ANGELMARVE:
Nigeria!!!! 90% of her youth citizens are criminals, "90% of her police and military are criminals now even the OP that opens this thread sounded like a criminal. "there is no way forward at all.

[size=14pt]........you must be demented[/size]!

ladyteska:
You are very correct.... na when i been see waec questions naim i know say them neva teach me maths....VERY unfair

[size=14pt]....in my secondary school days in form 3, after third term, i had 86/300 aggregate in mathematics.
By the time i was in form 4, i decided i wanted to know maths for myself. I set myself at it.
Practiced, understood the theorems and their applications. I really set out to understand it.
Guess what, i had an "A" without any external help in waec.
Lesson: you can achieve what you set out to![/size]

saintfizzo:

Hahahahahaha..... and 2 straight meals shei?

[size=14pt].....yeah,.... like 2 straight line meals![/size]

saintfizzo:
in a country where graduates can't afford 3 square meals, terrorists feed fat... make all man kukuma become terrorist na..... fools!!!!

[size=14pt]
........just wondering why it's called 3 square meals, and not 3 triangular meals, or 4 square meals![/size]

eddyland:
I have been dating this girl for about a year now and I had made up my mind to settle down with her. I really like her because she is exceptional in all ways and from a good family.

When we started dating, she told me of how she would like to honour our relationship by not having sex before marriage. Although, she told me that she is not a virgin. I accepted because well I am 32 and she is 25 and I am "desperate" to get married.

Some how along the line of our relationship after we had our formal introduction, we got carried away and we agreed to have sex.

It was then and there I noticed that my fiancee had very tiny boobs and her behind is flat. All the while, she has been wearing stuffed bra and butt to accentuate the stuff. I really like this babe, but I am not sure I can stand a girl with small boobs especially. My parents are pressuring me to get married plus we've had our introduction. I don't want to cheat on my wife in marriage

Source: http://www.ladunliadinews.com/2015/05/my-fiancee-used-butt-pads-bra-to.html

[size=14pt].......i don't subscribe to sex before marriage, but admit it can be challenging and is rampant. But what i want to say is that you can check out your fiance/fiancee apparatus without necessarily having sex. Is the guy potent or not, let him get aroused and show his apparatus when aroused to you. Is her boobs/bottom real. Let her take off her bra before him, then her panties too. Let the confirmation be done.
Now these can happen without sex being involved![/size]

byrron:
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/05/grant-amnesty-to-boko-haram-northern-elders-tell-buhari/

[size=14pt].......i thought it was Uwais son that resigned his job here in Nigeria, took his two wives and went to join ISIS. If this is true, then put the mathematics together![/size]

[size=14pt].....as police report N42.2m, dat mean say the actual cash go be about N150m.
Nigeria police no dey carry last![/size]

[size=14pt].........I'm so glad to be reading some intelligent stuff from nairalanders![/size]

LordCenturion:
Guys, see Wat I just got from my fellow jobless dude in Nigeria, can u imagine,why some people will just come up with this thinking people will fall for it easily, still wondering how they got my number, the last time I checked it was lacasera and coke, now it's nnpc, my Question is that,do people still fall for this in this 21st century?

Cuz I think people shouldn't fall for it anymore since it is not new...

[size=14pt]......they rely on the fact that muguns are being born everyday![/size]

natas22:
It's spiritual husband its common with very pretty girls and please that girl trusted you with such info to me its not right you uploading on nairaland.

www.

[size=14pt]......he neva mentioned her name nor details...i don't see anything wrong with mentioning it.
By the way, it's more common than you think![/size]

Texcoco:
Get over yourself OP,the teenager is on her second growth spurt.Heck, by now she is suppose to be taller than her mum to compensate for the eventual curvature of the spine which should stabilize her center of gravity thus could bring her down at par with her mum's height-in adulthood- with anatomical carriage strong enough to anchor the eventually "bootylicious add-ons" Omotola might gift her genotypically or phenotypically in the coming years...

[size=14pt].....hmmm, it is well![/size]

badassProdigy:
Here are 12 habits that, in the interest of romance and privacy, are best kept on the down low...

1. Going to the bathroom. Peeing is fine.
Pooping? Not so much.

2. And while we’re on the subject, the same goes for farting...

3. Plucking ingrown hairs of the pubic variety...

4. Or bleaching/waxing any area where the sun don’t shine...

5. Putting on Spanx. It’s not a graceful process, OK?

6. Examining blackheads or popping pimples in a magnified mirror.

7. For the ladies, removing your ‘stache and/or
stubborn chin hairs.

8. For the gents, scratching your balls...

9. Taking out your Invisalign. Because spit is everywhere.

10. Inserting or removing a tampon.

11. Stepping on the scale. Ain’t nobody need to see that number but you.

12. Picking your nose. Actually it’s best not to do this at all, unless it’s with a tissue. In private.


SO, DO YOU AGREE...?

