But Osas on the other hand was the most caring, he was in his forties. He spoiled her silly, he exposed her to a life of luxury, they met at a birthday party of a mutual friend, and he appreciated what it means to work and play. He works in an oil company, so when it was time to work, they worked and when it was time to play, they played hard, there were no rules. with him, she met a few celebrities at private shows and parties. He exposed her to another level of fun in Lagos, and because of him, she had to relocate to an estate in another part of Lagos. They simply enjoyed each other’s company of course that was before his wife, Alero began to interfere, but it was good while it lasted.
Another pain in Itunu’s flesh was Awa, she was a younger woman, she was one of the boldest, she had even gone as far as comforting her and slapping her in the hotel lobby, it led to a physical fight, All these women did not stop Itunu from her new lifestyle, she wanted to make a baby by force even though some of them were smart enough to use protection. She’d given up on the idea of marriage, she believed she wasn’t one of the married ones but as for kids, it’s game on with or without the help of her partner.
One of the most exciting times for Itunu in all her escapades was her ability to travel on a whim, the way her companions travelled was alarming, she was always ready, she had an always-to-go bag at her boot, ready to travel, and she found herself in Abuja a few times hence she visited her brother, telling him she was in town for business. Her most enjoyable experience was Ghana, just for a party. People really know how to spend money, these people are ordinary people who worked hard to make money but spend without a care in the world. Her contact grew, and she met a variety of people at work and in casual meetings. By this time, her Christian life was zero, she wasn’t interested in anything church or churchy. Going to church became a burden, suddenly she began to see people as a hypocrite, She cared less about what people were saying about her, that’s even if they are aware of her new escapade. Somehow she sensed that her brother was aware, but he wasn’t bold enough to challenge her, she really kept a good distance. Even her parents were worried at the way she kept her distance. All was well with her, as long as she was concerned.
In all these activities, there was something that kept moving smoothly in Itunu’s life, it was her job, she’d had two promotions since she started the job, and the previous year, she had gotten a promotion and recognition for her hard work, which means more money and more responsibility. She also missed her colleagues at work, as their relationship was never the same after Paul’s wife came to harass her at the restaurant, she never returned to the place she used to share with Paul, she went to a more sophisticated place, where she met new people. Itunu did everything possible to erase paul from her memory and it worked.
One day, she got a call that her mum was very sick, she contemplated to visit or not. The woman deserves better, she thought. she went home to visit her, and she stayed for two days in the city before returning to Lagos.
Where did the time go, in a few months she’s going to be forty, she was becoming tired of the partying and merry, life was moving forward for some of her friends, at first it was a graduation party of one of her “friends” daughter, the young lady was graduating from secondary school and her father was throwing a loud sweet 16 party for her, a boss and senior colleague had a grand house opening, it was as if everyone had something to celebrate except her, it’s the big 4 and 0, Yet nothing to show for it, she needed a change of environment again. Something had to give. As she thought about it, the more confidence she grew in her plans, this time she would relocate out of the country. At this phase, there are no men for her in Nigeria, if at this stage she couldn’t get anyone to settle down with then it’s time to move on. At this point, she had colleagues and acquaintances that had travelled out of the country, this was the time to reconnect and ask about how they went about it. Soon, she had an agent who could help her make plans to relocate to Canada, the progress looked long and expensive, but it was worth it.

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****
Soon, her vacation was over, and as she flew back to Lagos, she made up her mind to get a car. Enough of saving money, it’s time for her to live in the moment. One, the car would help her move around Lagos without restriction; two, she intended to be more outgoing. Enough of her conservative-looking clothes. She recalled how her brother’s church members were dressed as if they were going to a party, even ladies with children were beautifully dressed. And here she was, dressing like an old woman. Haba, who conservation help ehn? Now is the time to act, no more dulling. After doing everything well, here she was with nothing to show.
As she thought of these things, she remembered her Pastor’s wife fondly called Mummy Grace. The woman was on her neck all through her trip, and kept sending her Bible verses, so she had to tell her that she went to Abuja to visit her brother.
As soon as she settled back in Lagos, she started making inquiries about getting a car and also used the opportunity to enrol in a driving school. Speaking of driving, Itunu remembered when her brother Deji was learning to drive. It was their dad’s mechanic who taught him anytime Deji went to his workshop, and a few times, he would take their dad’s car without their permission to show his friends that he could drive. He did it mostly when there was fuel scarcity in Abeokuta and Mr Ademola opted for public transport. The day he was caught by their father, Mr Ademola was livid, he gave his son the beating of his life that he would never forget, and it took the intervention of neighbours to calm him down, even his wife could not intervene. Since then, no one touched their father’s car, not even when Deji was an undergraduate. He would rather drive his mum’s car but that didn’t stop Deji from washing his dad’s car every weekend.
In a few weeks, Itunu got a car with the help of an agent. She was so thrilled to be finally weaned off public transport or carpooling with colleagues. She also went shopping for new clothes and sought ideas on places in town where she could get to meet new people. She was in a new church every Sunday in her hunt for a husband; this time, no holding back. It was Mummy Grace and her friends that first noticed this change of lifestyle and tried to draw her attention but she brushed them off. She made sure she attended any party she was invited to - birthdays, housewarming, weddings – as long as there was a party, she was there. The direct result of this was that she stopped going to church every Sunday. The weekends got so busy that she had to sleep in on Sundays to catch some rest.
Soon, she met Sope who openly declared that he was married. All he wanted was a companion as his wife and kids were in the UK, and this time, Itunu jumped in with a clear knowledge of what she was getting into. They were in each other’s bed, just catching fun. Itunu didn’t feel bad about it except on rare occasions but she made sure to shrug it off so she could enjoy the relationship while it lasted. She tried to ensure that they didn’t use protection while in bed. If she couldn’t get a husband, she could, at least, get pregnant and have a child. That was her new mission.
A few months into the relationship, Sope’s wife arrived and they had to let go of the relationship. Then, she moved on to other men and even dated one of her bosses whom she met at one of the opening ceremonies of a top restaurant. She was just having drinks when he walked over and chatted her up, and that was the beginning. They kept their relationship a secret private at work but after office hours, they were in each other’s arms. It was a mutual relationship but they soon called it off because he relocated out of town.
By Itunu’s 39th birthday, she’d had her share of causal relationships that led nowhere, sleeping from one man to another, while trying to avoid men with troublesome wives. It was just that as much as she tried, trouble just always seemed to find her. Reminiscing about it, the most troublesome of them was Alero. She cursed and tormented Itunu, they were at each other’s throats every time as Itunu wasn’t ready to give up the relationship unless their common factor, Osas was ready to give her up. One day, Alero had come to work to create a scene and it was the security personnel that intervened in the matter. Alero would trail them to different parts of town to cause trouble, no matter how secluded the place was. The two women abused themselves verbally each time they met. Osas had tried to warn his wife but the woman wasn’t having it. She claimed that she was fighting for her marriage.

