DOES M.I song " SOLDIER " EXPRESS VIEW ON FEMINISM AND MEN IN THE SOCIETY ?

M.I ABAGA is One of the best Hip-hop rapper ever in Nigeria 🇳🇬. His least album "THE GUY" is dope and the artists he featured did an excellent job on dropping their flows with tight lyrical delivery. 💯👌🏿

Lastly, I took time to listen to this very track " soldier ft tomi owo ", he expressed his views on Feminism and Men in our society.

"THEY TELL US BOYS DON'T Cry, BUT THEY DON'T TELL US WHY" that was the hit part in the song ' SOLDIER '

For more details about the lyrics check below 👇👇

*****************************************************

Verse 2: MI Abaga]

Hmm, yеah
They tell us boys don't cry but they don't tell us why

So when tears start to fill up my eyes, I wanna hide

We talk about it like it's a badge of honour, our pride

But guess who is the leading victims of suicide?

It's young men who don't know the way to emote

Could be dealing with stress or his heart could be broken

All this hurdle, it's starts partly when fathering, now
we're fathers, we'd carven them into hard men just starving for hope

And now the world is changing rapidly, happily, I embrace it

But learning how to be a good man is proving evasive

See toxic masculinity in it we all will suffer, but all I know is be tougher to feed and protect my lover

And yeah, It's what I was taught that I must be

And honestly I wanna be better but promise me

That you can show me how I will not punish or tarnish me
It's no laughing matter, no comedy

I'm asking for a [?]

[Verse 3: MI Abaga]

This is for the fathers, the husbands, the soldiers, the workers

The young men trynna to be good to find purpose in a world telling you to be strong or else you're worthless

It hurts that we've brought them to earth just to scratch the surface

I asked ten of my female friends to share their lens

To tell me what's it like to be them, to get a sense

Six of them had been raped and all ten had been assaulted

I halted, I couldn't believe how we are faulted

Nighty five percent of crimes end in loss of lives

How 'bout us?, we the killers, we the cults, the gangs, the cops, the serial murderers, we the ones at night making the world unsafe, and what we need is a son for light

I'm penning this, hoping that when you reminisce, we can start from the genesis, every man should be feminists

Fighting to make the world a better place, I know it's hard, I see you cover your tears but what you gon' do about those scars

****************************************************

Doing some analyses of the song in relation to the verse 2 and 3 part of M.I

Soldier is a response to another societal ill that is been bestowed on the males in the society which has to do with the neglect and emotionless boy which is expected of him to be heartless.

👉This is best captured in the line "they tell us boys don't cry, but they don't tell us why/ so when tears start to fill up my eyes, I wanna hide".

The message here is that's its okay to be vulnerable as a man.

👉Like what Facebook asked me again ?

What's on your mind?

DOES M.I song " SOLDIER " EXPRESS VIEWS ON FEMINISM AND MEN IN THE SOCIETY ?

MY RESPONSE --- yes, there is 100% expression of the song on VIEWS ON FEMINISM AND MEN IN THE SOCIETY.

Below is some proved and Analyses i have made to back up-- M.I song " SOLDIER "

For the sake and more clarification this post or WRITE-UP to my readers i will be using most points from FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi to back them up.

FIRST POINT ANALYSIS -

👉They tell us boys don't cry but they don't tell us why.

The link below show an article i wrote 2019, i will use it to support this post.

https://patrickrealstories./2020/01/01/patrick-personal-view-14-reasons-why-i-still-love-chimamanda-ngozi-adichie/

PROVE 1 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” We do a great disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys.

We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage. We teach boys to be afraid of fear, of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves, because they have to be, in Nigerian-speak—a hard man. “”””


PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)
According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“”””” In secondary school, a boy and a girl go out, both of them teenagers with meager pocket money. Yet the boy is expected to pay the bills, always, to prove his masculinity. (And we wonder why boys are more likely to steal money from their parents.) What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity and money? What if their attitude was not “the boy has to pay,” but rather, “whoever has more should pay.” Of course, because of their historical advantage, it is mostly men who will have more today. But if we start raising children differently, then in fifty years, in a hundred years, boys will no longer have the pressure of proving their masculinity by material means. But by far the worst thing we do to males—by making them feel they have to be hard —is that we leave them with very fragile egos. The harder a man feels compelled to be, the weaker his ego is. “”””

SECOND POINT ANALYSIS-

👉But guess who is the leading victims of suicide?

