Monfeels:
I want to share my problem with you guys in the hopes that maybe I'll get some good advice or at least some insight into my problem.

When people first meet me their impression of me is that I'm good looking, cool and intelligent. Most girls usually assume that I have a girlfriend or a legion of side chicks that I Bleep whenever I want to.

The truth about me is that I've never been in a proper relationship with another woman before. All I've had is sexual partners that I stop talking to after I have sex with them, and girls I get intimate with just to control them and get them to fulfil my desire of having a female to own, please me and do my biding, and then I get bored of them and cease contact and move on like I never knew them.

The reason for this behavior is that I don't possess the emotional resources needed to engage in a healthy relationship with another human being. I have no empathy and I usually feel no guilt or remorse for my actions. It's impossible for me to care genuinely for another person. I don't feel people's pain or suffering and I'm not moved by the death of family members or friends. I simply do not care for any other person but myself. I've been this way for a very long time. I lack the ability to maintain relationships with people hence why I lose friends often. Relationships are usually a means to an end for me and when that end is met, I become irritated by the person I've gotten close to.

Despite the fact that I don't see the point in relationships, I still find that I get jealous of couples in healthy relationships. It's not like I want to experience what they experience, just that I am envious of the fact that they are participating in something I can't participate in.

When I find a girl that I want to get close to, I'm usually consumed with jealousy over her previous relationships, and over any current relationship she has with any member of the opposite sex, even if it's merely platonic. All I want is for her to devote all her time to me and shower me with attention and love. The problem with all this is that I don't want to reciprocate this behavior. In fact the idea of devoting attention to, and showering affection on someone else irritates me. It's all pointless, but I enjoy when it's done to me.

Another weird side to all this is that I don't just want to control the girl, I also enjoy making her feel bad, but in a way that makes her crave for me more. I enjoy poking holes in herself esteem, making her second guess the presumably good qualities she thought she possesed, making her not feel wanted by me, and making her do more to please me.

I don't love women, I only become obsessed with them. Obsessed to the point that I'm constantly tortured by thoughts of them being sexual with another guy especially when it's someone she has dated before. I want her all to myself and even if she had sex with someone before I met her or before we became close, I am filled with anger and jealousy whenever the thought crosses my mind, and I want to punish her for that. It's like I want to erase her past and replace it with me. I want to be all she's ever had. I don't want anyone else in her life and I don't want anyone else in her past.

All this must sound crazy to you guys but this is my reality and it's eating me up. I need advice.

Bmfunso:
Good day everyone, Please I have an important enquiry and any helpful information will be highly appreciated and most importantly if anyone has encountered similar challenge in the past.

My wife had her interview for family reunion last year June. All requirement fulfilled but in the end, the application was rejected on two grounds.
1. That we got married after I entered Germany and
2. That my study visa's validity was less than 1 year.

I appealed the rejection on the ground that i already found a full time job and I already submitted my application for full time Work permit at the Berlin Immigration and awaiting response.
Unfortunately, my application for the work permit was not approved by federal job agency in Berlin due to some issues (long story). All this back and forth took 6 months or thereabout. At the end, German embassy in Nigeria replied my appeal and finally rejected our appeal in January, 2024.

By the end of Feb. 2024, my work permit was finally approved and I wrote to embassy in Nigeria, we got an instant reply that we should book a new appointment. This is really sad, one can imagine waiting for another 16months or more to get a new appointment.

Meanwhile, while the issue was going back and forth since last year, we attempted to atleast book a new appointment for my wife since we didnt know what the outcome would be but the system was not allowing us and it kept saying "A different appointment with the same entry was already booked". When this first happened, we thought it was bcs our application was still ongoing. So now, after the final rejection, we still got the same error till this moment.
My questions now are:
1. Has anyone been faced with such scenerio before in term of not being able to book a new appointment after rejection?
2. What are the options available for us if we don't want to wait for another appointment which is over a year?

I forgot to add that we welcomed our first child in December last year. Would such development may atleast also move the German embassy in Nigeria to give or reduce the appointment waiting time?

Thanks for your anticipated response/s

Localwomann:
Does anyone know if people from Dec 2022 have started getting mails?

FrauPosh:
Berlin office? Oh really? Please what's the name of the office in particular? Is it the Bundesvervaltungsamt?

FrauPosh:


We have done everything we could do but no response. I have sent a million mails.

Festaco:



Hi Mopricelezz,
I have an EU blue card. The ABH sent me a letter which listed the documents to submit as well as the form to be filled while applying for Sponsorship. I filled it up and submitted it together with other requested documents. After a while,I got an email that my financial status was ok to take care of my family, that I should book appointment to come and pick up the sponsorship letter.
That's my current status now....hope this helps.