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Soon, her vacation was over, and as she flew back to Lagos, she made up her mind to get a car. Enough of saving money, it’s time for her to live in the moment. One, the car would help her move around Lagos without restriction; two, she intended to be more outgoing. Enough of her conservative-looking clothes. She recalled how her brother’s church members were dressed as if they were going to a party, even ladies with children were beautifully dressed. And here she was, dressing like an old woman. Haba, who conservation help ehn? Now is the time to act, no more dulling. After doing everything well, here she was with nothing to show.
As she thought of these things, she remembered her Pastor’s wife fondly called Mummy Grace. The woman was on her neck all through her trip, and kept sending her Bible verses, so she had to tell her that she went to Abuja to visit her brother.
As soon as she settled back in Lagos, she started making inquiries about getting a car and also used the opportunity to enrol in a driving school. Speaking of driving, Itunu remembered when her brother Deji was learning to drive. It was their dad’s mechanic who taught him anytime Deji went to his workshop, and a few times, he would take their dad’s car without their permission to show his friends that he could drive. He did it mostly when there was fuel scarcity in Abeokuta and Mr Ademola opted for public transport. The day he was caught by their father, Mr Ademola was livid, he gave his son the beating of his life that he would never forget, and it took the intervention of neighbours to calm him down, even his wife could not intervene. Since then, no one touched their father’s car, not even when Deji was an undergraduate. He would rather drive his mum’s car but that didn’t stop Deji from washing his dad’s car every weekend.
In a few weeks, Itunu got a car with the help of an agent. She was so thrilled to be finally weaned off public transport or carpooling with colleagues. She also went shopping for new clothes and sought ideas on places in town where she could get to meet new people. She was in a new church every Sunday in her hunt for a husband; this time, no holding back. It was Mummy Grace and her friends that first noticed this change of lifestyle and tried to draw her attention but she brushed them off. She made sure she attended any party she was invited to - birthdays, housewarming, weddings – as long as there was a party, she was there. The direct result of this was that she stopped going to church every Sunday. The weekends got so busy that she had to sleep in on Sundays to catch some rest.
Soon, she met Sope who openly declared that he was married. All he wanted was a companion as his wife and kids were in the UK, and this time, Itunu jumped in with a clear knowledge of what she was getting into. They were in each other’s bed, just catching fun. Itunu didn’t feel bad about it except on rare occasions but she made sure to shrug it off so she could enjoy the relationship while it lasted. She tried to ensure that they didn’t use protection while in bed. If she couldn’t get a husband, she could, at least, get pregnant and have a child. That was her new mission.
A few months into the relationship, Sope’s wife arrived and they had to let go of the relationship. Then, she moved on to other men and even dated one of her bosses whom she met at one of the opening ceremonies of a top restaurant. She was just having drinks when he walked over and chatted her up, and that was the beginning. They kept their relationship a secret private at work but after office hours, they were in each other’s arms. It was a mutual relationship but they soon called it off because he relocated out of town.
By Itunu’s 39th birthday, she’d had her share of causal relationships that led nowhere, sleeping from one man to another, while trying to avoid men with troublesome wives. It was just that as much as she tried, trouble just always seemed to find her. Reminiscing about it, the most troublesome of them was Alero. She cursed and tormented Itunu, they were at each other’s throats every time as Itunu wasn’t ready to give up the relationship unless their common factor, Osas was ready to give her up. One day, Alero had come to work to create a scene and it was the security personnel that intervened in the matter. Alero would trail them to different parts of town to cause trouble, no matter how secluded the place was. The two women abused themselves verbally each time they met. Osas had tried to warn his wife but the woman wasn’t having it. She claimed that she was fighting for her marriage.

CHAPTER FIVE

Itunu arrived in Abuja in the evening and took a taxi to her brother’s house; she’d never been to Abuja. She liked what she was seeing, the city did smell of wealth, and as the taxi took her through town, she saw how young girls were driving their cars calmly, grooving to whatever music they were listening to. Itunu saw some nice houses too, there were also nice houses in Lagos, but she had never gone to that part of town as she knew no one there. Finally, the taxi dropped her at a beautiful apartment complex, the drive from the airport to Deji’s house seemed far but she was carried away by the side attraction on the road. As if on cue, the gate opened and Idara came running towards her while she tried to retrieve her travelling bag from the boot.
“Welcome, IT! Welcome to Abuja! We have really missed you,” Idara said all at once as she hugged her sister-in-law. Itunu paid the taxi driver while Idara collected the travel bag from her and led her to their 2-bedroom apartment. Entering her brother’s living room, she was met with 2 pairs of eyes looking at her.
“Demilade, stand up! Come and greet your aunty,” Idara said to her son. The boy looked from his mum to the stranger, confused and stood up reluctantly from the table where he was doing his homework to prostrate. “Good evening, ma, “ he said while his sister continued to look on.
“Demilade, so you don’t remember me again?” Itunu said and pulled the little boy into an embrace. “It’s Fadekemi that doesn’t know me at all.”
“Kemi, stand up and greet your aunty.” Idara commanded, but the little girl did not move from her position.
“IT, what would you like to eat? I just made some Edikaikong soup as soon as your brother called me that you were coming. I don’t know if you will be interested, or do I make something else?”
“Anything you make is fine, it’s been a while since I ate that soup, so I don’t mind.”
Idara went to the kitchen while Itunu used the opportunity to observe her unfamiliar environment. She could see their wedding picture on the wall and two baby pictures - Demilade and Fadekemi as babies. Idara returned to the living room later to help her kids finish their homework and by this time, the youngest child, Ayo, was awake. Soon, Deji returned from work but the children had gone to bed, so the adults remained in the living room to talk about the city, politics, and things generally.
Itunu found her short stay quite interesting, especially as her nephew warmed up to her and asked a lot of questions.
“Aunty, where do you live?” he asked innocently the following day after school.
“I live in Lagos.”
“So why don’t you come to Grandma and Grandpa’s house? Anytime we go to Abeokuta, we fly to Lagos, then enter a car to Abeokuta but we don’t see you.
“I have been busy but I will try and come next Christmas. You might see me, don’t worry.”
The four days that Itunu spent with the family were fun, she enjoyed her change of environment, plus it made her forget her sadness for a while. When Deji called their parents in Abeokuta to let them know Itunu was visiting, they were speechless. For someone that refused to come to Abeokuta which is just some kilometres from Lagos but could fly farther to the nation’s capital, it was a shocker for them all. Deji knew his sister was going through another rough patch and tried to encourage her to open up, but she didn’t, so he chose not to bother her. He was content that she chose his place to cool off. By the weekend, Deji took his whole family sightseeing to enjoy a glimpse of the nation’s wealth on display and ended the day shopping. Itunu had pure fun. She loved how quiet her little nephew was and it made her yearn for her own child. Itunu carried him at any given opportunity. Such a peaceful child!

WHY ME?!
She wished God was in her room so she could strangle Him till He knows how she hurts. she was mad at God, yes, God! Well, that’s even if He exists. Or how did God sit in heaven and allow her to go through all this pain, rejection, shame? How?
“You are wicked!” she shouted, looking upwards. “Haba, what did I do wrong that is so difficult to forgive? What? And they say you are not partial? You are partial? Nobody can tell me otherwise! I have prayed, I have sown seed, I give according to my ability, I was a virgin for years, I grew up knowing that you exist, but now I am not too sure, all I know is that you are wicked, I had only one prayer point for years, just one! At 37, what do you want me to do with my life?” how did a star girl who almost finished with a first class end up at the tail of the ladder. She remembered her first heartbreak, just like that she was back to square one.
She fell onto the bed and began to cry hysterically. Itunu cried for what seemed to be a very long time before sleep swept her away. She woke up later with a banging headache and a loud noise, observing her environment for a moment to know where she was, and all the emotions of the last few hours came rushing back. She saw all the things on the floor and hissed. Just then, she realized that her phone was ringing. Could it be Paul calling to say that everything was a joke? She rushed to her handbag on the floor to retrieve her phone and saw that it was a call from Janet. She hissed again as she didn’t feel like talking to anyone.
Then she remembered the pity and shame she saw in people’s eyes when Lanre broke her heart. Would she have to go through all that again? Gosh! “Jesus, you are wicked!” she shouted. “How do I overcome this shame?” The last time she got served like this, her new job came at the nick of time but now, she couldn’t afford to resign from this job, so where will she hide her face? She wondered.
A sound from her phone broke into her thoughts and she looked at it. 10 missed calls! Janet, Azeez, and her direct boss had called her, even her Pastor’s wife. The sleep must have been deep because she heard none of it. There was also a message, it was from her Pastor’s wife. It reads:
“My sister, how are you? I hope your day is going on well. I remembered you a few mins ago and I was led to share Zep 3:17 ‘The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love, he will no longer rebuke you but will rejoice over you with singing. See you on Sunday.’”
She hissed. “Which God? The same one that allowed me to go through heartbreak over and over? Abeg, this woman should just leave me.” Then a thought came to her mind. She needed to be in a new environment, as far as possible from her current place. She would have to come up with a way to deal with her colleagues, but now, she needed to move!
She took her phone to call her boss and she was surprised that he was so understanding. Her colleagues must have briefed him. Anyways, she took 2 days off, and being a weekend, it would make the break longer. She called her brother that she was coming to Abuja to say hello. That was all! She took a taxi to the airport, bought a ticket and switched off her phone.