Supporting M.I using this proves and some point made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE

PROVE 1 (INTERNET/SITE-INTERVIEW)

I will backed it up with a powerful statement made by FEMINIST/WRITER/ CHIMAMANDA NGOZI ADICHIE where she mentioned “”””why men have a higher rate of dying by suicide “”””

For further reading here is the link to convince you.

https://m.guardian.ng/features/how-patriarchy-could-be-spiking-rate-of-suicide-among-men/

https://dailypost.ng/2018/09/12/men-die-suicide-chimamanda-adichie/



Here is her speech:

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi : “””“Both men and women suffer from the illnesses that lead to suicide but it is men that have a much higher rate of dying by suicide.

“Why? Because men are socialized to suppress so many human parts of themselves, men are socialized not to ask for help, men are socialized to be afraid of fear, men are socialized not to show vulnerability.

“From the moment we tell a little boy that ‘boys don’t cry’ or we tell a hurting teenager to ‘man up’ we are creating an adult man who will be cheated of the full range of his emotions. So, while men benefit from patriarchy, they also suffer from it. ”””””


PROVE 2 (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINIST “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

“””“And then we do a much greater disservice to girls, because we raise them to cater to the fragile egos of males. We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man. If you are the breadwinner in your relationship with a man, pretend that you are not, especially in public, otherwise you will emasculate him. But what if we question the premise itself: Why should a woman’s success be a threat to a man? What if we decide to simply dispose of that word—and I don’t know if there is an English word I dislike more than this—emasculation. “”””

THIRD POINT ANALYSIS-

" I'm penning this, hoping that when you reminisce, we can start from the genesis, every man should be feminists "

With M.I supporting men to be feminist in his song " soldier" was a great idea.

This is what he said :

M.I verse 3 -

" I'm penning this, hoping that when you reminisce, we can start from the genesis, every man should be feminists "

PROVE 1 -

I remember vividly about dropping a write-up about how we should train young boys and girls on how to become a feminist in our society.

Link to the post-

https://www.facebook.com/100006710401084/posts/3261174417449540/?app=fbl

The post ----

PATRICK VIEW --- 7 OPINIONS WHY YOUNG BOYS AND GIRLS SHOULD BE A FEMINIST

1. choice of a girl and a boy to choose his or her own beauty and appearances -dress code, clothing and clothing colours

2. young boys and girls should have idea about feminist take on sex education

3. young boys and girls should have the idea about love and likeness

4. young boys and girls should know that feminism is about owning your life in term of culture, tradition, skin colour, religion, social status or nationality

5. young boys and girls should be feminist so that they can have the idea of equal share of the care work / house chores in the house

6. young boys and girls should be feminist so that they have the privilege to widen and diversify their knowledge about role models

7.young boys and girls should stop the idea of body shaming

PROVE 2 -

I wrote an article about myself been a feminist and how i was tagged as one.

I will be using this post to support MI song " Soldier " about what he said

--- " I'm penning this, hoping that when you reminisce, we can start from the genesis, every man should be feminists "

The link -

https://www.facebook.com/100006710401084/posts/3248287525404896/?app=fbl

The post title- A FEMINIST MAN

I get such bad and awkward comment each time I have discussion with them (both men and women), in their own way I was tagged a “FEMINIST MAN” for the following reason or points:

1. My advocating and support for feminist, feminism and gender equality-in terms of equal pay and equal share of the care work / house chores in the house.

2. Choice of a girl and a boy to choose his or her own beauty and appearances -dress code, clothing and clothing colours.


3. My fight against sexist and sexism.

4. The idea that gender roles are nonsense.

5. My idea about how girls should reject the idea of likeability.

6. The idea that marriage is not an accomplishment and it should not be a major focus for girls.

7. Females should reject the act of chivalry

8. feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive(feminism didn’t override femininity but instead an allurement to women identity)



FOURTH POINT ANALYSIS

" The young men trynna to be good to find purpose in a world telling you to be strong or else you're worthless "

The above point where MI said something about how boys are to be strong except they are tagged worthless or weaklings.

The back up is below for further clarification-

PROVE (FROM HER BOOK)

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the Eleventh Suggestion

“”””” We often use biology to explain the privileges that men have, the most common reason being men’s physical superiority. It is of course true that men are in general physically stronger than women. But if we truly depended on biology as the root of social norms, then children would be identified as their mother’s rather than their father’s because when a child is born, the parent we are biologically – and incontrovertibly – certain of is the mother. We assume the father is who the mother says the father is. How many lineages all over the world are not biological, I wonder?
””””

CONCLUSION

Is a good one most of our artiste in the entertainment area climbing up to speed the concept of feminism for people to be aware about it.