[size=14pt].....i disagree cos my wife and i do over half of these in each other's presence.
Infact, we sometimes have farting competition! [/size]

Dioxidane:
So I went for a job interview/test today at a manufacturing company and a very hilarious/scary scene played out before me.

I woke up in the morning and my head was banging like a 2 by 2 plywood was hit on it. Even the panadol I took did nothing to relieve me - the headache was dancing 'skelewu' around it.

When I got to the company and after normal security checks for invitations, I went in and saw others that were also invited. I realized that I was the last person to come in 'cos no other person came after me.

I did a head count and we were 20 persons - 13 guys and 7 ladies. And yeah, the 'chicks' were fine like hell.

I wasn't in any mood to 'chyke' any girl because of my headache, so I went on 'lock-up' mode, after all I came for a job test not to scoop girls. Other sharp guys were already in intimated conversations with some of the ladies.

Not too long after I came in, two men came and ushered us into a conference room. 'Damn, this is what I call a 5-star conference room', I thought.

The conference room was so posh and it's air conditioning could freeze ones brains out. The setting of the company was pristine, with everywhere looking so upper class. I never knew there were companies like that in Nigeria apart from oil companies. I even saw an 'ATM plaza' in the company! Imagine! I told myself I was going to get a job in that company whether the devil was comfortable with it or not.

After pep talks and collecting our CV's, the two men began distributing the test questions. There were 30 questions in all and we were to answer them in 1 hour. It was boldly written on it. 'Wow, very organized coy', I thought.

Looking at the questions, I was shocked! I knew the answers to some questions, I forgot the answers to some, I could manipulate some, but there were some I just didn't know!

I raised my head and realized the two men were no more in the conference room and the door was shut. The whole room was silent. I guess the others realized it at that same point, 'cos they began raising their heads and the guys that already had rapports with some of the ladies, in wanting to be 'caring', began asking the ladies if they could answer the questions and that if they didn't know any, they should simply ask.

Moments later, different talks began flying around in whispers: 'Do you know the answer to number 13?' 'I thought it's supposed to be on quantitative analysis.' 'No, it's qualitative analysis.' 'How do convert that value to inches?' 'Jeez, I've forgotten that formular'. 'I think it's height times r square'. 'Are you sure?' 'I can't remember exactly, but it should be something like that.'

I was still on 'lock-up' mode so I didn't talk to anyone. I just concentrated on my test while listening to words flying around, hoping that the answers to the ones I didn't know would drop.

I also wondered why we were left without supervision. 'Or was there a camera in here?', I thought. I looked around and saw a contraption in the ceiling, blinking a red light. It definitely didn't look like a camera!

We've already spent 30minutes. I had answered about 15 questions - the ones I was sure of. I looked around and saw some guys browsing on their phones, obviously checking the answers online. And being 'good guys', they were dishing out answers to some ladies too. 'Damn you PHCN!', I thought. I had already answered the questions I knew. I should have checked the others online and gotten the answers easily. I would have even had the opportunity to confirm the ones I had already answered. The battery in my phone was flat!

The lady sitting beside me was feeding off answers from the guy beside her. I was about asking her if she had answered (or 'obtained' the answer) to question 22 when the two men who issued the test walked in with 4 fierce looking security officers.

'You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, stand up!' One of them barked out. I was shocked! 8 persons were asked to stand up and I was among the 'yous'. And to think I didn't talk to or with anyone and I didn't cheat in any way, I was beginning to get angry.

The next words I heard were a relieve. 'The rest of you, drop your scripts and get out! Your test is over!'



Jeez, so they watching us after all! Some began begging, especially the ladies, but the sight of the fierce officers man-handling one of the guys that wanted to protest their action did something to calm their nerves.

Few minutes later, the conference room was quiet again. One of the men told us we had 15 minutes more and they left almost immediately. We were 6 guys and 2 ladies left. When they left, I looked around and everyone concentrated on his or her work. I was already done with the ones I knew and manipulated the ones I could.

Exactly 15minutes later, the men came and collected our scripts and told us they would get back to us.

I did my best. I pray I scale through, but I learnt a very vital lesson which other job seekers too could learn. I'm not going to mention the lessons. Decipher it yourself.

Lest I forget, try watching the movie 'THE EXAM' if you've not already done so.

Dioxidane

cc: Igwe Lalastica

[size=14pt].......the lesson learnt:
"When you wake up with a terrible headache that hits you bad that you shut your trap,
just remember, it may be God saving you from a trap. So give thanks for all things!"[/size]

pussygotlips:
Why embark on something you are not sure of?



