Olokunrobo
Ikhekoguagbunya
Nosemagietan

Afeni:

Moukee, once again, you have created an excellent thread. I haven't laughed so hard in weeks. Thanks for posting.

Afeni, my dawg, you're welcome. And I just want to say that I enjoy reading your posts too. Keep it up nigga and increase the peace iteenually.

Zionchic, I love your sense of humour, my African princess.

Zionchic, I can't stop wondering if your thing is a dangerously jagged cavity meant to keep my thing in captivity.

zionchic:

had to do u as well moukee, really deep i must say and phewish

Moukee has a vast personal collection of bodily fluids in test tubes - and is adding a ladle of fresh mucous to it right now.

Zionchic, you have plagiarized Post#18

Then let my post be for Rhodalyn

Omigod, this is real fun!
J-girl, although your comeliness stimulates my sentiments, I still see you as the most reactionary freakish homunculus ever procreated.

Seun's got an atrocious sense of humour. Imagine relocating this thread to Forum Games. Well, I think it will really be cool to view all the stuff we'll be dishing out here as fun.

Yo Diddy, happy to see you back here. As the Instigator-in-Chief, I am expecting you to just bring somebody up here and let's tear them to pieces.C'mon my nigga, I'm itching for some action.

And now I can't even access the thread again. Seun, what have you done to my baby? I protest this authoritarianism. It will be back somewhere somehow.

@mlks_baby: I am a Jew, muslim and christian. At least, all three are from the same source, Abraham. I am Abe's incarnate, and I do really wish to register my disappointment over the way these universal religions have been carrying on with their trademark moralising criticism and critical morality. The physical environment in which we live is encapsulated by the ethical environment which is the surrounding climate of ideas about how to live. Reflection on the ethical climate leads us into a conceptualization of what is acceptable or unacceptable, admirable or contemptible and other ethical predicates. For many people, such as you, ethics is not only coterminous with religion, but is completely settled by it. Such people do not need to think too much about ethics, because there is an authoritative code of instructions, a handbook of how to live. It is the word of Heaven, or the will of a Being greater than ourselves. The standards of living become known to us by revelation of this Being. Either we take ourselves to perceive the fountainhead directly, or more often we allow ourselves to be hoodwinked and seduced by thieves masquerading as priests and prophets(the Oyakhilomes and Robertsons). We could also have recourse to a text, or a tradition sufficiently in touch with the divine will be able to communicate to us. Then we know what to do.

Mlks_baby, your problem is that you think I need the help of a professional in order to commune with God. Seeking the help of the Oyakhilomes and Okoties who have become so rich that they are now considering going into multi million commercial enterprises and politics will only expose my gullibility. All I need to know is that I am endowed with a share of the divine. Infact all human beings are the children of God, who has given them a spark of His divine fire. Once you have that spark, no one, not even God can take it from you. This spark gives you the faculty of reasoning and the will to act or not to act and the will to get and the will to avoid.

On the issue of selling my daughter into slavery, what transpires today is even worse than that. Are there not homeless, jobless, hungry and hopeless people living in our midst who are worse off than slaves. If selling my daughter into slavery will improve her socioeconomic conditions, then why refrain from it. Did the Mayor of Castlebridge not sell his wife and children and did somebody on this forum not abuse their great-great-great great grandfather for escaping from the slave raiders and thus denying them the opportunity of becoming American citizens? To all intents and purposes, there is an aura of ambiguity surrounding a parent-child relationship which could be evaluated by using the parameter of indispensability-expendabilty. When is a parent indispensable to their child and vice versa, and when is a parent expendable to their child and vice versa? Taking this to an ethical level,had Socrates been ordered by a dream or oracle to kill one of his young sons, as Abraham in the Old Testament was ordered by God to kill Isaac, it is inconceivable and unbefuckinglievable that he would have obeyed. Having faith in God's goodness,he would have refused to accept a religious standard that contravened his ethical one. He would have felt certain that the order, if it genuinely came from God, demanded some alternative interpretation.

As for the woman in her period, I still have to think about that one.

@Nairamar: my friend actually went to work yesterday, a sunday. And even if you are trying to disambiguate the word "sabbath" , the fact still remains that we are no longer living in the epoch of exodus. This is a new millenium whose rational humanism is diametrically opposed to the theological convolutions of the antediluvian period. And I quite appreciate your sense of humour which one could infer from your suggestion that I should join the army since I have lost my sense of reasoning. The oxymoron "military intelligence" therefore makes no sense. Soldiers are bereft of native intelligence. Ha haa!

It is quite surprising that nobody has bothered to ask about my friend's occupation. When that information is made public, it will help in (to quote Nairamar) "justifying my evil thoughts" or condemning it.

@Seun: I knew that sooner or later someone would unearth the source of these questions, although my main reason for starting the thread was to provoke a philosophical or ethical discussion of the issues referred to. That notwithstanding, I am still bent on killing my friend who goes to work on sundays unless a dyed-in-the-wool religious rationalist is able to convince me on the futility of my proposed action. You've surely not heard the last of this matter.

I know everybody thinks I am kidding. Just wait until you don't hear about me anymore, and that is why I am getting really apprehensive. Because I know the law will take its course. But then there exist certain loopholes, enough, at least to wriggle out of the law. In this particular case, I could claim there is a mysterious voice that has always come to me ever since childhood warning me not to do things I am about to do. Ever since I have been contemplating to kill my friend, this inner voice has been silent. Does that therefore not mean that my proposed action has the sanction of God, although I am thinking an attack upon my friend would constitute a paradigm of impious conduct. Can I therefore justify my action solely on the ground that it obeyed the will of God? If yes, it means the burden of guilt would never lie on me because I would only be a tool in the hands of a Higher Power. Just in case you are thinking I am not quite compos mentis, figure this out for yourself: if a vehicle kills a man, is the blame put on the vehicle or the driver?

