KOGI .....................................................

I read your predicament with tears dropping from my eyes. As a married man, I never new a wife can do that to her beloved husband. Take her to any quiet and conducive place and talk to her sense. Don't involve her family members nor yours. Always pray with your family. May God help you.

Souqwaqif:
Dear All,

Greetings from here. Just needing a piece of positive counsel here. It has been subtle and recurrent but I decided to share this particular one.

My wife travelled for a burial with my kids without my knowledge. I travelled far away for work and call home everyday. Just recently I called very early in the morning to tell my wife I will be coming home by weekend,she somewhat sounded surprised and said instead of me coming on Friday I should come on Sunday.

I didn't say anything,I pretended not to be angry with that. Yet I immediately did a cash transfer for feeding and balance for the kids school fees that same morning we were discussing.

Later in the evening,I expected her to call and update me on the fees payment,but I didn't receive any call,I then had to call but her lines were all switched off,at this point I was worried especially when I couldn't talk to the kids.

I then called a neighbor to help me check if they are at home only to confirm they travelled for burial which the neighbor got to know from a phone conversation between my wife and her sister.

At this point, I called my wife's brother only to confirm that they were having a burial in their village, which I am not aware of,even as an inlaw.

Right now am very upset and I don't want to act in anger, please how can I react to this conspiracy between her and her family carrying my car with my kids to a distant village for burial without my knowledge.

Thanks for mature inputs only:

Thank you

emror4u:
Item 1: 10/2 = 5 (single foot of shoe)
Item 2: 5+10+4 =19 (man + shoe + ice-cream)
Item 3: 4/2 =2 (half ice-cream)

10/2 + (19 x 2) = 43


BS: Please pay closer attention to the man, he is LOADED.

1. Don't sack her
2. Keep loving her
3. Invite her and your wife to your office
4. Apologize to her for poke-nosing into her privacy
5. Tell her how you mistakenly stumbled on her Facebook chats
6. Tell her things that will make her to regret her actions
7. Let your wife cuddle her
8. Tell her how you and your family care and trust her
9. God allowed you to see those chats
10. Hence, you are responsible to win her soul back to God.

OritaIbadan:
I employed this 21years old lady last year as a sales rep. At resumption to work she appeard so decent and godly always With her Bible and Sunday school manual. I was really impressed by her spiritual and respectful nature. This made me treat her different from others. I buy her things and sometimes gives her money and always discuss her good life style with my wife. But what amazed me was that my wife was so indifferent about her each time I discuss her my wife will quickly change the topic. I thought, well woman with their naughty behavior towards other women.

Fast forward to June first this year her phone was stolen and I have a phone in office that I allow them access to incase their phone is off I can easily reach them through it. This faithful day, I tried to access my Facebook account using the office phone and found out that this same lady had used it but forget to logout. Well, I knew it was wrong to check her inbox but all the same I did.

After checking her inbox I couldn't sleep all night. I found out that she is having unprotected sex with 5 guys each guy per Sunday and she just did an abortion March this year the very day she told me that she was sick and can't make it to work and she wasn't sure who among the guys that impregnated her. I also found out that she had missed her period again and trying to hang it on one of the boys. The amazing thing is that non of these guys suspects her, they all believe she is a faithful girl friend.

I have thought of relieving her of her job, but my wife is asking me what should I give as reasons. But the truth is that I had never winessed such a wayward life before. If I pretend as though I know nothing she will eventually commit another abortion and continue with such life which is very dangerous at her age. What if she is my own daughter?

Please I want the mode to push this to the front page. I want to seek others opnion about it

You are a man. Time heals all wounds.

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

Kindly send her the link below. Ensure she reads the post and all the comments.
Next day early in the morning, go on your knees and tender your apology.
Your wife is a God fearing woman. She will definitely forgive you.

https://www.nairaland.com/5827261/how-win-wifes-heart-back

You and your wife should go to any nearby General Hospital and ask of implant (Nexplanon). You either go for a 3yrs implant or 5yrs implant.

gabazin080:
My wife and I don't like condom and we are both very sexually active. to avoid stories that touch we did family planning but it failed in May and my twin girls are just a year old then, so we decided that we can't keep the pregnancy.

After clearing that mess she went back to the hospital to complain and was given another injection and some drugs that she should come back for the injection every 6 months.

Now she is pregnant again after just 4 months. family planning has failed again, what can we do to prevent another pregnancy because we are not going to keep this also and we planned not to have kids again till maybe after 10 years.


Please help with any local or natural method of family planning.

Where are the police

franchasng:
So long as Buhari is voted out at the end, majority of Nigerians will forgive you INEC people but if at the end, the terrorist cum failed Tyrant President wins, then all blames must be on INEC for thwarting the will of the masses

I commend the job well done. I however disagree with the picture pasted. Where did they get that picture?