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After that encounter, Itunu and Paul saw themselves every day at lunch. Even when she brought lunch from home, she could still go to the restaurant to see Paul. When she went with her colleagues, she excused herself to eat with Paul while her colleagues ate together or they all ate together. This became a routine. They also exchanged numbers and talked all night through the pocket-friendly “MTN Xtracool.” Then, they went from calls to meeting in the evenings too. At some point, she was worried about his age, but she later found out that he was a year older. Case settled! He kept insisting on knowing her house, but she stylishly kept it a secret from him. When she asked to be friends with him on Facebook, he said he didn’t have an account with the excuse that he was not very sociable and he preferred a quiet life. Out of curiosity, Itunu did a little digging but she couldn’t find anything on him on Facebook, just a few pictures of him with a helmet on his company account. Her curiosity was satisfied, she was at peace with him, and soon, she told the Akumes about Paul and they were excited for her.
The relationship was tasking; dating in Lagos seemed to be a full-time job. It took the extra time she had for weekly service as they were also meeting physically or on the phone. He seemed not to be available on weekends as his job was at its peak at the factory. Soon, her pastor and his wife were concerned but she reassured them that all was well and she would introduce Paul to them without delay.
Some days later, the Akumes shared a piece of good news with Itunu - they were relocating to the UK, She was happy for them as good things were all happening at once. One more time, she remembered Lanre, maybe she too would have been in the UK with her family, done with childbearing. Yet here she was at 36, not yet married. She congratulated her friends and helped with their packing; they were going to sell some of their things and give others away. She only wished that they would meet Paul before travelling, but it seemed difficult as Paul was always working.
By the following month, the Akumes travelled, and Itunu felt their absence so much. Thankfully, she still had Paul, Janet, and Azeez at work, her pastor’s wife also, who she now considered a friend. Sometimes she felt so lonely but she was determined never to look back. As a matter of fact, she purposed never to go home, not to her parents, siblings or church. Even when her grandmother died at the age of 92, she didn’t attend the burial, she only saw pictures of the events. She didn’t go home for the last Christmas holidays either, and never went home to see any of her nephews or nieces. Deji had two more kids, a boy and a girl and Ibukun had another girl. She only saw their pictures on Facebook, and called as often as she could. Another thing she did was to call her parents regularly and send them money, that way, their minds were at rest.
Her relationship with Paul bloomed, and he tried to take her out to see Lagos once in a while as Itunu was also a hard worker who had no time to go see beautiful places. He took her to watch a stage play at the National Arts theatre. He took her to the beach; Itunu had never been to the beach. He was such a good listener. She told him about her failed engagement with Lanre, and how she had packed her bags and moved from Abeokuta to Lagos. He, in return, told her how he had supported his long-time girlfriend through school till Masters level, only to dump him for a richer guy, and Itunu felt sorry for him. Besides the fact that he listened well, he never pressurized her for sex, never! He would kiss her on her forehead or hands. He was such a romantic person, from time to time he would sing old romantic songs for her, making her heart swell. Even though he had a terrible voice, it was the intent that made Itunu love him the more. Sometimes in her head, she compared her relationship with Paul with that of Lanre in the past. This was better. He never complained, he let her talk to his parents who were far away in Ekiti on the phone and the fact that he never pressured her for sex was the icing on the cake. With the way their friendship was going, it was only a matter of time. Indeed, everything will be beautiful in its own time.
Until when it’s not!
One day, during their usual lunch at the restaurant, they chatted lightly and suddenly, Paul stopped mid-sentence and dropped his face sharply. As she opened her mouth to ask if he was fine, she was interrupted by a loud female voice.
“Paul, this is who is distracting you from your family, right?” Itunu looked up and saw a heavily pregnant woman. Her heart sank. She looked from the woman to the man whom she was in love with. No, this can’t be happening. Paul, a married man? Paul’s head was still bent in shame. Itunu stood up instantly, took her handbag and went home. She didn’t even bother to go back to work.
Paul is married?! She wondered in shock. How come? Didn’t she see the signs? Where was his wife during all the “Xtra cool” calls, the outings, the gift buying? He never wore a ring! Who was on the other side of the phone when he claimed she was talking to his mom? Could this be happening to her again? After all these years, she finally gets the attention of a man but he is married? How so? No one could tell her otherwise. Of a truth, she’s been cursed because only a cursed person would claim this chain of misfortunate. Wait! Did her parents offend anyone? Who was taking revenge on her? Did she punish any junior in her days as a senior student? There must be an explanation because this was getting out of hand. Despite not being intimate with Paul, she was emotionally and physically spent, she invested her all, and now, this?!
Her mind was in turmoil as she journeyed home. She was sure Janet and Azeez would have seen the scene unfolding as she remembered the days when they made jest of her as a lover girl because she stopped eating with them. How was she going to face her colleagues? Lord, this is too much! Right in the taxi, tears were rolling down her eyes. Not again! A sweet relationship of 6 months gone into thin air just like that! Again? She would definitely end up single for the rest of her life. What did she do wrong? This time she was celibate, she wanted to do it right, she’d been praying about him, what else? She prayed, she fasted, she waited, what else?
The first thing she did as soon as she got home was to remove her cloth as the heat that she was feeling in her body was going to suffocate her. She sat on her bed to throw her shoes away and her eyes caught the daily affirmation that she pasted on the wall. With rage, she stood up and tore it off the wall, took her Bible from her bedside and threw it on the floor. There was a wooden decoration of “God is good” on her dressing table which she threw on the floor and it broke into pieces. She was mad as she looked around wildly, and with one sweep, all the contents on her dresser were on the floor. Not fully satisfied, she pushed her shoe rank, throwing all her shoes on the floor, but she needed more avenues to display the fury raging inside of her, so she screamed with the whole of her lungs.
WHY ME?!

****
Living in Lagos was a totally different life for Itunu. It was strange that she never had reasons to come to Lagos, except a few times like her brother’s wedding and one of her cousin’s wedding. While at the University, some of her friends that came from Lagos usually made those of them that lived outside Lagos feel like second-class citizens, but after living in Lagos for a few days, she wondered what made Lagos so special. Was it the annoying traffic? Or the thugs that paraded the bus stops? Or the dirty gutters? Or the noise, everyone in Lagos seems to be angry or in a hurry. Compared to Abeokuta, Lagos was like a battlefield.
A few weeks earlier, Itunu had gotten a job with a FCMG multinational company after going for a series of interviews, and with the help of God and an old friend, Papa, the fellowship President from NCCF days. Papa, whose original name is Innocent Akume, had married Layo a few years after their youth service. Itunu was not a stranger to the couple as they had all served in Abia State together. She stayed with them for a few days as the apartment they had secured for her was a few days behind in its renovations. Layo had helped Itunu to settle down, taught her the twists and turns of the city, and dropped her along the way to work.
Within weeks, Itunu had settled in and was adjusting okay. This time, she took it upon herself to update her parents regularly so they don’t think the worst of her. She joined a church, Celebrate Jesus (CJ) not far from her house and began to attend weekly services too as time permitted her. This time around, she had a daily affirmation that she was committed to. Her new Pastor and his wife were very observant people and they began to get more friendly towards her. They invited her over and joined hands in praying for her after knowing her major prayer point. The church was small anyways, so it was easy to identify new faces. Every morning, Itunu would recite her affirmation:
“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not lack anything good, a good husband is a good thing; therefore, I receive mine.” Anytime her mind was straying to dark places, she would recite it. She had wanted to follow Innocent and Layo to their church but it seemed too far. If she wanted to live long in Lagos, she had to dedicate her weekends to resting strictly, so after following them a couple of times, she declined. Celebrate Jesus (CJ) was a small church and it reminded Itunu about her days of campus fellowship; everyone seems so nice and welcoming.
Thanks to the Akumes and a few members of CJ, Itunu was beginning to enjoy Lagos. A few weeks later, the church declared a 7-day prayer and fasting for its members which Itunu took part in passionately. Everything she had prayed for in Lagos had checked out - her job, her apartment, and good colleagues at work - so she was on the right path, this is the time for her to meet her husband.
The program was powerful, Itunu had only one request, just one! She was open-minded and prayed with her whole heart believing that her time was here. It was not so surprising for Itunu when she went out for lunch at her favourite restaurant and was approached by a TDH (Tall, Dark and Handsome) man.
“Hi, can I sit with you?” the young man said, smiling at her. Still shocked, Itunu looked behind her to double-check if the man was talking to her, and for someone who hardly had an admirer, she was blushing too much.
“Sure, you can sit down.” She offered him the second seat.
“My name is Paul, I am an Engineer with Midas Fabricator Company, just down the road.” He introduced himself and simultaneously stretched his hand for a handshake which Itunu obliged. “I see you almost every day, though, in the company of your colleagues.”
Wow! This guy must have been seeing her eating with her friends and couldn’t approach her. Thank God she came to lunch alone, Janet and Azeez had told her to go ahead that they were busy today.
“Yea, we come here for lunch often. I’m Itunu, I work with AKON just across the road.” She pointed in the direction of her place of work.
“Yea, I know.” They both smiled.
Wow! God dey create sha! See fine boy! Well, it is my turn, I can’t be patiently waiting on God for him to now give me rubbish lailai, I deserve the best. This one is good for the eyes.

