thorpido:
Na wa for your.Just because you were getting attention and intimacy free from a lady,you kept leading her on.I do not like people who toy with other people's emotions.You could have made it known to her it was just friends with benefits.

You might end up with a loveless marriage if you proceed with the wedding(she will get fatter after wedding).
A broken engagement is better than a broken wedding.

Attention Yes
Intimacy No
I have edited my post to include this detail

I feel really confused how I got to this point.
My problem is my inability to say no.
We have been friends but I never got the chance to quite check her out. something happened that changed the whole situation. I had accident while on my way to my base early this year and it happened that she was the only female friend that I informed because we were talking, and it was then that the closeness began and she started coming around often.
The experience was devastating and I was hospitalized for quite some time. This period, I couldn't even contemplate relationship but she stood close.
I became better, the scars improved and I resumed work after 5 months
She then kept asking when are we getting married and I was emotionally down to say I am not interested in marriage. But because I also wish to get married as I am of age and there is nothing wrong with her just that she doesn't fit my singular spec physically, which is that she is not slim, I agreed.
She is not whom I cannot marry but she is not the specific of what I want. To be frank she is not bad because she is definitely someone else's spec.
I don't want to hurt her or break her heart and I have been lackadaisical with all the plans and at this rate the wedding might be a flop even though the date has already been set for Jan 1 2022 and IV has already been printed.
Let me be specific, my desire romantically is a skinny girl while she is a bit plumpy and all my effort at telling her to loose weight has not worked, in fact she keeps increasing gradually.
she is not totally opposite of what I want if not I would've easily backed out without ado. she is just border line. That is where the problem is.
Let me reiterate that she is not ugly but I just know that she is not my spec. But is this enough reason to call off an engagement. will I be happy in the marriage. I'm just weak. Am I just paranoid or will the marriage succeed and last till death do us part even with this kind of issue in my heart. I have been struggling since the marriage plans began.
I almost called it off two weeks ago when not much people have been made aware but I considered what the implications will be majorly for her. When I told her my mind, she was stressed for 2 days and I had to tell her we can continue with plans.
Now that plans are advanced and folks all over are aware, what will the implications of cancelling the wedding be?
Further details; I never asked her to be my wife, just discussions about marriage came up as it is obvious I'm searching as a serious minded young man, no formal proposal or formal meeting of parents, she is from a good nuclear family, she is a virgin as she said, (I just need to say this to avoid speculation in this regard), we engaged in nothing more than smooching
please does anyone have experience with calling off a wedding that is already at advanced stage? How can I put it to her
Those in this kind of marriage please advise me, is it possible that I can be happy.
Please help me with advises. questions are welcome