Q: Why the orange stop in the middle of the road?
A:It ran out of juice
Q: Why are secrets not safe on a farm?
A: potatoes have eyes, corn have ears and beans talk

JAMES BOND 007 THESPIANS- ADEWOYIN OLAWUNMI.M
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The James Bond series focuses on a fictional British Secret Service agent created in 1953 by British journalist, novelist and writer, Ian Fleming who featured him in twelve novels and two short-story collections. Below is a list of the notable thespians that have over the years and presently played the 007 role.

SEANCONNERY: The original James Bond and arguably the best was Scottish actor, Sean Connery, who accepted a license to kill from 1962 to 1971, plus a final “unofficial” Bond film in 1983. His Bond movies included Dr. No (1962), FromRussiawithLove (1963), Goldfinger (1964), Thunderball (1965), YouOnlyLiveTwice (1967), DiamondsareForever (1971) and the 1983 version NeversayneverAgain.

GEORGELAZENBY: Australian actor George Lazenby was the second James Bond and starred in only one film, OnHerMajesty’sSecretService in 1969. In that movie, Bond got married, only to become a widower by the end of the flick. Lazenby couldn’t live up to the larger-than-life Connery Bond and backed out of a seven-year contract to do more Bond films. Producer Albert.R.Broccoli asked Connery to return to the role and paid him $1.25 million plus 12.5 per cent of the film’s profits. Connery was back.

ROGERMOORE: Sean Connery passed the torch to English actor Roger Moore, who donned the Walther PPK in his first Bond film, LiveandLetDie in 1973. Roger Moore became the quintessential James Bond for a new generation, playing 007 for 12 years. His films consisted of, TheManwiththeGoldenGun (1974), TheSpywholovedme (1977), Moonraker (1979), Foryoureyesonly (1981), Octopussy (1983) and AViewtoakill (1985). Regrettably, according to critics, Moore overstayed his welcome playing the role into his 50s.

TIMOTHYDALTON: British actor Timothy Daltonreplaced an aging Roger Moore in the release of 1987’s TheLivingDaylights. Dalton’s James Bond was originally supposed to be played by Pierce Brosnan, but NBC renewed his contract for a fifth season of Rennington Steele and Brosnan was out, at least for a while. Dalton signaled a return to a more rough and tough Bond style. However, public reaction to Dalton as Bond was somewhat mixed. Dalton’s only other Bond film was LicensetoKill (1989) but left the role prior to his third film, which was scheduled to be shot then released in 1991.

PIERCEBROSNAN: Irish actor Pierce Brosnan got a second chance at Bond-dom in 1995 when he starred as Agent 007 in GoldenEye. Brosnan was a hit, and many argued that he was the best Bond since Connery. Brosnan played Bond three more times: Tomorrowneverdies (1997), TheWorldisNotEnough (1999) and DieAnotherDay (2002). Brosnan was reportedly fired from therole prior to his fifth film as Bond.

