placeofallure:


I absolutely understand you. Thank you.

When I say love is about giving and taking, I simply mean it should never be one sided. Whatever is given in sacrifice must be reciprocated. It may not exactly be commensurate but little kind gestures go a long way.

I hope you understand now.

Perfectly.
Thanks for your contribution

bepositive11:


Interesting question. Had to think hard to answer

First of all, when we genuinely love someone, their pain is our pain, so we try out best not to hurt them. If we do hurt them, we apologise and never do it again

But, like in your example, people can love someone who doesn't love them and in that case, it is possible to get betrayed. But, the hurts start small and get bigger with time

This is why it is important to love ourselves first so that we can establish healthy boundaries and avoid people who don't genuinely love us

Unfortunately, many people don't love themselves and look for someone to love them. This is why they end up tolerating people who don't love them back and who hurt them instead. They become obsessed and addicted

So many people confuse addiction with love. They use their lover as means to escape from themselves

I was a victim of this but not anymore. I really love myself now and it's very easy to cut off toxic people. I don't "need" anyone to love me anymore. But I'm definitely open to sharing my life with someone who's fulfilled on their own. I avoid people who say that they need me or that they can't live without me or that I'm their everything at all cost! Very toxic way of thinking but it's celebrated so often

Some will even say they can't stay single for a long time. Therefore, they dive into any relationship(it could be toxic) just to avoid being single.
I don't know if it's low self-esteem, pressure or loneliness.
But, thanks I understand you perfectly. You've learnt from experience.

Cinema4d:

Perfectly.
Thanks for your contribution

You are welcome.

Love is an unconscious commitment to someone

Cinema4d:

Some will even say they can't stay single for a long time. Therefore, they dive into any relationship(it could be toxic) just to avoid being single.
I don't know if it's low self-esteem, pressure or loneliness.
But, thanks I understand you perfectly. You've learnt from experience.

Yes, I've learnt from experience. You must've learnt from experience too.

People who can't stay single are walking red flags. Since they're so desperate, their standards are so low. They'll accept the first person who shows them attention and they would do anything to hold on to them (to not lose them), which is why they're much more likely to get into toxic relationships and stay

I personally believe that low self esteem has a lot to do with it, but I think it all stems from growing up in dysfunctional families. People who've experienced neglect, abuse, and/or abandonment when they were kids tend to have this problem. I used to be like that too. There was so much shame and guilt going on in my head that I was using crushes to escape from myself but I wasn't aware of it. Just like how people get addicted to drugs, my addiction was to people

I experienced a string of rejections but the last one hurt so bad because I genuinely had feelings for them. That was what motivated me to change. I'm very happily single now and I'm only willing to be with someone who's as healthy as I am and compatible

The fairytales and movies we watch growing up are deceiving. They don't depict healthy love. Teenagers are looking for love and relationships before even knowing themselves and what they want out of life

For the woman: love is non-hypocritical defence n reverence for the man in absence.

For the man: Love is giving-all even when its so hard and painful.

The above is the depth of it all..as long as we are mortals.

Love is blind. But marriage will open your eyes.

Cinema4d:

You think?
I beg to disagree.
Love is not selfish. In fact, love should be mutual; it should not be one sided like you stated.

You don't get it.. in reality everyone is using everyone. We are all using each other differently. Believe it or not

dairykidd:

You don't get it.. in reality everyone is using everyone. We are all using each other differently. Believe it or not

If this is your belief then you are not a good person. Please stay with hook up girls only so as not to mess with the life of women

Iyaebe:
If this is your belief then you are not a good person. Please stay with hook up girls only so as not to mess with the life of women

Not really my belief..more of experiences so far. How can u advise i stay with hook up girls. I don't pay for sex when i know she will enjoy it more

dairykidd:

Not really my belief..more of experiences so far. How can u advise i stay with hook up girls. I don't pay for sex when i know she will enjoy it more

And its all about the enjoyment for you,what about companionship?