CHAPTER FOUR

By September, it was time for schools to resume for the new academic session, and all Itunu had on her mind was how stagnant her life was. Ibk had been offered a job at the bank and she had gone to resume at one of the Lagos branches. To beat the Lagos traffic, the arrangement was for her to stay with one of her friends on weekdays and at Daddy Eko’s house on weekends. Deji was comfortable with a stable job in Abuja. Itunu felt stuck and staying on in Abeokuta was a harsh reminder of her failed relationship. Whenever she saw the trademark yellow and green Abeokuta taxi, she couldn’t help but recall her first meeting with Lanre. She could not pass in front of a bank without remembering him. Even going to Kuto market reminded her of when both of them had gone to buy a wedding gift for a mutual friend. Everything remained fresh in her memory.
“I can’t continue like this, Lord!” she prayed one morning. “I need to move on; heal me! I need testimony in my life. I hand over my plans to you, Lord.”
From her mouth to God’s ears it was. A few days later, her dad came home with an official appointment letter to work with the Ogun State Government. Itunu’s joy knew no bounds. This is progress! Finally, some good news! Thank you, Jesus!
Itunu resigned from her teaching job to commence the 3-month training. At last, she’s officially a civil servant, just like her parents, just like she had always dreamed, even though her life clock seemed to be a little slow. She was sure that she was now on track. With her dream job at hand, marriage was definitely next. Within the next two years, all should be fine.
Soon, it was Christmas time. Everyone was home, even young Tolani did not travel home to see her parents, she was enjoying her new home. Deji broke the news to his parents that he had met whom he wanted to get married to. At the age of 32, Deji was finally ready to settle down with his Efik-Ibibio fiancé, Idara. When they both arrived a day before Christmas, the house became lively again. Itunu was practically surprised that her parents had accepted Idara. Well, even though she wasn’t Yoruba, she spoke Yoruba fluently as someone who was born and bred in Lagos. So, who was Itunu not to accept her? Little did she know that she was going to gain a sister indeed. In a matter of weeks, there was a lavish wedding between the two young people. The wedding was held in Lagos where Idara’s parents reside, and the wedding was crowded but beautiful. It was Itunu’s first time in Lagos. Mr. and Mrs. Ademola had lots of friends and as Vice Principal and Surveyor still on active duty, all their staff and colleagues - both new and old - came to support them, even church members were not left behind. The new couple had to travel down to Abeokuta for the church thanksgiving though. It was a long 3-day ceremony.
For a while, no one cared about Itunu’s marital status. At 30, she was still waiting for the right man, coupled with her new job which was so demanding. Who knew civil service work would be this tasking? She had always thought civil servants did very little at work, but her department proved her wrong. In addition, she had a slave driver as her boss; the man was such an industrious worker. The man was kind enough to advise her on the tickets to quick promotion on her job - certification and recognized professional courses. And this was what she faced head-on, without reservation. Dapo, Deji’s friend showed some interest in her for a while but noticed that she wasn’t ready emotionally, so he let her be. She wished it could work out as he was a Baptist member like herself, plus he was from a reputable family like herself, their parents knew each other, and he had a good job, but somehow she had to let him go.
By the time Itunu was 31 going on 32, IBK had started to throw subtle hints that she would like to get married soon but was waiting for her elder sister to be married first. IBK and her fiancé, Olu, had been looking for ways to be transferred to Abeokuta after living in Lagos for a few years. Abeokuta truly seems like a decent place to raise a family as opposed to the overcrowded Lagos. Besides, it would offer close proximity to family members for support. Both IBK and Olu worked in the banking sector but in different organizations; they met at one of their official seminars. Itunu had stylishly told her sister that she wasn’t stopping her from getting married as she had no one, let alone being engaged. By this time, Deji had announced that they have been delivered of a baby boy and Surveyor Ademola was also due to retire in a few weeks.
Everything seemed to be going well at work for Itunu. Also, with the influx of 2go, Facebook and cheaper call rates, she was able to reach out to some of her friends. With the introduction of social media, a friend is just a click away and the world is more like a global village. She had made a few friends at the office who were friendlier than she expected and even inviting her to church programs. But IT didn’t believe in going from one church to another, she just wasn’t trained that way, but as long as she didn’t have to go see the Pastor or Evangelist specifically for prayers, she tried to attend. Itunu was more open to prayer meetings outside her denomination, partaking in different prayers and fasting as she was led. By now, almost all her female cousins and friends were married, even the guys were not left behind. On a few occasions, her friends tried to match make her with some single guys. Itunu was open to different outings and meetings with high hopes that her husband will locate her someday. Sometimes, her mind would wander to Lanre. How many children would she have had now? The faces of the children…who would they resemble? She thought of how she would have taken her children to Olumo Rock, just like her parents took her to the most popular tourist destination in the city.
As the years rolled by and nothing was happening, Itunu decided to get herself a car. Why continue to save her money while waiting for a man? But her mother was vehemently against the idea and insisted that getting a car will only push the men further away.
By Christmas of the following year, the house was fuller with the pregnant Ibukun and her husband, Olu, Deji, Idara, and little Demilade, even little Tolani was not so little anymore. The Ademolas were looking forward to Christmas as they had invited a few friends and family over to celebrate with them. The house never remained the same, with all the shouting, cooking, and singing. Itunu wasn’t enjoying all these celebrations anymore, especially as she could see pity in the eyes of their visitors, and it seemed to her that the people were walking on eggshells around her. Family gatherings and wedding ceremonies were the worst for her; everyone had a neighbour, brother, cousin, or Pastor’s son that they wanted her to meet, and if she dared refuse, there was a “you are no more a little girl” talk. She had no option anymore, some people even felt she was picky. How can she be picky? At this rate, she was ready to marry anyone as long as he was a Christian. Now, she had taken the bull by the horn to go for prayers and booked appointments to see any Pastor that trusted friends recommended to her. She had even gone as far as Lagos twice to see a Pastor for deliverance. But nothing was working. She had rededicated her life to God, forgiven Lanre with all her heart, abandoned her list, and actively joined the church workforce (she cleaned the church every Saturday).
What else do you want from me, God? she cried one evening. Was I cursed? Who did I offend? Do I have a spirit husband? Are all the able-bodied men blind, or is there a veil covering me? No man, not even a thug? Like how bad is my case, or am I to cross the line and simply approach a suitor?
The home was also becoming unpleasant for her these days since her parents retired from active service. Sometimes, her siblings would drop her nephew and niece with them over the weekend or holidays and the kids would enter her room, and scatter her room or mess up her dressing table. At first, it was Ruby. Itunu was even angry at her sister for naming her daughter Ruby. Which one is Ruby again? Is she a doll? Whatever happened to good Yoruba names like Tomike, and Olamide, or biblical names like Deborah or Daniella. Anyway, that’s her business!
It started when Ruby was a few months old. Ibukun was complaining that Ruby was always falling sick and then, they realized that it was the daycare that was sloppy, so they started to bring her to her grandparent’s. The child was peaceful, sometimes she could spend days at a stretch and she stopped falling ill which encouraged her parents to bring her more, then Demilade too joined. Every holiday, he was in Abeokuta, and soon, they had to get a housemaid to assist Tolani who had just completed her apprenticeship as a tailor, so the housemaid was to help with the running around with the toddlers.
Gradually, Itunu stopped going to her home church, she found another church to start over to reduce the irritating comments from people. Also, she was no longer sure what group she belonged to anymore. She was getting too old for the youth as most of her peers were already married, and the younger ones in the youth group felt uncomfortable around her while the married women were clear on the sole requirement of joining their group – marriage. She needed fresh eyes. She was also tired of the Reverend referring to her in his weekly message – or so it seemed. Even the siblings of her friends were all getting married!
Year after year, no man came along, and she became very worried. Every year, Itunu would attend major Pentecostal church programs, trusting that God would hear her plea. Her mother’s anointing oil too was in the mix. As she clocked 36, she knew she had to do something drastic, she needed to think about the trajectory of her life, change location if need be, and for sure, there are no men in Abeokuta for her, she concluded. She needed a bigger city like Abuja, Ibadan, or Lagos, she didn’t want to go where she knew anyone. She was sure that her brother would not let her live alone, so that ruled Abuja out of it. Lagos was a good option but considering the tales of Lagos that Ibukun gave years ago, she didn’t know if she would be able to survive there. She knew quite a few people in Lagos; her “fellowship Papa” during her NYSC days whom she reconnected with on Facebook, two of her cousins who had left Abeokuta for Lagos, and even Daddy Eko was an option. She had to plan her moves very well. Lagos seemed like a better option, so she began to contact all her friends and relatives that lived in Lagos, sending them her properly packaged CV. Better to just resign and start life afresh. “It is foolishness to keep doing the same thing and expect a different result,” she had heard wise people say. Something had to give.
There are a few things Itunu knew she was going to miss in Abeokuta. One person she would miss was her friend, Ope. They had kept their friendship from secondary school days; while Ope went to Science class, Itunu went to Commercial class. Even though they went to different universities, they still bonded well and their parents knew each other well. Ope’s father was also a teacher like Itunu’s mum. Ope was that one friend that Itunu knew who still prayed for her since she’d seen her name on her prayer request list years ago; she was a good friend. The second person was her grandma, her only living grandparent who currently lived with one of her uncles. A few times she‘d followed her parents to greet Grandma and the old woman would pray for her wholeheartedly each time. She would miss Dapo too. Even though he’d married, he had become her good friend. She could have included her sister-in-law, Idara, on the list of people she would miss, but distance had put a strain on their relationship, and they called each other often anyway.
One day, Itunu worked up the courage to inform her parents of her plans to relocate to Lagos. Mrs. Ademola burst into tears.
“Itunu, why are you doing this to us…do you want to kill yourself…did we make you feel uncomfortable…? Stay with us…you can even move out if you want to but don’t leave town. Who do you know in Lagos?” As the older woman continued to lament, Mr. Ademola stayed silent.
“So, what are your plans?” he asked his daughter.
Itunu told her parents of her job hunt, and once it was done, she was ready to move, so she was just giving them a heads up. They concluded that Itunu must inform them once she got a job. She should have known that it wouldn’t be that simple. Her parents started calling her siblings, their Reverend, Ope, and everyone that they thought mattered to her to talk her out of her decision to relocate. They disturbed her day in, day out with phone calls and texts but she stayed calm. She was sure of her decision, and nothing was going to stop her from moving. Her brother even came down from Abuja to have a one-on-one talk with her, after which he told his parents to back off.
****

