Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, “Before entering you must answer this simple question.”

“Which is …?”, they replied in unison.

“Have you been a good girl?” he asked the first girl.

Read more @ http://www.jokesmannia.com/st-peter-picks-a-girl-for-himself/

Digital marketing is simply any form of marketing conducted on digital platforms; it basically involves the marketing of goods and services. There are however digital marketers and successful digital marketers, what sets both factions apart are their choices and attitude to work. In this article, I break down what you need to know and apply if you plan on being a successful digital marketer. Read on to discover the inside tips:

Read more @ http://www.nerveng.com/4-traits-of-successful-digital-marketers/

See more @ www.jokesmannia.com

Y’all would have heard time and again people say something about love at first sight, about how they saw someone and the butterflies in their tommy started misbehaving all of a sudden; or that they lost touch with reality and found themselves in the web of the person’s allure. It is confusing to me; I know it is possible to be attracted to someone at first sight, but love? Love is deeper! And does it really take a first time appreciation to get to that level. Well, let’s assume people actually fall in love like that; now what if it is not possible?

Read more @ http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-there-is-nothing-like-love-at-first-sight/

@hertz9te. Yes o!

The entertainment industry operates in such a way that is inconsistent to how the real world is structured. What I mean is, celebrity life is a life on its own –different from the everyday/normal life of normal people. For instance, in terms of relationships, we (normal people) don’t expect to see anything concrete in the other world and if we do, we tend to look forward to dissolution of vows sooner or later; and fact is, it always gets to that majority of the time. Away from that, In this post, my crazy mind explores the question – the title of this article; join me.

Read more @ www.jokesmannia.com

Akpos was having an argument with his Wife. The Wife called Akpos a fool. Akpos got angry and said, “I cannot be called a fool by a woman, not even my wife. She must therefore leave my house!”

Neighbours intervened and the matter was resolved. But the Wife still nursed anger.

Later that night, it rained heavily. It was so cold that Akpos wanted to perform his manly duty. Sneaking his hands to touch his Wife’s laps in the dark, the Wife shouted, “WHO IS THAT FOOL?!”

Akpos replied, “It is me!”

Get more @ jokesmannia.com

A wife went on holiday leaving her husband behind. The husband got so hot one day that he decided to try the maid who had just come from Nsukka village and who seemed clever. … He called the maid to his bedroom where he had taken off his pants, he pointed to his manhood when the maid arrived.

Husband: Do you know what this is?
Maid: (acting shy) Yes

Husband: Do you know
what it s for?
Maid:Yes
Husband: show me.

Read more @ http://www.jokesmannia.com/husband-invites-maid-to-his-bedroom/

I understand their need to react to the inhumane shootings at the Orlando club but I do not understand or see any reason for them to murder the English language in cold blood at the same time. Shall we begin to mourn the demise of English too? Smh…

Follow link to see the tweets... http://www.jokesmannia.com/these-american-celebrities-murdered-english-with-their-comments-on-the-orlando-gay-shooting/

One man’s marriage has gotten a bit dull, so he asks a friend if he has any ideas on how to add some excitement back to the marriage.

“Well,” his friend says, “you can always have an affair.”

“I can’t do that! I will always be faithful to her.” the troubled man replies.

“If you convince her to let you do it, and then it won’t be cheating.”

The man agrees to give it a try. The next time his wife seems to be in a very good mood he shares the idea with her that a new partner would add excitement.

“Honey,” his wife says, “that won’t help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it.”

@Jokesmannia.com

More often than not, majority carries the vote, but then, does it mean that the minority is wrong or they are just being overpowered by a mass of sentimental opinions? All around the world, Mandela is celebrated as an icon, a freedom fighter, an advocate of democracy, a soft-hearted man who after enduring oppression chose to pardon transgression; all of which successfully landed him a Nobel Prize. Admittedly, there are a few who dispute the credibility of Mandela’s honesty, and it is that group and their opinions that matter in this article. What if Mandela is not the saint most of us have been made to believe he is?

Read more @ http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-nelson-mandela-actually-betrayed-south-africa/

More often than not, majority carries the vote, but then, does it mean that the minority is wrong or they are just being overpowered by a mass of sentimental opinions? All around the world, Mandela is celebrated as an icon, a freedom fighter, an advocate of democracy, a soft-hearted man who after enduring oppression chose to pardon transgression; all of which successfully landed him a Nobel Prize. Admittedly, there are a few who dispute the credibility of Mandela’s honesty, and it is that group and their opinions that matter in this article. What if Mandela is not the saint most of us have been made to believe he is?