Best wishes

Didibk:
Hi everyone. Please are children also required to pay verification fee or just the visa fee?

Festaco:
Please has anyone been asked to make application for Sponsorship letter in connection with Family reunification visa? In our case, the ABH contacted me last week to submit the needed documents and a form for sponsorship letter to be properly filled up. It is a bit confusing as I have never heard about getting a sponsorship letter for family re-union purposes.

Please let me know if anyone passed through this procedure.

Martins00:
Visa Alert!

• 22nd February 2022: Application for the interview/application appointment
• 10th March 2023: Appointment Email Confirmation for April
• 6th April 2023: Interview Date/ Visa application submission.
- Submission of required documents including A1 language certificate
• 14th June 2023: Visitation of document verification officer
• 9th November 2023: Document verification notification
• 7th December: The immigration authority (Die Ausländerbehörde) requested for 2 documents.
- Copy of passport data page / ID (Ausweis)
- Informal signed declaration to start a family with the applicant, my wife.
• 5th January 2024: Embassy requests for passport and travel insurance submission via email.
• 11th January 2024: Submits passport and travel insurance to embassy.
• 15th January 2024: Passport with visa received via courier service.

Here are my tips for those currently at the brink of applying:

1. For spouses living in Germany, you can expedite the process by applying for "Nachbeurkundung" at your local Standesamt and submitting the required documents for verification. They have the capacity to kick-start the verification in parallel. This can be done while your spouse in Nigeria awaits the appointment date for the visa application submission.

2. The timing of attending the A1 German language course at Goethe Institute is crucial. It's advisable to aim for complet-ing the A1 certificate a few weeks after you submit your visa application at the embassy.

Good luck to you all!

nikkyra:

Please, I want to ask must one write A1 for family reunion and please what kind of question are you asked during visa interview

Jewessgratitud3:
If you used this perfs do sisi or bobo and you never marry , this year must not pass us by.

I used this perfumes that year ehn... people will always ask me what fragrance are you wearing, I'll tell them and theyll go and buy it. this happened more with passion. It was 250 naira then. Passion of old was so nice but now they've watered it down so much.

During my seduction days, I no longer reveal my perfume. I just tell them it's my signature .
Same with dusha and Erato. Erato was the bomb. Smelt like designer back then.this was before smart collection came and knocked them off the market.

Please feel free to add yours.

Didibk:
Hello everyone. Please I need clarity on some documents needed by the embassy.

1. Affidavit from parent or head of the family on the Applicant's marital status (declaration of spinsterhood). Does this mean that my father has to get this in court or he just need to write a short letter stating what exactly? Is it the normal spinsterhood affidavit but instead it is written and signed by my father?

2. Informal written consent of the parent living in Germany for the child to join. In my case, I am the one married to a German so technically, I am the main applicant. I have custody from a magistrate court for my child from a previous relationship and my child is coming with me. Am I the one that should write a consent letter or my husband in Germany?

3. Affidavit "declaration of age" deposed to by one of the parents. Should this be a court document like question 1? What do they mean by "deposed to by one of the parents" please?

gofaik:
Dear Nairalanders, my wife got to Germany on 25th December 2023.

Below is how the process went for us:

28th June, 2022 - Applied online for an appointment

25th August 2023 - We got an email from the embassy, informing us of her Visa appointment.

19th September 2023 - Family Reunion Visa Appointment

13th October 2023 - I got an email from the Immigration office in Germany to submit my documents

30th November, 2023 - I submitted all the documents

1st December 2023 - Got an update from the Immigration office that their response has been sent to the embassy in Nigeria

4th December: She got the Approval mail and was asked to send her passport and travel insurance

5th December 2023 - She sent her passport and travel insurance

13th December 2023 - Got her passport back.

24th December 2023 - She left Nigeria and arrived Germany on the 25th.

We paid for verification, but none was done, and we're yet to get a refund. I got my Blue Card after her appointment but before I submitted all my documents. For those still waiting for theirs, I hope everything go well for you.

Happy new year 🙂

nikdam:
Please, does anybody know the likely questions for minor in respect of family reunion. Thanks

Naminaj:
Visum Alert!!!

Hello all,

To God be the glory! Finally got my visa on Friday. And I just have to share because in a lot of ways this group helped me when d tide of helpless, impatience and anxiety overflowed!

My timeline...

Sept 2021 __ application for appointment

Sept 2022 __ appointment invitation email

Oct 2022__ Visa Application/Interview

Dec 2022 __ Email requesting payment for verification

May 2023__ Lawyer Visitation

July 2023__ Verification Complete Email

August 2023 __ Mail from Aüslander for payslips and form for employer signature

October 2023__ Request for more documentation by the Aüslander

Then it was Ghost silence! We called the Aüslander in November and we were told it had been approved on their end and the delay was from Nigeria. My spouse had a lot of reservations about calling them in Nigeria..so we decided to be patient.