Note to my readers,
Thank you for downloading my book on okadabooks, because of you, i got on the bestseller list.
Thank you.

Continuation

******

Itunu spent a few days in the hotel room in Ibadan. She kept asking herself: What went wrong? Was it because we had sex? After all, there are many people that have sex before marriage. Some even get pregnant and abort it, yet they still get married, abi? Or is it because he wasn’t a Baptist like I always desired? Sorrow gripped her heart. Where would she start from? She continued to lament. When I finally meet my husband, how would I explain that I had only one sexual partner? How will he believe me, ehn? No, he won’t believe me! Chai! I should have kept myself o! Ah! Lanre, my God will judge you. She cursed Lanre with all the pain in her heart.
But wait! Lanre was a good man from all indications, and he genuinely cared for her, so what could have gone wrong? Or was it because she was rushing him? If he knew he wanted to travel, he should have involved her and they would have processed all the travelling together. Why didn’t he just open up? Travelling was a good thing, and they would have planned together. Or was she blind to the red flags? Were there even any red flags at all? They had arguments like every normal couple, nothing abnormal about that. Did he leave her because he wanted to travel? He would have married her if he didn’t plan to travel, right? And none of his family members was kind enough to tell her about his travel plans, yet they called her “our wife.” God in heaven will judge all of them.
Indeed, the heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can understand it?
Her mind went to her family and it brought fresh tears to her eyes. She knew this was partly a result of her silent competition with her sister, IBK. And now, IBK had won.
IBK! Her greatest competitor!
Her sister had recently finished her service year and was actively seeking ways to get retained with the bank where she served. Already, the bank had promised to get in touch with her soon. Deji was still in Abuja living a little bit comfortably as a bachelor. Everyone seemed to be doing fine - except her. Here she was with a teaching job that paid peanuts, and now, a failed engagement. What a waste!
Feeling the need to use the bathroom, she caught a glimpse of her face in the mirror placed above the sink as she washed her hands. She couldn’t even recognize herself. Her hair was dishevelled, eyes bloodshot, lips swollen, she was a total mess. Feeling sorry for herself, she had a fleeting thought of suicide. Will ending her life be better than this shame? She had only heard of called-off engagement in movies, never in reality. If she died, who will be more hurt? Maybe her parents, yes, and her siblings. She would never know but, at least, she won’t be around to feel the pain. She tossed the suicidal thoughts around her mind for a few minutes but she ditched it eventually and resumed her crying.
After the long weekend of weeping and sobbing intermittently, Itunu knew it was time to go back home. She gathered whatever strength and dignity were left in her and set out for home. On approaching the house, she was shocked at the small crowd of people in her father’s compound and she could see the worry etched on their faces. Even her brother was there, as well as their church Reverend, and three other church members.
As they sighted her at the gate, somebody shouted “Praise the Lord!” and the others chorused “Hallelujah!” Her younger cousin, Tolani, who had been living with her family for months, was the first to jump on her and collected her bags. Mrs. Ademola sobbed loudly as she sighted her daughter.
“Mummy Deji, it’s okay…the Lord has heard our prayers…no need for tears,” one of the deaconesses comforted Mrs. Ademola. Without a care in the world, Itunu went into her room and shut the door. “Why are they crying? I am the one that was abandoned very close to the altar, so why is she crying?” she snapped angrily to no one as she sat on her bed. Soon, she heard the loud voice of the Reverend in a prayer of thanksgiving. Itunu did not come out of her room till the next day. Thankfully, no one bothered to knock on her door.
When she came out of her room the next day, she didn’t see any of her parents in the house, and from the corner of her eyes, she could see Tolani watching her like a hawk.
“Eh en, did they tell you to be monitoring my movement?” Itunu barked and the young lady scampered like a rat. She hissed at regular intervals as she just felt angry at everything and everyone. Thankfully, the school had been on vacation, so had sufficient time to herself. She sat down in the living room and switched on the TV to scan through the channels. She was so absent-minded that she didn’t know when her brother sat by her side.
“IT, where did you go?” he asked.
“Ibadan!” She answered without looking at him.
“Did you go to see Lanre’s parents?”
“Yes!”
“Why didn’t you call? Your note wasn’t clear…it sounded like a suicide note.”
“Suicide note? How? What do you mean by suicide note? I needed closure… See, nobody understands what I’m going through… Then I come back and I see Mummy crying as if she was the one that her heart was broken. What was all that?” She turned to look at Deji with fierce anger on her face.
“We were all heartbroken, we are a family. It happened to you directly, but we were all affected. When Daddy called my office, I had to fly down…unplanned. I left everything I was doing…I had to be here for all of us. We were all affected because you are a part of us.”
“If I am part of the family, where is Ibukun? Didn’t she hear what happened to me?”
“She’s home, but I think she went out. She arrived from Lagos before me, I met her at home.” Deji explained.
Itunu looked away. She could see that everyone was concerned about her but that didn’t heal her of the agony inside her heart.
“Deji, you don’t understand. Lanre left me high and dry, where do I start?” She started sobbing. “At what age, ehn? Look at me. Where do I start? He was my first and I was hoping he would be my one and only. I was so careful, and look at my life now, how will I be able to walk on the street without people staring at me? Ope, Tayo, all of them, all are married!”
Deji allowed his sister to pour out her mind for a few more minutes, then he began to comfort her.
“I don’t have an idea of what you are going through but I want to believe that all will be fine, just take your time to heal.” he said to her.
“And promise me something.”
“What?”
“That you won’t disappear again. Even if you need time alone, tell someone where you are going and we will give you your space...is that okay?”
“Yes,” she said quietly and the two of them had a long hug. They were interrupted by a knock on the door. The door opened and it was Dapo. He raised his hands towards heaven in a silent prayer of thanksgiving as he saw the siblings hugging.
“She came home yesterday evening after you left,” Deji explained to his friend.
“Itunu, it’s good to have you home,” Dapo said with a smile on his face to Itunu who doing a bad job of hiding her surprise.
“Padi, I just wanted to check in again and I am grateful that she’s home, so I will take my leave,” Dapo said to Deji as they both had a brotherly handshake.
“Thanks, mate, greet everyone for me. Let me see you out.”
The two friends walked out. Itunu was not happy at all. She began to wonder if the whole town knew about her disappearing act because that meant colleagues from school would soon be coming to check on her and looking at her with pity. She hissed. Why did her family have to inform everyone, why? What’s the meaning of all this rubbish? A few minutes later, her brother came in and they sat down to watch TV together.
Later that night, Mr. and Mrs. Ademola called for a family meeting since this was the first time in a while they had all their children in the same room. As soon as Deji gained admission into the university, everything had changed.
“I am happy that we are alive and well,” Mr Ademola started. “We are proud of you. We have never had reasons to be worried about any of you, you have proved yourself to be good children and I want it to remain that way. I pray that God will continue to keep all of us…one of my major prayers is that I will not use my hands to bury any of my ch…” Mrs. Ademola interrupted her husband with a loud sob, diverting everyone’s attention to her. Quickly, Deji went to sit by his mum to console her, and looking at his parents, he spoke up.
“Daddy, Mummy, thank you for everything you are doing for us as our parents. We appreciate all the advice, morals, and support, we are not taking it for granted, if I may… I know that the last few days have been rough on everyone, especially with what happened to Itunu.” He paused and looked at his younger sister to gauge her reaction.
“It will not happen again. She was in a hotel alone trying to sort herself out, and she didn’t realize that it will become this much of an issue. She is sorry…and I pray that you will live long to reap the fruit of your labour and see your grandchildren in Jesus’ name.”
“Amen” Everyone chorused. Drying her eyes with the edge of her cloth, Mrs. Ademola looked at her children and said, “Moving on…because I don’t pray to experience what happened to me in the last few days again in my life, all of you should go and get mobile phones. I know it is expensive but you can get the small Sagem or Nokia. I am giving all of you till next month to get this sorted. Meanwhile, for those that are not at home, go to the business centre to call us at least once a week, just so we know that everyone is okay. Is that okay?”
“Yes, ma,” they choused.
“At least, this is one of the things that Obasanjo did for us, let’s enjoy it. Get your line, and even if you don’t have credit to call, send a text for N50. God will keep you all.”
“Amen!”