The Nigeria artiste are now making sure more empowerment come to the side of women through music and other industry that promote medias.

I happily choose to be that offending feminist man which some individual have tagged me to be.

QUESTIONS FOR MY VIEWERS/FOLLOWERS

1. Does the above analyses go well with the song?

2. Have you listen to the song before?

3. What is your opinion about the post?


👉Readers are free to err their view and to go against my idea, am open for opposition of such post or articles.

Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

Face book pages:

www.facebook.com/patrickwrite.org

www.facebook.com/feminisminnigeriaenvironment

www.facebook.com/patrickstories

Karma, Nature’s most consistent employee

Karma brings consequences without notifications like Facebook or instagram or whatsapp…lol

Kill your conscience, murder happiness, do wickedness and then flee?

Within a seconds karma can destroy some fortune and all will be lost.

This karma doesn’t let go, run to the mountains or the high seas.

Karma watches, Karma sees, Karma’s memory’s not measured in gigabytes.

Does Karma have a place, avenue, street, lose, address, Office? None of those,

How then do we see karma to appease?

Karma’s never forgetting, Karma’s unforgiving

What goes around neither gets away nor goes forgotten? That is karma

Someday, somehow, somewhere, Karma’s going to come at your door knocking.

So karma is real.

Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

University of Benin

www.facebook.com/patrickstories

MEANING–

According to Wikipedia definition of child marriage;

Child marriage is a formal marriage or an informal union entered into by an individual before reaching a certain age, specified by several global organizations such as UNICEF as minors under the age of 18.

CAUSES OF CHILD MARRIAGE

After much conversation with some enlighten individuals in the society where I live I was able to gather some basic causes of child marriage. Here are the lists;

1. Level of education
2. Poverty
3. Women's status in the society

1. LEVEL OF EDUCATION: Most women with no formal education were married before 18, compared to those who had completed higher education. Further education is almost impossible for some girls, who have little choice but to depend on their husbands for the rest of their lives.

2. POVERTY: Poverty is the critical factor contributing to early marriage. Where poverty is acute, a young girl may be regarded as an economic burden and her marriage to a much older man.

3. WOMEN'S STATUS IN SOCIETY: The status of women in society plays a key role in early marriage; women are seen as inferior and they are neglected and despised. A girl is seen as a burden given the fact that she will get married elsewhere and leave her family.

EFFECTS OF CHILD MARRIAGE

The following are the major effects of child marriage:

1. Psychosocial disadvantage
2. Risk of physical and sexual violence
3.Right to education

1. PSYCHOSOCIAL DISADVANTAGE:The loss of adolescence, the forced sexual relations, and the denial of freedom and personal development as a result of early/child marriage have led to psychosocial and emotional consequences. Inadequate socialization is also another part from this child marriage; they have nobody to talk to as they are surrounded by people who endorse their situation. Young girls suffered from traumas as a result of early marriage, premature sex and child bearing.

2. RISK OF PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE: Some of the most heart-breaking stories that I have heard in my life are from child brides who describe the sexual and physical violence they have faced from their husbands and, in some cases, their in-laws. Child brides are often made to leave school, are more likely to experience domestic violence, and are at higher risk of dying from pregnancy and childbirth complications.

3. CHILD MARRIAGE VIOLATES A GIRLS BASIC RIGHTS( RIGHT TO HAVE SEX, RIGHT TO EDUCATION) : Child marriage is a form of violence because it violates a girls basic rights. The right to education is been violated due to child marriage. Lack of education means that young brides often don't know about sex, are ignorant about their bodies and unaware about the mechanics of reproduction.

SOLUTION/PREVENTIVE MEASURE TAKEN TO ERADICATE CHILD MARRIAGES

According to ICRW, This policy brief highlights five evidence-based strategies identified by ICRW to delay or prevent child marriage:

1. Empower girls with information, skills and support networks.

2. Provide economic support and incentives to girls and their families.

3. Educate and rally parents and community members.

4. Enhance girls access to a high-quality education.

5. Encourage supportive laws and policies.

According to UNICEF, Our work covers five key areas:

1. Support for development and participation of adolescent girls.

2.Strengthening legal systems to protect the rights of adolescent girls and boys.

3. Carrying out cutting-edge research to build a robust evidence base for advocacy, policies, and programmes and tracking progress.

