It's a bit lengthy pls bear with me

I met a lady through 2go in 2014. I asked her out online and she accepted, weeks later, we met one weekend and had sex on the first day! The sex wasn't great, I stopped half way and went to shower. The following day I snooped and discovered that she already have a boyfriend and the guy is in the same school with her. I dissolved everything between us and left for my lodge (I was schooling too but in another school but same state)

She didn't call to apologise and I also locked up. Fast forward 6 month later, she messaged me on Facebook that she was 7 months pregnant. I did my calculations and Instantly knew something was wrong somewhere. I denied being the father, she went on my friend list and dug up my my uncle's profile and chatted him about the pregnancy. My uncle messaged me

Calm me down and request I go see the baby with my parent. We went to her parent house, saw the baby immediately started investigating about dna test. I was humbled by the price of the dna test (200k as at then) because there is no way I was going to raise that kind of money while in school.

Long story short, my parent and I have been taking care of the baby ever since then, I finished school around 2017, travelled out of the country almost immediately after graduation and assumed responsibility on my own.

I came back late 2019, I requested we do a dna test upon my arrival. I went straight up to a known diagnostic center and made enquiries of the price and what to bring before the dna test will be done..

I was told to bring any official means of identification for myself, the birth certificate of the baby and the mother will also have a means of identification too and she will also be present to sign the consent form.

I told her about the requirements and ask her if she had any means of identification herself. She said No! I went back to the diagnostic centre and told them if there is any substitute, they said she can present her NIN slip. I told her immediately to get the NIN slip, days later she told me there were too much people on the queue and that she can't continue to waste her time endlessly. We went back and forth about the NIN slip till the whole of 2020 ended.

The beginning of this year I told her that I'll stop giving her money for the baby's upkeep if she can't provide the NIN slip. With as low as 2500 she can get hers from the local shops.

She called and called for me to send her money for the first 3 months of this year. I didn't budge. I kept to my words. No dna test, no money. School fees time came, she called, I was forced to go back to the diagnostic center this April and pleaded if there is a way we could do the dna test without requesting any form of identification from the mother of the child. They called the head office in lag and told me that we can do the test without the mum's mode of identification. I was elated and called her to bring the baby with her on the 5th of April (Easter Monday) to the my shop, then from there we will go to the diagnostic center. She said OK.

I waited for her to bring the child over, she didn't. She called me 3 days after saying that she went for a church program. I was furious. I told her to show bring the baby the following day (Thursday) she said she will come. Again she refuse to show up. She called 5 days later to tell me that she's sorry. I ended the call and told her that she isn't serious.

She rang me days ago to tell me that the baby is not feeling too well and that she want to see me, she urge me to pls send her something to take the baby to the hospital for treatment.

I'm in a dilemma, I don't know how to go about this. It's obvious that she is deliberately not allowing me to go for the dna test and I don't want to be a deadbeat dad either.

How do I lure her to go for the test? I don't want my daughter to have a bad perception about me that I wasn't there through her childhood (if eventually she turn out to be mine).

Help!

https://www.nairaland.com/6623547/dna-test-palava-what

Modified :

I posted this last month and I have done the dna test. The test turned out negative and that I'm not the father.

I don't know where to start from. I don't know what to do. A part of me what to drain her even till the last kobo I spent on the child and a part of me also want to let go (make dem sha carry their wahala dey go).

What do you guys reckon?

Marriages are under attack, couples should be very careful.

Kobojunkie:
How old is the child in question?

Can you put yourself in the child's shoes to understand that it is probably even more devastated than you are that he is losing the one who he knew as dad? Wil that help you make your next decision?

Imagine the nonsense you dropped here. So, he should continue training another man's child? A child that was forced on him? Learn to align your brains to your phone before making a post here. We're adults here.

MrOposter:

I posted this last month and I have done the dna test. The test turned out negative and that I'm not the father.

I don't know where to start from. I don't know what to do. A part of me what to drain her even till the last kobo I spent on the child and a part of me also want to let go (make dem sha carry their wahala dey go).

What do you guys reckon?

How old is the child in question?

Can you put yourself in the child's shoes to understand that it is probably even more devastated than you are that he is losing the one who he knew as dad? Wil that help you make your next decision?

MrOposter:
https://www.nairaland.com/6623547/dna-test-palava-what

I posted this last month and I have done the dna test. The test turned out negative and that I'm not the father.

I don't know where to start from. I don't know what to do. A part of me what to drain her even till the last kobo I spent on the child and a part of me also want to let go (make dem sha carry their wahala dey go).

What do you guys reckon?

Drag that case to court. Let the deceitful mother pay for the crime. Its paternity fraud.

Kobojunkie:
[s]How old is the child in question?

Can you put yourself in the child's shoes to understand that it is probably even more devastated than you are that he is losing the one who he knew as dad? Wil that help you make your next decision?[/s]

Trash.
Put yourself in the young man's condition. How would you feel after spending so much (finance and emotion and time) on a relationship, and your partner starts acting weird, only for your worst fears about the children she imposed on you to be confirmed?

[s]

Iyaebe:
Marriages are under attack, couples should be very careful.

[/s]
Nonsense!

Because your fellow woman forced a child on an innocent man, you now beginning to sound like a marriage counselor. Call out the promiscuous woman and leave innocent couples out of this.

kingreign:


Drag that case to court. Let the deceitful mother pay for the crime. Its paternity fraud.

