Stats: 3,190,042 members, 7,939,199 topics. Date: Tuesday, 03 September 2024 at 08:14 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Pearlace's Profile / Pearlace's Posts
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rastamouse: Some of the arguments are as daft as they are funny. If GOD was to spell out every sin in the Bible, where do you think it would have been written? The whole world will of course not have been able to handle such texts. In HIS infinite wisdom, the FATHER of the universe decided to give us the conscience and later the HOLY SPIRIT to guide us into all truth and knowledge to know the difference between right and wrong, even when we are just babies. Sorry bro, God did not kill him for practicing the withdrawal method. Below is d reason why God killed him: Gen 38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. |
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Fomaxcool: @ wesly, drink as u want, smoke as u like but sooner or later u will learn a big lesson on sin. ![]() ![]() @doz asking if Jesus drank wine or the wine been alcoholic...Yes he did with his disciples and that is what we use today also for holy communion. And bible scholars have said that the wine in the days of Jesus contained 40% alcohol, yes it was that much. Let's drop this 'holy art thou' attitude. What Pastor Chris said is not wrong but he did not have to say it afterall we all don't have equal understanding of spiritual things. |
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@ Tpia, thanks but like I explained above I dated my EX for 9years but between those years I was studying in another country where I lived with my new 'best friend' during the same period. So they are different guys and all dis happened in this space of 9 years (2011). I am desperately building a career, and I'm grateful to God for how far he has actually brought me. Prayer, truly, that's a key which I haven't neglected and won't. @efisher, thank you also. I actually have a career and I will be through come this July, so I am not actually dependent or looking too eagerly for marriage. I started dating very early + finished high school very early too and that's y i still have time even tho' I wasted so much, Thank God. |
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December5th, I got a mail from HR. I was being sent on a 5-day course at this hotel in Lekki with twenty nine other staff members. It would start on Monday the 12th through Friday the 16th. We would have the training sessions at the conference hall of the hotel and we were also to stay at the hotel through the duration of the course. I was still planning how I would get the kids over to grandma's and the things I would need to take for the course, when Ladi walked to my desk and said "Looks like we are taking the excellent customer service course together". "Really? that'll be great" I replied. In my mind, I was thinking of all the fun we would have, the gists and all that. My husband said the same thing when I told him I was going for the course with my "work husband". Yes! I told my husband about Ladi and how nice he had been to me. I told him about the flat tire, I told him about the lunch dates, I even told him that my boss calls him my "work husband". He saw that as being funny and also chose to use that phrase to refer to Ladi, the few times we talked about him. I never talked about the birthday treat though and that's because I thought my husband would talk about my phone and that way, I would be able to give him the full gist; but he never noticed and he never asked. I also never talked about the compliments and constant flirting, I didn't know how he would take it, Jimi might not be the jealous type but he is human. Besides, I was enjoying my newly found friendship. The fact that someone "sees" me and acknowledges it, the fact that someone would notice the slightest change in my mood or the littlest things like a change in lipstick or a new hair-do, afterall, I wasn't hurting anybody. Day one at the course was wonderful, the facilitator was awesome and he had a way with words. It's as if God knew I needed that break from the office stress, Ladi was awesome too, he was the heart of the class. He was so on top of his game that the facilitator wanted to know his point of view on almost all the topics that we discussed, I sat next to him and was very proud to be his friend. "I see you going very far in this industry" the facilitator told him as we rounded up day one. The meals were served buffet style and the whole environment was just so peaceful and beautiful, it felt like a vacation. I hung with Ladi for the rest of the evening, we just lounged and gisted for hours. He told me the story of his University girlfriend, how they were madly in love with each other but the girl's parent were against the relationship. "I thought love conquered everything, but in this case, love gave up" he said jokingly. The girl came from a family where no one said NO to daddy, even if it meant giving up on their dreams. Every move for reconciliation ended futile. "Why was he so against the relationship" I asked, "The man said he had a bad feeling about it" Ladi replied. "Just that?" I asked again, "Yes o" was Ladi's response. He said he invested so much in the relationship, especially emotionally and because of the way things ended, he found it difficult getting into any serious relationship. Then he said something that scared me "You know why I liked you right from the first day I met you? You remind me so much of her". I pretended as if I didn't hear that part of what he was saying and changed the subject. The course continued and I was having so much fun. By the 3rd day, it was not about the course anymore, I just wanted the facilitator to get it over with and leave so I could hang out with Ladi. I was getting to know this other part of him and I was liking it. His philosophy