4. Strengthening services to help adolescents at risk of, or affected by, child marriage, particularly girls.

5. Raising awareness of the need to invest in and support girls, and shifting the social expectations that stifle their prospects.

I will like to ask a simple question for my fellow readers and viewers.

1. What is your own views and contributions on this articles?

2. Are you aware of existence of early marriage in your area? If so, explain

3. What are your perceptions on girls who marry early?

4. Do these young girls enjoy in this marriage? Elaborate?

5. How does early marriage affect the girl child in your opinion?

6. What in your view is the best way forward to solve this problem?

7. Do parents in any way play a role to this practice of early marriage?

8. Does culture in any way contribute to early marriage?

Please let me know all your reactions, views and insights in the comment box below!

Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

Face book pages:

www.facebook.com/patrickwrite.org

www.facebook.com/feminisminnigeriaenvironment

www.facebook.com/patrickstories

The society( religion and culture) has tempered the idea of likeability of young girls depriving them as a full human.

The society( religion and culture) has deprived young girls as a full woman and making them to accept likeability as a way of life.

Any time I raise these topic of likeability, the eyes of people on me look strange. They seems not to get it,

“why must you say a girl should reject likeability”.

As I carry my readers through these opinion of mine you will understand my stand on the rejection of likeability on the female part thereby rejecting the society integration of such mentality on the young girls in the society.

OPINION 1

SOCIETY PORTRAY A WOMAN SHOULD NOT BE ANGRY BUT PORTRAY AN ATTITUDE OF BEEN LIKED.( wrong ideology)

This ideology is totally wrong because the women are human and we have different temperament so judging by it is totally bad. So a young girl should not express her feelings on something bordering her because she have to present likeability ideology.

Again the society( religion and culture) feel women should not get angry or aggressive so they can be likable by their counterpart in church, organizations and place of work.

A women who is angry or aggressive has the tendency of not getting a good husband. So she has to control her angry so she can be likable in the society.

The society( religion and culture) over the years has made the females to accept likeability as a way of life.

OPINION 2

SOCIETY PORTRAY OF A WOMAN AS A WIFE MATERIAL USING THE IDEOLOGY OF LIKEABILITY (wrong ideology)

Here the society promote the idea of likeability in respect to the females in the society there by telling them to portray the attitude of likeability appearances so they can become a tagged will usually call “WIFE MATERIAL’’

A women who is angry or aggressive has the tendency of not getting a good husband. So she has to control her angry so she can be likable in the society.

With this she started portraying WIFE MATERIAL attitude among individuals so she can be LIKEABLE.

OPINION 3

SOCIETY CHANNELING OF LIKEABILITY TO MODESTY(wrong ideology)

If you notice very well, for her to be likeable she have to be modest in what she does in the society.

Check this out ---

👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
Here is what most evangelical preacher talks about Modesty- ””” A WOMAN SHOULD NOT TALK MORE ABOUT ACHIEVEMENT, SHE SHOULD NOT ACHIEVE MUCH, OR SHOULD NOT OWN MUCH PROPERTY BECAUSE OF THE IDEA OF MODESTY “””

What I understand from the above statement is the fact that woman should be modest in her achievement, anger, appearance, intelligent, career/job pursuit and her establishment as a female.

Again the notion of “LIKEABILITY ” feel women should have modesty so not to get angry or aggressive so they can be likable by their counterpart in church, organizations and place of work.

Achievement, anger, appearance, intelligent, career/job pursuit and establishment as a female should fall under moderate level so she can be liked by individual in the society.

Most individuals advice women to be submissive, not pursue leadership roles and not speak out too much in mixed company.

Here the society in connection with "LIKEABILITY" is narrowing modesty to femininity. Modesty goes to both gender. I guess the society is been biased here.

CONSEQUENCES OF LIKEABILITY ON A YOUNG WOMEN

The society( religion and culture) deprive a young girl as a full human, all she know is about her likeability from the opposite sex.

1. This likeability concept is a cage most sexual abusers use to put women in a position not to call out such abusers, so the women will like to have her likeability stand in the society.

2. Some persons who no longer identify with their religious pasts and belief—are organizing to expose the ways this manner of likeability creates a toxic environment that enables abuser and rapist to thread on.

Even the cultures has integrated the ideas that women should accept likeability in the society, if they need to be liked by people (especially the assaulted) they have to keep quiet about such things.



