CyracksMrBlogger:
karma at work here.

Karma from?

Ccchat:
Your story is full of lies and the earlier you tell the truth, the better for you. You claimed you have BP and you are not aroused by your wife, how then are you aroused by other women with the same BP? Secondly, when you say your wife doesn't live with you, you also lie, so we won't ask you "How can you be living with a woman and won't get aroused?" and if you are not impotent, why is she or the other women you claimed you slept with not pregnant yet? I'm sure you have not slept with that woman since you got married to her and you refused to let her go because of your selfish ambition (you wanted a child) because I'm 100% sure you know your problems already. The simple truth is that you are impotent and you should be in your late 30s and what you don't know is that the sperm that comes out of you once in 3/4 months can not impregnate a woman until treated. I think too much intake of junk, carbonated drinks, alcohol, infection,..., has rendered so many men impotent and they don't know until they are married in their late 30s. There is still a solution if your case is not severe, first of all, you need to be sincere so you can get help

Totally way offpoint.

Kobojunkie:
1. Well, I think you first need to be honest with her— tell her the whole entire truth —everything including your philandering. If she wishes to continue after hearing the truth from you, then you two should consider sex therapy and maybe mental health therapy should the problem persists beyond that.

Tell her bawo? What will that do to help her? Hopefully it doesn't have to get to that. Tho I alrdy told my family what's up.

Kobojunkie:
But what you described is mental in scope and even dates cannot solve mental issues.

I would have suggested sex therapy along with maybe mental counseling on your part given the loss you revealed you and your wife had suffered BUT your OP says that would probably not work at all and this because of you.

So after all claims and counterclaims, what would you advice?

Kobojunkie:
OP'S problem is not a side-effect of medication he is taking. I think he already knows that much. So how do you power a marriage for life with libido boosters? Won't that take a toll on a person's health?

There r libido boosting natural foods like dates etc. I cant even use drugs for that.

blaise26abj:


Thanks jare . Other girls are asking for your stupid , wandering prick . Leave that poor woman alone and marry one of your numerous side chicks .

How would you feel if she too went to ride a prick that doesn’t go flaccid before the end of one round to check if she is the problem . Yeye dey smell

You know the issue i have with this kinda posts is that: you don't rly address the problem nor help in anyways. If i had deliberately not included the "other women" part, I'm sure you would av posted differently. Unfortunately, that's what the world has become. I decided to come clean so i could get more reasonable insights even from people with similar experiences. Its not a trial my friend and people do many more worse things in their closet. Thanks anyways. FYFI, i suggested separation for 2 months to rekindle the feeling which she vehemently objected and even locked the door against me. So that's a nongo area.

SunMusk:
Story story. I no the believe this kind story. A whole week you can't do one round with your wife. But you are horse rider or dragon rider for outside. U re only impotent for ur wife side. Hmmmmmmm

I am not asking to be a nack star sir/ma. I just wanna nack my woman as at when needed. Its not quick ejaculation, its abt even getting the tool to slide in.

jaxxy:


Confess what exactly to ur wife? Lol


2ndly is ur wife complaining about ur sexual life or is she satisfied or even unbothered with ur failed sexual life? Has she given any advice or suggestions?

I'm trying to diagnosis the cause of ur problems at home match and success at away matches.

I don't want to jump into conclusions yet.

I have only codedly bn trying to tell her that i feel Hot n get long erections while I'm away. But, as a man u know its only a matter of time before both families get in on this matter. She alrdy told my family n i am quite sure she's told hers as much perhaps they r only trying to be reserved by not asking me yet. So mentally I'm under pressure but then u also think "but i dont rly have a problem with my tool." So wetin man go do?

WantsandMore:
have you ruled out psychological & clinical factors?

No I have not! Infact av seen a consultant like 3 times n they keep saying its a mental thing that I would get over it.

linearity:


Post her picture, so we can judge accurately.

U be thief! 😂

TheBTCinvestor:


Bro I'm facing same problem bro and we just 1year together but luckily we have a kid. Outside eh my dick go stand kakaraka but with my wife my dick will be falling that I have to struggle to finish one round in weeks of no sex. Its crazy bro! We were having sex well b4 marriage b4 I got her pregnant. I think it's spiritual o or psychological cos I'm confused my self

Perhaps there many more men facing this problem. I never had such issues too during courtship as everything stand gidigba so tey na she go dey say e don do...i dey even laff like Sholay for indian film telling her not to worry say she go adjust with time. What i also noticed is that after d wedding, Sex became like work for me, like something i must do to get my wife pregnant which she actually did but then we lost the baby after some months n then boom! Alaye no wan work again.