DANIELCRAIG: This brings us to the sixth and most current Bond, English actor, Daniel Craig. On October 14th 2005, Craig was named the new Agent 007. He starred as Bond in 2006’s CasinoRoyale and returned in 2008’s QuantumofSolace. Craig is the first blond actor to play Bond and the second Englishman (behind Moore) to star in the role.
42BONDGIRLS, THENANDNOW
Honey Ryder, Dr. No (1962) played by Ursula Andress
Sylvia Trench, Dr. No (1962) and FromRussiawithLove (1963) played Eunice Gayson
Tatiana Romanova, FromRussiawithLove (1963) played by Daniela Bianchi
Jill Masterson, GoldFinger (1964) played by Shirley Eaton
Pussy Galore, GoldFinger (1964) played by Honor Blackman
Domino Derval, Thunderball (1965) played by Claudine Auger
Aki, YouOnlyLiveTwice (1967) played by Akiko Wakabayashi
Teresa Bond, OnHerMajesty’sSecretService (1969) played by Diana Rigg
Plenty ‘O Toole, DiamondsareForever (1971) played by Lana Wood
Tiffany Case, DiamondsareForever (1971) played by Jill St. John
Solitaire, LiveandLetDie (1973) played Jane Seymour
Rosie Carver, LiveandLetDie (1973) played by Gloria Hendry
Andrea Anders, TheManwiththeGoldenGun (1974) played by Maud Adams
Saida, the Lebanese belly dancer and temptress, TheManwiththeGoldenGun (1974) played by Carmen du Sautoy
Mary Goodnight, TheManwiththeGoldenGun (1974) played by Britt Ekland
Anya Amasova, TheSpywholovedme (1977) played Barbara Bach
Naomi, The Spy who loved me (1977) played by Caroline Munro
Holly Goodhead, Moonraker (1979) played by Lois Chiles
Corinne Dufour, Moonraker (1979) played by Corinne Clery
BibiDahl, ForYourEyesOnly (1981) played by Lynn-Holly Johnson
Melina Havelock, ForYourEyesOnly (1981) played by Carol Bouquet
Countess Lisl von Schlaf, ForYourEyesOnly (1981) played by Cassandra Harris
Octopussy, Octopussy (1983) played by Maud Adams (who actually appeared in different roles in three different Bond films)
Magda, Octopussy (1983) played Kristina Wayborn
MayDay, AViewtoaKill (1985) played Grace Jones (who is still as fierce as anything)
Paula Ivanova, A View to a Kill (1985) played by Fiona Fullerton
Stacey Sutton, AViewtoaKill (1985) played by Tanya Roberts
Kara Milovy, TheLivingDaylights (1987) played by Maryam D’Abo
Pam Bouvier, LicensetoKill (1989) played by Carey Lowell
XenaOnatopp, GoldenEye (1995) played by Famke Janssen
Natalya Simonova, GoldenEye (1995) played by IzabellaScorupco
Paris Carver, TomorrowNeverDies (1997) played by Teri Hatcher
Wai Lin, TomorrowNeverDies (1997) played Michelle Yeoh
Dr. Molly Warmflash, TheWorldIsNotEnough (1999) played by Serena Scott Thomas
Elektra King, TheWorldIsNotEnough (1999) played by Sophie Marceau
Dr. Christmas Jones, TheWorldIsNotEnough (1999) played Denise Richards
Jinx Johnson, DieAnotherDay (2002) played by Halle Berry
Miranda Frost, DieAnotherDay (2002) played by Rosamund Pike
Solange Demetrious, CasinoRoyale (2006) played by CaterinaMurino
Vesper Lynd, CasinoRoyale (2006) played Eva Green
Camille Montes, QuantumofSolace (2008) played by Olga Kurylenko
Strawberry Fields, QuantumofSolace (2008) played by Gemma Aterton
A RIDE WITH JAMES BOND 007 FILMS
British secret service agent, James Bond 007 is on the news again having received the GoldFinger award for rescuing Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II and other passengers on the Airport 80 MoonRaker from a deadly thunderball almost resulting in an unfortunate skyfall; an incident that was more than enough to scare theliving daylights out of anyone. Security agentsonHerMajesty’ssecretservice including themanwiththegoldengun who came all the way fromRussiawithlovehad a hectic day at the CasinoRoyale trying to control the crowd that had converged to pay homage to this man of honour who had brought a quantumofsolace to the entire British Colony. In what seemed to be aviewtoakill, 007 sights the mysterious Octopussy, a shrewd and wealthy Albanian countess who was thought by the Russian government to have been sentenced to dieanotherday for conspiring with Kamal Khan, another licensetokill agent against the Russian Specter group to steal the goldeneye weapon meant to assessRussian secrets. In the midst of everything, 007 is accosted by one of the passengers of the ill-fated flight
PRESSMAN: Good evening Mr. Bond
JAMESBOND: Good evening, you must be related toDr. No I suppose?
PRESSMAN: I am sorry to disappoint you, sir. I ‘m always asked that question but my origins are from modest. My father is a retired civil servant somewhere in the interior.
JAMESBOND: Indeed! Apart from the fact that you bear a striking resemblance of him, he happens to be thespywholovedme especially on every task I am being sent anywhere in the world.
PRESSMAN: Without wasting much time, I bring warm greetings and regards from the good people of the Diamond Island.
JAMESBOND: Neversayneveragain about an island where the slogan is toliveandletdie
PRESSMAN: I was thought to believe that diamondsareforever for such a place that is rich in mineral resources but why the negative opinion?
JAMESBOND: I agree with you that the island being rich in diamonds but the only issue I have with the citizenry is that they have no sanctity for human lives as if tomorrowneverdies and for any stranger to survive in such a place, it is a matter of youonlylivetwice.
PRESSMAN: To add to what you just said, I also learnt that the way the citizenry are being ruled, it’s as if theworldisnotenough to be wiped out in just one day. I’ve phoned every employee of the British Colony to gain access to their mineral reserves but it seems that it’s a case of foryoureyesonly. It’s nice meeting you, Mr. Bond.
JAMESBOND: The pleasure’s all mine
ABOUT THE WRITER

Born 32 years ago, award winning stage/screen actress, choreographer, storyteller and writer, Adewoyin Olawunmi Moradeyo holds a B.A degree in Dramatic Arts. Her burning passion for writing articles and stories started in her primary and secondary school days. She was also a committed member of her secondary school’s Drama/Cultural and Press Clubs where she had the ample opportunity of representing both clubs at outings; one of which she was awarded the 2nd position in mock news casting. Some of her written but unpublished works include AuntyWummy’sBedtimeStories, AfricanMoonlightStories (Volumes 1-3), TheKing’sHeirandotherstories and SunsetatNoonandotherstories.

