that phone to u when u dragged it with her just to gain your trust or even go to the length of calling the guy on a speakerphone in your presence and question the guy to say the truth of what has been going on between them so as to put your mind at rest on that issue...she doesn't know that those little things actually cement the trust of a man in his woman..for her to have broken a nail while dragging the phone,shows she can fight with the last drop of her blood to keep a secret of another thing that could have broken your heart on that phone...when u see a reliable lady, naturally u will know she's the one for u bro..pls be wise bro

Valenciabaddie:
Hi Guys ..
I need serious matured advice . I have been dating this guy for about a year now ,
When I met him he was jobless but living comfortable due to his parents wealth ,.
I'm 25 and he's 3 years older than me , my problem is that he's too spiritual , he always have bad dreams and because of this he is always going to a celestial church and this makes him bring fetish things home like candles and substances in white container ..

I go to a Pentecostal church but I still continue the relationship and also follow him to his church sometimes.. but lately he brought this black soap home which smells bad and to make matters worse he always wake up at a specific time at night .To have the bath ..

M feeling uncomfortable with him and im beginning to lose interest in him due to these because I don't believe in all this fetish things .What do u guys think ? I'm I overreacting?

he is actually into fetishness..it's not too late for u to retrace your steps backwards..he is actually deep into these things and this might take a bad toll on your destiny in life..be wise dear sis

korilala:
Blackmailed By My Ex!!! Don't Know What To Do.

I dated this lady several years back but due to her promiscuity we broke up but by then she was pregnant for me.

When my daughter clocked 3, I asked for my daughter to stay with me (she's staying with her mother's family) but she gave me a condition. That I forgive her and forget the past and we should plan a future together with our daughter. For my daughter's sake I accepted and she moved in with us but alas she still messages her ex and still reaches out to them. I confronted her again today and her reply to me is "you better don't kill yourself."

We're not married but every time I tell her to leave she threatens to take our daughter who is only five years old and who has grown a strong bond to me.

Mods in the house please advise me.

u are sitting on a gunpowder by planning to settle down to a promiscuous lady..I would like you to do a dNA test on that child first..move on with your life and claim the custody of that child later

kepstone:
You married a woman that loves you bro...... keep her

thanks bro...am trying my best

Do u know tomorrow?what if things u just finished a project and u are little broke?so she will still leave u to bear all responsibilities?this is a strong red light for u...I had no job for the first five years of my marriage and my wife carried every responsibilities in love and now I have multiple streams of income to cater for my family..red light loading bro

VicThoria:
Hi everyone .
Please i need help oo, i'm chocolate in complexion. I've been using bronztone cream for some months, i was on the second lotion when i started noticing dark knuckles,green veins, sun burn and I started getting too fair

So i stopped it some weeks ago and i haven't been applying anything on my body

I dont want to use any cream again for now. do i need to use anything to get back my natural chocolate color back? or it will come back with time?

Ori shea butter works in a matter of days..just apply it to the affected areas overnight.. you will start seeing noticeable good change in 5days

Kondomatic:
Laureta, Igbokwe and Garba are very very stupid

it really pains me that u dint mention Femi adeshina..why are u this cruel?

That your obsession will kill your dreams...u better return from that dangerous path

Does anyone knows if telpecon, golden bridge and commonwealth grants are scam too?

University of ado ekiti... Science faculty ... Chemistry dept... Adefemi... Isotope...fagbuaro... God is watching u

NwaAmaikpe:



I'd never understand how men find women who don't use makeup attractive?
I'd never fully understand how they'd even feel something for a woman whose face is as bland as someone being prepared for embalment.

Religious doctrines are our undoing. Nowhere in the bible was makeup outlawed.
How will women who can't paint their faces make a colourful home?

are u married at all? Or u are just being sarcastic... I shake my head for people that liked your comments...

Thanks everyone

chinchonglee:
Go n do menial jobs.

Do u av a skill?

ok thanks.. But am planning on going for cybersecurity training or project management but no fund yet..

carzola:
Everybody is going tru something now..
Nobody wey this Buhari regimen never touch. .

Hang in there cause we are all hanging too.
Everything is on God.

thanks

ladyGKilaBCrueD:
I teh you

thanks

ladyGKilaBCrueD:
hang in there..

ok.. Hugs

Pls dont mind my grammatical errors
.. I am married with 2 kids without a job for close to 6 years now.. I tired of life and i have no helper
. Can somebody advise me om what to do
? I just need advise of people who had been through this though situation before and how they came about help.. Help am depressed..