Sorry assess

[size=14pt].....how many things in life can you really be sure of?[/size]

stephenduru:

Warri billionaire, Ayiri Emami,his brother Aje Emami and friends are currently on vacation in Beirut Lebanon.

They are all having the best of fun as the Oil mogul and founder of the 911 Beach and Resort in Delta state splashed a whooping sum of N1.5million on breakfast today.

Pictured below are Ayiri Emami and his crew catching fun at the Four Seasons Hotel in the country.He also shared a pic of the receipt of the breakfast.

Source: http://.com/2015/05/warri-billionaire-ayiri-emami-splashes.html

[size=14pt]......let's check our info to make accurate post. All Ayiri spent was $1044 which when converted to beruit (Lebanon) pounds equals the 1,5m seen on the bill.
All he spent was $1044. Let's be observant & insightful!
[/size]

EgusiSoup:
What is fiancee?

[size=14pt]
....someone incharge of your finances![/size]

[quote author=SHRINE post=33670040]By
A poor man advicing a rich man to

What an irony of life[/quote


[size=14pt]...... 2 Corinthians 6:10 says, " As poor, yet making many rich;"
It's possible for the poor to make another rich. There's an anointing for that![/size]

temitemi1:
The iphone4 Daimond Rose Edition, made with flawless diamonds! The band is adorned with 100 carats diamonds, and the Apple logo is formed with 53 more diamonds! The back section is made from rose gold and the home button features a rare 7.4-carat pink diamond. It costs a whooping $8million!!!

Would you go for this luxury piece if you could afford it?
http://635.gtbank.com/2015/05/the-worlds-10-most-expensive-mobile-phones/

[size=14pt].......yes i would buy it, then employ the chiefs of staff to guard it![/size]

Yustash001:
Yeah yeah...blood is trully thicker than water.....oh I can't believe am FTC for the first time....I dedicate this to all nairalanders.....support me with your likes...

[size=14pt].....may i ask, what is all this noise about being FTC?
It seems totally irresponsible rejoicing over that.
And if i might add, it questions one's own personal goals in life.
Like, "what's your life goal?". Ans: "to make FTC!"
WTF is that?[/size]

FlirtyKaren:
Words fail me

http://www.lailasblog.com/2015/05/see-nasty-photo-guy-posted-to-celebrate.html

[size=14pt]......lovely
..who sat and watched my infant head
...when sitting on my cradle bed
...and tears of sweet affection shed
....m-y m-o-t-h-e-r

Sweet mother i neva go forget you
For the suffer wey you suffer for me o
Sweet mother, ha ha,
Sweet mother, o, l love you[/size]

pwettyolly:


Really? I don't like commenting but I just have to quote you, he should build house for each of them because he own a mansion that he worked for
He is the light if the family did you read that article at all did you see where he said he tried to help or you don't understand everything he wrote up their less I remind you that none of them is entitled to anything except he choose to help which isn't mandatory

[size=14pt].....infact, not just build them houses, but build an estate and hand it over to them!
It wouldn't touch him a bit. He's lacking in wisdom, that's his problem[/size]!

[size=14pt]............people, people, people, don't be too quick to judge his family. I know he owns his money and can do what he wants with it, but check this out https://www.nairaland.com/1525339/pictures-emmanuel-adebayors-mansion-house#19677134
https://www.nairaland.com/2309667/emmanuel-adebayors-fleet-expensive-cars
What is wrong if he builds a house for each family member? Can he or can he not afford it cheaply?
We all need to understand the demands and responsibility of posterity on us when it's in our power to bring positive permanent changes to the lives of others.
Let it not be that this open show is an outburst from a stingy footballer.
I know i might receive some bashings for my expressed view, but in real terms i don't see anything he has done for his family that someone having one percent of what he has, cannot do.
He has done little for them, for from whom much is given, much is expected!
Much has been given him, but what has he actually delivered.
Many of us don't understand the purpose of prosperity, it's not all about you. God doesn't have only you in mind!
If he is the lightbearer of his family, he should let his light really shine, and it must start from his family!
[/size]

Vicjustice:

For those who want to argue the third line:
Bear in mind that a baby is at least 5 times bigger than the hugest man-hood that there is.
Forget about the Nigerian girls who are known to pretend during intercourse, a real woman who is in mood for it would take objects that are way bigger than any man-hood if the area has adequate lubrication.
Such is the amazing nature of women

[size=14pt]......look and learn. Which woman can take this or which baby big like this?
http://www.break.com/video/ugc/biggest-penis-video-the-man-with-the-worlds-biggest-penis-699415
[/size]