HEALTH
ARE YOU EATING HEALTHY?- ADEWOYIN OLAWUNMI.M
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Eating healthy is living wealthy. A wise man said, “Health is Wealth”. Food is ordained of God as the main sustainer of the body. Just as good food stimulates good health, so also a poor diet brings about ill health. God is a perfect Physician who provides you with good food to make you strong and live long (Genesis 1:29). You don’t really need to have large sums of money to balance your diet. What you need is the knowledge of the constituent nutrients and calories in food, and of course a lot of wisdom. There are relevant classes of food such as carbohydrates, protein, fats and oils, vitamins, minerals and trace elements.
Carbohydrates are the principal dietary energy source. They provide an efficient and cheap source of energy. A minimum of 40% of the total calories in the diet should come from carbohydrates. Food sources include bread, cereals, starches like rice, potatoes, yam, etc.
Proteins are made up of amino acids, which are essential or non-essential. They must be sufficient in both quality and quantity, to provide for growth and maintenance of body tissues. The quality of the protein depends on its content of essential amino acids. In the various groupings you have:
High biologic valued proteins- These contain all the essential amino acids, and can be found in eggs and dairy products.
Moderate biologic valued proteins- These contain most of the essential amino acids but not all, and can be found in meat, poultry, fish and potatoes.
Fair biologic valued proteins supply energy- These contain only some of the essential amino acids such as cereals, bread, peanuts, etc.
Vitamins are essential organic dietary constituents necessary for life, health and growth. However, they do not supply energy. Every time you eat sweet potatoes, ugwu and tete (spinach) leaves, milk, liver or butter, you are getting a good supply of vitamin A, which help in enhancing your vision. On the other hand, whenever you eat citrus fruits, tomatoes, lettuce, potatoes and ugwu leaves, you are supplying your body with a good dose of vitamin C, which helps in the formation and maintenance of bones, teeth and cartilage.
Peanuts (groundnuts) and cereals supply you with vitamin E and help to enhance your normal physiological and reproductive functions while vitamin K rich foods like cabbage, spinach and ugwu leavesare necessary for blood clotting.
Are you worried about your cholesterol level? Well, a diet rich in niacin (foods such as cereals, bread, yeast, meat, etc.) helps to lower serum cholesterol levels.
3 LIFE-CHANGING DIETS
The way you eat affects the condition of your health. By making a few changes in your diet, you can bring some diseases and unhealthy conditions under control.
Lower your blood pressure by the way you eat. There is a significant relationship between the amount of salt consumed and our blood pressure. Eating highly salted foods, especially snack foods, makes salt consumption excessively high. It has been estimated that many Americans eat about ten times more salt than is required for good health. The amount recommended is seven-eight teaspoons daily! A low sodium (low-salt) diet is an excellent way to help keep your blood pressure under control. Furthermore, reducing your intake of sugar and white flour foods also help in lowering your blood pressure. The ups and downs in blood glucose will moderate, and exaggerated fluctuations in personality characteristics (ranging from hyperactive to catatonic) will decrease.
People with inadequate intake of potassium often develop hypertension. The problem can be deferred by eating foods rich in potassium such as peanuts, dates, bananas, dried beans and dark green leafy vegetables. Meats are also a good source of potassium. Other measures that are effective in lowering blood pressure are exercising daily, lowering weight to normal and eliminating smoking.
A low fat diet can clear clogged arteries and help heal victims of heart attacks and strokes. Research from many sources concludes that arteriosclerosis can be reversed when the fat calories in the diet are lowered to 10% of the total calorie intake. That would mean giving up all fried foods, butter, milk, cheese, salad dressings, ice cream, hamburger, potato chips, pork, and “extra-crispy” fried chicken (which equals eighteen parts of butter in a half-chicken serving!) If you have never had a heart attack or stroke, you can reduce your chances of having one by reducing your fat intake to 25 to 30% of your total calories. Less fat than this would virtually guarantee your sound health.
Some digestive problems can be corrected with proper eating habits. It takes the stomach four hours to empty an average meal. That means that snacking between meals adds food to an already working stomach and increases the emptying time- sometimes to as much as nine hours. In addition, the fermentation that is created in the stomach can be detrimental to your mind, body and emotions. It is recommended that five hours be allowed to pass between the end of one meal and the next time you eat. Some people nibble and snack all day instead of eating proper meals. This can be very harmful to your body because it causes poor absorption of nutrients and reduces the amount of protein available for the body to use.
The way you eat definitely affects your health-either positively or negatively. If you want to stop feeling sick and tired, your diet will have to change. Our bodies have natural healing mechanisms that respond to proper nutrients. If you put the right foods in, you’ll get a healthy body in return.