My friend went to work again yesterday. I think his days are now numbered.

Ay yo Diddy, tell me who won? This fight should not go beyond Round 12.

Why won't you guys just call a spade a spade instead of using euphemisms to cloth what is outright stealing, theft, scam and obtaining under false pretence. Oyakhilome and his ilk are thieves and they will roast in hell when they die.

I have a friend who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35: 2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

a. When I burn a bull on the altar as sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord(Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this?

b. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you thinkwould be a fair price for her?

c. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness(Lev.15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

Who be dis snazzy sef? Ain't she the one that posted a picture of another' woman's kitchen claiming it belongs to her mother? How can one be in love with such a pathological liar?

Life in Nigeria is better than life abroad.

Lauryn and Scorpio, what the hell is the problem between the two of you that you cannot resolve offline instead of reeling off all these unprintable epithets. C'mon sis, you don't have to wash your dirty linens in public. Consider the fact that both of you are very good friends and this acrimony will give your enemies, real or otherwise, something good to laugh about. C'mon, ma great African princesses, potential queens of the Nile, bury the hatchet and learn to be each other's keeper. I love you.

I do not talk at all. I cannot talk because of my speech defect. What a pity.

Ask the person why the f--k did they post something so meaningless? You see I am already getting peeved. Why can't the forum and its administrator allow me to use words that describe my feelings best? Why substituting mess for f--k? Is this a form of censure or a variant of DN4?

Diddy, you proceed by picking on somebody whose post or thread you couldn't make sense out of. Ask the person why the Bleep did they post something some meaningless, meaningless in the sense that it had left you in disarray ever since you read it. Then go ahead to vent your anger on this person using terms and words that can be imagined but cannot be defined. Towards the end of your tirade, mellow down a little bit and tell the person not to take it personal and that you are just doing what you had to do because you are getting sick and tired of coming across posts that always end up disorganizing your equilibrium. Got it Diddy?

Diddy, see what I mean? Letting off steam lightens you up. Sooner or later you will be floating on cloud seven.

This thread as controversial as the title may sound is not meant to bring out the animal in us, but rather, is designed to allow the readers and contributors reap the full therapeutic benefit of letting off steam. There are times we may have read some posts that left us wondering about where the posters are coming from. As an antidote to that feeling of directionlessness, let's take it out here on those Nairalanders who have left us at a loss for words, confused and peeved. There may be some yabis along the way, couched diplomatically, but which should not be mistaken for a clarion call to draw daggers,unsheath swords or throw javelins.

@Akolawole:it is good to see that you've transformed yourself into the poster child of the thread "Is Life Really Better Abroad?". Even though you admitted having seen both sides of the coin, and also openly declared that life abroad is better than life in good ol' Naija, at which point many people were expecting you to simmer down and take a bow out, you are still pursuing this topic with the tenacity and impertinence of a cross-examination lawyer. I don't see how you can argue yourself out of this labyrinth and claim victory at the end of the day when it is obvious that your sophistical view, having outside itself neither a base on which it can pose itself, nor an object to which it can oppose itself,nor a subject with which it can compose itself, is forced to turn head over heels in posing itself, opposing itself and composing itself.

@Kimba: how could you have the effrontery to subject the king and people of Benin Kingdom to the unwarranted obloquy contained in your contributions on the thread "Why Are There Too Many Benin Girls In Europe?". Infact almost all of the posters on that thread thought it expedient to make mockery of these peace-loving people, who having decided to tackle the perennial problem of grinding poverty by doing something that is legitimate, are now being blamed for not solving that problem through illegitimate means. Nobody wants to associate themselves with a prostituting or thieving brother, sister or friend. And as a result of that no Nairalander ever rose up to say they were of Benin origin. Nobody rose up to say something in defence of these people.
Kimba, my nigga, I am not surprised that your poverty, metaphysically speaking, has blinded you to the fact that society prepares the crime, while the criminal commits it. In Benin City, there are a lot of prostitutes. And they are all from your tribe. The hypocritical tribe. The poltroonish tribe. For your information, the thief on the cross, the Magdalen at the well, are our brother and sister, bone of our bone, flesh of our flesh. If you persecute these, if you insult them, if you rob them, you rob and persecute and insult us. We demand an apology.

Ever witty Hot Angel, love your " na water and garri" retort. You know, the world is a looking glass that gives back to every man the reflection of his face. Keep dishing out more, jare!

Seun:

What ranks do you suggest and how many posts should people have in order to achieve them?

I hope you all read the thread titled "Who's the dumbest poster on nairaland?". The number of posts should not be used to determine any nomenclature, but the number of sentences, or better still the length of a post. Anybody can just start posting words like 'nice', 'cool', and 'beautiful' and at the end of the day is elevated to the position of the highest poster. It is true that our posts do not attract any monetary awards, but let us be honest with and to ourselves by getting down to brass tacks instead of taking the forum as a laboratory that churns out nursery rhymes.

mamaput:

I give up me am out of here,
As for my groundnut peppe soup am taking it with me.

@ mukee das weiß ich doch

Bis nächtes mal.

mamaput:

hart im nehmen

Ich hab nur Spass gemacht.

mamaput:

gut geht es mir .
Jetzt hast du aber Arger am Hals nicht wahr?

Das war nichts.