That's what I'm planning to do. If she can't repay, she should serve jail term.

kingreign:

Trash.
Put yourself in the young man's condition. How would you feel after spending so much (finance and emotion and time) on a relationship, and your partner starts acting weird, only for your worst fears about the children she imposed on you to be confirmed?

Your worst fear is that your child isn't yours? You never grow at all.

MrOposter:
https://www.nairaland.com/6623547/dna-test-palava-what

I posted this last month and I have done the dna test. The test turned out negative and that I'm not the father.

I don't know where to start from. I don't know what to do. A part of me what to drain her even till the last kobo I spent on the child and a part of me also want to let go (make dem sha carry their wahala dey go).

What do you guys reckon?

How much did you do the test and where?
Asking for a friend!

So you think you will win the case? With a good lawyer she can get ideas on what to say to counter your accusations, and will not pay you a dime. I feel your pain, but it's better to let go, save yourself from court stress and move on.

MrOposter:
That's what I'm planning to do. If she can't repay, she should serve jail term.

exposition:
How much did you do the test and where?
Asking for a friend!

130k

Union Diagnostic Center

Only a foolish person will sleep around recklessly, get pregnant and still think she gets to decide who the father of the child should be.

LilMissFavvy:
So you think you will win the case? With a good lawyer she can get ideas on what to say to counter your accusations, and will not pay you a dime. I feel your pain, but it's better to let go, save yourself from court stress and move on.

Lol. I'm not surprised it's coming from a lady.

MrOposter:
https://www.nairaland.com/6623547/dna-test-palava-what

I posted this last month and I have done the dna test. The test turned out negative and that I'm not the father.

I don't know where to start from. I don't know what to do. A part of me what to drain her even till the last kobo I spent on the child and a part of me also want to let go (make dem sha carry their wahala dey go).

What do you guys reckon?

Get your family and hers together, give them copies of the DNA result to go through, letting them know that is the proof that a child not biologically yours was forced on you while the biological father has been spared of his responsibility.

I can imagine the trauma you are going through as a result of the deceit.

Now that I've given you free counsel, you are saying it's because I'm a lady . Do what you wish o, I'm done.

MrOposter:
Lol. I'm not surprised it's coming from a lady.

LilMissFavvy:
Now that I've given you free counsel, you are saying it's because I'm a lady . Do what you wish o, I'm done.

Alright. Thanks all the same

Pavore9:


Get your family and hers together, give them copies of the DNA result to go through, letting them know that is the proof that a child not biologically yours was forced on you while the biological father has been spared of his responsibility.

I can imagine the trauma you are going through as a result of the deceit.

Thanks Boss. Much appreciated

MrOposter:


Thanks Boss. Much appreciated

You are welcome.

If you feel you want to get compensation for what you have spent, let her family know about it.

Another one? Daughters of Jezebel are evil, men watch your back. Make sure all the children she gives you are yours. If you dont have money, borrow to do DNA tests on all of them, it's economical in the long run.

MrOposter:
That's what I'm planning to do. If she can't repay, she should serve jail term.

And the child?

MrOposter:
That's what I'm planning to do. If she can't repay, she should serve jail term.

OP, I don't think you need this court wahala. If I were you, I will leave her with her child in peace. Let go...

Kobojunkie:
And the child?

She can stay with her grandma for all I care. She's six! She's not breastfeeding

MrOposter:
She can stay with her grandma for all I care. She's six! She's not breastfeeding

So you are willing to engage in a court battle and subject this innocent child to a life of this kind mainly to soothe your ego in this?

Kobojunkie:
Your worst fear is that your child isn't yours? You never grow at all.

You obviously lack sense.

kingreign:

You obviously lack sense.

Are you certain that I am the one who lacks sense in this?

MrOposter:
She can stay with her grandma for all I care. She's six! She's not breastfeeding

Did you ever love the child or did the doubt prevent you from loving the child?

Ladies we can do better!!!! We really can!

I don't think it's possible to be pregnant and not know who the father is.

First of all, avoid having multiple partners.. let's try abeg and if you're married stay Faithful. Even if you're single, stay one place, or highest use CD or contraceptive.
These will reduce the chance of parternity fraud .

Also, when you know say you don fkkkuupp , and you get belle for person wey you no like, please be honest enough to face the consequences of your actions and give the baby to the owner, not forcing it on another person.
How do you even sleep well at night knowing someone else is taking up the responsibility of another person's child and is also emotionally attached as the dad .

Better to come out plain, endure the embarrassment for sometime (if there's any) but make sure you give the baby to the true father.

Be sincere enough to tell the real father no matter how hard.. because ehn .. there is something called DNA test now.. it is our KARMA, and soon enough it will knock on your door, one after the other, it will catch up with you and your heavy lie. And the aftermath is even more shameful

Op, please just let them go . There's no need dragging the matter, if you are still willing, assist the child , if not.. let them go. It's more honorable
Lalasticlala

LIST OF STUPID PEOPLE ON NAIRALAND

Kobojunkie
Food queen

The list will continue to grow as more idiots will be added. Very dense people especially this kobojunkie of a guy , just look at the stupid advice he gave the OP

Kobojunkie:
How old is the child in question?

Can you put yourself in the child's shoes to understand that it is probably even more devastated than you are that he is losing the one who he knew as dad? Wil that help you make your next decision?

Your Mumuism na follow come

Pavore9:


You are welcome.

If you feel you want to get compensation for what you have spent, let her family know about it.

Alright boss.

mariahAngel:
Only a foolish person will sleep around recklessly, get pregnant and still think she gets to decide who the father of the child should be.

Return the phone to the owner.


I doubt this is Mariah.