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After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags - Romance (29) - Nairaland

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Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Qualer: 8:10am On Jun 25, 2021
rosalieene:

Thank you cheesy
I await the bottle of wine.


without the garden? grin
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Qualer: 8:11am On Jun 25, 2021
K9blunt:


I am doing in spite of the country's situation my brother.... I hope you're coping fine?

I am still here o... Just tired of most people's BS. grin

good to know you're doing fine!

we stand for this side o... but not gidigba!! grin

what of the k9s? cool

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by K9blunt(f): 9:03am On Jun 25, 2021
Qualer:


good to know you're doing fine!

we stand for this side o... but not gidigba!! grin

what of the k9s? cool
Cool cool

My k9 is doing great! grin
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Chinny024(f): 2:54pm On Jun 25, 2021
What do you know about God if I may ask?.

Please,leave him and Catholic for us.
Its never too late for you..You can meet and click to a church owner if you desires.Don't murder him for us because of his Faith. Continue your mummy G.O and Daddy GO up and down..
By the way,fix a date for us to have a Bible quiz and let's know who is more saved between me and you.
I am a Catholic.. A proud one for that matter.
.

2 Likes

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by kpakpankolo: 4:28pm On Jun 25, 2021
Eduboy1990:
Get what she is saying born again child of God is different from normal Christian or church goers so try to understand
so all the Catholic menbers acros the globe are churhe goers? And she cannot be a born again in Catholic?

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by chikasnight: 6:34pm On Jun 25, 2021
It’s a pity when I see people link salvation to a church...even when the Bible said that those who don’t know the law i.e non Christians will all be saved if they obey the law unknowingly...
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by goldmatrix(m): 9:44pm On Jun 25, 2021
So Jusus Christ now lives in your Pentecostal church? Idiat..
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by iKON11(m): 1:33am On Jun 26, 2021
Oh you mean him being a Catholic, he's not a born again and saved yet?. Young lady I think your problem is with the church he attends not his lukewarm behavior when it comes to spirituality or whatever
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by BigIyanga: 1:47am On Jun 26, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
Hypocritical fanatic fighting over imported religion.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MrMacinterchi1: 6:16pm On Jun 26, 2021
ejieddy:
My dear sister in Christ,

Thank God for your honesty. Thank God you're now a disciple of Jesus. Of course you know there's a big difference in being "Church goer" (what we call 'Christian' nowadays) and being a disciple of Jesus. From your salvation story, I see that you understand what it means to be saved. Thank God for that. Don't be discouraged by the many posts of condemnation you see here, it's normal for people who don't know Christ to do this. Next time, receiving advice from Nairaland may not be the best option. If you're in a discipleship relationship, speak to your discipler about issues. Your discipler should be a mature believer actively following Jesus and preferably a couple.

About your issue, the first matter is that you didn't pray about it at first like you said. So tell him you people need to take time to pray separately to seek God's face. It will be difficult for him to accept because emotions are involved, but it's better to hear from God properly before you take this very important step. I hope you know as a disciple, divorce is not an option. So if you will live forever with him, three months time off to pray genuinely shouldn't hurt. During my time, it was more like 7 months after I had proposed. I'm getting married this Saturday after a long time. It wasn't easy, but it's worth it. I see God's mercy and faithfulness all round and I know it will translate into marriage itself.

Secondly, are you people attending any intending couples counseling class? Marriage is not about how you feel or about sex. It's about the purpose of God for you both. How well are you seeking God for this purpose? I can recommend a class for believers for you. It holds online if you're outside Lagos and onsite in Lagos. You need to know more about marriage from God's perspective. I also hope sex hasn't been involved in your relationship. That's a perfect ground for separation for now.