For example,

A. using the aspect of marriage, a women who is sexually abuse has no say based on the likeability approach used by the society( religion and culture) , so she has to be pure all through so she can get a husband who will marry her as a virgin and she pretends and act likeable and she got in to emotional and psychological thoughts about the sexual assaults and the family of the girl keep it away from her future husband or her husband.

B. keeping her virginity also, here since she is a virgin she uphold that with her life, she have been told by the society( religion and culture) that if she keep it she will find a good HUSBAND. she does every thing to remain in that notion of being LIKEABLE by her opposite sex or same sex. Or she is been tagged as a WIFE MATERIAL.

CONCLUSION

The purpose of this write-up/articles was to let my readers know that preaching or educating a girl child about LIKEABILITY influences her life style in complex ways in terms of their physical, emotion and social behaviour. It is my hope that the society can create a positive paradigm shift of of this concept of LIKEABILITY about women. It’s time to move away from the conventional approach about female likeability and embrace a more appropriate and holistic way toward it.

I have to end this write up with one of my favourite mentor FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi

According to a popular literature book “”” DEAR IJEAWELE OR A FEMINIST MANIFESTO IN FIFTEEN SUGGESTIONS “””

FEMINIST Adichie Chimanmanda Ngozi she says in her book:

From the eight Suggestion

""""""""'''' Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her fullself, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people.

Please do not ever put this pressure on your daughter. We teach girls to be likeable, to benice, to be false. And we do not teach boys the same. This is dangerous. Many sexual predatorshave capitalized on this. Many girls remain silent when abused because they want to be nice.

Many girls spend too much time trying to be ‘nice’ to people who do them harm. Many girlsthink of the ‘feelings’ of those who are hurting them. This is the catastrophic consequence oflikeability. We have a world full of women who are unable to exhale fully because they havefor so long been conditioned to fold themselves into shapes to make themselves likeable. So instead of teaching Chizalum to be likeable, teach her to be honest. And kind.

Tell her that if anything ever makes her uncomfortable, tospeak up, to say it, to shout.Show her that she does not need to be liked by everyone. Tell her that if someone does notlike her, there will be someone else who will. Teach her that she is not merely an object to beliked or disliked, she is also a subject who can like or dislike. """""""""

COMPETING INTERESTS

I declare that I have no financial or personal relationships that may have inappropriately influenced me in writing this article. I write this articles based on my experience with those who have kept that notion that “ A WOMEN MUST HAVE THE IDEA OF LIKEABILITY IN THE SOCIETY "

Readers are free to err their view and to go against my idea, am open for opposition of such ideas.

Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

Facebook pages:

Patrickstoriesventures.com

Feminism in Nigeria Environment- FINE.

Patrick Stories

This made me laugh those days my mum advice me about girls.

I found out almost all the girls in our class, i do touch either by mistake or intentionally. But i found out none was pregnant.

At the time, it was typical of African mothers to shy away from discussing sex with their young daughters or sons. The closest word "touch" was describe as sex. And that was it. So at school, I would avoid girls like a plague based on the content my mum dish out to me that time.

If this how someone get pregnant, definitely i do play games with my sister and i do touch her. Definitely she is bound to get pregnant for me.

Even in assembly back then in school, we do hold ourselves and pray together ,by then the one i hold could have gotten pregnant.

As i grow i find out all were TOTAL BULLSHIT ( Don't let your body touch a girl's, she'll get pregnant)

I can't fathom myself telling my boy child that touching a girl with make her pregnant or my girl child touching a boy will make her pregnant.

Instead parents should give them more of sex education.

***************************************

For a more clearer view --

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_education

Sex education, also known as sexual education, sexuality education or sex ed, is the instruction of issues relating to human sexuality, including emotional relations and responsibilities, human sexual anatomy, sexual activity, sexual reproduction, age of consent, reproductive health, reproductive rights, sexual health, safe sex and birth control. Sex education which includes all of these issues is known as comprehensive sex education, and is often opposed to abstinence-only sex education, which only focuses on sexual abstinence. Sex education may be provided by parents or caregivers or as part at school programs and public health campaigns. In some countries it is known as Relationships and Sexual health education.

***************************************************

Here when we talk about sex education for the kids/children we should focus on --

- the body shape of the boy and the girl

- Area of a boy or a girl that should not be touched

- what a girl should know about ovulation and menstrual cycle.

- how a boy child and a girl child should give each other privacy

- how both gender should respect each other body parts.

With the above stated point, you could see that the idea of touching a girl and she is pregnant is totally bullshit.

