THE TRUTH WITHIN
, by nikerous jnr,

Are you living a truthful life? What does living a truthful life mean anyway? To me, living a truthful life means living an authentic life. It is a life where you are honest with yourself and the others in your life. It is life that follows the old saying of "The Truth Will Set You Free". Nikerous Aniema jnr. Inspring Joy Today does an excellent job of explaining that old saying.

Living a truthful life is not for the faint of heart. It is difficult, painful, confusing, and joyous all at the same. It requires effort, and internal introspection. It requires a person to be accountable for their own life, without any excuses.

I am attempting to live a truthful life. It is not something I have always attempted to do. In fact the majority of my life has been spent living an untruthful life. I have spent a lot of years lying to myself, lying to others, and just flat out living a lie. The different parts of me were compartmentalized. Part of me shown to this person, another part shown to me, while still yet another part for that group over there. No one, not even me, had access to the whole of me.

In this post, Nikerous jnr., suggests that if the truth will set us free, then if we are not living a truthful life we are living in a prison. I agree with her. It is a prison of our own making, but never-the-less it is still a prison. My prison took the form of depression, a depression that endured most of my life, becoming more and more severe as I got older. Included in my prison were the Anxiety Guards, and the Panic Attack Warden. If I ever tried to step out of my depression prison cell the Anxiety Guards and the Panic Attack Warden would set off such fears in me that I always scurried back to my "safe" cell.

After many, many years in my self made prison, I grew tired, and hopeless. I chose a way of escaping that gave me an easy way out, one where I did not have to encounter the Anxiety Guards and the Panic Attack Warden. Even that escape did not work. I found myself waking up in a hospital, tethered to a bed and still in my prison.

I was told I had no choice but to begin therapy. I did. I really did not want to, but I did. The smartest move I made in my life was promising myself and others that I would always be truthful in my therapy sessions and with my psychiatrist and actually following through with that promise. So began my journey of attempting to live a truthful life. I could only manage it during those once a week, hour long sessions, but at least it was a beginning.

As time has gone by, and I have gained confidence, began to care about myself, and learned to look at and tell the truth about myself, I have gotten more into the habit of living a truthful life. It is still not easy, I do it more out of habit than actually wanting to do it, but I am attempting, every day, to live a truthful life.

I have experienced a few rewards as a result of my attempting to live a truthful life. My relationships with my family has improved. To think, all these years they have been waiting to hear what was on my mind and for me to set boundaries with them. My depression and anxiety has lessened a great deal. The best reward has been passing the lesson of living a truthful life on to my daughter and her "getting it".

Anna recently had a accident and broke something of hers that had significant monetary value. She made the decision to not say anything to either me or her father about it. She had decided that since it was an expensive item that we would be mad if she told us. This morning I asked her about that item because I had noticed she had not been using it. She looked like a deer caught in headlights and then she "fessed up about the item being broken. I was mad, but I was able to use that as an opportunity to explain to her that there is nothing wrong with being mad, it is a real emotion. It is a truthful emotion. I was also able to use this incident to talk to her about living a truthful life. An hour or so after we had this conversation, she said that she "felt better" because she was no longer worried about being "found out". She explained the feeling by saying it "felt like an annoying bug that would not go away".

My hope is that by teaching her to live a truthful life now, she will not find herself locked up in a prison of her own making in the future. There is nothing more beautiful then someone who can live a truthful life from a young age and never has to experience the pain from being in prison for most of their life.

I have ventured more and more outside my depression prison, walking past the Anxiety Guards and Panic Attack Warden. In some ways I am still bound by that prison, but the more attempts I make at living a truthful life, the less hold depression, anxiety and panic attacks have on me. I am looking forward to the day when that prison has absolutely no hold on me.

Are you living a truthful life? Are you living in a prison of your own making? Are you honest with yourself about yourself? Are you honest with others about your thoughts and feelings? Are you honest without excuses? example, I could be happy but,

I am looking forward to seeing how everyone answers those questions.

It is good to be/become a gentleman.

How to Be a Gentleman
, by nikerous jnr,

Steps
1.
Good hygiene is a must. Don"t just use a bar of soap, but do scrub yourself. Make sure ears have no wax in them and that privates and facial hair are clean and at least trimmed nicely. When applying deodorant or cologne, don"t use a lot. Also, make sure you don"t use too much hair gel (it"s sticky).

2
Pay attention to how you look. Wear clothes that fit your body well, eliminate flashy clothing and avoid fashion "faux pas" (i.e. baseball hats cocked slightly to the side). A simpler wardrobe will keep the emphasis on you, not your clothes, which will change your outlook. Get regular haircuts.

3
A true gentleman is polite to everyone, in action and words. Always be aware of how you can help people. Wait an extra few seconds to hold the door for the person behind you. Offer to help an old or pregnant person get their grocery bags to the car. You don"t have to be paranoid or risk killing yourself (i.e if you"ve got a precarious grip on something heavy, don"t open the door for someone) but respect is paramount. Even if someone is being stupid, be polite and respectful.