about life, his calm approach to things and the way he made me forget my problems and pains. I swore to myself that this was one friend I would keep for life. I remember telling my husband that my "work husband" was filling the gap when he asked if I missed him, he then promised to come over on our last night and we could spend the night together. "There's nothing wrong with your bank paying for a romantic night with my wife, afterall, I am one reason they still have someone as brilliant as you on their staff list, and maybe I'll also get to meet your work husband" my husband said. I was so looking forward to it, a night alone with my husband, no work, no kids, no house chores, it would be like a short honeymoon. Besides, I had missed him so much and would do anything just to be in his arms all night long. I told Ladi and he was also excited to meet my husband. Our facilitator finished two hours earlier than what we had on the time table, I guess because it was the last day of the course and we would be having a photo session. I didn't care about taking pictures or the delicacies they were serving us for lunch, I just wanted to see my Jimi. We had been texting each other all day even while the training was going on. He was really setting the mood for a wonderful evening. I felt so alive, this was the Jimi I met and fell in love with, I was wondering what got into him, but I didn't care, it just felt good to "have him back". He told me he would be there by 7 in the evening and I just couldn't wait. I remember Ladi's comment "I go love o" when he saw my excitement. We sat under a tree and were gisting, Ladi had bought chicken "suya" and orange juice. We were munching and gisting; Ladi was killing me with his jokes, but at the same time I was checking my wrist watch like every fifteen minutes. At 5:30pm, I got a text from my husband "Baby, are you ready for me? I hope you are well rested, cos none of us is sleeping tonite. See you in a bit". I smiled and replied "as your lordship pleases". Ladi noticed the giggling and said "this love wan tin tin, no be small thing o. Imagine, just because your husband is coming today, I can't even get your full attention. God dey o". "Na you sabi, what would you do if you were in my shoes?" was my response and we both laughed. 7:15pm, I tried calling Jimi, but his phone was just ringing. I thought maybe he was getting close and didn't want to burn my credit, at that time, I knew Ladi was talking but I didn't hear a word. All I wanted to see was my husband's Toyota Pathfinder pulling into the parking lot of the hotel. I called him again at 7:45 but he didn't pick up, I was beginning to get scared. Ladi told me not to worry, that maybe he got caught in traffic "is that why he is not picking up?" I asked with a little bit of anger in my voice. "Easy now, you don't wanna be in that mood when Romeo shows up" said Ladi. By 8:30, I couldn't sit again, I was pacing up and down and calling like every two minutes, but still he wasn't picking up. "Isn't there someone else you can call? Like someone at the hospital" Ladi asked. That thought didn't even cross my mind, so I called one of the nurses (I met her at Fiyin's christening, she was really nice and respectful and we exchanged numbers). I called her and she told me my husband was in the theater, he had left the hospital but came back to pick his laptop. That was when a 3 year old kid with bullet wounds was rushed in. The other doctors on duty wanted to do the surgery but my husband said it was no co-incidence that he forgot his laptop. So he opted to do it. I thanked her and hung up, I was really angry. Haba! he could have just called to tell me he would be running late. What mattered to me was the fact that he was coming even if it was in the middle of the night. Ladi promised to stay with me till he came, he suggested we went to my room to watch a movie and kill time. We got to my room and while the movie was playing, all I could think of was my husband, I was hoping my phone would ring and he would be on the other end, telling me he was on his way. By the time the movie ended, it was 11:30, I tried his number again but this time, it was switched off. I just sat there on the bed not sure if I was angry, sad, scared or a perfect blend of all three. Ladi sat on the chair by the TV, he could see that I was hurting and he was trying his best to make me feel better by giving me the different scenarios that would explain why my husband wasn't there yet or why his phone wasn't reachable. At 12:45am, my phone rang and it was Jimi "I'm so sorry darling, something came up" he said, I had gotten so used to that line that I said it along with him. "I don't think I can make it to Lekki again at this time, I'm so sorry I messed the whole thing up. I'll explain better when you get home in the morning and I promise to make it up to you". All I could say was "ok" and Jimi hung up. I couldn't help it, I just broke down in tears. I had been crying all along but I hid it from Ladi, after Jimi's call, I just couldn't hide it anymore. I sobbed hard and Ladi joined me on the bed and held me. He comforted me and kept telling me that everything would be alright, but the more I tried to stop the tears, the more I cried. Ladi wiped my tears with his hand and cried with me, I didn't believe it, I looked at him and saw tears on his face. I was so moved by this show of emotion that, we kissed! I'm not sure who started it but I know I didn't stop him. We went all the way; after which reality dawned on me. I felt so cheap and started crying, I told Ladi to get out of my room and that I never wanted to see or talk to him again. If only I could turn back the hands of time. I'm not a loose woman, I married, a virgin and until that night I had been faithful to my husband and my God. What do I do? How do I tell my husband? I've been acting funny since that day and I haven't been to work, I called my boss and told him I had taken ill and needed time off to get better. Ladi has been calling my phone but I don't want to talk to him. He has sent several text messages telling me how sorry he is and that it wasn't intentional. I'm dying inside, I couldn't even go to church on Sunday. I'm so scared to go to God's presence. I can't look my husband in the face or my children, how I wish this was a dream and I could just wake up. I need someone to help me, I need someone to tell me how to get out of this quagmire. I'm in trouble I saw this on fb and decided to paste it here cos I trust people here to help this woman with kind words of advises that heals someone's soul. http://www.facebook.com/notes/lanre-olagbaju/im-in-trouble/10150453376520003 |