Lastly, even if a catholic can actually be a believer (because it's not the denomination you belong that defines your Christianity, it's following Jesus), I want you to know that you are right in the thoughts about Catholicism. The worship of 'Mary' is idolatry. Don't feel isolated or dejected by people abusing you and claiming 'one God we are worshipping'. We aren't worshipping one God. Not withstanding, God can strategically position his disciple in a catholic church or even some 'worse' churches for the purpose of impact and transformation. But anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus as Savior, Lord and God is condemned already. John 3:18. Therefore, if your fiancé is of this disposition, please don't be unequally yoked. You'll regret it for life.

Apart from these, what other red flags have you noticed?

God bless you sister and I hope you follow the leadings of the Holy Spirit.

Unequally yoked indeed. SMH.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MrMacinterchi1: 7:56pm On Jun 26, 2021
RuddyFusion:


You're right, but praying to Mary or asking for her help from Angels is not one of the teachings that a true Christian should follow. Catholics i'm sorry don't know what they are doing......
shebi your pastor, a mare mortal, is qualified to pray for you?
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by RuddyFusion(m): 8:44pm On Jun 26, 2021
MrMacinterchi1:

shebi your pastor, a mare mortal, is qualified to pray for you?

There's a difference between praying for someone and praying TO someone.

When the Lord was on earth HE prayed for his disciples as clearly written in the scriptures.

A man of God can pray for his subjects but I can't ask dead ST Peter or Paul or Elijah to pray for me or pray to them to help me ....that's wrong and unscriptural...

I can't also pray to or ask the Angels be it Michael or Gabriel to pray for me.....

We only pray to GOD through HIS Son Jesus Christ..anything else is wrong and idolatry at play.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MrMacinterchi1: 10:16pm On Jun 26, 2021
RuddyFusion:


There's a difference between praying for someone and praying TO someone.

When the Lord was on earth HE prayed for his disciples as clearly written in the scriptures.

A man of God can pray for his subjects but I can't ask dead ST Peter or Paul or Elijah to pray for me or pray to them to help me ....that's wrong and unscriptural...

I can't also pray to or ask the Angels be it Michael or Gabriel to pray for me.....

We only pray to GOD through HIS Son Jesus Christ..anything else is wrong and idolatry at play.
LOL. But you asked you pastor to pray to God on your behalf. It's no different from what the Catholics are doing, whether they are praying through Mary or the saints or the Angles to God. All prayers are directly directed to God, through those who pray for us.

Why didn't you pray directly to God as you said ? Why go to your pastor or someone you felt to have an upper ground to assist or intercede on your behalf for your prayers to be answered?

Your explanation is as simple as it is, but you have failed to even understand it.
You're no difference Sire.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by RuddyFusion(m): 2:40am On Jun 27, 2021
MrMacinterchi1:

LOL. But you asked you pastor to pray to God on your behalf. It's no different from what the Catholics are doing, whether they are praying through Mary or the saints or the Angles to God. All prayers are directly directed to God, through those who pray for us.

Why didn't you pray directly to God as you said ? Why go to your pastor or someone you felt to have an upper ground to assist or intercede on your behalf for your prayers to be answered?

Your explanation is as simple as it is, but you have failed to even understand it.
You're no difference Sire.

You can't ASK Mary or the saints that are long gone to pray to God for you, You can't ask the Angels to Pray to God for you.......

Asking my pastor, evangelist, prophet, or any man of God still here on earth to pray to God for me is a whole world of difference between asking the dead saints or Angels to pray for me.....

When my pastor or teacher is gone, I can't kneel down somewhere and start praying with his name, asking him ( wherever he may be ) to now pray for me. How can I ask the dead to pray for me? when I have direct access to the Father through HIS Son and the Holy Spirit?

Where is it written in the scriptures that we should ask the dead saints or angels to pray to God for us or help us? Where?


We pray to God through his Son Jesus Christ, We pray to the Son we can't ask dead saints or angels or Mary to pray to God for us.

If you can point to the scriptures where we are ask to pray to ANGELS or ask them to help us ask God , then good.

I'm done replying to this.

