This Question is for "Brothers" in the room.

I prefer dating older girls and ladies to girls my age or younger for a number of reasons, which include stability, ability for some to "hold their own" and lots more.

What do say? Which do you prefer?

Why not?

Because she's older! :-o

What the original poster means:
'Would you pursue a romantic relationship with an older girl?"

why not? there is nothing wrong in that. what is needed is understanding.

well i guess i would, cos age ain't nothing but a number. the ultimate will always be if the lady is what you want in a girlfriend. but anyway with experiences i've had recently i'll really prefer dating someone who i'm older than with about 2-4 years.

In our culture, it is very important to respect our superiors:
- A younger person is expected to respect older people as superiors.
- A wife is expected to respect her husband as a superior.

Now when your wife is older than you which rule do you follow? Who is to be respected as the superior?

In relationship, it does not matter if the lady or woman is older as long as both have respect for each other. and also what is needed mostly is love among the older and the younger one.

Hmmm ... I am surprised that people are so open-minded about this! Pleasantly surprised!

I can date an older girl but will never marry a girl that's older than me.

I can date an older girl but will never marry a girl that's older than me.

What is the purpose of such dating (Here we go again!)

I can date an older girl but will never marry a girl that's older than me.

What is the purpose of such dating (Here we go again!)

I'm quite aware of all the talks about this but I'll answer your question the best way I can make you understand.

The purpose of such dating is just to have fun!!

A date is suppose to be a form of social appointment with an opposite sex.
This could involve going out to some cool joints at first to have fun and this fun could graduate into having sex regularly after some time. Your date or the person whom you're dating is often regarded as your girlfriend or boyfriend.

[I]Pls note that this contract can be terminated at anytime[/I]

COURTSHIP
This involves seeking the affections of a woman (usually with the hope of marriage). The person you're courting is usually regarded as your Lover.
[I]Pls note that there's the hope of a marriage included here[/I]

ENGAGEMENT
This is a mutual promise made by two people to marry. The person you're engaged to is regarded as your Fiance
[I]Pls note that this only involves a promise and there's nothing else attached.[/I]

MARRIAGE
The state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a legal, consensual, and contractual relationship recognized and sanctioned by and dissolvable only by law. The person you're married to is regarded as your Wife/Husband.

MY CONCLUSION
If I'm dating someone, it doesn't necessarily mean that it must lead to the next stage which is supposed to be COURTSHIP.
If I'm courting someone, that means I'm interested in marrying her, this should probably lead to engagement if you're truly sincere.
If I'm engaged to someone then that means I'm definitely going to marry the person.

mamba: If I'm dating someone, it doesn't necessarily mean that it must lead to the next stage which is supposed to be courtship.

Mamba, I love your detailed, informative posts. I think I like your model better, but only if you remove the clause "this fun could graduate into having sex regularly after some time." I mean, why does taking someone to joints have to graduate into sex? I take my male friends out to eat and I don't expect it to graduate to sex, so why should the act of taking my female friends out to eat graduate into sex?

If dating is just a "social appointment" which does not imply the possiblity of courtship/engagement/marriage, then there is nothing wrong in dating multiple people at the same time, right? Then the phrase 'my girlfriend' should be changed to just "friend". I mean, I have a lot of older female [I]friends[/I] and I will happily take them out to joints just to eat and have fun [I]talking[/I] ... If hanging out and talking is what dating is about, yes I will date them!

I don't see why "an appointment" has to graduate into sex!

Well, I'm not trying to say that all appointments must end with sex, it all depends on the chick.
If she now likes me after one or two dates and wants sex then so be it.

All I'm just trying to say is that if you're dating a girl regularly, the greater the chances of having sex eventually, My guy, body no be wood o!

My point still remains,
whether a girl is older or not, I'll still date her, (which of course could lead to sex or not) but will never marry her.

I'll state my reasons soon.....

Mr. Administrator, I really do like your stance on this. But I should tell u dating is a big game, it has it own set of rules. but the reality is if a guy is taking a gal out what does he want?

I would say 90% of guys have ulterior motives believe me! It may be stated or not but the underlying motive is there.And from what I've seen a lot of gals seem to know this....
I do really admire you...u seem a bit like a puritan, having fun for some does not end in chattin and laughing.

And of course anwering the original question will I date an older girl....sure and why not?, if she's fun to be with and does not remin me of my aunts, mom or grand mom(sorry I don't have an older sister) .But to be candid its hard for me...I may get to think sometimes'hey this could be my mama' and that kills the fun!

So I guess when I won't date an older girl is when she 's not fun to be with, she's stuck up, behaves like grand ma or looks like grand ma

My older female friends are generally intelligent and ambitious people. You can learn a lot by hanging out with intelligent and ambitious people. Going out to eat can be a very enjoyable way to relax, whether you are married or single, seventy years old or just eighteen! Watching movies with friends makes it much more enjoyable.

Brothers,

I cannot deny being amused at how a seeming simple question can lead to a long argument and counter-argument.

I Love most the open minded-ness(allow me) of every contribution.

Now we can all rationnalize why we have not been able to inbibe "fully" the western culture.The TRUTH is ..."we are simply african to the core" People like Seun would have been given a chieftaincy title by now if it had been a century ago.

Keep keeping it real brothers

seun:

In our culture, it is very important to respect our superiors:
- A younger person is expected to respect older people as superiors.
- A wife is expected to respect her husband as a superior.

Now when your wife is older than you which rule do you follow? Who is to be respected as the superior?