Read more @ jokesmhttp://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-nelson-mandela-actually-betrayed-south-africa/annia

News reaching Jokesmannia is that the former defender and coach of the Nigerian football team is dead. As much as this seems like a very credible story considering that various media have picked it up and even the family of the ‘deceased’ too have confirmed it, it is possible that this is just a big hoax. Don’t look at me, don’t you know that people do fake their death; or that other people can be responsible for such a thing? So, if he is not dead, then what’s he up to?

Read more @http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-stephen-keshi-is-not-dead/

Jose Muorinho now sits at the helm of affairs at Manchester United and I am yet to recover from the shock the news gave me. I mean, I never thought he would settle for such a club, and I never thought Man United would pocket their pride and go for him. I guess change is indeed a constant thing; ironically though, change does not exactly guarantee progress. And that happens to be my point here, what if Muorinho does not live up to expectations?

Do you think Muorinho would be booted out before the end of the season if he follows in the footsteps of Van Gaul…Gaal I mean? Well, I think he won’t and that just goes to show how Man United is becoming complacent and receptive to failure. They’d probably be banking on the Portuguese man’s track record and hoping on hope to deliver them. I do hope they take the chance with him though, so that Arsenal won’t have more competition to deal with, considering that Leicester City has joined the race.

Read more @http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-muorinho-fumbles-at-manchester-united/

Lol. Hater...

@tjark1, 40??!! Diaris God o!

Jamie Vardy appears to have become an idol for the Leicester fans as his efforts last season saw the club lift the Premier League for the first time. As is usually the case with heroes like this, there are high expectations from the fans for another superb outing, but there are also pressures from other clubs admiring him from afar. Presently, Arsenal is reported to have made an offer for the English man, and this is what I think would become of him if he accepts the offer.

Vardy would have successfully murdered and disposed the high spirits pervading the Leicester City as a whole, if he accepts the offer. The guy has become a force to reckon with, an inspiration, and a propeller to greatness. It’s quite unfortunate that Leicester would have to mourn his loss for a while which should affect the start of their season which should in turn affect their performance. From being a god the tides would swiftly change as the Leicester fans won’t take it lightly. Booooooo!!!!

Read more @ http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-jamie-vardy-moves-to-arsenal/

Arsenal’s record that shows that the club has never been relegated remains one of the high points of its legacy. When you consider the fact that other big clubs in the footballing ministry either came from lower divisions or have been relegated before then you’d agree with me that it is a big deal indeed. Speaking of how important such a record is for the under fire North Londoners, I can only imagine what would happen if they get demoted.

This would be the best opportunity to have the Daddy of Arsenal booted out; I’m talking about Wenger himself. It is amazing that after all that Arsenal has been through, after all the shame and the years of barrenness, if I may use that word, the managerial board has found no reason to show him the door. Sometimes when I think about it, or let me say I don’t even think about it ‘cause I already know what’s going on. I think Wenger has got something dirty on one or two of the top board members; he might just be blackmailing them.

Read more @ http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-arsenal-gets-relegated-this-season/

Yesterday signaled the beginning of a 30-day period of fasting for Muslims around the globe. For the religious ones, it’s a time to abstain from food and drinkable substances, it is a spiritual exercise; but those who claim to be Muslim use this time to explore themselves in very questionable ways, but that’s a different story altogether; what if this fast lasts for as long as 6 months?

I hear that the fast starts from 6 a.m and goes on for the next 12 hours, I also learnt that those involved eat by 5 a.m – an hour before the fast begins. My question is, can they go on like this for 6 months? Assuredly, I believe that the present faithfuls to this holy indulgence would greatly reduce. Over time, it would no longer be seeing as a period of fasting but of starvation, and only the staunch would keep up.

Read more...http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-muslims-fast-for-6-months-every-year/

See how Nigeria’s number one political party, PDP, got spanked seriously by Tweeps for making allegations regarding President Buhari’s trip to London for treatment. Lmao!

See screenshots of funny tweets from wicked Nigerians @ http://www.jokesmannia.com/wow-these-people-took-pdps-opposition-too-seriously/

I guess animals don’t talk for a reason or if you like a couple of reasons. Studies have shown that they don’t have the structural facility needed for speech and that’s why they can’t speak. Despite knowing this I tend to still ask why they don’t have what it takes to speak. After all, they are animals like us, only that they operate on a different level (as different schools of thought have hinted and countered). So what if animals could talk, using human languages they are exposed to?

Read more at...http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-animals-could-talk/

That would be the beginning of the end of the great audience that the Zeus-inspired Olympics has. As Zeus was a god (albeit a mythical one) celebrities are gods in their own right. And, in fact, these celebrities have an edge over Zeus because people can see and appreciate them. So if famous celebrities decide to do this, I don’t see the Olympics standing a chance at a wider audience.

