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Staying With Your Mother Inlaw - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by SonofGod231: 5:11pm On Aug 06, 2021
house10studio:
who ask u? if u not gonna give advice stay one side.

this is a childish act
Oga,Go take Irish Iced Tea.It will help place you in a better mood.Nobody is above correction,I can also be corrected likewise you.Nonsense.
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by almarthins(m): 5:12pm On Aug 06, 2021
prealjewel1993:
Good evening everyone
Please is it advisable to stay in the same company with your mother and wife
Here is the situation
I have a house , three flat , my mother stays in one of the flat
Me, i will getting married soon , some of my friends said i should go rent an apartment that i should not stay in the same company with my mother and my wife
Please i need your advice

Ur wife and ur mother will be locked in a battle of supremacy. Fear woman!

It now depend on ur wife. If u let her loose she go scatter ground. Tell her where the bandry ends.

My friend once advice me to go and get a house too, thank God I didn't marry the lady. She and my mama for enter one shokoto. Fear woman!

All that lovee dovee go clear when u put her for house. Your eyes go come open like Adam and eve.
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by descarado: 5:12pm On Aug 06, 2021
simplesearch:
Seems the whites are better at accommodating people than we blacks.
You definitely don't know what you are talking about.

The way you guys worship white people here is shocking.
Are you that intimidated?

3 Likes

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Akuruoulo(m): 5:13pm On Aug 06, 2021
Kondomatic:
It's actually different.

Son inlaws rarely have issues with mother inlaws.

Daughter in laws rarely have issues with father in laws.

Son in laws don't have issues with father in laws but mother in laws and daughter in laws are always in the news.

There's a reason.

Mother thinks another woman is taking her son from her and wife thinks a married man should leave his mother and cling to his wife.

Who else in man's life will feel this way? Please this daughter inlaw and mother in law fight is different and will always be.

It's not for me to decide for the Op but if I have a house of 3 flats and the woman I want to marry says that I should move out of the house because of my mother who is living in one, I will leave her.

Any friend that advises me to do such will be unfriended too.

Women don't really leave their family after marriage the way they expect men to do. Most women are okay with their siblings visiting or even living with them, especially their last born.

Their mother can visit and stay for months but once the man's siblings or even mother stays for one week, she will start complaining.

SMH.

Marriage cannot make me a tenant when I am a landlord abeg.
U are a man

1 Like

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Akuruoulo(m): 5:14pm On Aug 06, 2021
frozen70:


The modem day women are not ready to accept their mother inlaws the way they see them
But the good thing is that, they too are future mother inlaw

U gat brains
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by descarado: 5:22pm On Aug 06, 2021
Romanoff:


God will bless your honesty.

Even good mother in-laws will clash with their DILs one day and they hardly forgive.

Na so them go carry the matter tell your other husband siblings, your husband's siblings won't ask you for explanations, they'd just start putting up attitude.

If you ask most wives who have cordial relationships with their MILs, the MILs are far away. Na only phone calls and holiday visits dey join them together. Just send them money and foodstuff, check on them via phone calls and dey your lane.

Over familiarity dey bring wahala o.
Vicious circle.
When husbands don't care for their wives , they turn all the love and attention to their sons. When son finally become man and relationship with husbands have ended to housemates or the man is dead, the mum wouldn't want to come to terms that her small boy is now and adult who need his freedom. You talk, she will come with emotional blackmail and crocodile tears

Boy/man will look back and yes, she was there for me so I must think of her first, any other person is secondary.

That's how more than 70% of men find themselves in this situation. And guess what?
They repeat the same stuff their dad did to their wives. Already,mum first wifey, you are on you own. Wifey will join herself with her new son.
And the circle continues.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Sotland: 5:23pm On Aug 06, 2021
frozen70:


If it's your house, you can stay there and rent a mini flat for your mother

If it's a family house, then prepare to get your own apartment

Only God knows why mother inlaws and daughter inlaws don't get along

One of the reasons is position.. But the truth is that any girl that cannot cope with her mother inlaw has a bad character.. Although there are a few instances where the mother inlaw is extremely bad, however, the girl would have noticed or known it, yet she choose to ignore it.. How and why should a girl marry a guy when she's not liked by the mother inlaw..

My friend that married, immediate the wife entered his house. He asked her to pay his family house a visit and spend sometime to know them because they never dated, it was matchmaking thing and his family never saw or knew her in person until the wedding day. Boom! The wife started to feel irritated, "she wants nothing to do with his family". She cannot go there and spend a week, why would she? All sort of things she said.. A mother inlaw that was so welcoming, she sees her as a nobody.. But then she had her two sister living with them in my friend's house. My friend send some money to his mother when she was sick, told her and boom! She asked him "how much have you sent to my own mother?" A marriage of barely 3 months oo..

