eviana3:


I'm not sure if that is a cultural thing there in Nigeria to comfort the grieving ones for "40" days or not?
However, people generally do the best they can to comfort grieving people. No one really knows what to say. It can be uncomfortable all the way around.
Here in the U.S., some people do not go to funerals because they cannot handle being at them.
Truth is, there is nothing that anyone can do to truly give the grieving person what he/she would actually want: the deceased loved one alive again.
However, all that you stated above do help in one way or another.
There really is no time limit on checking on people going through the mourning stages.
There are some stages that a person should go through in order to process his/her emotions in a healthy way: Shock, anger, depression and final aceptance/healing.
It could even be more intense if the manner in which the loved one(s) died was gruesome or abnormal.

I think occasionally checking on the person is a step. He/she will eventually and hopefully return to living life daily. Perhaps suggesting a Christian counselor (if the person is Christian) who can help the person process the loss, may be an option.
Time slowly heals wounds...but the loss is felt forever

Hmmmmmm, besides checking in on them, what else can one do? how does one check up?

Kobojunkie:
are you asking in terms of what is expected of us as Followers of Jesus Christ or simply as members of any given society?

It would be interesting hearing both sides, to compare and contrast should there be a difference abi?

What I have seen happen over and over again is that when a loved one dies, the initial reaction of religious folks is to bombard them with prayers, phone calls and some even generously contribute financially. I have observed most of this support ends around about 40 days and then we all return to our daily lives.

The questions on my mind are

do we think life returns to normal for the person/ families of those who have lost their loved one after 40days?
what are some things we can do to support them?
How long do you think they need support?

abeg no vex for the jam queshuns, d tin dey hot hot for mt bodi

Hi guys,

2020 got me thinking, home and abroad a lot of people have died, I mean 2020 wasn't what we expected, hopes have been dashed, Covid-19 dramatically increased the number of deaths, families have been torn apart by grief. The Nigerian government has also contributed to the untimely death of many promising lives.

I have a lot of questions which I hope we can together answer around what happens to the ones left behind, how do we help one another. so if it's okay with you, let's begin this conversation.

Why do we find it hard to properly help those who have been left behind? or should the question be what type of help do we think the ones left behind need?

Apart from the outpour of debate around the circumstances around their death, prayers, what else could we do to help each individual to journey through grief, loss, and bereavement?

Take, for example, the loved ones of those killed in the #endsars protest.
to some, they were brothers, sisters. friends, husband, wife, cousin, classmate, schoolmate, etc.........

Apologies for the long intro, I am only just passionate about this topic