QUESTIONS

Do you agree with the articles if not state your reasons?

Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

Face book pages:

www.facebook.com/patrickwrite.org

www.facebook.com/feminisminnigeriaenvironment

www.facebook.com/patrickstories

SUPPORTING Maazi Ogbonnaya Okoro II ON HIS POST "' some Nigeria Male lecturer disgust me a lot "" USING " MY POST --- " ARE YOU GOING TO PAY IN KIND OR CASH "

Link to his own post

https://www.facebook.com/100051719343579/posts/735643998169572/?app=fbl

ARE YOU GOING TO PAY IN KIND OR CASH

The above statement has become a norms in the society we live in.

As i sat down and recall how an ex- IJMB student i taught, pointed and showed me a lecturer who want to have sex with her for grades in a particular course he is handling.

Note IJMB- interim joint matriculation board.
This is an advance level course direct to 200 level.

As she told me her ordeal with the man i became furious at that moment.

Random thinking from no where came to my mind like
👉 Is he not married?

👉What example is he showing to her as a parent?

👉What if he have sex with her and she report the act to the management?

👉What if she leak the audio about her conversation with her?

👉Can't the man be her father in the school and show her directions that will lead her to success in that department?

👉What if this said man is respected person in the church yet indulge in such immoral act?

👉What if he have done that to many girls which we don't know yet?

👉What if he have been in it for long time? For him to ask her about sex for grade( i still believe in that saying "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh)

👉What if the man wife found out about such thing? Cheating?

These are the thought that ran to my mind as she explained further to me. I could not control it.

I have to tell her about it that am already angry with what she told me, i felt like confronting the man.

****************************************************

Here is a past story of mine---

I have a student who did an IJMB programme. I handed PHYSICS 2 with them for a year with them.

Her first day of lectures she collected my phone number and called me and said she enjoyed my lectures but there is a BUT in it.

The BUT is ""She said she don't like my own opinion about science, life and religion""""

All this happened on a chat for almost a year without any one knowing she was my best student friend in that IJMB . Even up till now we talk.

Why because i gave her the leg that she can talk to me and so different from others. She doubted me at first. But at the end she became more close and i enlighten her about life as a student.

When she did exams i gave her the required score i didn't bend any rules like helping her to pass or asking her to pay in kind or cash based on the fact we are close. She was even my sister at that point that i have to give her full access to my phone and my family history.

She didn't for one day ask me about helping her to pass or topping her score or grade.

What she asked was me helping her like teaching her some calculations she find difficult which i did free for her.

We became close to the extent she played a prank on me about telling my mother that am a FREETHINKER and a VEGAN at that point.

All this happened for a year, she comes to my place i offer her what she need and it went all well. When she left the program she told me am so different ,wish i was a Muslim she could have married me. Again my ideology on life is different so we can't understand each other.

Note- the story is not to say am perfect or holy. Am citing an example that lecturers or top official should not just rush in to having se** with someone just to put her in a position or giving them grades.

**************************************************************

Back to the topic---ARE YOU GOING TO PAY IN KIND OR CASH

Let all kick against that manipulative statement. When something is use as a joke always ,you find out the society captured it from joke and turn it to idioms and at last we find ourselves using it as an adage for people so we can buy their conscience.

This is totally wrong because the society is about setting unnecessary standard to some young ladies or gentleman that to get a position they have to use this constructed and manipulative statement - ARE YOU GOING TO PAY IN KIND OR CASH

This is how our young girls now believe that to have se** with this manager or top officials in big company or organization is another way of pulling a stunt to get such managerial positions.

No merit again, gone are the days where most positions where gotten by merit.

It still comes down to married individuals(especially women) also. Most of them sleep to get that top managerial positions. Society caused this using the same manipulative statement- ARE YOU GOING TO PAY IN KIND OR CASH.

These affect more of the female than males because most top organization are owned or managed by males in the society.

This standard they created have become normalize now. It even pushed some young boys to do evil just to make money and impress girls because their fathers no longer allowed them get any woman.

Their fathers used cash or kind to buy away their minds and shower on the young ladies eating their forbidden fruit and these young girls no longer pay attention to any young man who cannot buy her iPhones or expensive stuff for them.

This has increased the rate of sugar daddies in the society where they hangout with their managers in top hotels in the society.

Bear in mind this ladies have future husbands also, but because of the manipulative adage-ARE YOU GOING TO PAY IN KIND OR CASH -used on them ,they forget all this and concentrate on sugar daddies old enough to be their father.