I served my father land in Biu in year 2006. Very nice and quite place then.

chatinent:

.
Source: http://chatinent.com.ng/index.php?act=ST&f=46&t=511&st=0#entry999
.

Thank you dearly. I will take my time to go through the links. I appreciate!

Commonsense101:


You should find these posts and people quite helpful.

https://www.nairaland.com/3263090/post-mechanical-plumbing-problem-here

https://www.nairaland.com/4434421/prospective-home-owners-guide-domestic#66488942

https://www.nairaland.com/2550211/general-topic-thread-to-discuss-anything/928#66439613

Good day to all the certified Plumbers and Electricians in the house. I need electric wiring and plumbing professional counsel for my five bed rooms building please. If possible, cost estimation analysis is highly appreciated. Thanks and remain blessed!

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Thank you for sharing sir. I think this tread is very helpful indeed.

alstacs:


I found this thread helpful on roofing.
https://www.nairaland.com/1789513/how-calculate-hardwood-needed-house

Thank you sir. I will get back to you soon.

KolaShangOne:


Thanks oga @EgunMogaji

@ourboss Its nearly impossible for a layman to identify names / types of wood. These sellers tend to mix the bad with good ones. You can go to the mill, find an elderly seller and beg him to help you with purchase. Most times, soft wood are usually light weight. Not all soft wood are bad wood though.

Thank you so much. I really appreciate.

EgunMogaji:


Search for a poser by the name of HSLBroker, he did a write up.

Also, search for KolaShangOne.

Good luck on your project.

If I may ask, how do I know or identify original woods for my roofing? Thanks

Thank you so much. I really appreciate. I will get back to you when I'm ready for the roofing.

bixton:

Click on this link to get prices based on the various aluminium types and guages. Using a good installer is paramount in doing a neat work and avoiding leaks,etc,etc.

https://www.tolet.com.ng/blog/cost-of-roofing-a-2-bedroom-flat-in-nigeria/

Thank you sir. Can you suggest anyone affordable and durable one pls.

bixton:


There are long span aluminium you can use.

Good Morning Nairalanders! I'm planning to use a cameron zink for my roofing. I need a vital advice pls. Thanks

15 x 15 + 6 =
225 + 6 = 231

This man is loved and welcomed by his people anywhere he goes. Though, I'm not from Ekiti state but sincerely speaking I like him for his simplicity and generosity. I always imagine how many Governors in Nigeria can move around freely (Without heavy presence of military personnel) in their own state like Fayose does in his state. Looking at the way the youths are smiling at this man makes me weep for my Kogi state.

ebosie11:
Governor Ayodele Fayose at Okesa area of Ado Ekiti yesterday evening exchanging pleasantries with his people while inspecting some projects.


Source: http://www.trezzyhelm.com/2017/07/fayose-exchanges-pleasantries-with-his.html

Don't join them pls. To be a man is not by what you eat or drink. My ex gf left me because I don't drink alcohol and go out for party. Learn from my upload below.

DeGuyNxtDoor:
Good morning everyone, I would just head straight to the point here.

I happen to be a person who does not find smoking even the said harmless shisha fun. I hate it so much that I advice my friends to stop it when they do it in clubs. I also hate drinks as well, be it alcohol, beer or the popular kerewa hard drinks. I can at least settle down with malt as I don't take fanta, Pepsi, coke and the rest of the sugary drinks


Now my problem is my friends, they indirectly insult me over this, even my own brother did too, saying I look too soft cos I'm not doing weed or shisha at least which is harmless, that I'm not man enough physically. Its become persistent that its starting to worry me and I just wanna hear someone say I'm doing what's right and not wrong...

I'm not tryna show/say I'm a Holy person but I just don't like it. Is this normal? Are there guys like me out there?

Na boy?

I have a dream that one day my name will be included in Jesus name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are you paying your wife a monthly salary? You pay the bill, buy food stuff, pay her school fee. What do you think she is doing with the money you called salary? As a man you need to be pragmatic in whatever decision you are taking or making. My brother, pray that God should give you the wisdom to safe your marriage.
Note the following:-
1. Give her money for upkeep
2. Don't place her on monthly salary (you may find this difficult now that she is used to it).
3. Both of you need fresh marriage counseling from a reliable person(s). This will help you to handle point No. 2 above maturely if not prudently
4. When she graduates, find a job for her. From your explanation, she may find it difficult to uphold a business.
5. Marriage is the only Institution that will first issue you certificate before commencing the lectures.
6. Always learn to forgive and never invite third party to settle your little argument
7. Be romantic in your marriage and don't play with her sexual urge. (She will respect you more if you allow her to 'come first' once in a while)
May God help you.

skypeme:


30,100 / 175,000 x 100% = 17.2%
I add 2.5% increment to my wifes salary every Dec

2 6 0

Ask her whether she did abortion recently. Get back to me if yes.

Buy La-wash for her

Sorry but she looks like a masquerade.