HOW TO WELCOME VISITORS- ADEWOYIN OLAWUNMI.M
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Howdoyouwelcomevisitorsathome? Howdoyoucomport yourself in the presence of visitors? Are you nice or nasty; hostile or hospitable?
I once had friend whose youngest daughter frowns each time she comes to open the gate for visitors to their home. With deeply-etched furrows, the daughter’s face always carries a rude impression one can interpret as meaning “I- don’t- know-what-you-are-looking-for-in-this-house anyway!” Coincidentally, every of her friends had received a good dosage of her daughter’s boorish behavior and everyone had unilaterally decided never to visit again, to avoid the crippling dirty look from her daughter. It didn’t take my friend long to realize that she was fast losing her very dear and dependable friends. When we all met at another friend’s wedding bash one Saturday, she bitterly accused of abandoning her. “I’ve been doing all the visiting and none of you has reciprocated,” she remarks. And in unison, we all chided her, “Go and train your daughter on good manners.”
This is one of the fall-outs of a lousy reception of visitors at home. “First impression,” they say, “goes a long way.” The way and manner you welcome a first time visitor to your home often leaves a lasting impression which not only depicts you as a well brought-up child, but also puts a seal on the caliber of parents who raised you. Your manners rub off on your parents and it can stigmatize or earn them more respect. Manners or etiquettes have to do with knowing how to treat others; it is civility and also has to do with social behavior, customs, politeness, decorum, courtesy and respect. A good host must make the home habitable for a guest. What more? There’s nothing as elevating and rewarding as good manners. With good manners, you make more friends, admirers, acquaintances and like your personal public relations, it opens all doors for you whenever you need people’s assistance.
How then, do you exhibit good manners to visitor? There are certain things that we take for granted in our conduct in the presence of visitors and such habits can be really off-putting. Here are rules and guidelines of etiquettes to follow when welcoming or entertaining guests at home.
Do not behave like xenophobic who detests the sight of strangers; some kids are like that. The sight of a visitor simply transforms them into a monster making them very hostile. Always learn to accommodate strangers or at least tolerate them. In as much as one has to be at alert as regards the kind of visitors one allows in, on recognizing or identifying the visitors, the first rule is to welcome and address them with decorum-young or old.
You have been watching television, playing a video cassette or other games and a visitor comes unexpectedly. The most polite thing to do is to excuse the visitor especially if he/she is an elderly person and take your game inside.
It is mannerless to eavesdrop on conversations your parents or other people are having with guests in the living room, corridor, garden or patio.
It is also mannerless to exhibit poor phone numbers in the presence of visitors by dialing and phoning endlessly every number you could get and chatting loudly on the phone.
Avoid interrupting a conversation without first seeking permission to speak.
Remember to always be a neat host; leave the home neat for your guests. From the living room to the lavatory, everywhere must look spic and span. Do not throw objects around haphazardly; it can hurt visitors or repulse them.
Do not turn the house into a battleground while guests are around. It depicts you as boorish and unruly. Moreover, it can also embarrass your parents and other elderly people at home.
Do not make unnecessary noise by blaring your radio, shouting along or banging your feet on the staircase or indulging in other noisy past-times. Remember that noise is a nuisance; nobody likes it.
Always serve guests drinks with appropriate tumblers. The tumblers should be clean. You should know the difference between a wine glass and a tall glass for serving water or fruit juice.
If the guest is joining you at the table for lunch or dinner, always endeavor to comport yourself. Do not eat like a glutton, make noise with cutlery or chat endlessly while eating or spill water or other drinks on the dining table. Always try to be careful at the table; also, learn to set a table.
Learn to greet others when they arrive or return home. By this, you would have imbibed the habit of how to welcome visitors.
Finally, remember the axiom that “manners maketh a man.” The way you comport yourself at home to your family, friends and by extension, visitors, are parameters that would determine how you will comport yourself in public. Your manners would determine your social behavior and give a picture of the kind of home you come from. Always emulate the conduct of adults who are civilized; they should serve as your role models.

FACIAL MAKE-UP DANGERS- ADEWOYIN OLAWUNMI.M
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Facial expressions are concepts that give meaning to life because it is how we express our emotions in various situations that assist in interpreting the environment around us. Some people think because their friends are using a particular product or treatment means they can also the use the same. We tend to forget every one of us have different skin types which require different attention and medication.
Foroilyskin:
Avoid creaming your face
Use Avon talc powder as foundation for everyday use before applying brown powder
Use Mary Kay blotters to clean off excess sweat or oil on your face because they leave your face dry and fresh
Cleanse your face regularly with oil free remover (particularly a Mary Kay product)
Fordryskin:
Use a moisturizer for your face
Leave it to dry for a while before applying powder
Use a cleanser in the morning and at night to keep your face fresh but not too dry
Fornormalskin:
Use a little powder as your base formulation
Then apply your powder
In maintaining a fresh and smooth skin, cleanse your face first thing in the morning and last thing before going to bed
This also applies to the facial make-up we wear. It is necessary for us to wear facial make-ups that suit our facial structure and skin colour.
Make-ups are substances used in enhancing the human body appearance. It often shows that women can’t go anywhere without applying make-up or cosmetics to their faces, nails etc. Fashion victims buy things for the sake of it with no thought about what they are wearing. As a woman, when you are already beautiful, instead of applying heavy make-up, all you need is just a touch of facial powder and lip gloss. Heavy make-up can harm the skin, thereby causing or creating ugly spots, wrinkles on the face and skin. Facial make-up may also have other side effects depending on the skin type of the users; so decent use of make-up is recommended or most importantly, the services of a qualified beautician need to be sought before applying facial make-up. Below are some of the benefits and dangers of facial make-up
Facial make-up adorns the looks of a woman, making her look more attractive
Facial make-up, if used moderately enhances a woman’s beauty.
In terms of graceful aging, it makes the woman look younger than her age
Facial make-up helps in concealing skin blemishes such as pimples
It improves blood circulation
Dangers
Excess make-up makes the skin oilier
Excess or improper facial make-up makes people look ugly and funny
Excess facial make-up can damage the eyes. Bacteriological contamination especially from mascara can become a breeding ground for micro-organisms transferred from the eyelid or fingers via the mascara applicator, thereby causing eye infections if the hand applying the mascara scratches the eye. Contamination is particularly a problem in store samplers, into which dozens of people have dipped their fingers. To avoid this, users should avoid store samples on the face.
It is important that when applying facial make-up, the skin texture of the user must be put into consideration as wrong application of facial make-up causes skin irritation.
Applying facial make-up wastes a woman’s valuable time.
It causes skin cancer. Many chemicals and cosmetic ingredients are capable of penetrating the skin and entering the body. Some commonly used ingredients are suspected carcinogens (organisms that cause cancer) while others are known to cause allergic reactions such as itching and sneezing.
A large number of ladies go to bed with their facial make-up on mostly because they work late and are too tired to wash it off. Making a habit of going to sleep with make-up on is a sure ticket to clogged pores, leading to bad skin or pimples. To avoid this, keep a pack of make-up wipers close by so that you clean your make-up in a jiffy.
GIVING YOUR FACE A BOOST

