UNAPOLOGETIC - Joseph O.I.
In a very narrow sense, the essence of apologies is to ease tension, and possible fix the problem. But most often a times, the reverse is achieved. When a person apologizes, sometimes the issue becomes more complicated. For instance, a person apologizing before knowing what has been done wrong. That kind of quick apology complicates things because the person is likely to repeat the same act that lead to the apology.

With the fore-going assertion, one can say that the backbone of a true apology is a mutual understanding of the situation that lead to that problem. When an issue arises and both parties understands it, knowing fully well where each of them crossed the line, only then can an issue be resolved through an apology.

A quicker and more efficient way of resolving issues other than apologies is to overlook the issue even before an apology. Therefore, instead of waiting for an apology you have already done what I like to describe as "Self-healing" thus rendering the inevitable apology void.
Most often a times, the apology is still needed by the person who has carried out self-healing, not for anything, but to know that the offender is aware of his transgressions. But the reason for forging is not based on the apology but because internal forgiving has already been done.
In other to be truely happy, we need to be satisfied with ourselves, and to do that we should be quick to apology, frugal with compliments, be thankful for everything and make forgiving a "Second Nature"

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