CHAPTER THREE

It was Itunu’s first job and she took it seriously. Her classes were in the late afternoon on weekdays, and on Saturday mornings. The pay wasn’t good, but it was better than nothing. She kept applying for better jobs and continued to put pressure on her parents to get her a job with the Civil Service. This was her dream, and everything was finally coming together. Deji was doing well in Abuja and working with a private logistics company. IBK, however, was completely overwhelmed by the misery of the ASUU strike, stuck in her second year for months on end and trying to keep hope alive that the strike would get called off soon.
It was during this phase that Itunu met Lanre. One Saturday morning, she dressed up as usual for her Saturday Accounting lesson and rushed out of the house. The sun was at its peak, and it had no intention of retiring soon. Luckily, she didn’t have to wait for too long before a cab came along. She quickly noticed that there was only one passenger in the cab that sunny afternoon. The two of them fell into a light conversation about the hot weather and even the driver joined in the chitchat as Lanre, the other passenger, jokingly begged the sun to be merciful on the earth. Soon, the conversation ebbed and the young man took the opportunity to introduce himself to Itunu. To her utmost shock, he told her that he had seen her a few days ago at the bank where she’d come in for a transaction. She was quite impressed to know that he had noticed her and could still remember her after seeing her just briefly. That was a big plus! She smiled at him, feeling delighted. Lanre alighted from the cab with her with high hopes that they could get to know each other better. Itunu gave him her neighbour’s landline number (her family didn’t have a phone at the time) and her family’s postal address.
After that, they met at various places in town, especially on Saturdays and they talked on the phone during the week (Lanre used his office landline while Itunu received his calls at her neighbour’s house). Before long, Lanre began to show more interest in her, and it was fine because she liked him too. Lanre was originally from Ibadan city but had come to Abeokuta for his Youth service two years ago and was retained at the company where he served. Contrary to Itunu’s desires, he was not a Baptist member, and to make matters worse, he sometimes cracked jokes about her beliefs, and he couldn’t understand how a lady would only wear skirts and no trousers at all. They had a few disagreements but nothing out of the ordinary as their friendship blossomed. Before long, they were officially an item. Her parents were happy to see their first daughter in a relationship, she had just turned 25.
Even though things had been a little late on her self-designed life calendar, hopefully in the next two years, she would have been married and she would be right on track. As the relationship progressed, Itunu wasn’t getting her dream job in the Civil Service, hence she was forced to accept a teaching job at a private secondary school. From time to time, her parents would throw in hints of whom was going to get married first between her and Deji whenever he came on his brief visits. But Deji never minced words in telling his parents that he was not ready to tie the knots – Miss Right was yet to be found.
Why will Deji claim not to have found the right lady to marry? Itunu wondered. She was baffled because she knew his on-and-off girlfriend, Tomilola, whom he met during OAU days and somehow sustained a relationship within Abuja. So, publicly announcing that he was yet to find the right lady to settle down with was a rude shock. Itunu could have sworn that Deji and Tomi were lovers for life.
Well, she also had problems of her own to deal with, let alone dabble in Deji’s affairs. Lanre was beginning to ask her for sex with a lame but nagging excuse that it didn’t matter; since they were already engaged, they could explore each other’s bodies. By the end of their first year of relationship, they started engaging in heavy kissing, smooching, and touching, and as far as Itunu was concerned, she was safe if there was no penetration. She was determined to keep her hymen intact till her wedding night. But as the second year rolled in, they were having lots of issues. Lanre complained often that she was not sleeping over. Sleepover ke? Where will she tell her parents that she was going to? He also complained that she wasn’t helping enough with domestic chores in his apartment.
Itunu had her complaints too. Whenever she invited Lanre to special programmes in her church, he would refuse to attend but she attended all the church programmes he invited her to. Also, she was experiencing financial difficulties because her parents were owed salaries by the government for several months and feeding at home had become difficult. She expected Lanre to show some concern and make efforts to support her financially but he just seemed to look the other way.
“Lanre, I never ask you for money… but, at least, you should be able to give me some money especially when I ask you. You work in a bank, and you are doing okay, yet when I am coming to your house, I buy foodstuff to cook for you, and I never collect the money back. I expect you to pay attention to these things…” she complained bitterly that Sunday evening as they spent time together at his apartment.
“Even the few times that I ask you for money…you say that you are saving for our future. Which future when I am in the now? We live daily, and as much as I am interested in the future, we should take care of daily needs too. I am not asking for too much, just support when I ask.”
At the end of the day, they would make up and move on. To Itunu, the only thing stopping her from getting married was her job. She needed a government job, and now that it’s taking forever, she would have to keep managing her teaching job. Hopefully, it will come through after the wedding. At least, two heads are better than one.
Soon, she started to talk to Lanre about wedding plans but he showed no interest. His excuse was that he was due for promotion the following year and he wanted to buy a car before getting married. These excuses were tangible enough and Itunu thought it was best to give him time before broaching the topic again.
One chilly Sunday evening in Lanre’s apartment, one thing led to another and before Itunu knew what was happening, they had “eaten the forbidden cookie.” At first, Itunu couldn’t forgive herself as they both cuddled on the bed thereafter. Tears rolled down her eyes and she was full of regret for not waiting for her wedding night. She prayed in her heart: “Oh Lord, please forgive me. I really wanted to wait till my wedding night.” Lanre did not think much of it though. After all, they were as good as married, besides, their parents were aware of the relationship and the only thing left was for both sets of parents to meet themselves officially. For weeks, Itunu could not forgive herself, she thought of how she could get to encourage younger Lydia ladies about keeping pure. But now that she had fallen, how was she going to become a matron of the Auxiliary girls? It had been one of her dreams to coach young girls just like she’d been coached. She grew up learning from her mother about chastity, and she wanted to follow in her mum’s steps so badly but alas, she had fallen.
Before long, she was back on Lanre’s neck on the issue of marriage; it was now or never. No more delay! If he wanted to have more “cookies,” then he had to put a ring on it. After so much persuasion, Lanre agreed to get married and gave Itunu the task of choosing a convenient date for the parents to meet for the formal introduction. After so much back and forth, a date was agreed but Lanre said he wanted a small gathering for the meeting, so those were his parents’ wishes too.
Five days before the introduction ceremony, everything that could go wrong went wrong. It started from waking up late for school, to being fully drenched by the roadside by a sudden heavy downpour. By noon, she had a terrible stomachache that saw her going to the restroom frequently, and by 1 pm, she had no choice but to take permission from her boss to close early.
At 7 pm that same day, her dad got a call on his old Nokia phone from an unknown caller who introduced himself as Lanre’s father, and officially informed the Ademolas that there would be no introduction ceremony because Lanre was not - and had never been - interested in marrying Itunu. When Mr. Ademola broke the news to his daughter, Itunu slumped and refused to wake up. With the help of her parents and younger cousin who was living with them, they were able to resuscitate her. Itunu could not utter a word for two days; her mother had to go to her school to notify her boss she was critically ill and needed some days off which the school authority granted.
A few days later, when Itunu came to her senses, she went to his apartment to confirm the bad news. She was told that Lanre had moved out but one of his friends was currently living in the apartment, so she boldly knocked on the apartment door. The guy that opened the door turned out to be an acquaintance of Lanre who needed an apartment and heard that Lanre wanted to quickly sell off his properties. So, he offered to buy them and also continue to pay the house rent for the rest of Lanre’s tenancy tenure as agreed by the landlord. No, he had no information on Lanre’s whereabouts! As the story was unfolding, Itunu could not comprehend the drama. Where is Lanre? How could he possibly disappear into thin air just like that? Where did he go? She decided to ask his friends; they were all his fellow bankers anyway. They should have a better explanation for all this drama. So, she headed for the branch office where Lanre and his friends worked.
“Congratulations on the relocation, IT! So, when are you leaving?” I.D Noble had greeted her as she sat in front of him in his office.
“Congratulations on what?” She asked, more confused than ever.
“Are you not travelling with Lanre anymore?” He prodded further.
“Travelling? Where to? Look, I.D, I am looking for Lanre. Strange things are happening. Please, is he at work?” she asked nervously.
“Work bawo? Which work? Lanre resigned na, almost 10 days ago. He told us he was travelling to the UK for his Masters and that both of you are relocating together. He doesn’t work here again o!”
“Chei!” Itunu screamed, putting her two hands on her head. “Lanre has killed me!” Her shout brought some stares from the staff on the marketing floor where I.D’s workspace was situated. I.D had to quickly take her to a private office to calm her down and get her some water to drink.
“Lanre has killed me!” she shouted again as hot tears rolled down her eyes. I.D was at a loss and rushed to discuss with two of his colleagues. Who knew if they had an idea of Lanre’s whereabouts? Unfortunately, they were just as confused as Itunu herself, and also corroborated the story that Lanre told them of his relocation to the UK. Itunu felt sorry for herself as she saw the pity in their eyes.
How on earth did she end up with a scammer? Was she so in love that she was blind to the warning signs? A relationship of 4 years! Where would she start? After spending her everything on him, he had to leave her a few days before their introduction! Ah! Was that the reason he kept insisting the gathering must be small?
Itunu wasn’t ready to give up just like that. She needed answers because it all felt surreal, like she was dreaming and someone would soon wake up to. She took off for Ibadan, his parents’ house. At least, she’d been there with Lanre thrice, no, they won’t deny her.
Itunu went back home, packed a small travel bag, dropped a note for her parents, and left the house. She got to Ibadan very late in the night and went straight to her in-laws-to-be’s house. They couldn’t hide their shock when they saw her. With a stern face and malicious greetings, Itunu went straight to the point. In an attempt to calm her down, Lanre’s father requested that she take a bath and eat some food before having any discussion whatsoever but she wasn’t having any of it. So, he had no choice but to admit that as at the time he called her parents to cancel the introduction ceremony, Lanre had safely arrived in the UK. Itunu listened calmly with tears rolling down her face as her “father-in-law” broke the news to her and apologized on behalf of his son. When he was done, she looked at him in the eyes.
“In short, Lanre has left me to relocate to the UK… few days to our introduction right? After giving him everything…he couldn’t break up with me honourably...after 4 years, just like that…everything wasted…did they tell him that I am a witch or …”
“No, my daughter,” the older man interrupted her, “don’t say that… God will provide your husband.”
Itunu looked at the elderly couple and sighed as fresh tears rolled down her eyes.
“My God in heaven will judge him…”
“Lailai! Don’t curse my son, you can’t curse him lailai!” Lanre’s mum shouted vehemently. “If God wanted the two of you to be married, it would have happened, so move on…my son has moved on. God will provide your husband but please don’t curse my son.”
“That’s okay, Mummy. She’s only hurting, I understand.” The man tried to console his wife.
“Which understanding is that?” she spat back, eyeing Itunu from head to toe.
Itunu wiped her tears, took her handbag and small travel bag, and stood up to leave.
“Itunu, where are you going? It is late, almost 11 pm. Rest for the night, please, you can leave in the morning,” the old man pleaded. Itunu looked at the woman and all she could see was pure hatred. Did this woman hate me this much? Itunu asked herself
“For what’s it worth, you are the one only that our son introduced to us,” the old man continued.
“Thank you, Daddy…for everything. I’ll get a hotel. The rope joining me to you has cut, so please, let me go,” she said and quickly stepped out of the house. As she walked away, she could hear the couple in a heated argument. Well, that was their business, she was out of their lives forever.