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The last week of October, it must have been a Tuesday, a new guy was added to my unit. He had moved from another bank to join us. He was introduced by my group leader. His name is Ladi, we shook hands and he made a comment that stuck with me all day "I'm pleased to meet you, Waow! I thought beauty died with my mum. I'm sorry but I just had to say it". I blushed and said "thanks but I'm not a fan of flattery"and he replied "trust me, neither am I". Ladi has physical qualities like my husband, tall, dark, handsome and dimpled. What I noticed that day was, each time I looked his way, our eyes met. We closed for the day and I went back home to my misery and loneliness. As usual, Jimi wasn't there, I had called him a couple of times but couldn't reach him. One of the nurses said he was in a meeting and later they said he was in the theater for surgery. I had bought this new top from a friend that just got back from the United kingdom and I wore it the next morning. Jimi was on the phone when I left for work, he glanced and waved. i was going to wait for him to get off the phone, but then I remembered the 3rd Mainland Bridge traffic and decided to leave. I wanted him to comment on my new top and how I combined it with the shoes he bought for me on our wedding anniversary but I had to leave, since he couldn't break the call (it was our General Overseer). I got to work and met Ladi at the car park, he looked at me and said "beauty and a good sense of fashion, hmmmn". I smiled and thanked him for the compliment then he said "has anybody ever told you that blue looks good on you? it brings out your eyes". I told him I needed to run because I was preparing a slideshow for our Monthly Performance Review. I left him at the car park and went to the office, he came in about fifteen minutes later and handed me a nylon bag from one of the eateries close to our bank. "That's breakfast and please don't say no, it will break my heart. Consider it a gift for looking so radiant and beautiful this morning". I wanted to reject it but he insisted. he looked at the photo frame on my desk and asked "Are those your kids?" I answered and said yes. "They are gorgeous, your husband must be a bloke. It'll take two equally beautiful people to have kids like this". I just kept blushing and I said to myself "Thank God he knows I'm married, that should put an end to the flirting and flattery". I realized my husband had spoiled me with sweet words and I was kind hooked. They made me feel good, they made me feel loved and they made me feel appreciated. Jimi could say "I love you" one thousand times a day when we first got married, but now he hardly says it, and even though I know he does, I would still love to hear it. It was a tedious day at work, I had to complete my presentation as well as the slideshow and forward it to my Oga for proof reading. I had worked on this presentation for three days and as I was tidying up, my computer froze, I did everything to fix this but nothing worked. I called my boss to inform him and he flared up, I tried explaining how this wasn't my fault but he wouldn't listen. The presentation was due the following morning and it was already evening, I was scared to unplug the computer since I wasn't sure I had saved what I was doing. I tried calling my husband for help because he is computer savvy, but couldn't get through to him. His phone was switched off, I was almost freaking out when Ladi walked in. He had been at the head office all day, some HR stuff. He walked up to me and asked what the problem was, I told him what happened and how I was about three minutes from freaking out. He told me to relax and sat at my desk; in five miutes, my computer was back on and my presentation was intact. He was able to restart the computer and restore my unsaved job. I was so happy that I gave him a warm hug, "it's no big deal" he said. "Besides, anything to put that angelic smile back on your beautiful face" he added as he walked away. I was just so happy he saved my neck, he could say whatever he liked for all I cared. For the next two weeks, I became good friends with Ladi, we talked about everything. He's some kind of banking wizkid and he helped me out a lot with my job, which made my life easier and my relationship with my boss better. He would ask how my kids were doing, he would ask about my husband, he told me everything about himself, even things I didn't need to know. He's so friendly and easy to talk to, down to earth, funny, fun to be with and very fashionable. His dress sense is just WAOH!. I thanked God for sending me a new friend, at least now I have someone to talk to and share my heart with. Ladi is a good listener and he has a way of talking to you that'll make your problems disappear, even if it's just for the moment. There was this evening I got to the car park and saw that I had a flat tire, I was so confused and helpless; I was already sheeding tears and there came Ladi. As dark as it was, he helped fix the spare tire and offered to drive his car behind me "till I got home safe" (his exact words). Ladi became my work