ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Give her 1m to go get her life back🤨 In this age and time?? Wowww, u deserve some rounds of applause

Manuelson665:
Madam tell us what really went wrong with your womb, hope ure not one of the Moyo Lawal kind that have wandered around during their youth... Your husband decision is right... He needs kids... Pls leave the union for those that are productive...

I just need to vent

I understand we are all entitled to our opinion. You have shared yours. However, i feel certain opinion are demoralizing. May Almighty God give you a better understanding of life.... May our children not go through some things some people go through. Let's learn to bridle our tongues pls.

oloriooko:
hello mr "am walking out of patience" some words for you:

1. did you marry the woman or baby manufacturing company
2. are you aware the lady is in more distress than you are about this condition?
3. are your friends good friends that laugh at their so called friend's misfortune
4. how are you taking care of your wife in this trying time? is it by walking out on her or sticking to her?
5. FYI marriage is first meant for companionship while kids are added
6. stop living for your friends, live for yourself (you + your wife)
7. you can get the kids and lose them all in one day (ask the parents of sosoliso air crash years ago, God console them!)
8. if you don't put your head right, you will destroy your future
9. and who told you she won't eventually conceive for you!

finally, i know of a couple childless for 30+yrs but are closest pallies

Ooo thank you so much for this.
I read every word and could feel those emotions. May God give you more wisdom.
People talk as if they know more than God. God bless you and crown all your efforts.

chatinent:
What advice can you give to sb about to walk down the aisle in a short time?

Let GOD lead and let LOVE live....

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggar
Women....

Before I marry anywoman

I will rent and apartment for both my wife and mother to live together first for nine months...
They will live together and get used to each other ...become friends...then they will always gang up against me...
When your mother and wife are friends then nothing on planet earth can hurt you

My brother, this you have said is easier said. To me, I believe some women don't need to pass through these before one can tell if "BOTH" will be able to live together. This thing called marriage is a mystery. Let's just pray that God leads. In essence, all i am saying is even if they live together before you marry your wife bear in mind that it still doesn't guarantee "PEACE" between them. Just let God lead that is all so you don't get the shock of your life and so that you won't say "YOUR WIFE PRETENDED TO BE GOOD SO SHE COULD BE LOVED AND WELCOMED INTO YOUR HOME" Allow things happen naturally my brother and make sure to love your wife no matter what and don't use force in making her love your family, your mother especially (e get why). Lead rightly so your wife follows in love and total submission.lastly, if your family don't accept your wife to be please it's either you make them see reasons (respectfully) why she is the one you have chosen or you two end the relationship in order to aboud stories that touches the heart. Not all mothers are wicked/bad and not all wives to be are bad aswell. They both need to understand each other to live together.

Francis609:
My mum have never liked my wife to the extend of wishing her death when she lost our first baby and I had disowned her for saying that. So far we haven't had any contact since the incident and we are finally proud parents of twins boy and girl born in February. My stepmother have been here for us since day 1 she is in my house taking care of my wife and babies , my mum called saying that she want to come over and take care of my wife and kids and will be spending a month . I lied to her that my wife is with her sister and will let her know when she is back to the house so she can come over. To be Frank I don't want her near my wife because she doesn't likes her and I don't think she have any good plan for us. Did I do the right thing for lying to her my wife is not around or should I give her the chance to come over and see if she have truly change?

Please If you want to understand the full story go through my old threads

What is happening with mother in laws these days? Simply because your son married a lady from his father's tribe and because she sees his wife as bin ugly? Sincerely, this is not nice. Some mother inlaws wants to dictate how their son run their homes. Even in islam and Christianity it is stated that a third party in a marriage is totally wrong. Thankfully, you are on your wife's side. Besides, our spouses are supposed to be our number 1 no matter what. I am so sorry but some mother inlaws and sister inlaws are demons in human skin. They forget they are also women, issorite.
Las las, na God still get all of us.

TheOldGods:
We have been dating for a while now. Been coming to my house and my parents knows her. Normally she visits and sleeps over and ofcourse because she is my guest ,I'll have to give her food etc.


So today I decided to be different. I told her I was hungry and if she was, ofcourse she hurried and said yes, dresses up and jumped in my lexus. I just smiled, and started the car and we drove to a restaurant.