****

Growing up in the ancient city of Abeokuta, Ogun State, everything that Itunu knew about life happened around her city. Itunu grew up in a Christian home and her parents were staunch members of Praise Baptist Church. Itunu wore her Girls’ Auxiliary uniform in those days with pride, followed by the Lydia uniform as she grew into a beautiful young lady. She took part in camp meetings and training and also participated in Bible competitions with joy as she eagerly anticipated the day she would join the Women’s Missionary Union (WMU). She could predict that her future husband would be a Baptist just like her parents. Her parents were both raised in the same neighbourhood, attended the same church and married each other; they were a match made by a mutual friend and things turned out just right. Everyone wanted to marry the daughter of a sexton. Her mother was such a good role model, and even though Mr. and Mrs. Ademola did not attend their parents’ church anymore, they attended another Baptist Church in their local area after they got married and continued even when they relocated to their own house. The Ademolas attended this same church all through their childbearing years.
Itunu saw how much her mother was respected and loved how her mother counselled a lot of women in their house. She considered her mother a role model and made up her mind from a very young age to be like her mother. She admired how her aunties (her father’s siblings) treated her mother with respect.
Growing up for Itunu was fun in the city of Abeokuta. She relived her days as a young schoolgirl at Omolabake Primary School, followed by her admission into the highly esteemed one and only ‘Afro Grams’ (African Church Grammar School) where she wore an all-white school uniform with her younger sister, Ibukun, while their elder brother, Deji had attended the prestigious Baptist Boys High School (BBHS), Saje.
Itunu was surrounded by love and godly teaching, right from her primary school days. The proprietor of the primary school was also a friend of the family, so there was no room for bad behaviour as her parents wasted no time using the rod. Her parents often quoted Proverbs 22:15: “Ìwà agídí dì sí ọkàn ọmọde, ṣugbọn pàṣán ìbáwí níí lé e jade” (Yoruba) translated “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
Having gained admission to Afro Grams as a 10-year-old into JSS 1, Itunu soon became popular as the daughter of a Mathematics teacher; the virtue that naturally came with it was impossible to miss. She had to act right to avoid any of her mother’s colleagues dragging her to the staffroom to explain any misbehaviour. And even though Mrs Ademola was transferred to another school after a few months, Itunu maintained her good behaviour. She was still surrounded by friends of her parents, even cousins and church members in almost all classes. All was well - her uniform was always neat, she had good handwriting, her school notes were up to date, she had good grades, and she was always punctual as her dad was the one that dropped her at the school gate before heading to his office at Oke Mosan, the Secretariat. Two years after, her younger sister joined her at the school. By the time she was in s.s.3, she was the head girl of her school. Academically, Itunu was brilliant.
Almost everyone Itunu knew in her life lived in Abeokuta - her cousins and all her parents’ siblings, apart from two of her uncles fondly called Daddy Abuja and Daddy Eko. Itunu grew up knowing all her grandparents. Christmas time was the best period of the year as Itunu and her siblings observed the family culture of spending the Christmas holidays with their cousins at their maternal grandparents’ house. She often looked forward to the new Naira notes that her uncles and older cousins would gift her. The house bubbled with joyful noise as the girls joined their aunties and cousins’ wives in the backyard where they cooked with firewood for the whole family while the boys had fun with a football under the fruit tree or went to the nearby farm to harvest some fruits. Sometimes, Itunu and her sibs joggled between their maternal and paternal grandparents’ houses as these families were still close. For both families, it was a dream come true. When it was time to sleep after a day filled with work or play, depending on your gender and age range, they all slept on the large mat in the living room with a lantern close by, in case someone needed to use the restroom during the night.
One of the memorable events of spending Christmas with her grandparents was the fireworks display. The boys invested their savings in fireworks, commonly called ‘Knockouts’ or ‘Bangers.’ They came with different sounds and intensities, and her cousins, sometimes, used it as an ‘instrument’ to harass each other, followed by lots of complaints and grumblings as Grandpa carried out his annual task of pacifying the angered party. Christmas was indeed fun. By the time Itunu was in SS1, ‘Grandpa Sexton,’ as he was fondly called, had passed on to glory.
Two years after that, Itunu was left with only one grandparent who had moved in with one of her uncles out of loneliness. What this meant for all the grandchildren was an end to spending Christmas at Grandpa’s house or visiting Grandpa’s church for the annual family thanksgiving. Her grandparents lived long enough to see great-grandkids from Itunu’s older cousins. What a blessed life!
The first time Itunu travelled out of Abeokuta was for her elder brother’s matriculation. Deji had gained admission into the prestigious Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU) to study Microbiology. As the Ademolas walked around the campus, Deji showed them his hall of residence, his department, and other fun places. Itunu was so intrigued that she made up her mind to also attend OAU, just like her brother. There was just something about the school that attracted her even though she still had two more years of secondary school at the time.
Life for young Itunu was interesting except for those few times that she felt pressured to be of good behaviour as her younger sister, Ibukun (IBK for short), was watching her closely. For some reason, Itunu almost always found herself under pressure, either to look up to her elder brother or to be a good example to her young sister. She felt that same pressure whenever her parents were not around and older neighbours threatened to report her to her mum for any bad behaviour. All these kept Itunu on her toes.
However, there was one thing that Itunu could not take. Family and friends at church and school considered her shapeless - no visible buttocks or breasts - and they were quite vocal about it. Not that they were wrong, but they rubbed it in by comparing her with her younger sister whose puberty clock seemed to be working overtime. She was nicknamed ‘Number 1’ and this always infuriated her, even more so when she realized that her younger sister had started menstruating and their mum had already given IBK the “if a man touches you” talk. Somehow, Itunu was seriously waiting for when she would receive the ‘red visitor,’ but her guess was right, she would have to take a chill pill. The ‘red visitor’ somehow promoted her sister among peers, friends and cousins, but Itunu had to always pretend that all was fine.
Soon, the final examinations for secondary school came knocking with all the extra lessons and drilling. And with the news of JAMB and WASSCE humbling students year in, year out, Itunu knew that she had to study very hard, especially if she would fulfil her dream of joining her elder brother in OAU. And hard she did study, but sadly, she still fell short of the cut-off score for OAU. So, instead of the Federal University, she had to settle for a nearby State-owned tertiary institution, Olabisi Onabanjo University (OOU), formerly known as Ogun State University.
She was admitted, and everything happened so fast that before she knew it, her mum was giving her the “remember the daughter of whom you are” talk, and most importantly, the “your husband must meet you at home “talk. So excited to finally live an independent life for the first time, Itunu was ready to start a new life in a strange land and ready to make Jesus and her parents proud. What a shock she got when she arrived at the school and started to see lots of familiar faces - schoolmates and friends from her coaching lesson, even two of her brother’s friends. Almost every day of the first week, she saw a familiar face; OOU was not a strange land after all! She was more astonished when she realized how quickly some of her friends changed after they got to school. Itunu had no regrets about her course of study - Accounting. She had always loved Mathematics, and that’s why her father was sort of disappointed when she decided to go to the commercial class instead of the sciences like her brother.