All will be well bro.

jagorinho:

The same reason you have been off and on with her before deciding to make it serious, look Mr Man, somethings can no be mitigated, what made you not take her seriously in the first place? Maybe the thing is coming up again, your answer might be there.

It was distance then! I was working in another state. I did not even know the city she's residing then. So it wasn't about feelings.

Kobojunkie:
So imagine a scenario where this had been your wife writing this OP here, instead of you. And you happen to read it without realizing it was your own wife behind the keyboard. Would you consider believing that the woman behind this story was committed to her marriage? Or would you instead conclude that by stating that she had an extramarital affair for her ego's sake, and at the same time continues to keep a daily log of men wanting to have sex with her, she has probably downgraded the importance of the marriage to her?

I try not to be judgemental! Having erectile issues will deflate any man even a Priest! Its not even about ego cos its my marriage and wife in question here. I am not looking to be a porn star in bed, I just wanna be available when either of us wants it n moreso for child bearing. A limp rod cant produce "cream".

Kobojunkie:
I even quoted your posts there, did I not? Your primary concern in your OP is not the marriage but the fact that the woman thinks you are impotent ... read it yourself. Why are you living separately if she refused separation as a resolve from you by the way?

We work in different cities about 3hrs apart. Its not marital separation. My primary concern is my marriage, if it weren't I would have tried to father a child outside.

Kobojunkiee:
1. You don't desire her and you don't even live with her, so it isn't that you want to save the relationship since you gladly boast of having sex requests from other girls on a daily basis to take care of your lust meaning you have moved on.

2. Your primary concern is that this woman who you have no feelings for at least does not consider you impotent — your ego for some reason cannot let that one go. Then I asked
Then I read the following from you But you are both living separately meaning you are already separated, or are you not?
You are no longer attracted to her but you want her to know it is not a result of impotency. You are seeking help for your own ego and not the marriage.

Honestly i feel u should just go back and read my first post with a more open mind.

Kobojunkie:
1. I never said your wife denies you sex. Rather I said she gets no sex in the "marriage" as a result of you not being attracted to her.

2. I read the part about you both being separated and living apart but I was not certain if I read that right. Since you confirmed it, I wonder why you are keeping her around. Do you intend on making her a baby mama sometime in the future or something? You have already moved on so why not divorce her while she is still young? I just wouldn't like to read about her waking up 5 years later, full of regret, to realize she had been hanging on to a dead branch in the name of marriage.

Move on kwa? If i had moved on, i wont be here seeking help.

LLSAINT:
You should know that after marriage, the next would be belle
We Africans will start looking at her Tommy
If she no collect, it is partially your fault because you are not always there.
My advice, spend more time with your wife, you guys are a young couple and need not be far away.
If it requires one of you to resign depending on una financial stamina, do it just for the marriage.

Thank you so much for your time. Fortunately, I just got a better job recently which is gonna take me out of our current state totally. So inevitably, we have to move together.

Regards,

Kobojunkie:
I think the woman is instead the one in a loveless marriage. No sex, no attention, just a glorified housemaid in the union while the man gets his knuckles shined outside by several other women. If she ends up tying herself down with a baby, I doubt that will change anything for him since from his OP, he seems to have already moved on.

Kobojunkie, calm down. I read your posts normally n they always amuse me. However, your assertions here are not correct. My wife doesn't deny me sex n i dont deny her attention. Infact other aspects of our marriage are very good. We play and laff alot cos we both have great sense of humor. Despite not staying together, her monthly upkeep from me is at par with her salary. So there's no abandonment or punishment anywhere. Inugo?

Klass99:


Are you off the High BP medication? Is viagra and BP meds a good combination? Legend 🤣.....abeg no go quench yourself because of performance issues in the bedroom.

We have established that your equipment is not dysfunctional when it comes to other women it is only with wifey so please take it easy. Walahi ehn when I first read your post one of my thoughts was that this could be spiritual but on wifey's part

However, I am not someone who likes to lead with the assumption that every unfortunate incident in life is spiritual so I didn't voice that thought but it crossed my mind. Did the elders you consulted not proffer a solution?

Actually, some Viagra meds can also act as anti-BP. I'm not yet off the BP meds as advised by the Cardio. An elder gave me some "concoction" to ward off the negativity. Now lemme burst your head: Wifey was totally against my "consultants" like i said she's from a strong clergy family but on a particular night, i took the herbs n said a small prayer to God to not fail me... everything worked great!!! 3 days ago, it was automatic though i ddnt take d stuff. 2 night ago, we went back to square 1 and surprisingly she started asking me to go use the herbs, which i later did tho but i have been scared to try again honestly.

fyzaila:
Wait, sexual compatibility is something that shouldn't be ignored when getting married to avoid all this stories. You totally ignored all this while dating which isn't suppose to be. If i am in a relationship with a guy and his words alone don't turn me on and vice versa believe you me i am backing out of that relationship.