Before we got down from the car, I told her that I don't want to spend more than 3k on the meal between the both of us, and I told her to handle it, which she said fine, and split the fees to 1500 each. She got her food and a huge chicken which everything was 1500 naira on her end, and I got swallow which was about 1050 naira on my end. And the total money was 2550 naira. Then suddenly my girlfriend told me she also wants plantain, that the money is not yet upto 3k. That it must reach 3k. I was shocked because, if we were married then she can't help me save money when I tell her let's cut down cost. I thought she would even be happy that she saved me money and now we didn't send upto that 3k. But wow.

The waiter wanted to take the food and add the plantation of 450, but I refused and told her to collect her payment as we were done ordering.

My so called girlfriend then got angry and decided to seat somewhere far away from me, and we didn't see each other till I was done eating, although she waited for me. To my surprise she didn't eat that food, she packaged it back in a takeaway bag, and kept it for me. I asked her why she didn't eat the food she ordered by herself which was already 1500, as we agreed, and she said she won't eat it, and I took the food back. I ate the food myself with the chicken.

Right now, I don't want to take this relationship serious. Did I do the wrong thing by not allowing her spend the remaining money and making it 3k? Which ofcourse was the remaining money from my own food.?

Guys, we all need to be careful. Women are not smiling these days. What your girlfriend did was totally wrong. Alot of people (male/female) are unwise these days. Na wa for that girl sha

yinkaOdutuyo:
So the main issue that led to me denying her food this night.

I asked her for the two of us to go and get ingredients for food, she said she's having serious headache so I went alone.

When I came back I washed the rice and put it on fire and I also start grinding the pepper and tomatoes with manual grinder.

After few minutes when the rice was done I asked my wife to go and put down the rice from fire, and fried the stew afterwards.

She just started shouting she's so tired, her head is hot and making hefty sounds inside that she can't stand up from this bed.

I insisted and she went to put the rice down and off the gas, instead of her to start frying the stew. She just came and meet me on the bed.

And she started shouting I didn't tell you am hungry, am not even eating this night at all. Do whatever you want to do, I'll never stand up to make any stew in this house. If you want to eat go and make the stew yourself.

I just stood up and enter the kitchen to make the stew. As I was making the stew, my wife that said she's not feeling fine was busy watching film om her phone. She complained earlier that her head is hefty and aching her that she can't stand up from the bed, but she stood up and start looking for the BT Audio to connect to her phone so that she'll be able to hear the film audio very well.

Immediately I finished making thr stew, I served the food on the table and the next my wife wanted to stood up from the bed to join on the table so that we can eat.

I just told her that You can never eat from this food this night and tomorrow morning, because you were the one that said you were not hungry that I was troubling you to make food.

I also told her that the headache allow you br watching films and also allow you to be looking for BT Audio. But denied you to cook for me.

So house I want to know if this is right or wrong pls or what can I do.

To all moniker saying have I ever helped her before this is for you below:

BTW I have cooked many times in the house, there are times she'll go to work before she comes back I'll have prepare good foods, that will atimes takes me 2 or more hours to prepare and she'll come back and eat and smile and say thank you. I use to get home between 5pm and 6pm latest, while she'll be coming home by 7pm, 8pm or latter.

At times the two of us may be at home and I'll be the only one cooking, while she'll just lie down watching films or doing another thing while I do the while cooking.

I think I have being helpful to her in cooking and other chores in the house. There are many times I'll be the one washing all the clothes in the house, while she's sleeping or doing something else.

I literally do almost 80% of everything in the house if not more than.

But me doing all those doesn't mean am a fool or I don't know what am doing.

Bit I think as a man you have to man up.

This thing called marriage.
My Brother truth is;
1. Whether in pretence or not, that your wife complained of a serious headache you ought to have prepared the food and ignore whatever she does afterwards.
2. You shouldn't have denied her any food.
3. Are you sure you did not get her angry before the "food issues"?
4. For you to feel this way, it shows what you did was totally wrong. You were upset no doubt but denying her food was way too much. It was better you didn't prepare it.
5. You two need to grow up not all these tit for tat nonsense you two are doing.
6. Lastly, it is expected that a man leads while the woman follows. If you two continue like this, i am afraid your marriage may not last too long.