buddy, we went for lunch together, he always had a gift for me every morning, even if it was just a cup of coffee or doughnut. He never runs out of compliments "Nice shoes", "Nice combination", "Love the hair-do", "Lovely shirt, but lovelier 'wearer'". It was as if his ministry was to make me blush everytime, and he was doing a great job. On my birthday (November 17th), Ladi made me feel so special. Jimi travelled to the United States for a seminar, although he promised to make it up when he returned. "So how are we celebrating the queen's birthday?" he asked and I told him I didn't have plans since my husband would be out of the country. "I guess my birthday is on hold until my husband returns" I told him. "Never, he'll have to come back and try to top my version" he said and we both laughed. When I got to work on my birthday, I had this wonderful cake waiting on my desk with a card, Ladi made sure they were delivered at 7am. I was still trying to get over the surprise when Ladi walked in, he hugged me and handed me this beautifully wrapped package. "Open it" he said, I did, and it was the Blackberry phone I had been going on and on about for about a month (I was really hoping Jimi would surprise me with it). I didn't know what to say, "Thanks Ladi, you've been a wonderful friend" I told him and his reply was "You'd be too, if you had the opportunity of being friends with an angel". Ladi took me to a choice Chinese Restaurant in Victoria Island after we closed and we had dinner, it was really fun. Been a while I had a night like that, we talked and talked and talked. Ladi was the comedian in the house and he made me laugh so hard my tummy started to hurt. Then he drove behind me till I got home, this time around his reason was "royalty doesn't go out without entourage". I got home and saw that my husband had called me severally, I was too busy having fun to even hear my phone ring. For the first time I realized I didn't miss my husband, my God! What happened to me? My husband returned and tried to make up for missing my birthday but time didn't permit him, fine! he bought me lots of gifts (some were duplicates of things he had once given me at some point) but he couldn't spare enough time to celebrate with me. I wondered how he didn't notice that I had a new phone, the same phone I had talked to him about, many times and was hoping he would buy for me on my birthday. How could he not notice? I kept enduring at home but was always looking forward to getting to work and talking to Ladi, my work husband (like my boss once called him) |
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The burial came and as dismal as that period was, we survived, God really sustained and upheld us. After the burial, Jimi took over his late dad's hospital as the Medical Director, this new appointment made him very busy. He said he was going to turn the place around and make his dad proud. He would leave home very early and come back in the evening. We missed him in the house but he was trying his best to juggle everything. My job didn't help either, I was coming home late too and we were spending less time together as a family. In June, our parish pastor left the ministry to start his own ministry, he said he was following divine instruction. It was an impromptu thing and the mother church didn't have enough time to get us another pastor. Before I knew what was happening, Jimi became the acting pastor. He has always been strong, hard working and very good at multi tasking but I just had a feeling he was taking on more than he could handle. I remember telling him he was getting overwhelmed by the hospital and that taking the pastoral job would only make things worse, "I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me, don't worry darling, God is my strenght" was his response. As days turned into weeks, we were seeing less and less of him. There was a day Olaloluwa said "My daddy doesn't live here anymore", I told him that daddy didn't go anywhere but has been busy trying to keep grandpa's hospital running and the church likewise. I told him everything would be alright and that very soon, we'd be seeing daddy in the house again. At a point, Olaoluwa lost a tooth but my husband didn't even notice, he was always tired when he got home and all he wanted to do was sleep. All the phone calls to my office during the day and the sweet text messages stopped. The lunch dates stopped and I started driving myself to work and back. There was this Friday on my way back from work that I was mauled by some hoodlums, they took my phone, they took my bag and gave me a dirty slap. I cried all the way home. I called to tell Jimi and he said he'd be with me soon, I felt violated and cried myself to sleep. I had drifted to sleep while waiting for Jimi, he called to tell me something came up but I didn't even hear the landline ring. I woke up in the middle of the night to see that Jimi was not home. I called his cell phone and he told me he had been trying to reach me, there was an emergency at the hospital that required surgery and he just couldn't leave. He promised to make it up to me over the weekend, it would be just the two of us. I looked forward to the weekend, it would be like old times, it would be just myself and my Jimi. The weekend came but Jimi had to attend an urgent meeting for Pastors at our mother church, it took the whole day and that was the end of our romantic weekend getaway. Jimi started missing birthdays and important family dates. Sunday used to be a family time, we would eat out, hang out and just have fun, but the church obligations affected that. It was either a meeting, or a member to visit, or an invitation to minister at a programme. I knew he would have preffered to be with us if he could, but he just had a lot on his plate and it was taking it's toll on me and the kids. Our love life suffered too, Jimi was always tired and spent, it