Everything about life as an undergraduate was new for Itunu as there was always one party or another to attend, some gist making the rounds about the trending couples on campus, or clashes between rival cults on campus. Some cult members even wore their badges boldly without fear of being rusticated. In fact, school had to be closed a few times when the cult clashes got really scary. Her school also had a handful of pathetic male lecturers who would do anything to get into the pants of their female students or touch them inappropriately; some turned their classes into a money-making venture by selling handouts desperately without any iota of shame. Despite all the happenings around her, Itunu continued to make Jesus proud, and it wasn’t long before she became an active member of a campus fellowship. Itunu was one of those students that boldly passed through the school without encountering any serious obstacles from students or lecturers.
One memorable day, her parents had dropped by her hostel unannounced (this was the era of landlines in Nigeria) on their way from the burial ceremony of a colleague’s father. You can imagine the pride on their faces when they met her in her room studying while a few of her friends, including her roommate, Joke, sat outside in the front of the hostel chatting and having fun. Itunu had goosebumps when she realized that if her parents had come just 15 minutes later, they would have met her also gisting with her friends. And from that day, she became more determined to never disappoint her parents and graduate with a First-Class.
“IT, life is not that hard…you take things too seriously. I am also a Christian, haba!” Her roommate, Joke, had teased her one day when she saw how serious she was with her studies.
By the second year of school, most of Itunu’s friends already had boyfriends; some even wore engagement rings, right before her eyes, Itunu saw some of her friends turn into what was called “runs girls” or “call girls.” None of these moved her though because she had made up her mind that she was going to get engaged during her service year, work for two years and get married; that’s the strategic plan! Some guys from the fellowship, even a few classmates, began to show interest in Itunu but her mind was made up. The only guy that had a chance was Dapo, a younger friend of her brother during their Royal Ambassador (RA) days. And yes, it’s either a Baptist member or a Baptist Member, just like her parents, nothing less. She told him that she would only be ready for a committed relationship during her service year, and if he was interested in her, he could check back later.
Towards the end of her second year in the university, there were rumours and threats of long days of strike. Before they knew what was happening, Deji was already swimming in the lake of boredom at home due to the strike action embarked on by the academic staff of the university. Despite the prolonged strike action, IBK was getting ready to gain admission into OAU, just like Deji, and her enthusiasm was almost palpable. Itunu grew uncomfortable about the idea because she was almost sure that the silent competition between her and IBK. Not that she could do anything about it, but the only way to keep her shoulders high would be to graduate with a First Class as planned; she told herself that it was achievable. What could beat that kind of achievement?
At long last, Itunu graduated with a 2;1 (Second Class Upper), a few points short of the intended First Class, but she was thrilled because she graduated as one of the top three in her department. As at this time, Deji had graduated and concluded the compulsory one-year National Youth Service in Abuja but refused to return home with the excuse that he was hustling to start a new life. “With what I learned at school, I have greater opportunity to hustle on my own in Abuja,” says Deji anytime his mum pleaded with him to return home. On the other hand, IBK was studying Biochemistry, something similar to what Deji had studied at OAU.
After staying at home for a few months, it was time for Itunu to commence her one-year National Youth Service and she was posted to Abia State. Initially, she wasn’t excited about going that far, especially because of her plan to get engaged during her youth service, and to a Yoruba Baptist man, preferably one from her state of origin. Going to faraway Abia State seemed to complicate things because for her, these qualities were non-negotiable; other points were secondary. Her firm belief was that her home church taught sound doctrines for a Christian. Besides, she had taken a good look at her parents who were staunch Baptists and realized that she never heard them fight. One could hear them argue occasionally but never a fight, no one had come to settle scores for her parents. She had a strong feeling however, that her mother was the glue that held the family together, even the extended family too. Her mother’s foundation was the basis for her parents’ good marriage. She had a deep desire to turn out just like her mother - a strong Christian woman with a good home.
Contrary to her assumptions, Itunu enjoyed the three weeks at the Orientation Camp where she even met a few familiar faces from school.
Remove head dressing! She reminisced with a smile on her face.
Her mind was fixed. This is the time and season that she has been praying and waiting for. The expectation of the righteous shall not be cut short. She wrote it plainly in her heart and her diary, she became more friendly and approachable, and she even joined the Nigeria Christian Corpers’ Fellowship (NCCF) during the first week of orientation because she had heard of the fellowship from older colleagues whom she was still in contact with. NCCF was an inter-denominational body of Christian youth members. Itunu saw another level of love and friendship different from the campus fellowship she attended at the University. By the time orientation was over, older members took her to the ‘family house’ in Umuahia, the state capital. For someone that knew how to draw boundaries, the rules in the family house were something else; besides the daily routine, everything else was difficult. She purposed in her heart to quickly search for another place to live. However, before she could find a suitable place, Itunu was given a major responsibility in the fellowship and her instant response to holding the post was to decline. But as soon as she declined the offer, she felt led in her spirit to accept it. There was a major clause to accepting the offer though. She was not allowed to get engaged until the one-year tenure was over. “Lord, I want to believe that this is part of the plan to settle me on time, I do your work and you do mine.”
The one-year youth service in Abia State passed quickly and by the end of it, Itunu had learned some Igbo phrases, gained more friends, grown more appreciative of life generally as she participated in the NCCF evangelism tagged “Rural Rugged.” She would miss the NCCF family and the song that had become a sort of anthem at the family house:
[i]I love this family of God
So closely knitted into one
They have taken me into their arms
And I’m so glad to be
A part of this great family!
[/i]She desperately wanted to stay back as she would miss so many things about life in Abia State. Besides, she had made some friends who could help her in securing a job, but the way her parents were screaming when she hinted at staying back, one would think that Itunu had signed up to join the army. Well, it felt good to be home at last. Home Sweet Home! After resting at home for a few days, it was time to job hunt - and husband hunt too. “Lord God, I am done, it’s your turn.”
Her mum suddenly came home and told her of an opportunity to teach Accounting to Secondary School students in a private coaching centre owned by a family friend. It was better than sitting at home anyway, so she accepted the offer at once.