Christ Jesus, the Living Jesus is our only intermidiary with God, HIS IS THERE, we don't need to Ask Paul, Peter, Moses, Micheal, Gabriel, Mary or anyone else to help us reach GOD.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by IDERAWOLE(m): 9:00am On Jun 27, 2021
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

Good day poster.

There's no problem in your situation. It's either you experienced something unique/different or there's nothing after your conversion.

If there is, you have little praying and thinking to do. The Holy Spirit which you now relate with is already giving you the red flag.

Your parents joy is not your joy in your marriage, it's the other way round.

Your partner will show up when you surrender to the choice of God.

It's a new life that you have now.

There's no carry over in relationship. Even he gets saved now, it's not a proof that he's your husband.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MrMacinterchi1: 10:54am On Jun 27, 2021
RuddyFusion:


You can't ASK Mary or the saints that are long gone to pray to God for you, You can't ask the Angels to Pray to God for you.......

Asking my pastor, evangelist, prophet, or any man of God still here on earth to pray to God for me is a whole world of difference between asking the dead saints or Angels to pray for me.....

When my pastor or teacher is gone, I can't kneel down somewhere and start praying with his name, asking him ( wherever he may be ) to now pray for me. How can I ask the dead to pray for me? when I have direct access to the Father through HIS Son and the Holy Spirit?

Where is it written in the scriptures that we should ask the dead saints or angels to pray to God for us or help us? Where?


We pray to God through his Son Jesus Christ, We pray to the Son we can't ask dead saints or angels or Mary to pray to God for us.

If you can point to the scriptures where we are ask to pray to ANGELS or ask them to help us ask God , then good.

I'm done replying to this.

Christ Jesus, the Living Jesus is our only intermidiary with God, HIS IS THERE, we don't need to Ask Paul, Peter, Moses, Micheal, Gabriel, Mary or anyone else to help us reach GOD.

Oh.. let's get this straight..

you can't ask those who have lived on this Earth, most of them were even with Jesus during his ministry on Earth, and are found worthy by God to be with him in his palace to pray/intercede to God for you?
but you can ask that same thing to your pastor a mortal with flesh and blood who's not even sure of his destination tomorrow to pray for you because your mind is telling you that it's a total different thing?

Right?
if yes , then
That's hypocrisy. Because the only difference there is The former is dead (and somewhere considered holy) and latter still alive (and still in a place full of unholy activities and evil acts which they are prone to).

And , to think that your living pastor or anyone in that category is better or in a better position to speak for you than the saints and angels , even the mother of Jesus is illogical and pure madness.

The dead saints and angels , even the mother of Jesus are 1million times better than all your living pastor or anyone in that category put together.

Get this right,
Catholics don't pray to those people that are giving you headache. The only person all the prayers are directed to is God , through many channels which Jesus is the Head of .

People mention God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob in their prayers for a reason. Why did they have to mention it if they are irrelevant? they should have mentioned only God and continue with their prayers nah . You yourself must have used this somehow.
Try to understand this, and it would do u good.

The reason why you don't have the confidence and courage to pray through your Dead pastors or anyone in that category is because you yourself are not sure where they are after they had died, if that's clear to you - You would have seen yourself speaking from two sides of your mouth.


Who even need the replies, it's more like a comedy skit , no offense. I'm just concerned for people like the op who might get swerve with your comments and replies.
It's your kind that has brainwashed the op and put her in this state.


Happy � Sunday.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by ThothHermes: 11:11am On Jun 27, 2021
mugnmuffin:


First, I want to apologize for the statement insinuating that Catholic Christians are less Christian compared to Pentecostals. That was not meant to be a generalization. The reason why faith is my principal concern is because, as a Christian, there are certain ethics and codes of conduct a person adopts and practices that guide their actions and decisions. It is the crux of the matter for me.