must have been because of his nature to please everyone, my husband hardly says NO to people. He has this saying "Do not withhold good from whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it". In September, I confided in a sister at the church and she advised me to try to spice things up a little bit, so I got this very sexy lingerie, made Jimi's favorite meal, lit romantic candles, dropped the kids off at grandma's and was waiting for a night of my life (like we used to have it), I had called Jimi earlier in the day to inform him of the beautiful surprise waiting at home and he promised to make it home early. I waited till 9:30pm, then my phone rang, it was Jimi and I knew exactly what he was going to say "I'm so sorry sweetheart, something came up. I'll be home as soon as possible" he said "don't worry about it, just be safe" was all I could mutter, I was trying hard to hide how I truly felt, trying to stop the tears from falling. He got home around 11:30, the food was already cold, I was dozing off on the couch, "I'm so sorry, God knows I am, just give me some time, everything will be back to the way it was" he said, as he kissed me on the forehead. I asked if I should warm his food in the microwave and he reminded me of his heartburn issues anytime he ate after 10pm. I gave him water and he asked for some pain killers, which I also gave to him. "Bro Laja had a big fight with his wife and the wife called me as I was about to leave the hospital, so I had to stop by their house. I thought it wouldn't take long but God! was I wrong? It was so bad, I had to just stay and calm them down. I encouraged them in the word and to God be the glory, after all said and done, they reconciled" said Jimi as he took off his shirt. "I'm so tired, but what can a man do? I know this is affecting us as a couple and as a family, but I know God will take care of everything. He will make all things beautiful in His time" he said, as he entered the bathroom. "Amen" I replied and asked if he needed anything, he said no and I got on the bed. I really wanted my husband that night but it's unlike me to make the first move (I'm a very conservative person). I stayed awake hoping he would come to me after taking his bath, he came to bed but when I turned to kind of entice him, he was already sleeping. I got up, looked at myself in the mirror, this was the sexiest thing I ever wore since I got married, but my husband was too busy and too tired to even notice it. Here I was, I had done my hair, I had a manicure, I sprayed some perfume and if anyone had told me some years back, that I could wear what I was wearing that night, I would have said "God forbid". There was my husband, snoring away, I summoned courage, got on the bed and squeezed next to him. I wasn't going to take no for an answer, I drew close and kissed him, he opened his eyes, smiled and said "thanks for being very understanding, you are a good wife and my God will reward you accordingly" then he held me, kissed me on the forehead and went back to sleep. Tears flowed all night, he must have been really tired indeed not to have noticed my agony and pain. The following day, Jimi came to my office and took me for lunch, it had been a while, a long while. I was shocked to see him because he didn't call before coming. It felt good to have him around though, he apologized for not making our romantic date the night before and said he would make it up to me. He said we would take a vacation, just the two of us and recapture the magic. As he was talking, his phone rang and it was a call from the hospital. They needed him for an emergency. I knew the drill so I just gave him a hug and told him to try and get home early, then he left. He came late that night, I believe I was already in bed when he got home, he apologized but at that time I had tuned my mind to accept things they way they had become. I started praying seriously that they send us a new pastor from the mother church, so I could have my husband back, if only on Sundays. Our parish, on the other hand, was hoping they made him the pastor and not just an acting pastor. He was doing a great job and was able to juggle it with his career but somehow he just couldn't fit us (the family) in. |
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I had already prayed to God about Jimi and got the inner peace, but Jimi just wouldn't say anything. With tears in my eyes I told him how long I had waited to hear those words from his mouth. He told me he was waiting for God's time which would be the perfect time and trust me, it couldn't have been more perfect. That's how we started dating. Jimi took care of me, he showered me with gifts, he would send me text messages with beautiful messages, he once sent a bouquet to me at work with a note saying: "It would be wrong of me to say that you are as beautiful as this bouquet, because after it withers, your beauty will still remain. Love you always and forever, Jimi" I officially met his family on Christmas day,year 2005 and they loved me, Jimi is an only child, I remember his dad saying "welcome to the family sweetheart, I'm so happy because now I have a second child, now I have a daughter". Up till now, I love my parents-in-law to death, they are just amazing and they have showered me with so much love and affection. They couldn't have done more for their biological daughter. My mum adores Jimi (my dad passed when I was still a teenager), she calls her "Oko mi". Both families just blended. Spiritually, Jimi helped me, he would explain things from the Bible, he showed me the Pentecostal way. We would meet every Thursday evening and pray together, we prayed about the future, our children (before they were born), our marriage, our home, our children's destinies, even things I thought were trivial; we prayed about everything. I got baptized in the Holy Spirit and I loved the feeling (still do). I knew I