This is a broad topic, it contrast more than whether the two can live together or not.. Even if they live separately, a bad mother inlaw, remains a bad mother inlaw and a bad girl remains bad..
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by providencia(m): 5:26pm On Aug 06, 2021
Kondomatic:
It's actually different.

Son inlaws rarely have issues with mother inlaws.

Daughter in laws rarely have issues with father in laws.

Son in laws don't have issues with father in laws but mother in laws and daughter in laws are always in the news.

There's a reason.

Mother thinks another woman is taking her son from her and wife thinks a married man should leave his mother and cling to his wife.

Who else in man's life will feel this way? Please this daughter inlaw and mother in law fight is different and will always be.

It's not for me to decide for the Op but if I have a house of 3 flats and the woman I want to marry says that I should move out of the house because of my mother who is living in one, I will leave her.

Any friend that advises me to do such will be unfriended too.

Women don't really leave their family after marriage the way they expect men to do. Most women are okay with their siblings visiting or even living with them, especially their last born.

Their mother can visit and stay for months but once the man's siblings or even mother stays for one week, she will start complaining.

SMH.

Marriage cannot make me a tenant when I am a landlord abeg.

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by SonofGod231: 5:26pm On Aug 06, 2021
vickydevoka:

The mother in law will eventually come when he gets married abi. Lol
Eventually but not to live with them permanently.From the "Headline" He made it look like it was a case of his mother-in-law staying with him. Anyways,It was just an observation and the OP has clarified. Not something to tarry on.

1 Like

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by tunwumi: 5:43pm On Aug 06, 2021
Rozcol:
Go and rent a place for you and your wife alone before you pave way for seeds of discord between them.I can never agree to live with a mother in-law no matter how good she is,never.

Just imagine this same statement to you by a daughter - in - law. How happy will you be honestly? See the end part of your M-I-L is likely to resemble yours.

Live with love and tranquility
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Unrated900(m): 5:43pm On Aug 06, 2021
Romanoff:


God will bless your honesty.

Even good mother in-laws will clash with their DILs one day and they hardly forgive.

Na so them go carry the matter tell your other husband siblings, your husband's siblings won't ask you for explanations, they'd just start putting up attitude.

If you ask most wives who have cordial relationships with their MILs, the MILs are far away. Na only phone calls and holiday visits dey join them together. Just send them money and foodstuff, check on them via phone calls and dey your lane.

Over familiarity dey bring wahala o.




I swear down bro
Na true you talk
Their wahala too much
I no know whether male person no marry again self niiiiiii
You travel out self na wahala
My son aren’t you coming we don’t miss you
You come back them beginning they wage wars
Abeg make everyone leave me alone ooooo
Cos me no get time for shit
Na wetin I wan do Dey my belle
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by kentzz(f): 5:47pm On Aug 06, 2021
prealjewel1993:
Good evening everyone
Please is it advisable to stay in the same company with your mother and wife
Here is the situation
I have a house , three flat , my mother stays in one of the flat
Me, i will getting married soon , some of my friends said i should go rent an apartment that i should not stay in the same company with my mother and my wife
Please i need your advice



My brother, please for the sake of the love you have for your wife to be, go rent another house.

1 Like

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by vickydevoka(m): 5:52pm On Aug 06, 2021
SonofGod231:

Eventually but not to live with them permanently.From the "Headline" He made it look like it was a case of his mother-in-law staying with him. Anyways,It was just an observation and the OP has clarified. Not something to tarry on.
Exactly.
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by kaboninc(m): 6:02pm On Aug 06, 2021
Kondomatic:
It's actually different.

Son inlaws rarely have issues with mother inlaws.

Daughter in laws rarely have issues with father in laws.

Son in laws don't have issues with father in laws but mother in laws and daughter in laws are always in the news.

There's a reason.

Mother thinks another woman is taking her son from her and wife thinks a married man should leave his mother and cling to his wife.

Who else in man's life will feel this way? Please this daughter inlaw and mother in law fight is different and will always be.

It's not for me to decide for the Op but if I have a house of 3 flats and the woman I want to marry says that I should move out of the house because of my mother who is living in one, I will leave her.

Any friend that advises me to do such will be unfriended too.

Women don't really leave their family after marriage the way they expect men to do. Most women are okay with their siblings visiting or even living with them, especially their last born.

Their mother can visit and stay for months but once the man's siblings or even mother stays for one week, she will start complaining.