The boys go into crime like fraud just to impress them and get back them again.

The old men who should know better have made it impossible for the younger men to have a woman and have also crashed or broken relationship between these two love birds. They caused the whole thing and fully into the business of side chick.

They will never help young girls for free without expecting se** from young girls who are old enough to be their grandchildren.

When these girls apply for job

1. CEO must demand for se* base on the fact he is the one who decide who he employ.

2. Manager must demand for se** claiming to know the OGA at the top.

3.Even gateman also demand for sex claiming to know the OGA

If a girl can't offer sex she run helter skelter for money just to pay for that course. At the end if she pays, the lecturer still fail them and still demands for sex to top their grade or pass them.

You see them in the work place, you see them in the universities. Se** with grade. They spoilt these young girls and turn around to blame them after sexually exploiting them or money exploitation.

Imagine the emotional or psychological breakdown she will pass through to meet the demands of a man who could be her father because the said man can't control his libido for sex.

CONCLUSION

We should stop the normalisation of this manipulative statement- ARE YOU GOING TO PAY IN KIND OR CASH. It have eaten deep in to the society. And is been used as a means in buying someone conscience for those who fall for it. It even cause harm to this individual in the long run.

👂COMPETING INTERESTS

👉I declare that I have no financial or personal relationships that may have inappropriately influenced me in writing this post. I wrote this based on my conversation with this individual who has an ordeal with the man

2. The issue of identity about the girl is personal. Devoid of any gender sentiments, this WRITE-UP is my personal research conducted and carried out for the purpose of creating awareness about what go on in most universities.

QUESTIONS

1. Do you agree with the articles if not state your reasons?

2.Do you know that most of these individuals who have such experience are been affected psychologically or emotionally ?

Written by:

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

Face book pages:

Patrickstoriesventures.com

Feminism in Nigeria Environment- FINE.

Patrick Stories

Credited to :

1. Those who preach or create awareness and fight such practice.

2. Those who always create avenue for such practice to be expose.

3. Those young girls who decline such approach and went ahead to report such practices to the authority

This write up comes as a result of the post i saw recently on Instagram about a woman who was praying for NIGERIA and unknown figure giving her PVC.

👉Here is the link to the post and the post itself---

Link to the post- https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn09t27gfII/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Post-

👇👇
Right now even God will want you to leave everything you're doing and go collect your PVC. Do I still need to remind you how powerless your prayers are without Faith and how faithless you are without doing the work?

For your prayer to be effective, Faith and work must be on ground.

Some of us have prayed through out the 8years of this administration for things to get better. Yes, that was faith. Now it's time to do the work so that our prayers will start working.

I am not saying you should stop praying oh, but please stand up and go get your PVC. You can still be praying while you're waiting to get it🤗.

God has placed everything we need to create a better Nigeria in our hands and yes, we have all it takes to enact change.

Have you got your PVC?

If not, what are you waiting for?

Let's create this change we seek together.
Now's our chance!

Remember, INEC no dey count prayer points ooo.

Go get your PVC and Vote wisely! 😊

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If you read the above post and the related image to the post about prayer and PVC made by chikaonuu(instagram name) you could notice that he was actually saying the truth.

Am amazed by what this gentleman was able to illustrate using this image and he also backed it up with a nice writeup by saying this -

In his words: "Right now even God will want you to leave everything you're doing and go collect your PVC... For your prayer to be effective, Faith and work must be on ground."

In this write up i will be focusing more on the woman in the image who didn't make some findings but went straight to prayers.

If you check the image very well ,you could notice she was after the following prayer point-

1. GOD END INSECURITY

2. GOD PLEASE HEAL OUR LAND

3. FUEL SCARCITY SHOULD END

4. GOD PLEASE RESTORE PEACE

The shining figure hand in the image can depicted to GOD giving her PVC to vote than just using faith and prayer at this hour of her situation.

Work have to be in place for us to have a new Nigeria.

Sometimes we just have to understand the situation and study it before going in to prayers. Every prayers have a particular notion or purpose.

Rational thinking should be applied in some situations.

This is where the -
THE NOTION BEHIND PRAYERS AND RATIONAL REASONING comes in.

Let get some definitions of these terms -----

PRAYER

According to wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prayer

Prayer is an invocation or act that seeks to activate a rapport with an object of worship through deliberate communication. In the narrow sense, the term refers to an act of supplication or intercession directed towards a deity or a deified ancestor.