had made the right choice, I knew I had been favored by God, I knew He gave me more than I deserved and till today, I'm so grateful. We got married on June 10th 2006 and it was the best day of my life (till I gave birth to my first baby, or so I think). It was a societal wedding, it was just so beautiful and graceful. Jimi made sure that everything was perfect, every detail. Anything I wanted, he provided, anything I complained about, he fixed. It was like a fairy tale wedding and I was glad to be the princess. We went on our honeymoon and my God! Jimi may be a "Spiri-koko' but he sure knows his stuff. He was so good and gentle at the same time, I was almost tempted to ask him if he told me the truth about never having sex before. He was a man in every ramification, he knew me so well, he knew what to tell me, he had a word for every situation, not just a word, the right word. I remember when I had a miscarriage, he was there for me, he was there with me, he cried with me, he encouraged me, he supported me and he shared my pains and burden. He made it so easy for me to heal and recover and I thank God that the second time I became pregnant, it was easier and it went well. We gaved birth to our first child, a boy on August 23rd 2007 and there's no way I can explain the joy of motherhood, no word can capture the true feeling. Motherhood showed me another side of Jimi, he's a great father. He would bathe the baby, carry the baby in the middle of the night and tell me to rest, he changed diapers, he prepared the formula and fed the baby. I almost cried the day I saw Jimi washing the delicates that I had soaked but been too busy to wash, and asked God what I had done to deserve a man like this. Jimi took care of the finances, my good job notwithstanding, he paid all bills. He took care of my mum like his, he even bought her a car. He believed in giving the best to his family and he stopped at nothing to make us happy. I was the envy of my friends and colleagues alike. Jimi would come to my office and take me out for lunch, he would come back in the evening and take me home. He knew how tasking my job was and covered for me, I think he even went grocery shopping once. We had our second child in 2009 and Jimi just got better and better at being both a husband and a father. There was a day I looked at the mirror after Fiyinfolu's birth and felt like I was losing it, my husband looked at me and said the most beautiful thing in the world "you may not look like that girl I met as a youth corper, you have blossomed into this beautiful woman who after 2 kids, still makes me have butterflies in my tummy. You have mellowed with age and that baby, is true beauty", I couldn't hold back the tears because he made me feel so loved, cherished and appreciated. In our home church, Jimi was just phenomenal. He served as a Sunday School teacher and I was a member of the choir. His knowledge of the word and the way he would explain it, endeared him to the leadership of the Church. People wanted to be in his class, the youth church would invite him to their programmes to share the word. There was a time that our Parish Pastor travelled and Jimi was like the acting Pastor until he returned. March 2010, Jimi was ordained a Deacon in the church, I was so proud of him. I remember our General Overseer saying "The annointing on your life is so great, God is taking you places, just keep being steadfast" after he annointed him. December 2010, my father-in-law got so sick and after diagnosis it was discovered that he had Cancer. It was really bad, he started treatment at his own hospital. Because of my father-in-laws connection in the medical field, he had access to the most qualified and highly experienced practitioners, but they couldn't do much, his health had depreciated over the years. As a medical doctor, Jimi knew his dad could be in trouble; but as a believer, he just kept believing that God would heal him. Jimi later decided that he had to be flown abroad for better medical attention, Jimi travelled with him and at first, it looked like he was getting better and plans were underway to get him back home so he could continue his treatment in Nigeria. January 15th 2011, at around 4:30 in the morning, my phone rang and it was Jimi's international number, I knew something was wrong because we talked on the phone till around 1a.m. I picked up and he said "Daddy's gone, there was some kind of complications" and he just broke down. It was hell when my father-in-law passed, tears flowed. We cried, we wept, we griefed, we mourned, he was so nice to me. He filled the vaccum that the death of my biological father created, he was a good man. Jimi really took after him, even professionally. It was a depressing time in our family, Jimi was hit hard but he tried to be a man because of my mother-in-law. He was the only pillar we had, the only shoulder we could cry on so he had to be the man. |
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My name is Rolake. I am a 32 year old mother of two, a boy and a girl. I am a Christian and I am happily married. My husband is a wonderful, loving, caring and great guy, he is also an awesome father to our children, Olaoluwa (4 years old) and Fiyinfolu (two years old). We met at the Lagos camp of the National Youth Service Corp in 2004. It was kind of awkward, I went to get water at the water reservoir behind the halls and as I was trying to climb the stairs; I fell, broke the bucket and wounded my knee. It was so humiliating that I couldn't even get up. I felt someone pull me up and I turned to see who it was, standing in front of me was this tall, dark and handsome dude with a smile that made me lose my voice. I tried saying "thank you" but I just couldn't speak, neither could I take my eyes off him, he was so charming. "My name is Jimi, and I will like to take a look at the cut on your left knee, it's bleeding, don't worry, I'm