SMH.

Marriage cannot make me a tenant when I am a landlord abeg.

You I strongly believe is still very very young. But if you think otherwise, then you really have not seen the world and should wait a bit more before you think of having a gf first....
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by kaboninc(m): 6:03pm On Aug 06, 2021
rayvelez:
Nothing person no go read on dis green app oo, man build 3 flats house not 3bedrooms flat her mother live in one flat man want to marry he his here asking for advice if its wise for him and new bride to live in the same compound with MIL.
Now they are advising him to leave the house with new bride and be a tenant outside. The marriage already end in tears bfr it start.

Is it wrong, bad or not good?
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by BrillantOne(f): 6:34pm On Aug 06, 2021
[color=#000099][/color]
prealjewel1993:
Good evening everyone
Please is it advisable to stay in the same company with your mother and wife
Here is the situation
I have a house , three flat , my mother stays in one of the flat
Me, i will getting married soon , some of my friends said i should go rent an apartment that i should not stay in the same company with my mother and my wife
Please i need your advice
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by ImaIma1(f): 6:40pm On Aug 06, 2021
vickydevoka:


There are still peaceful women out there. Buh it's rare to see. Women like wahala, my mum is number 1. Maybe bcus de are too emotional or something. May God help us from de hands of evil women


Even me myself wouldn't have liked to stay under the same roof with my parents for life. My mum was a very peaceful person but it would just be nice to be married and be away. Let me miss them and come and visit instead.

And no matter what, they will always put their mouths into some issues.
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by freshalien: 6:50pm On Aug 06, 2021
Rozcol:
Go and rent a place for you and your wife alone before you pave way for seeds of discord between them.I can never agree to live with a mother in-law no matter how good she is,never.

I hope you would be very understanding when your son decides to do same even though both of you are very close?
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Kondomatic(m): 6:55pm On Aug 06, 2021
bukolabeauty09:


Reasons for this is because the wife can address her siblings anyhow she wants, she can send them on errands either the mum, the younger or older siblings but you see those in laws, they see themselves as small god, you can't send them any errand, they will rather give you works to do and even complain that you are not respectful enough.

Let inlaws come and visit 3-5 days that's enough and go back to their house....As a wife you can ask your mum or siblings to go back when their trouble is much but you dear not tell your inlaws that, not even the ones you are older than.

Yorubas will say oro ni ana....inlaws are to be worshipped even more than your husband.
You do realize that your siblings are to your husband what his own are to you right?

You do realize that the siblings of yours who will come to your house and spend months without any issue will automatically become a problem once they visit your married brother?

How do you explain that?

2 Likes

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by tayoccu(m): 7:11pm On Aug 06, 2021
prealjewel1993:
Good evening everyone
Please is it advisable to stay in the same company with your mother and wife
Here is the situation
I have a house , three flat , my mother stays in one of the flat
Me, i will getting married soon , some of my friends said i should go rent an apartment that i should not stay in the same company with my mother and my wife
Please i need your advice

How old is your mom (70’s, 80’s)?
Are you the one taking care of her?
I ask because if she’s old and dependent on you, moving away will make her uncomfortable, and it will make your wife look bad.
I see nothing wrong with staying in the same building with your mom.

1 Like

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Munzy14(m): 7:11pm On Aug 06, 2021
mariahAngel:
What about your dad?
Gi na family section..cheesy
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by okoroemeka(m): 7:14pm On Aug 06, 2021
Rozcol:
Men of immense wisdom understood my statement perfectly well,if your half-life induced brain fails then its no business of mine.Rubbish ow that's even your monika
I was in a such dilemma when I wanted to marry,we have six flags building with me and my mother and househelp occupying one,my wife bluntly refused even for us to shift to another flat,we lived together with my mother, and my wife was driving her to work every morning before going to school,it continued for six years before my mother died suddenly of stroke in 2006,they lived together happily like mother and daughter and I was privileged for her to name 3 of my children before she died,osodiemeaku RIP.

2 Likes

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by vickydevoka(m): 7:20pm On Aug 06, 2021
ImaIma1:


Even me myself wouldn't have liked to stay under the same roof with my parents for life. My mum was a very peaceful person but it would just be nice to be married and be away. Let me miss them and come and visit instead.

And no matter what, they will always put their mouths into some issues.
Yes. Do u think people hu stay with dere parents wish so? I don't think so. Just that de don't have a choice. In Jos plateau state, de hardly leave dere parents house even after marriage , buh de are use to it. De don't rent house . De rather stay in one room with there wife than to rent a house. Only 5% of them can rent a house
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by mariahAngel(f): 7:23pm On Aug 06, 2021
Munzy14:

Gi na family section..cheesy

Nsogbu section a ehn...o kariri cheesy
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Munzy14(m): 7:28pm On Aug 06, 2021
mariahAngel:


Nsogbu section a ehn...o kariri cheesy
I likiri family and it values...so it is common to see you here...