Vicjustice:

I didn't say "every girl", i said any "normal" girl.
By the way, i can confidently say every girl because, a baby is 10 times bigger than the hugest man-hood that there is.
Forget about the Nigerian girls who are known to pretend during intercourse, a real woman who is in mood for it would take objects that are way bigger than any man-hood if the area has adequate lubrication.
Such is the amazing nature of women

[size=14pt].....so na inadequate lubrication be the problem when women dey scream during delivery abi?
Anyway, for your information and enlightenment, there are man-hood bigger than even a two year old child.
See for yourself:
http://www.break.com/video/ugc/biggest-penis-video-the-man-with-the-worlds-biggest-penis-699415[/size]

Vicjustice:
No matter how big a ship is, a tiny sailor can maneuvre it around.
No matter how jumble an aircraft is, with hundreds of passengers, a tiny pilot can fly it in the sky.
No matter how enormous in size a man is, a normal woman would take him (in bed) without a problem

[size=14pt].....i no agree that last one. Who no go, no know![/size]

Twaci:
Love is all about sacrifice

[size=14pt].......sacrifice must carry returns. Any sacrifice that delivers no returns is nonsense.
No one sacrifices for nothing. Sacrificial love is not aimless or an end, it has a predefined goal.
Or have you seen anyone carrying a sacrifice who did not have a pending issue?
Even the sacrifice of Jesus our Lord had very specific goals and aims.
So when you say love is all about sacrifice, it's incomplete.
Love is all about what the sacrifice will deliver for you.[/size]

Twaci:
Okay, this just happened in St. Michaels, Aba. I was just jejely on my own, asking the phone-engineer why on earth he charged N7500 for my phone (na just screen probelm fa!), when a very beautiful young girl ran out from a building close to the one I was in and started calling for Keke. I didn't really pay her any attention until a guy ran out from the same building calling her name.

He walked close to her and started pleading with her in Igbo, asking her to come back with him. She told him to let her be but then he held her arm and continued begging. Next thing we knew, she slapped him and pulled her arm from his grip.

Now the guys around me (including the yeye theif of a phone-eng.) shouted and started ranting about how stupid the girl was and how if it was them in the guy's situation, they would have beaten the babe black and blue.

But then the guy held her close and kissed her. I could feel the aura of shock around me. The babe started crying, broke away from the kiss and allowed the guy take her back inside.

I almost started clapping but then the awareness of the haters around me stopped me. So I decided to bring this here.

If u were in the guy's shoes, what would u do? If your babe hits u (in public or private) would u hit her back? How far can she push u to get that reaction?

Opinions pls.

[size=14pt].........so fortunate a girl. She has found the secret of making the guy kiss her no matter the situation. [/size]

Whizzcute:
The dancehall and reggae singer posted this picture on instagram some few days back..

This Music industry is really paying off!!

[size=14pt]......petrolking, abi Wetin be your name, you no get sense!
Have u seen 2face show off like this? Do you know why? It's becos he has faced robbers before.
Don't worry, you will soon get sense, mumu!
Even among nairalanders, there are "special" members who are here to scout.
Abi you guys think all those muscle bodyguards you guys carry about are bullet proof?
[/size]

nairawallcom:
MOST OF THEM ARE LIKE THIS AND YOU JUST WONDER ...
PLS ANSWER THE QUESTION

[size=14pt]......he should be sent to sambisa police station[/size].

MrCork:



.. Beverly..,may I remind u that I hav fuk so many babes includin yor woman.. And may I all so remind u that I drive £28,000 (cash) range rover spot and the last time I checked...i don't see any female sayn no to a guy who drive £28000 (cssh) range rover spot.

...wot u need to be worrying about is:..althoughit may take u 15yrs but Can u aford it?? (no ofeensce)

[size=14pt]......kai, nairaland is a real market where every Tom, Jick & Harry come to start blurting out bull.
Tis a real pity!
* shaking his head sadly*[/size]

datedoboi:


Jesus… I don enter
Hope it has cure?

[size=14pt].........my friend beta talk intelligently. Do you think "Jesus" you just blurted out is an exclamation?
When the discharge turns to black, you will hala chisos then. Who gives a hoot whether you released in her or not? Mumu![/size]

greatgod2012:




i really didn't ask, but i'm a great giver too. She knows i give a lot but what humbled me is doing such at such a very tender age. The action just humbled me!

[size=14pt].........hmmm, hope you don't come home one day to find she has given out the teevee, generator, home theater, dining table, parlour settee, your clothes, your jewelry, the range rover sport, and the bentley. Then later you discover where you were once a landlady, you're are now a tenant, cos she gave out the house to one of your tenants[/size].