a doctor" he said. I still couldn't say a word. He knelt down next to me, looked at the wound and told me he would be right back. He came back a couple of minutes later with a first aid kit and cleaned my wound. "So what do we do about your bucket and your bathing water?" he said, I could only manage to smile. "I guess i can fix that too but this has got nothing to do with my professional qualification sha o" he said again as he handed me his bucket of water. "Oops! forgive my manners, I'll help you carry it to your hostel, as far as they'll let me go" he said with a smile and I'm sure I must have said something like "thanks". He helped me to the entrance of the hostel, he couldn't go any further because it was bathing time and the female hostel was off limit. "I guess I'll see you later, and try to keep the plaster dry" he said as he walked away. I was so struck and I just stayed there for like five minutes before getting in the hostel. I got to my room before realizing that I didn't even tell him my name, but I knew I could never forget that face or the smile and hoped to run into him before we left camp, since we only had about four days to go. Later that evening, I attended the NCCF fellowship and stayed behind for a meeting (I was a member of the choir). After the meeting, I heard someone say hi and my heart skipped a beat because I knew the voice, I looked behind me and there was Jimi, all smiles and I saw that he was dimpled (how could I have missed that?). "I just had to check up on my patient, how's the knee doing?" he asked, "we thank God and we thank you" I responded. We sat there for hours and talked. That was when I realized that Jimi already knew me because I used to lead the praise and worship session and he was part of the fellowship. I'm from an Orthodox background and I have always loved the Lord but Jimi is Pentecostal, as a matter of fact, he would have passed as a "Spiri-koko" like we called them back in my University days. He looked nothing like it but you couldn't talk to Jimi for one hour without him sharing about his love for Jesus and how he knew that someday he would serve God full time because he had a "calling" on his life. He was every woman's perfect man, he had everything appropriately proportioned. He's from a well to do family, he's a medical doctor, his dad owned a big hospital, very thoughful and caring, above all, he's a child of God. We left NYSC camp and we remained good friends, I didn't really know if we were dating or not but Jimi was always there. He would pick me up at the bank where I was "serving" and drop me at home. He "served" at a private hospital on the Island and my branch was also on the Island. He was living in Ikoyi and I was staying with my uncle in Surulere, every night he would drop me off at Surulere before heading back to Ikoyi. My nieces (twins) couldn't help but love him, he would buy them ice cream and pastries. He even bought them presents on their birthday, he also helped them with their Maths problems. My uncle started asking what was going on between us and I always told him "he's just my friend". Jimi was such a gentleman, he had the right words and made me feel like a princess. He didn't ask me out but I knew he cared about me, he would tell me how much I meant to him and how God made our paths cross. After youth service, the bank "retained" me and I was so happy when the list came out, I couldn't wait to tell Jimi but for the very first time since I started working at that bank, he didn't show up. I called his phone severally but it was switched off, I got in a Taxi and went home only to meet Jimi and my family with a surprise dinner to celebrate my new job. Jimi knew I was going to get the job because his uncle was an AGM in the bank and had talked to him about me. I know my immediate boss gave a very good report about me but as you also know, that's not always enough to get a job in Nigeria. That night when Jimi was leaving, we were sitting in his car and he said "I've loved you from the first day I saw you leading praises at the NYSC camp. I felt God telling me something but I needed to be doubly sure. Then the incident that brought us together, an opportunity I didn't miss to get to know you. I have studied you prayerfully for almost a year, and I am happy with my results. You are my best friend and you've brought so much joy into my life, everybody in my family tells me how favored I am, to have met you. I just want to know if you feel the same way" . |
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Thanks CC, True, but they are not the only ones here. I hate dating, I prefer to make a very good friend and stick with that one for a very long time. I have met many other guys but I chose to stay with these ones cos there was something unique about them and I thought we could work/walk together. Well, now I probably have to just let go of everything and just face other important areas of my life. Thanks Jenny too ![]() Merry Christmas to you wonderful people, |
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I know we are not married yet but then we used to discuss everything before even as just friends so y the change now? I really don't get it, I feel we should even be more close now. Yeah I do understand you, thanks again for pointing out my selfish part. Truly, no 1 comes before my immediate family either atleast since I am not married yet, so y would I want that from him, hmmmm I get. I really appreciate you taking time out to talk to me like dis, this is really what I need now. Thanks again but it doesn't justify his reasons for not talking to me like before. Also, does it mean we are just better friends?? Are friends not supposed to make better partners? Cos that's what I had always envisaged |