RATIONALITY

According to wikipedia

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rationality

Rationality is the quality of being guided by or based on reasons. In this regard, a person acts rationally if they have a good reason for what they do or a belief is rational if it is based on strong evidence. This quality can apply to an ability, as in rational animal, to a psychological process, like reasoning, to mental states, such as beliefs and intentions, or to persons who possess these other forms of rationality.

*****************************************************

👇👇

With the prayer and rationality (rational thinking) definition we are good to go for more explanation.

👇👇

Africa is the perfect example to show that prayers are completely useless in reality for some situation.

Making reference to the post by the said person i was captivated by this few lines

a. God has placed everything we need to create a better Nigeria in our hands and yes, we have all it takes to enact change.

b. Have you got your PVC?

c. If not, what are you waiting for?Let's create this change we seek together.

d. Now's our chance Remember, INEC no dey count prayer points ooo.

e. Go get your PVC and Vote wisely! 😊


Rational thinking with application from critical survey like

A. What is the cause of the situation ?

B. How did we get to this point ?

C. Why is the situation like this ?

D. Do will need to change power ?

E. What has this situation done to fellow Nigerian ?

F. Are our fellow Nigerian happy on the situation in the country

A rational being and also a realist we have to used the above steps to know how to handle such situation by simply getting your PVC and make that change will all planned for.

At least the above analysis from A-F can cover 65% of the occurrence of that situation.

If the above A-F is not proved beyond reasonable doubt then you can start committing the situation to GOD for him to intervene.

Imagine if the woman that was praying effortlessly find out it was actually her own PVC that could count on that day of the election, she herself will know she played her right to vote for who she feels should be the one to change NIGERIA.

But if she didn't do so and still continue with the prayer putting faith and no work to back it up, She could be devastated and say stuff like this in her mind " i did all this with fasting and prayer "

The notion of a prayer should be defined in the following ways-

a. If the situation is extraordinary and is beyond human reasoning. Here extraordinary situation requires extraordinary effort to intervene or to be intervene by the intervener (GOD)

b. If the situation is beyond rational and critical thinking analysis as i stated in A-F above. Therefore extraordinary situation requires extraordinary effort to intervene or to be intervene by the intervener (GOD)

c. If the situation have been confirmed from expert/professional that is beyond their control so we can attribute it to GOD for intervention.

According to the gentle man who posted this,he said something that touched me also ---

""" Some of us have prayed through out the 8years of this administration for things to get better. Yes, that was faith. Now it's time to do the work so that our prayers will start working. """

How do will do that work?

Answer- Effect your prayer by doing this

a. GETTING YOU PVC

b. VOTE YOUR CONSCIOUS

CONCLUSION

This post is directed to " All Nigeria " in general context.

Nigerians sometimes needs Action, dedication, discipline, hard work, commitment, patriotism, good deeds, transparency, right choices, fairness, honest leadership that is corrupt free. These are things that work and uplift a nation, not prayers.

In chikaonuu(Instagram name) word --

"" INEC no dey count prayer points ooo. ""

👂COMPETING INTERESTS

1. I declare that I have no personal attack on religious persons that has inappropriately influenced me in writing this post. I wrote this based on my observations about the high rate in which some individuals do PRAYERS for things that are logical to understand, reasonable and provable if rational thinking is applied.

2. I have no personal attack on any individual who is religious in certain ways that is reading this post in terms of those who indulge in such prayers during such situation.

3. This post is a personal research conducted and carried out for the purpose of disseminating knowledge to most people that the notion of a prayer should be defined before embarking on it.

4. My own opinions were put into consideration. So, by no means, anyone's throat is forced with an identity that am making reference to him or her or neither this post is recruiting people to join any group to go against such persons who indulge in such prayer without proper clarification of the situation.

5. The post is not a political or religion one that may ignite any problem now and also in the future. The post is about a critical analysis of an image and how it relates flour current situation in Nigeria.

QUESTION FOR MY READERS AND VIEWERS

Do you agree with the post if not state your reasons?

Written by

Kogwuonye Patrick Onyeka

Writer/Blogger/Educator/Tutor

Face book pages:

Patrickstoriesventures.com

Feminism in Nigeria Environment- FINE.

Patrick Stories

Credited to :

1. Those who don't judge a situation at first sight but reconsider it by using rational and critical thinking even up to second and third sight(observation)

2. Chikaonuu (Instagram name) who gave me the inspiration using the said image he posted on his platform.

Wow, a lucky man