There’s nothing more attractive than good skin without thick make-up. Every woman should take a good look at her face every five years because they change subtly all the time. Do you want your face to glow, with smoothness as well as long lasting benefits? If your answer is yes, learn to apply colours to the barest minimum. With the colours of facial make-up, you can add a little shimmer to your total look. It is very important to note that it is the long-term effect that counts and not the weight; heavy make-up, mostly lip stick has the tendency of cracking in a few hours but a light touch will do.
Eye shadow add glint to the eyes, foundation shapes and lifts the face, mascara enhances the eyes, blushes highlight the cheek bones while lip sticks or lip gloss add sheen and appeal to your total look. Finally, be sure to cleanse your face before going to bed with your desired cleanser. That way, your skin looks firmer, refined and youthful.

KOLA OYEWO: AN ACTOR CUM DIRECTOR AFTER OLA ROTIMI- ADEWOYIN OLAWUNMI.M
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Chief Gabriel Adekola Benedict Oyewo popularly known as Kola Oyewo is a hybrid theatre product in town and gown. He combines his nine years experience of active participation in the productions of OyinAdejobi Theatre with the training he received at the Ori-Olokun Theatre (now Awo Varsity Theatre) under Ola Rotimi. He has also worked under Wole Soyinka, Femi Osofisan and many other directors as a member of the ObafemiAwolowo University Theatre. The Oba-Ile born veteran actor, director, associate professor and acting head of department of the Redeemer’s University, Ogun state who was recently honored with the chieftaincy title of BalogunofOba-Ile spoke with SUCCESS DIGEST about his foray into lecturing, his role as a title-holder and his career among other things.
In the beginning
Acting has been a part of me since my elementary years in primary and secondary school. Our teachers in primary school taught us plays which we will use in entertaining our parents at the end of the session. On getting to Secondary Modern School, I joined the Oba Dramatic Society founded in 1961 by uncleKunleOlaniyan. During the long vacation, he would gather all us together and teach us plays that he came across, after which we would perform in Oba and other neighboring towns and villages. Ever since, the passion for being on stage has been there.
Early theatre experiences
After I left Secondary Modern School in December 1963, I stumbled on an advert that OyinAdejobi was in dire need of interested boys and girls desiring to be trained for his professional theatre group. I attended the audition and was accepted into the group. After spending nine years with the OyinAdejobi Theatre Group, I saw one of Ola Rotimi’s play productions, Kurunmi being staged in Ile-Ife by the Ori-Olokun Players. I was fascinated by their performance and decided to be a part of them.
Firstmajorroles
My first major role on joining the OyinAdejobi Theatre Group was Adejare in the film OrogunAdedigba, which happened to be OyinAdejobi’s autobiography. Another one I played was Kuye, OyinAdejobi’s adaptation of D.F. Odunjo’s novel, Kuye. Also, when I joined the University of Ife (The Ori-Olokun players), my first major role was Odewale in Ola Rotimi’sThegodsarenottoblame.
Mostchallengingandfavoriteroles
My first challenging role was Kuye because the character in question was a deaf and dumb orphan from the beginning to the end of the play. I found the role really challenging because it took a lot of concentration to remain in character despite the fact I could hear what others were Odewale in the Thegodsarenot to blame and the reason being that unlike in OyinAdejobi’s productions whereby once you know the storyline, you have to come up with the dialogue yourself in Yoruba language. But working under Ola Rotimi, I had to memorize the lines for the gods are not to blame since I was neither used to a scripted play nor taken part in a play scripted in English, but I had to take up the challenge and I must confess that it turned out to be a role that for the longest time in my life (1974-2000). Like I said earlier, it wasn’t easy but I was very vibrant because the character is someone who is very agile. Even now at 68, I’m still very agile because of the exercise we go through the theatre, we tend to look young and active.
UnforgettableMoments
If I remember clearly, it was when Professor Wole Soyinka took five of us: GboyegaAjayi, TunjiOjeyemi, AdisaTaiwo, MrsFolaboAjayi, his younger sister and my humble self to perform a play which he directed at the Black Arts Festival held at the Lincoln Centre, New York in 1980. Dr. YemiOgunbiyi, who also trained in New York took us to so many places; it was really exciting. We also had the opportunity of performing in a dance drama at the same festival in 1982; it was really an experience that I would always remember all my life.
Forayintolecturing
As a member of the University of Ife theatre, I didn’t have the opportunity of furthering my education because I felt I was fulfilled being with OyinAdejobi for good nine years. But when I saw how things were being done, I told myself that this was the time to get a University degree. I wrote GCE at the age of 44 after which I proceeded to the University of Ife after writing UME. I started with a degree in Dramatic Arts, a certificate in Yoruba Oral Literature and B.A Dramatic Arts all in OAU. After bagging my first degree at the age of 49 in 1995 as a directing major, one of my able lecturers, Dr. Charles Uji advised me to pursue my Masters degree in directing since I had exceeded the age for NYSC; after my Masters degree, my HOD, Dr. OluAkomolafe also advised me to pursue the directing area of specialization to the PhD level so that I could be lecturing in the areas of acting and directing. As a result of being converted from a university theatre member to an academic staff, I have had the rare privilege of directing plays like AkinwunmiIsola’sMadamTinubu (2003 Convocation play), Ola Rotimi’sManTalk, WomanTalk (Departmental production) and HopesoftheLivingDead (2006 Convocation play) co-directed with the department’s HOD, Professor (Mrs.) FolukeOgunleye. I retired as a senior lecturer from the department of Dramatic Arts, OAU Ile-Ife in September, 2011 after spending my sabbatical here in the Redeemer’s University where I was appointed as the associate professor and acting head of the Theatre Arts Department.
Classroomexperiencewithyourson, Adeyemi
Having Adeyemi as my classmate was all fun to me; we attended classes, practicals and tutorials together, and even made noise together. Sometimes, when lecturers like UkoAtai, Charles Uji or FolukeOgunleye come to class and find the students misbehaving, they get angry and walk out of the lecture room. I would be the one the students sent to appeal on their behalf. Sometimes when my son and I are given semester break assignments, my wife was the one that typed our assignments; sometimes she would compare my son’s own with mine and when I score more marks than him, my wife would admonish him that the reason behind it was that what he wrote was too scanty compared to mine. I must confess that we learnt a lot from each other; for example, he understood poetry so well while I didn’t had time for such. I also taught him some things he couldn’t understand. After we graduated, he got a good job in Group Africa, an advertising company in Lagos while I decided to join the academia which compelled me to pursue my Master’s and PhD.
Numberofhomevideofilmsfeaturedinandwhich role launchedyouintolimelight