However, I couldn't be so patient anymore when we had heard nothing by the 1st week of December, so I sent an email to the embassy and got a mail to send passport and travel insurance.

7 Dec__ Sent Passport to the embassy

15 Dec__ Received Passport

I am so glad this has finally come to an end. I feel the waiting was the most challenging aspect of the application!! Hallelujah it ended in Praise!!

I hope this will be helpful to someone!

All the best people!!!

nwigwemark:
Hello guys, has anyone who applied for family reunion visa in November 2022 been invited for interview?

UCEKE:


I was expecting lawyer visitation but I never saw any rather they started contacting my spouse for documents. There was no reason for no lawyer visitation.

Codedboy95:
Hi House, my wife and baby finally joined me in Germany yesterday. Here is our timeline:
I booked a family reunion appointment on June 28th, 2022, thinking that once I arrived in Germany and obtained a Blue Card, the embassy would be compassionate (knowing my wife was pregnant) and fast-track her appointment, but this did not happen.
In November, we decided to try our luck by booking another appointment for her under the Skilled Immigration Act visa category. She went for the appointment but was turned away by Mr. [you know who].
I made several attempts to see if her appointment could be fast-tracked, but the embassy told me point-blank that it was not going to happen. We accepted our fate and decided to wait. After my wife gave birth, we got our little guy his passport and emailed the embassy. They confirmed that they had added him to my wife's appointment.
On August 28th, 2023, my wife and baby finally got an appointment for September 20th, 2023.
oOn October 23rd, I received an email from ABH asking me to submit documents (prior to this, I had called BVA to inquire about the stage of my family's application).
I submitted the documents via email two days later, on October 25th. The next day, October 26th, I received a response saying they had agreed to issue my family's visa and that it was now up to the embassy in Nigeria to approve it (I forwarded this email to the embassy in Nigeria).
On October 31st, the embassy in Nigeria asked us to submit passports and a travel date. They did this the next day and received their stamped visas on November 6th.

I noticed post-appointment, our timeline was a bit fast, this is because lawyer verification was skipped since I am on blue card, Also, I was asked to submit documents via email, if it were to be through post, it could have take an extra week or two for the document submission request mail to get to me and maybe another one or two weeks for them to receive back the documents. It also seems that the office responsible for my application is a bit fast, I think this is because I stay in the outskirt of Berlin and maybe they don’t get much application or they don’t have much workload there.

I hope and pray that everyone waiting on this journey receives good news soon because it is not easy.

Gabrielclint:
So my phenomenal wife got her visa today. Below is the time line.

Visa application date :June 19 2022

Visa interview email: August 12 2023

Visa interview: Sept 07. 2023

ABH document request: 3rd November 2023

Submitted all documents on Monday 6. 11. 2023

Wife got approval mail : 8.11.2023

Sent all documents to the embassy on 10.11.2023

Today 17.11.2023, her documents with her visa was sent to her.

All thanks to God.
NB: I have EU blue card.

MintyChoccochip:
Visum Alert!

After 2yrs of the journey we've finally received our visa

Book appointment- October 10 2021
Appointment mail- November 14 2022
Visa interview- December 15 2022
Lawyer visit- March 28 2023
Verification completed- July 31st and we were asked to submit new A1 certificate because the previous one expired

A1 certificate submission- October 15 2023
ABH approval- October 26 2023
Approval mail- November 2 2023
Passport was submitted the same day
Passport received- November 10 2023

I pray for good news for everyone still waiting. If your spouse over there can put pressure on them also, it helps a little bit. Send mails regularly even if they don't reply. Thanks to everyone who replied my questions and posted their experiences

ambassadorsam:
Greetings house,

Quick question please:

1. Do I have to submit an affidavit of bachelorhood if I have a marriage certificate?

Thank you

TripleJ03:
Applied for family reunion visa on the 31st of December 2021 for my hubby and 3 kids.
13th January 2023 got mail for appointment date
9th February visa interview.
The V.O was so nice to my boys she even bought sweets and chocolate for them so that they can sit in one place. Note their interview was scheduled for 7am but they were at the embassy till past 2pm.
Got a mail that I should add 1500€ to the 14,100€ I blocked in my account.
Added the money same day and sent a mail to the embassy
No message from the embassy for 4 months so i decided to mail them.
June 16th a lawyer called my hubby that he was coming for verification
Lawyer started verification from Abuja on the 20th of June from my children’s former school, hospital etc
No news again from the embassy about the visa.
September 22nd I contacted the international office responsible for international students in my school contacted my faculty dean. Both wrote a mail to ABH they said they were waiting for my embassy.
Note during this period of waiting I feel sick with depression started therapy and I was advised by my doctor to take a semester off school because I couldn’t cope again. I wanted to travel back home but I knew I will never return back to Germany without my kids. My mom kept praying for me and encouraging me not to return.
The student International office contacted the embassy and the embassy said they needed a power of attorney from me so that they can act on my behalf.
I sent the letter immediately.
September another lawyer called my husband that he was looking for his church were he did his baptism.
October 12th the studentenwerk sent me a mail to vacate my apartment if my family does not arrive Germany before the end of October that other families too needs the accommodation and I was leaving alone for 1 year.
I forwarded the message to the student international office, the embassy and the ABH stating my frustration. ABH replied immediately that they are also waiting for the embassy.