My man things have moved on you know, looking back i think all but one of my ex girl friends have been older than i am. The relationship with the younger girl was the shortest. I'm not saying you should go and date a suga mummy but a one or two year gap is all good.

If the girl is good, she's going to respect you regardless of your age... Act like a man and you'll get treated like one...

Just Blaze, most people here wouldn't marry an older girl, which is what I was talking about in the post you quoted. Did you marry your ex-girlfriends?

If dating means going out to eat or watch a movie, I will date older girls.
If dating means sleeping together I will definitely not date older girls (or anybody else )
If dating means going on 'dates' with intention of eventual marriage, my answer is "no".

I think most people are confused about the various words used in love and dating.

Just to clarify things dating to me means the girl is currently my girl friend or trying to get her to be my girl friend.

Would i date an older girl = YES
Would i sleep with one = Been there done that!
Would i marry an older lady = The answer I'm afraid is YES.

Marriage is a union of two people who love each other not the game of who is more superior... The man wears the trousers and thats IT as far as I'm concerned...

Blaze, have you forgotten that chicks also wear trousers?

BTW, why do you wanna marry an older woman in this age where fine young chicks are surplus?

Menn, I no understand o! IMO, dating is the furthest I can go with an older woman....

Hey Mamba,

Girls certainly wear trousers this days but not the kind one required in a relationship i hope. I'm not going all out to find a girl thats older than me, if i meet someone younger than me that anwsers all my prayers, thats great, if its a girl that is a year or so older than me then so be it... Its all about the happiness of both parties at the end of the day.

You can marry a younger girl that will whupp your ass

I dont discriminate o!

Its all about the happiness of both parties at the end of the day.

The age thing is very serious among us, the yorubas in particular. If your sister is just one year older than you she can send you on errands and you have to 'obey'. If you don't 'obey' your parents will accuse you of being stubborn, insubordinate. Now you can imagine that same lady being your wife. There will definitely be a power struggle!

It is difficult to be happy when your wife and you are struggling for power!

I think the best word for Seun will defintelively be "Orthodox". Things are changing and changine they are...Fast.

Age being a "seriuos among us, the yoruba in particular' is not a general statement, I beg to disagree.

and Seun, people are not so particular about petty things like disagreeing with your sisters on flimsy things, you'll be surprised at how close they'll be self, all depending on how you present your family to the girl.

Same thing could happen too even if you as the hubby is 10 years older than your wife.

The age thing is very serious among us, the yorubas in particular. If your sister is just one year older than you she can send you on errands and you have to 'obey'. If you don't 'obey' your parents will accuse you of being stubborn, insubordinate. Now you can imagine that same lady being your wife. There will definitely be a power struggle!

Not really. The culture of younger people obeying elders is not so rigidly interpreted, else you would have a situation where a Yoruba employer couldn't employ someone older than him.

Anyhow, I think it's all down to mutual consent - what both the parties in the relationship agree on. If the wife agrees to respect and defer to the husband (even if she is older) and the husband is happy with this, then there's no problem.

The problem only arises when the wife expects that the husband should obey her because she is older... but then, he should have spotted this early on during the courtship stage and backed out then if he wasn't comfortable with that.

Ka: he should have spotted this early on during the courtship stage and backed out then if he wasn't comfortable with that.

If the lady is very eager to settle down she will hide such tendencies until the ring is on their finger. Courting couples typically think they know so much about their partners, only to be surprised after the ceremony. Wedding night should be called 'revelation night!.

yes i would.

blaze i particularly feel you,
i would definately have everything to do with an older lady. They could be really caring. And they do great sex i tell you. So if you guys are compatible why not.
Its more interesting if she's white or maybe colored

Quicksilver you be bad azz guy o!
Anyway sha I just want to ask you this question, can you marry a girl that's 5 years older? I know most of us agree with dating an older girl but can we marry 'em?

mamba:

Quicksilver [I]you be bad azz guy o![/I]
Anyway [I]sha[/I] I just want to ask you this question, can you marry a girl that's 5 years older? I know most of us agree with dating an older girl but can we marry 'em?

I think 5 years is pushing it a bit...

I would date up to 2 years older but when it comes to marriage i think a year is my cut off point

It's hard guys ooooo.

My first girlfriend was two years older than me. It was all rosy and sweet while it lasted. I was looking at marriage, unfortunately it didnt work out. Looking back, I will say, if I am not intending to marry an older girl, I am orthodox like Osewa. I wont date or have a relationship with a girl if there isn't the slightest possibility of us marrying.

The issue of just enjoying the sex doesnt arise .

On the otherhand, I have been there so I can tell you that a dude will always be respected by any chic if he has vision, potential, knows his onus and is a man. I have family friends where the wife is older than the husband and they are living it cool. Meanwhile, there are other marriages with the older husband which have crashed. Respect is earned in a way. It doesn't all come with age or gender.

But for me, give me the younger untouched babes. So dudes, live straight. Dreams do come true. That sweet sixteen can be yours Seun!

My fellow Nigerian men,

I am sorry to inform you that, even though many of us (excepting me) would [date or even marry an older girl, most Nigerian girls are not ready to marry or even date guys that are younger than them! (at least, the girls on this forum).

Sorry boys, but it takes two to tango!

seun:

My fellow Nigerian men,

I am sorry to inform you that, even though many of us (excepting me) would [date or even marry an older girl, [I]most[/I] Nigerian girls are not ready to marry or even date guys that are younger than them! (at least, the girls on this forum).

Sorry boys, but it takes two to tango!

That one na story, in this age where men are scarce and so much competition among ladies.
Fine young Bobos are reigning nowadays o! They are much sought after by big time society ladies.