Iyaebe:
And its all about the enjoyment for you,what about companionship?

Chai u go like wahala pass trouble sha. U mentioned hook up girls hence I said enjoyment abi u want me to be keeping relationships with hook up girls again? Be calming down na

dairykidd:

Chai u go like wahala pass trouble sha. U mentioned hook up girls hence I said enjoyment abi u want me to be keeping relationships with hook up girls again? Be calming down na

I'm not a troublesome person but I could sense you don't believe in marriage and companionship, its use and dump for you.

Iyaebe:
I'm not a troublesome person but I could sense you don't believe in marriage and companionship, its use and dump for you.

God forbid.. why would u even think That? I believe in marriage, family, companionship and all the good good. I'm only just stating what i have experienced so far. Who use and dump help. It wouldn't help me grow or be focused on my stuff. So why would I love it.

dairykidd:

God forbid.. why would u even think That? I believe in marriage, family, companionship and all the good good. I'm only just stating what i have experienced so far. Who use and dump help. It wouldn't help me grow or be focused on my stuff. So why would I love it.

Good to prove me wrong that's if I'm truly wrong

Iyaebe:
Good to prove me wrong that's if I'm truly wrong

Lol.. are u sure I don't know u or u don't know me

dairykidd:

Lol.. are u sure I don't know u or u don't know me

You must be mixing up something

Iyaebe:
You must be mixing up something

Okay then

dairykidd:

You don't get it.. in reality everyone is using everyone. We are all using each other differently. Believe it or not

I disagree.
I believe love does not "use" it stays, it endures.

bepositive11:


Yes, I've learnt from experience. You must've learnt from experience too.

People who can't stay single are walking red flags. Since they're so desperate, their standards are so low. They'll accept the first person who shows them attention and they would do anything to hold on to them (to not lose them), which is why they're much more likely to get into toxic relationships and stay

I personally believe that low self esteem has a lot to do with it, but I think it all stems from growing up in dysfunctional families. People who've experienced neglect, abuse, and/or abandonment when they were kids tend to have this problem. I used to be like that too. There was so much shame and guilt going on in my head that I was using crushes to escape from myself but I wasn't aware of it. Just like how people get addicted to drugs, my addiction was to people

I experienced a string of rejections but the last one hurt so bad because I genuinely had feelings for them. That was what motivated me to change. I'm very happily single now and I'm only willing to be with someone who's as healthy as I am and compatible

The fairytales and movies we watch growing up are deceiving. They don't depict healthy love. Teenagers are looking for love and relationships before even knowing themselves and what they want out of life

Exactly, movies are one of the factors that's misleading people about relationships.

Teenagers are looking for love and relationships before even knowing themselves and what they want out of life
Absolutely! Even some adults are still not sure what they really want out of life.

Dufil:
For the woman: love is non-hypocritical defence n reverence for the man in absence.

For the man: Love is giving-all even when its so hard and painful.

The above is the depth of it all..as long as we are mortals.

Balanced.

Cinema4d:

I disagree.
I believe love does not "use" it stays, it endures.

Good for u. Apart from agape love, this love u all profess comes with an expiry date so it's all fake to me. Y'all love to talk good and sweet publicly. Look inwards and tell only urself the truth and see how it tastes...Enjoy ur Sunday

dairykidd:

Good for u. Apart from agape love, this love u all profess comes with an expiry date so it's all fake to me. Y'all love to talk good and sweet publicly. Look inwards and tell only urself the truth and see how it tastes...Enjoy ur Sunday

Hate to admit it but, You're right on this one. it's easier said than done... happy sunday too

Cinema4d:

Exactly, movies are one of the factors that's misleading people about relationships.

Teenagers are looking for love and relationships before even knowing themselves and what they want out of life
Absolutely! Even some adults are still not sure what they really want out of life.

Very true! Adults too!

President Buhari

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