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Thanksss Jenny, we had being living together for a very long time even before dating. We live together but we do not have carnal knowledge of each other, its all understanding and knowing what we both stand to gain eventually. Also, yeah 9yrs was a mistake that's bound never to happen again and I had the time then so did not really mind letting it go like that. |
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Ok the other part now, During this period, I still had my friend here with me who really helped me carry through spiritually, emotionally and academically. He was always there, and at a point started asking me out. I told him I couldn't double date as he is aware that I am still 'entangled' with someone else. He was patient till I decided to go end it in person with my ex. We actually went to Nigeria together, and even before we went home our families knew we were good friends and were expecting us. Anyway, we got to Nigeria and I met his family, he met mine and everyone liked the whole idea of us being together even though we were not yet in a relationship. I explained to my sisters that I had to break up with my ex first and take my time before going into another relationship and they understood but they really liked this new guy so much. His family also liked me very well and they just accepted me as a wife-to-be. Now, we returned to our city to complete our final year and suddenly the whole relationship idea is turning him into something else. Before we went home, we used to be so perfect together, talked about everything, we had only ourselves even tho there are more students now and other friends, we were best friends but now even tho we still live together and do everything together, I noticed that we hardly talk as we used to. He now prefers to talk more to his brother via BB which I did not mind before but now its getting to me because all we have to talk about now is just school work, church, or something someone said but nothing really about ourselves. I spoke to him about it and the new him instead of replying will say let me think about it (i.e discuss it with his brother), after I also told him I did not like the fact that he tells his brother everything and he said him and his brother agreed never to marry any woman that will come between both of them. They are actually six of them but just 2boys (himself and his elder brother). He knows I love and respect my family and their opinions a lot so I do not mind his relationship with his brother but suddenly I feel he has replaced my role with his brother. I asked him what he wants from this relationship and he said right now he has to seek God's face because he did not do that from the beginning. So I told him it will be better for us to break up so he can work on himself and he said he doesn't think we have to break up to achieve that, but since I can't bear it and what if after praying he discovers he his on the wrong path, is it then he will tell me its over? Anyway, he agreed to break up and now we have. I am so angry that we had to waste much time just to arrive at this, He knows I do not keep friends and I find it very hard discussing my issues with people and the only person I'm used to talking to is him and now that we really can't discuss as we should I have resorted to the internet to pour my heart out. I feel like talking actually and not typing as I feel what I'm even typing is not making sense apparently. Pls from the 'little' I have expressed here what do you think my problem is (if I'm the one with the issue) and how can I address it. |
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I decided to post in this section 'cos I've read through most of the sections and I believe the most mature minds are here, so I really need honest + 'non-insultive' opinions here about this situation. I will narrate the story from the beginning, so you can have detailed understanding of the situation and give good advises. Thanks in advance, ![]() I was in a relationship with my ex for about 9years, 3years into the relationship I had to leave the country to further my studies. A year and some months after I returned to Nigeria and had the opportunity to see him again and we actually decided to get married after I complete my studies which by the had not started because I was only in a pre-degree program then. After some months in Nigeria, I left to start all over again in the present country where I reside now. In my 2nd year of study, a new student transferred to my school and been the only black& Nigerian girl in the school then, I helped him settle down and all that. We became very good friends even with my then boyfriend and everything was working out well. Two years later, I started having serious issues with my boyfriend, things were not as they used to be any more. I sustained the relationship by keeping the communication between us going for years and later couldn't bear it anymore but I could not bear to break up with him cos I loved him deeply and really wanted to end up with him. As years passed and I was busy with my academics, my boyfriend was busy building his castles in the air, he dropped out of school, decided he wanted to play football, I advised him to continue with his academics and play football part-time but he said I wanted to change the course of his destiny. He knows the kind of family I come from is one that holds Education in high esteem, I told him I wouldn't be able to marry an un-educated man as the man would not even be able to survive around my family or friends. He turned deaf ears and told me when he eventually succeeds I will be very proud of him. Many years have passed and he is actually still not doing anything till now. Anyways I went home this last summer and we decided to part ways with understanding (even though I still love him ![]() ![]() I do not intend to make this too long, so I'll continue the next part which is actually my challenge later, |
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