This would also bring about competition between famous celebrities. Celebrity magazines would no longer concern themselves wholly with insignificant titbits from the celebrity world, at least this would be something worth reporting that actually makes sense. Pardon me but I just don’t fancy the recurring celebrity gists some celebrity magazines and blogs peddle: usually petty and insignificant (except for those who like such ramblings).

read more: http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-famous-celebrities-have-their-own-olympics/

That is almost impossible if you ask me, unless the rendition of the term celebrity changes I don’t really think such a thing is possible. But since our forte is to think the unthinkable, let’s explore our madness. Whoever the celebrity is, their career is as good as over. People fall over one another just to attend birthdays of famous celebrities, so when that is no longer happening I don’t see any hope at all for the artist.

Unarguably, news and gossip blogs like socialspy.ng would be the first to announce the disaster for all the world to know. And considering their increasing number of followers and authentic content, the celebrity’s image is as good as tarnished. Now I think we should make this a bit more interesting by using a Nigerian celebrity as a case study.

Read more @ www.jokesmannia.com

A lady walked into a pet shop, demanding for a
parrot.
The owner: “We have 2 kinds: one repeats
everything you say & the other thinks for itself!”
“I think I’ll like the one that thinks for itself”,
replied the lady.
The owner brought out her choice & told her to
quiz the parrot.
“How do I look?”, asked the lady.
“Like a prostitute!” replied the parrot.
“This parrot is rude: I won’t buy it!”, said the
lady.
“Pls give me a moment!”, replied the owner as he
walked towards the backyard with the parrot.
He dipped the parrot into a bucket full of water &
warned the parrot: “If u are rude to that lady one
more time I will drown u in this bucket!”
When the man came back to the counter he told
the lady: “Now ask the parrot anything you wish
and I assure that he will be polite”
CONVERSATION
Lady: “if I come home @ night with a man,
what’ll you call this man?”
Parrot: “Your husband!”
Lady: “Good! What if I come home with 2 men?”
Parrot: “Your husband & your in-law!
Lady: “Good! Good!! What if I come home with 3
men?”
Parrot: “Your husband, your in-law & your
brother!”
Lady: “Gooood! What if I come home with 4
men?”
The parrot looked back at the owner & said: “Pls
go & drown me; I said it earlier that this woman
is a prostitute!”

From www.jokesmannia.com

It is not news that occasionally celebrities get agitated at one another and sometimes resort to physical confrontation. It is also not news that such an experience is made timeless as they eventually write music about it or engage in something similar in whatever field they are in. Finally, it is also not news that sometimes resolution comes shortly after the war. That said, considering the lengths both agitators went to discredit the other, is reconciliation far-fetched?

Read the rest at http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-linda-ikeji-and-wizkid-reconcile/

...
I’ll definitely be deeply nostalgic if an end is put to this forced servitude. I’ll be reminded of the relief that came as a result of Biafrans surrendering to the Nigerian government which signaled an end to the Civil War. I’ll be nostalgic even though I did not take part in the war neither was I even born at the time. And this feeling would be on behalf of those who are yet to serve their fatherland. You see, apart from the luxury of having to explore a different part of the country, I find no other allurements attached to the NYSC. To my weird mind, it is a mere waste of time and resources. Don’t permit me to explain further below.

Read more at...http://www.jokesmannia.com/what-if-the-nysc-is-scrapped/

Saw this and thought I should share...

How the number of celebrities in our world today would greatly reduce, not because the tax would be too high but simply because some people just don’t fancy the idea of paying tax. They’ve not finished paying the normal tax and then this? Hmmmm. And for those who would still wanna adorn celebrity magazines online and not pay tax, they would have to hide their assets like some politicians in this part of the world (every part actually).

This would give birth to opportunities for corruption. The body committed with the task to collect these monies would also be committed to siphoning their own share. Some celebrity images, sorry, figures would also be knee deep in this: they’d find ways to avoid paying regularly. What if extravagant activities such as celebrity wedding or parties are also taxed individually? The only celebrity images, no dammit, figures I mean, yeah the only celebrity figures who would continue such excesses would be the ones with deep pockets.

Some celebrities would cut down on the way they buy flashy things, hell, even if they do they not gonna broadcast it. It would be all about hiding and seeking: celebrities hiding and the tax collection committee doing the seeking.

And you know, as (my questionable) studies have shown, divorce amongst celebrities appears to be very rampant; now what if they are taxed for getting divorced too? Celebrity wedding would gradually become a one-time thing, not as it is now. Imagine one person getting married like 5 different times in his lifetime. Daang crazy! But that’s the kind of stories that celebrity magazines online love to carry. What can I say…

Source: www.jokesmannia.com