I have starred in more than 100 hundred home video films but the prominent ones include OrogunAdedigba, Kuye,KootuAsipa, Atoka,Koseegbe, Saworoide, AsaleEni, EfunsetanAniwura, EgunEleegun, OmoChief, IgiAruwe, Baleku, GbereObinrin, Agboworan, OwoEje, AlabaOniresi, AgbaMeeji, F’olaToore and so on. The film that shot me into the limelight was Mako in Koseegbe.
Awards/laurelsreceived
They include: Thema Award for the best actor of the year 1995
Reel Award for the Best Actor for the year, 1998
Thema Award for the Best Actor of the year 2000
LTV Tiwantiwa award for the best actor of the millennium 2000
Afro Hollywood Award, London, 2002
Theatre Legacy Award 2005,Osun State Merit Award 2005
Distinguished Alumnus Award, Faculty of Arts, O.A.U, Ile-Ife, 2006
The Nigerian home video industry then and now

To me, the video industry has been bastardized because nowadays people don’t want to go through training; they just wake up one day, saying they too want to be artistes. I am not just an actor but a trained one and when such people approach me, I tell them that can they approach a doctor or lawyer and say they want to practice their profession without going through the university, law and medical school? I had the opportunity of studying Drama at certificate level, B.A., Master’s and PhD, so why won’t I be different from someone who just became an actor by emergency. If I don’t, my years in the university would have been a wasted effort.





Yourresponsibilitiesas a title-holder

I am a prince of Oba-Ile but the position of Balogun could be occupied by anybody the Kabiyesi feels like honoring. In my own case before I accepted, I had to consult my wife, children and others before they were convinced because part of the reasons why it took so long for me to consider the title is that we asked questions whether it will affect our lineage when the time comes to present a king. My responsibilities as Balogun include holding consultations with the Kabiyesi, being the third in rank to him on the affairs of the town. We hold meetings on Fridays although there could be emergency meetings except when the king declares holidays for us. But he gave me a concession that I could attend meetings when I have the time.
Thechieftaincytitle, yourlecturingandactingcareers: howdoyoucombinethem?
As a lecturer and HOD, I’m here Mondays through Fridays, while I spend my weekends at Oba-Ile or film locations but as a title holder, if I am needed for a role, the people involved will contact me on phone and if the chieftaincy role will not hinder me, I will go.
Adviceforaspiringthespians
Like the saying goes, “Rome was not built in a day; you have to start from somewhere.” The theatre profession, like every profession requires expertise. Theatre is very broad in nature as it involves areas such as acting/mime, directing, radio, television and film production, costume/make-up, theatre management, playwrighting, children’s theatre, dance/choreography, stage management etc. my candid advice for aspiring to be in the theatre profession is to acquire training in various areas; it might be easy at the beginning, but once commitment becomes your watchword, you will definitely rise to the top.