The embassy replied us that we should give them one week that the lawyer would submit his report on a Wednesday
18th October verification completed
My hubby was asked to resubmit a spinsterhood affidavit and declaration of age because he signed it him self so the signature was different from his father’s own.

And my son was asked to submit any other document to show his year of birth because his news school wrote 2018 in their class register instead of 2019. Thank Hod I had his immunization card with me in Germany I send an express courier through Dhl on Friday evening by 520pm it got to Nigeria Saturday morning 9.15am and was delivered to the embassy on Monday morning.
Embassy informed me that my children’s visas were approved and has been sent to the alien office I should write them the expiate action. I wrote the ABH stating the urgency because of my accommodation..
25th October got an email from the embassy to send travel health insurance and date of travel.
Send it same day. Note I sent my children’s passport ahead without been asked
26th my hubby got a call from the embassy to come and collect the children’s passport or send someone since they can see that the kids will travel by weekend
I sent my cousin she arrived the embassy at 1pm she was not attended to because she was late. Collection closes by 12pm according to them
Next morning been 27th she went back but the Almighty at the gate said they don’t give passports with hand. This was 3 mins to 12 and by 12pm they stop picking calls at the embassy. I quickly called my husband to call the embassy luckily he was able to speak with them and she was given the passport.

Straight to the airport she sent the passports to Abuja and we collected it after 2 hours.
Kids traveled to Germany 28th October to the glory of God.

Note my husband’s visa is still pending because he was asked to submit A1
……

God uses some situation to bless you in disguise. It was a neighbour that reported that I have been leaving alone for the past one year while other families are looking for accommodation. I guessed they noticed because I am the alone black there. In all I give praise to God, the fight was not an easy one but God gave me victory.

FrauPosh:


Hopefully soon.

Bethiyan:

Good evening everyone

Hello, do we have August 2022 applicants here that has received appointment dates?

I need to know where I stand I applied around the last week of August last year, I Check my Mail 5 time a day and noting yet.

FrauPosh:
My lawyer just called me two hours ago, that he will be coming tomorrow. It has been a long wait. I'm so exhausted but I am thankful to God.
This is coming at exactly 8 months and two weeks because although I had my interview in January 2023, the verification process began in February. So I was told by the embassy.
Finally!! I thank everyone in this group for giving me the strength to go on with their kind words of encouragement. We will all smile at the end.

FrauPosh:


Nothing yet o😒

FrauPosh:
Its been six months now yet I haven't been contacted by my lawyer. Please has any January applicants been contacted by his/her Lawyer? This wait is so daunting.😟

Mrsstephanieo:
Good morning everyone😊. I am here to share my timeline and thank everyone that shared their timeline, gave me a lot of hope and helped out with information at everypoint when I needed it:

Applied for appointment - May 27, 2022
Goethe Online course - September- December 2022
Goethe Language Exam- January 2023 and I passed at once 💃🏻💃🏻😊
Got appointment date - June 30th 2023
Appointment - 27th July 2023
ABH Letter requesting for documents from my husband - 26th September 2023
Submitted Documents to ABH -2nd October 2023
Email to submit passport & travel insurance - 5th October 2023
Submitted passports - 6th October 2023 went myself 😊
Got passports with visa and docs - 16th October 2023
Intend to travel 1st week of November 2023

Caveats
1. My husband is a researcher so there was no need for verification and A1 certificate even though I went with verification fee and certificate.
3. All documents checked out from the appointment, so that aided smooth transition.

And again thank you to everyone that shared their timeline it was a blessing to me during the entire process🙏😊❤️

greenermodels:


Good day, house. I wanted to study for my masters in Germany a few years back but later dropped the idea due to their unwillingness then to give interview date for Nigerians, please
1) are they giving interview dates now
2) Would it be of help if I already have B2 certificate even though my intended program would be taught in English
(3)What's the summary of the entire process from application to visa now. Thanks and remain blessed.

DanNwaGod:



No o. Nothing yet o. Have you received?