Many of the comments are asking for elaboration especially with regards to other aspects besides spirituality. Some of the red flags in terms of his attitude and behavior that give me cause for concern are how he relates with ladies; I found that he cheated on me a couple of times. Some of my friends who are married assure me that it is nothing to worry about because “men will always be men”. However, I feel like overlooking that means ‘settling’. Also, he tends to act like we’re competing for career success. I’m a banker and he works with a company and is well paid. From comments he makes when I make attempts to pursue growth, like take courses or attend conferences to network, his response shows that he thinks it’s a waste of time and resources. I don’t always expect him to give me financial support, even if encouragement. But he feels I should be content with my current status. It scares me that he may staunch my progress after marriage.
I’m no saint myself, but I know marriage is a lifetime affair and just because I didn’t look before I leaped into the relationship doesn’t mean I shouldn’t at this point try to make amends.
Run now while you still can.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by xammax(m): 11:41am On Jul 01, 2021
mac04:


Are Catholic not Christian's.The division we cause within the body of Christ is better imagined!.

Hi there, saw your email. Any thing you want to discuss?
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by KristaPretty(f): 4:34pm On Jul 08, 2021
The major problem in this part of the world has always been religion. Like I find this really upsetting.

My ability to love and want to husband you is all dependent on your attitude/character and morals. If these go well with me, if you like be an atheist or an ogun worshipper or believe in whatever you like - I do not care.

A lot of people who claim to be religious are too evil, kai, evil minded - if only you could see the heart of man.

I have friends who are Muslims, Christians, atheists, Buddhists and Hindus, sometimes I follow them to their temples/places of worship to understand and learn and on other days I just try to understand from the atheist's point of view.

The only reason why I keep them as friends are because they have good and positive spirits and good attitudes. Other things doesn't concern me. A lot of the so-called religious people cheat on their spouses, are killers and rapists as well as commit all forms of atrocities.

This is how I will see my marriage, wherever or whomever you decide to serve is not my business provided we are in love, we are happy and understand each other perfectly well.

Now when it comes to church matters, I do not judge or condemn the way you are foolishly condemning the Catholic Church. What makes you think yours is perfect Abeg leave that brother and get married to your choir master or your church member instead of deceiving him or forcing yourself in the marriage.

Las las na God go judge who go go heaven and hefaya

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Falconx47: 2:59pm On Jul 10, 2021
mugnmuffin:


First, I want to apologize for the statement insinuating that Catholic Christians are less Christian compared to Pentecostals. That was not meant to be a generalization. The reason why faith is my principal concern is because, as a Christian, there are certain ethics and codes of conduct a person adopts and practices that guide their actions and decisions. It is the crux of the matter for me.

Many of the comments are asking for elaboration especially with regards to other aspects besides spirituality. Some of the red flags in terms of his attitude and behavior that give me cause for concern are how he relates with ladies; I found that he cheated on me a couple of times. Some of my friends who are married assure me that it is nothing to worry about because “men will always be men”. However, I feel like overlooking that means ‘settling’. Also, he tends to act like we’re competing for career success. I’m a banker and he works with a company and is well paid. From comments he makes when I make attempts to pursue growth, like take courses or attend conferences to network, his response shows that he thinks it’s a waste of time and resources. I don’t always expect him to give me financial support, even if encouragement. But he feels I should be content with my current status. It scares me that he may staunch my progress after marriage.
I’m no saint myself, but I know marriage is a lifetime affair and just because I didn’t look before I leaped into the relationship doesn’t mean I shouldn’t at this point try to make amends.

So how is it that you didn't mention any of these in the original post? You have said the truth on the original post, are you now bringing these points because of criticisms from people, which you asked for? You should really move on, ideological differences are irreconcilable in marriage, don't make both yourselves miserable.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Madrededios(f): 3:05am On Nov 12, 2022
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...