a certain rich man was asked to make choice about where he would spend eternity. on getting to the White Throne room, he was shown both heaven and heaven; heaven consisted of a shabby slum-like community with dilapidated building structures while hell consisted of a seaside resort with a bevy of seductive ladies flaunting their backsides to sweet music. because of his insatiable lust for women while on earth, he was granted his heart desire and chose hell.
thirty minutes later, an angel was sent to find how the man was faring. on getting to hell, the man was surrounded by flames of fire, whipped and stabbed by the devil and his demons in the form of women. in a terrible and agonizing voice, he asked the angel, "but this is not hell you showed me". the angel responded saying, "Don't you know that a person is destroyed by he/she loves so much. for your information, what you saw about heaven or hell was just a demo."

JOKES PARLOUR- ADEWOYIN OLAWUNMI.M
234 8057840456, 8165785817, 8165703792
wumzyangel@yahoo.com
(1) JUST A NOTE
A ten year old boy, Andy paid a visit to the house of one of his friends, Brian. On reaching his destination, the following ensued between himself and Brian’s mother:
MRS JONES: Your friend stepped out about 30 minutes ago. Would you like to leave a note for him?
ANDY: I would have loved to, but all I have is a 10 dollar note my uncle gave me to buy ice cream and cake and I can’t part with it.
(2) THE FISHING BOY
A boy was caught fishing in an unauthorized place. An angry guard, on seeing him shouted at him, ’’stupid boy, are your eyes faulty? Can’t you read the sign over there, NO FISHING HERE’’? The boy retorted hotly, ’’You this old man, who told you that I was fishing? I’m only teaching this worm how to swim underwater.’’
(3) HEAVEN OR HELL
A certain rich man was asked to make his choice about where he would spend his eternity. On getting to the White Throne room, he was shown both Heaven and Hell. Heaven consisted of a shabby community with dilapidated building structures while Hell consisted of a seaside resort with a bevy of seductive ladies flaunting their backsides to sweet music. Because of his insatiable lust for women during his time on earth, he was granted his heart desire and chose Hell.
Thirty minutes later, an angel was sent to Hell to see how the rich man was faring. On getting to Hell, the rich man was surrounded by flames of fire, whipped and stabbed incessantly by the devil and his agents. In a terrible and agonizing voice, he asked the angel, ’’But this is not the Hell you showed me. Where are all those girls?’’ The angel responded saying, “Don’t you know that a person is destroyed by what he/she loves so much? Well all you saw about Hell was just a demo.”
(4) APRIL FOOL
On April 1st of a certain morning, a girl, Amanda ran to her mother saying, ‘’Mummy, the maidservant is in bed with a strange man.’’ Her mother ran out the bedroom to see for herself who the strange man was but on getting there, with a mischievous laugh, Amanda said, ‘’April fool, mum. There’s no strange man in this house, it’s only Dad.’’
(5) THE RENT COLLECTOR
A rent collector came to a house to collect his monthly rent from his tenants. There he met the son of his tenants who told him that, ‘’Sir, my father said that you should come back on Friday.’’ The man said, ‘’But why should I come back on Friday of all days?’’ The boy replied, ‘’I wouldn’t know but we are moving out on Thursday.’’
(6)SILENT CONVERSATION
A certain man and wife have married for 10 years but were always quarreling over trivial issues. But one day, the husband wanted to keep an important appointment the following day and knowing that his wife won’t be kind enough to wake up, he decided to write a note saying, ‘’Foolish woman, wake me up at 6:30 a.m., signed your husband. But when he woke up the following day, the time was 8:30 a.m. beside him on the bed was note which read, ‘’Wise man, wake up. It is already 6:30 a.m., signed your wife.’’
(7) SIMPLY DELICIOUS
There was an old woman who wanted to celebrate her 80th birthday. She had three wealthy sons who decided they wanted to do something special for her. The eldest son got her a really nice expansive mansion, lavishly furnished for many people to reside in. The second son got her a brand new expensive limousine, complete with chauffeur while the youngest son got her a special parrot. This parrot was indeed a special one because it could recite any verse in the Bible. If you said John 3:16, the parrot would recite that verse and it took a group of Sunday school teachers 12 years to teach the parrot to quote the entire Bible.
The mother’s 80th birthday came and went, and it was time for the old woman to write letters of appreciation to her children. The first one read one read: Dear son, thank you so much for the mansion. Out of the ten rooms, I live in two rooms of it, and I still have to clean the whole thing, but it is really a nice house. Thank you. Love from Mum. The second one went like this: Dear son, thank you so much for the new limo. Even though I go out once in a while but the chauffeur is rather insolent and saucy. I really appreciate the new car. Love from Mum. The third said this: Dear son, you know exactly what a mother needs. You gave me exactly what I always wanted. Thank you so much for the chicken, it was simply delicious! Love from Mum.
( PROFESSOR KNOW ALL
A certain professor visited a particular country on the African continent. As he toured different parts of the country, he decided to engage the services of a canoe man to ferry across the river. As they embarked on their journey, the professor decided to display his academic qualifications before the canoe man. The following conversation ensued between them:
PROFESSOR: Young man, what is the aquatic content of this river?
CANOE MAN: Sir, if I had an answer to that question, would I be here?
PROFESSOR: Your life is a complete waste. Another question: what is the chemical composure of this your canoe?
CANOE MAN: If I couldn’t answer the first question, how possibly can I answer this?
PROFESSOR: Your life is in shambles but I will give you the last chance to redeem your battered image, what is the Encyclopedia Geography cum Socio-Anthropology of the place we are heading for?
CANOE MAN: Look, professor whatever you call yourself, I am beginning to realize that you are going bonkers with all these questions you have been asking me. Does it look like I attended the four walls of a school?
PROFESSOR: Your life is a total waste.
All of a sudden, a strong wind began to blow, making the boat rock violently, thereby transforming the quiet river into a violent tempest. The canoe man seeing that the professor was so afraid fired a question at him.
CANOE MAN: Sir, can you swim?
PROFESSOR: Not at all. You see, my wife tried teaching how to swim at a public swimming pool in London but all to no avail.
CANOE MAN: There you are, sir. You mean a mere woman tried teaching you something that will prove useful to you in future, but you refused to learn. With due respect sir, your life too is wasted.
By this time, both men were helpless against the force of the storm. All of a sudden, the canoe man dived into the river and was swimming to safety
PROFESSOR: Come back, you can’t leave me to my fate. It is against international humanitarian law to do such a thing
CANOE MAN: Still talking grammar? Never mind, by the time you find yourself inside the river, you will know its aquatic content.
(9)WHAT IF…..
A teacher was telling her class that it is physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human being because a whale’s throat is tiny. And a little boy stood up and said, ‘’when I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.’’ And the teacher asked, ’’what if Jonah went to Hell?’’ the little boy replied with, ‘’then you will ask him yourself.’’