4
Be prepared to ask questions or make statements of courtesy, like "may I help you?", or "let me get that for you", or "I"ll take care of that".

5
Don"t swear. Ever. Don"t speak of vulgar matter. If it"s too difficult to stop cursing all-together, tone it down a lot.

6
Don"t stare at and ogle women or say anything degrading to or about them.

7
In public, don"t: fart, belch, speak too loudly, be overly demanding/offensive, or drink heavily. A gentleman is always in control of himself, body and mind.

8
Give girls a little extra respect. Don"t be obsequious, but neofeminism has kind of gotten rid of some basic politeness that they"ll appreciate, such as opening car/building doors, etc. Don"t put every girl on a pedestal (we"re all human), but they"ll really appreciate it if you do them favors, like giving up your seat on the bus even though they"re not carrying anything heavy.

9
Don"t talk about yourself much. On the other hand, girls like to know a little bit about you so they can understand what you are talking about sometimes. In addition to making you a much more desirable conversationalist, it will make you seem more mysterious to not share too much, which many women find attractive. Get a basic idea of what"s going on in music, sports, and politics.

10
Learn to either avoid politics and religion until you know someone better, and learn how to be neutral if someone else brings it up. A simple shrug will do wonders. A gentleman doesn"t make other people uncomfortable.

11
Pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening for girls: they"re automatically targets at night or in bad neighborhoods. Walk her to her door (or car) if at all possible. It doesn"t matter how strong she actually is, if you"re a girl people will go at you first, whereas by virtue of being male you"re safer. If your girl has to park far away from her dorm or home, always offer to drive her to and from your destination. She will appreciate how caring you are about her safety.

12
Remember to keep doing nice things for your girlfriend when you"re around her. If she"s carrying something, pick it up when she puts it down and always kindly let her know by saying "oh, let me get that for you", whatever the object is. Remember, being selfish is not attractive. If you are watching television with your girl and you know she likes a particular show or sporting event, leave it there. She will appreciate that little bit of selflessness more than you know.

13
Show up with a card or a flower and not just for holidays. Expensive and showy doesn"t matter, it"s the effort. In fact, a rose, a little love note left on her pillow, or a heartfelt kiss will keep any girl happy for days.

14
If in love, be sure to tell her often that you love her and make it sound meaningful. Be open about yourself to her and share with one another, making sure you laugh and keep things upbeat. Don"t be a stiff bore.

15
There are some things you shouldn"t talk to girls about. These include how hot other girls are, or anything at all of that nature. If she"s not into sports or video games, you can say a few things but then move on to something she"s into. Girls tend to be more interested in books and music than in sports and video games, though there are plenty of exceptions to every rule. It"s fine to talk about that stuff with your guy friends, but a gentleman doesn"t do that.

16
Stand up for your girl. Don"t go around punching everyone who looks at her sideways, but if anyone"s giving her looks or unwanted advances, intervene. Put your arm around her shoulder and move yourselves away, or go to her and speak up for her. The physical contact reassures her and lets the aggressor know that he"s got to deal with both of you.

17
Always have a straight posture (nobody likes a sloucher).

18
Do not talk down to women ever. It"s ok to tease but being cruel is not the way to go. Teasing does not mean calling them vulgar words, however. No matter how joking your tone is, it hurts a woman when a so-called "gentleman" calls them a dirty word.

19
Avoid fighting, as it isn"t the best way to solve problems, however a real gentleman never backs off when he"s challenged, always standing up for himself and his values. Remember to prioritize and not sacrifice your values for someone who is clearly just picking a fight with whomever will join in. If someone is simply embarrassing himself by offending you, don"t sink to his level, but walk away.

20
If you do decide to fight, keep the straight posture, even if your rival is taller than you. Be reasonable, never use weapons, such as guns, knives and the like, as this kind of "chivalry" is from the old days and might end up seriously damaging you. And never, never fight in/against a group, for a gentleman only duels, do not try to be Chuck Norris. If your opponent is down, that means you made your point and it"s time to stop fighting. Offer him a hand to get up, always expecting a bad reaction, as he might not have the same values as you have.

21
When walking on the sidewalk or on the side of the road, gentlemen should walk on the outside(closer to the road), whereas the lady should be on the inside, protected from oncoming traffic.

Sometimes I feel Im gonna break down and cry (so lonely)
Nowhere to go nothing to do with my time
I get lonely so lonely living on my own

Sometimes I feel Im always walking too fast
And everything is coming down on me down on me
I go crazy oh so crazy living on my own

I don't have no time for no monkey business
I get so lonely lonely lonely lonely yeah
Got to be some good times ahead

Sometimes I feel nobody gives me no warning
Find my head is always up in the clouds in a dreamworld
Its not easy living on my own

I don't have no time for no monkey business
I get so lonely lonely lonely lonely  yeah
Got to be some good times ahead

I don't have no time for no monkey business
I get so lonely lonely lonely lonely yeah
Got to be some good times ahead
I believe in myself,