Hmm, @Op did you later marry him?
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by JONSYN7154: 5:19am On Nov 12, 2022
mugnmuffin:
Dear Nairalanders,
I have an issue that has been on my mind for weeks now. My fiancé and I have been dating for over three years. I love him and he loves me too. We are physically attracted to each other. We’re both catholic but since I graduated, during my service year I gave my life to Christ, got saved and left the Catholic Church. So I’ve been a Pentecostal Christian since then. He on the other hand is still catholic. I subtly try to nudge him to consider getting saved, i.e acknowledging Christ as lord and savior and becoming born again but he is content with his laidback Christian life.

Earlier this year, he asked to meet my parents and I let him. My parents like him especially because my younger sis is married and they have been waiting for me too. They’re glad I’ve someone. However, after the introduction,I regret it. I’m now certain that he’s not the one. I think about my spiritual life and how lukewarm he is about the things of God, I think about kids and how we’ll raise the, with such differing views about God and I’m discouraged. I feel like I’m settling because he checks all the boxes on the checklist of physical attributes. Another mistake I made is, I didn’t pray about this decision and that worries me because anything that involves him,I just act with pausing to ask God, but I always ask God about other aspects of my life. So it’s like my associating with him is a minus for my spiritual life and that’s a huge cause for concern.

At this point, I want to tell my parents I am not convinced it’s him but I’m afraid of the disappointment this will cause. *sigh* I’ll appreciate your thoughts, comments, criticisms...
Are you saying because he's a Catholic he's not save?

Why are you people so STUPID? God can meet/save anybody anywhere you are.
Stop using Church as a yardstick.

JUST TELL US YOU'VE SEEN SOMEONE ELSE AND YO WANT TO USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE.

For your information I attend Pentecostal Church.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by wirinet(m): 9:10am On Nov 12, 2022
PrimeWatermark:
Hehehehehehehe
Is that all?

Don't worry, you'll soon jam a wolf in sheep's clothing. Then you'll know how far.

It's not even as if the man is a traditionalist, atheist or pagan.
Creating a problem where there is none. Let them be decieving you with 'Do not be unequally yoked'.

Religion shaa

I am an atheist, my wife is a pentecostal Christian and have been happily married for 15 years. So what's your problem?

There are many many atheists or non religious people happily married to Christians, likewise many Muslims happily married to Christians.
In the reverse, there are many Christians marriages from the same denomination that ended up in unhappy marriages - physical abuse, neglect and infidelity.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Tradepunter2: 2:24pm On Nov 12, 2022
Hahahah the Catholic church under the Pope as the head directed the Killing of over 100 million christians....

Study what they called the inquisition, which dark ages in medieval times.....

Why did you think Martin Luther a top member of the Catholic church broke out and created Protestant

The beast is the Catholic church....

They allowed the ottoman invasion of Balkans to eradicate the orthodox Christian because they refused to take direction from the Vatican....
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by Konjiboi: 4:40pm On Nov 12, 2022
Fear what people will say and marry him and suffer for the rest of your life

OR

Cancel the marriage and suffer temporal scolding from people and your parents and save yourself from a lifetime of wahala

A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by okoroemeka(m): 5:00pm On Nov 12, 2022
Bola146:
I don't really get your points. Which God? Is he worshipping something else?! Seriously I don't get it. Maybe you should ask yourself what is causing the confusion sad
the confusionist is the pastor giving her visions and nightmarish stories about the guy,if a woman can come out to type such things about the man she is supposed to love,it shows a toxic and superstitious mindset,I will not want to get married and be trapped in such suffocating marriage,,the guy may even be the one seeing the red flags in you and pulling away smartly.

1 Like

Re: After Introduction, I’m Seeing Too Many Red Flags by MacFerdinand(m): 12:50am On Nov 15, 2022
JONSYN7154:
Are you saying because he's a Catholic he's not save?

Why are you people so STUPID? God can meet/save anybody anywhere you are.
Stop using Church as a yardstick.

JUST TELL US YOU'VE SEEN SOMEONE ELSE AND YO WANT TO USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE.

For your information I attend Pentecostal Church.

grin shocked grin

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