Because the integral part of marital bliss is good s3xual life and when that is compromised because of one issue or the other, that marriage is hitting the rock sooner or later. And that is where infidelity crawls in.

Op, as suggested, you two should see a therapist and see if you can find a solution to your predicament.

Yea thanks tho during courtship she was happy i wasn't a sex maniac.

Klass99:


I am seriously wondering the same thing on your behalf considering all you've said so far. This sounds rough.....sorry. I hope you strap up when indulging the other women bugging you? No go carry STD for yourself and wife o, abeg. You should search for a sex therapist, I don't know if we have authentic ones in Naija but ask.

Your quote is a big ? for me. I did consult with some "elders" and they say in such situations, traditionally its an issue with the woman (something like a spiritual attack). During a recent public holiday, i got myself viagra, I couldn't sleep cos my head was banging all thru d night. I have taken herbs, exercises, weight loss, dates fruit etc but e be like na other people dey enjoy am!

Samantha124:
Tell her the truth and if possible, get a divorce and move on with those other ladies that you're already cheating on her with.

Set her free while she's still young and you guys don't have a child... The sooner you do it, the easier it's gonna be for her to move on.

Yea thanks. Tho quite extreme, i actually asked her for separation which she vehemently objected. So i guess that's out of the discussion. She wants us to keep trying but I always loose sleep/rest when it fails again.

LLSAINT:
I think OPs, you are the problem.
First of all, welcome to the institution called marriage.
S$x starts with the mind. If you lose it, you lost it.
If other girls call and your dickkie comes alive, it simply means you have already engaged them in your mind before the very act.
Work on your mind and communicate more with your wife.
Cuddle her on bed still you sleep off.
Let the thoughts of other girls leave your mindset for you to get focused.
Her 'doughnut' is not different from the ones you fantasize.
Wetin dey sweet man for outside, easy to kill am o!

Thanks alot! Your post is closer to my thoughts. Unfortunately for now, we dont stay together. We have discussed the strong issue of resignation to be together. I feel that with that, i can curb my weakness with other women. Notwithstanding, she's put me under subtle pressure for pregnancy.

sisisioge:


You dont know anything yet. Sebi you guys are still managing to do once in several weeks right? In another 5 years you would have settled into once in a year! As a legend, you of all people should have known the importance of sexual compatibility before settling down. Your cross o....all of una go dey alright laslas.

And that is how another couple took the wahala route....

As a legend... 😂 I totally appreciate your post but like I said, sexual compatibility was something i wasnt too bothered with cos even the few times we had it, it wasn't this bad. My woman is from a strong religious background and we could have gone through the courtship without sex sef. Thanks anyways

pretydiva:
The truth is you no longer find your wife sexually attractive.

Hmmmm thats worrisome! My wife's pretty, fair n endowed. Why is there no signal from my brain for arousal?

Dear Nlders,

I cant say if this problem is peculiar and I would sincerely appreciate mature comments and suggestions.

My marriage is just about a year old though I had an on/off online friendship with my now-wifey since 2017 before we decided to get serious late 2021. Our physical courtship was kinda brief - about 6 months - while we both resided in the same state but different Cities (about 3hrs apart).

I used to be very sexually active in my previous relationships - trust me when i say I'm quite good in bed - but with my now-wifey, I decided to limit the sex part cos i felt at a man's age (tho my sisters also advised same) that there r other things to look out for in a woman. So basically, we did not get too intimate during courtship. Worryingly, even the few times we did it, I rarely got to orgasm cos she couldn't match my stamina.

Fast forwards to 1 month into the marriage, I was diagnosed with High blood pressure which the doctors advised BP drugs might affect my libido but it will later regulate/normalize. Then the problems started! First, I get aroused normally with good turgidity enough to penetrate my Wifey's tight "body" but I tend to loose erection after some mins of thrusting and that's the end. Never comes back on again. Few times I was able to finish but that's not without alot of mental imagination to make me finish ontime.

Very worryingly for me, I decided to check myself with other women and dear readers, I achieved stronger turgidity and no fail moment. That was my first shock.

Summarily, my wife and I still dont live together but this situation has gone worse now. I got no sexual feelings towards her and na by force we dey manage run 1 round in weeks. Meanwhile, I get sex requests from other girls on a daily. I'm very sad about this situation especially when i look at my wife because she ought to be enjoying this thicke alone forever.

As a man, you can imagine how you'd feel when your woman feels ur impotent while other women are bugging you for your time.

Various extreme thoughts have crossed my mind and I'm seriously bothered which isn't even good for my health. Should i confess to my wife?

I await your responses, suggestions and advice.

Many thanks,