What is your take on OP's topic?
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 7:40pm On Aug 06, 2021
inumidun2010:

Let's deal with this...
Your Mom is a DISCIPLINARIAN while your WIFE is kinda MILD with KIDS, everyday, YOUR MOM FLOGS the CHILDREN because they are STUBBORN and it doesn't really AUGUR WELL with YOUR WIFE seeing her CHILDREN crying EVERYTIME.. That house is SITTING on a TIME BOMB because one day, the WIFE will EXPLODE no matter how GENTLE and CALM she is SEEING her CHILDREN crying EVERYTIME
You come home as the HUSBAND, whose side will you take, if you take SIDES your MOTHER( You WIFE will be DISPLEASED), You take sides with your WIFE ( Your MOTHER becomes BITTER and keep reminding you how she CARRIED YOU FOR 9 MONTHS)
JUST PRAY FOR A GOOD WIFE, because loneliness at OLDAGE isn't GOOD FOR ANYONE

Very gooood point!!!,but you know,it could me and my wife.I might be that disciplinarian and wife is mild....Is it not still a time bomb?...See,it is not about differences, but the type women involved in ones life. A good mother and a good wife can solve all these.
Young women should know that they are future mothers too and mothers should also know that they were once wives who craved for their own husbands attention.

1 Like

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by ImaIma1(f): 7:43pm On Aug 06, 2021
vickydevoka:

Yes. Do u think people hu stay with dere parents wish so? I don't think so. Just that de don't have a choice. In Jos plateau state, de hardly leave dere parents house even after marriage , buh de are use to it. De don't rent house . De rather stay in one room with there wife than to rent a house. Only 5% of them can rent a house


It's not for those who don't have a choice or those who cannot afford it. The OP can afford to rent another apartment.

1 Like

Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 7:50pm On Aug 06, 2021
Romanoff:


Any man that can be manipulated my a woman or any man who still needs his mum to in his life shouldn't get married.

There's a different place for a mother and a wife.

If you open your eye go marry any woman wey go manipulate you, then I guess it's okay for mummy to live with you and the wife so she can always be there to protect you.
Being obsessed about your mother in-law not leaving with you is suspicious.
Some wonderful mothers in-law exist,that is not to say there are no bad ones but you see those girls who even hate their mother in-law before even coming in contact with them,they always have skeletons in their cupboard. Pray to have a good mother in-law, because one day you will be one.
The wives of today who resent the presence of their mother in-law,end up being the bad mothers in-law of tomorrow.
They can't swallow what they tend to cut for others.
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Romanoff(f): 7:53pm On Aug 06, 2021
Baawahala:

Being obsessed about your mother in-law not leaving with you is suspicious.
Some wonderful mothers in-law exist,that is not to say there are no bad ones but you those girls who even hate their mother in-law before even coming in contact with them,they always have skeletons in their cupboard. Pray to have a good mother in-law, because one day you will be one.
The wives of today who resent the presence of their mother in-law,end up being the bad mothers in-law of tomorrow.
They can't swallow what they tend to cut for others.

I already have a good mother in law. But I believe the reason our relationship is cordial is cause we don't live together and have our boundaries. I don't interfer in what happens between her and her son and she doesn't have the chance to interfer with what happens between me and my husband.
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by mariahAngel(f): 7:53pm On Aug 06, 2021
Munzy14:

I likiri family and it values...so it is common to see you here...

What is your take on OP's topic?

Family is everything.

Considering that the op said he built 3flats, one would be quick to think they can live together with his mother, but if you think it through, as a new couple, they really need to be on their own.
The should have their privacy away from both their families.

It also depends on their situation.
Re: Staying With Your Mother Inlaw by Nobody: 8:00pm On Aug 06, 2021
Romanoff:


I already have a good mother in law. But I believe the reason our relationship is cordial is cause we don't live together and have our boundaries. I don't interfer in what happens between her and her son and she doesn't have the chance to interfer with what happens between me and my husband.

That's the point,a good mother in-law, is good nomather where they are.
Yes,I believe some others need to be far to maintain that good relationship.
I believed you've not seen some wives who crave for their mother in-law because she makes the husband treat her better.All these things are relative.
But for someone to use another person's story as a yardstick for distancing away from her future mother in-law is highly suspicious.

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