(10) THE THIRD CAT
Three young Nigerian undergraduates visited their some ladies in a female hostel on campus but unfortunately, they over stayed the visiting hours. Knowing fully well that the chief porter is not an easy going person, they decided to scale the fence. The first two persons climbed the fence and landed with a loud thud and when the chief porter asked who it was, the sound of a pussy cat was the reply. It was the turn of the third person to scale the fence and but unfortunately, the force with which he landed was much louder than his other colleagues. In an angry voice, the chief porter shouted, “Who is that mother fucking arse hole and swine?” The man replied, “I am neither an arsehole nor a swine; I am the third cat.”

(11) STEP-HEN
A beauty contest was arranged in Sabonville City. The top final contestants were chosen but were asked to pronounce words that were spelt. The following conversation ensued between the M.C. and one of the contestants:
M.C.: What is s-t-e-p f-a-t-h-e-r?
CONTESTANT: Stepfather
M.C: Correct. What is s-t-e-p m-o-t-h-e-r?
CONTESTANT: Stepmother
M.C: Correct. What is s-t-e-p-b-r-o-t-h-e-r?
CONTESTANT: Stepbrother
M.C.: What is s-t-e-p-s-i-s-t-e-r?
CONTESTANT: Stepsister
M.C.: One last question. What is s-t-e-p-h-e-n?
CONTESTANT: Step hen
The audience burst into uncontrollable laughter. The Master, unable to control his own laughter corrected her by saying, ‘’No my dear, the word is Stephen, a man’s name.’
(12) BIBLE PASSAGE
A Yoruba man, an Hausa man and an Igbo man were asked concerning some passages in the Bible and their reasons for not agreeing to them. The Yoruba man was the first to speak and this to say,’’ What pains me about the Bible is when Jesus raised Lazarus back to life. After the public announcement of Lazarus’ death, we borrowed money to buy the clothes, food and drinks for the burial ceremony. But Jesus came on the fourth day and raised him up from the dead. Everything needed for the burial was wasted for no just cause.’’ The Hausa man said, ’’My friend, what I detest about that Bible book is about the woman that they charged for adultery. According the Sharia law, the penalty for such an act is the loss of the offender’s right hand but Jesus came and set her free.’’ Last was the Igbo man and this is what he had to say,’’ In my own opinion, my worst passage in the Bible is the place that had to do with when Jesus was betrayed for 30 pieces of silver by Judas Iscariot. Later, he threw away the money just like that. If I were Judas Iscariot, Jesus would be sold for 1 million naira which I will invest in container business. But for Judas, he screwed up, big time.’’
ABOUT THE WRITER
Born 32 years ago, award winning stage/screen actress, choreographer, storyteller and writer, Adewoyin Olawunmi Moradeyo holds a B.A degree in Dramatic Arts. Her burning passion for writing articles and stories started right from her primary and secondary school days as a committed and dedicated member of the Drama/Cultural and Press clubs where she has had the ample opportunity to represent her secondary school at various outings; the 2nd place prize in mock news casting is one of such laurels received at one of such outings. Her written but unpublished works include Aunty wummy’s bedtime stories, classic nursery rhymes for children, African Moonlight Tales (Volumes 1-3), The king’s heir and other stories and sunset at noon and other stories.