michlins:
People born between 1990-1996 are going through terrible situation.

Anywhere you see them, have mercy on them

chinasaekpere:
Hello guys, this is a very strong decision I want to make, I need your help to make this decision or not to. I am thinking of cutting my parents off because they have caused me enormous financial setback as a result of the bad decisions my father made. Firstly, I will like to give you a background of the story.

I come from a family of 4 and I am the first child of my parents. My dad is a retired federal government worker, he worked for many eyes as a school cert holder (so obviously, he didn’t hold very top position until he retired, probably the max in reached was level 8 or 9). He trained me through the university and he retired during my NYSC, at this point one of my brothers was in the university (he never graduated because he was nonchalant), my 3rd brother was a jambite and the last born was in primary school. The Jambite graduated this year and the last born is now a jambite.

In 2013, my dad retired and received gratuity worth several millions. My mom tried persuading him to build a house in the village because we are Igbos but Based in ogun state but my dad refused and insisted that he was going to develop his land in ogun state by building a 4 flats building (up stairs) then start business with the remaining money in Ogun state (apparently, he got the revelation from church to do that), he never completed the house. My dad is very religious until date, so out of the money he paid tithe, bought instruments for church and made some donations. Immediately I finished serving, I got a job with a pharmaceutical company as a medical sales representative. I was receiving a salary of 80k with commission. Things started great. I served some money I joined my dad in some of his fish farm business, I was in Enugu while he was doing the farm business in ogun state. When it was time to harvest the fish, I was told stories about theft, I spent 700k on the business but was able to recover 200k because I had to help him offset some debt.

To cut the long story short, my dad started having serious financial issues, couldn’t pay school fees of my last born in school, had several debts just about 2years after collecting millions as gratuity due to his wrong choice of investment. Ofcourse the financial burden transcended to me, until a point that my dad got into trouble from another debt, he spent church harvest savings that he was suppose to remit. I was paying my brothers school fees worth 150k per term, i had to take money from company’s account to help him offset the debt hoping that he would pay up and I will pay some before company finds out. The whole financial burden was so huge for a starter like me, owing to the fact that I lost all my savings to the fish farming business and I also had to pay house rents in Enugu and pay other bills.
I accumulated a debt of 1.2million with the company and then is started paying it by bit until the company found out that there was a deficit of 400k. I was arrested and was in the cell for days.
To get out of the cell, I had to sign a legal agreement for a payment plan of paying 30k monthly to offset the debt. Luckily for me, I got a 60k job 1month after, my dad couldn’t pay my last siblings school fees, I took him to Enugu and started Paying his bills. I was also paying 30k from my salary every month until I paid all the lost the job again during the heat of the recession. I managed to pay up that debt.
Since 2018, I haven’t really done any serious job, I started driving Uber in 2019, saved up some money, my mom needed money for business last year, i borrowed her, she couldn’t complete the payment. The car I was using to do the Uber got bad again.
I had to look for a remote job now in Lagos, I saved up money and learnt how to do footwear, i Am saving some money to pay my house and shop rent and get machines.
Last two month my dad called that he needed money for my brother’s school fees so he can complete his SSCE exams. He promised to payback mid last month, now I have not seen the money and my that was my house rent I borrowed him. My house rent expired in August. I called him, and ofcourse, he is playing the emotional game. Now, they are in serious financial mess and they seem not to want stop dragging me into it and it’s not as if I am doing great myself. I am not, I’m struggling to make something after mortgaging a lot of time paying several debts. It is overwhelming.

The point is, I am 31years old, I’m looking forward to making my own family and it seem if I am not careful, they will drag me back from this objective. Anytime I try to organize myself, they come up with their monetary problems and it hinders my growth. My plan was to get a shop and equip it before the end of first quarter 2022 from the saving I made from my current 80k salary and now they have collected my house rent in form of a loan. That’s a drawback again.

I have to make my own family, I need to shed some burden to be able to do that. I also want to be a parent and I never want to depend on my kids in my old age.
Should I cut them off?
If no, what do you advice that I do?

chinasaekpere:
Hello guys, this is a very strong decision I want to make, I need your help to make this decision or not to. I am thinking of cutting my parents off because they have caused me enormous financial setback as a result of the bad decisions my father made. Firstly, I will like to give you a background of the story.

I come from a family of 4 and I am the first child of my parents. My dad is a retired federal government worker, he worked for many eyes as a school cert holder (so obviously, he didn’t hold very top position until he retired, probably the max in reached was level 8 or 9). He trained me through the university and he retired during my NYSC, at this point one of my brothers was in the university (he never graduated because he was nonchalant), my 3rd brother was a jambite and the last born was in primary school. The Jambite graduated this year and the last born is now a jambite.

In 2013, my dad retired and received gratuity worth several millions. My mom tried persuading him to build a house in the village because we are Igbos but Based in ogun state but my dad refused and insisted that he was going to develop his land in ogun state by building a 4 flats building (up stairs) then start business with the remaining money in Ogun state (apparently, he got the revelation from church to do that), he never completed the house. My dad is very religious until date, so out of the money he paid tithe, bought instruments for church and made some donations. Immediately I finished serving, I got a job with a pharmaceutical company as a medical sales representative. I was receiving a salary of 80k with commission. Things started great. I served some money I joined my dad in some of his fish farm business, I was in Enugu while he was doing the farm business in ogun state. When it was time to harvest the fish, I was told stories about theft, I spent 700k on the business but was able to recover 200k because I had to help him offset some debt.

To cut the long story short, my dad started having serious financial issues, couldn’t pay school fees of my last born in school, had several debts just about 2years after collecting millions as gratuity due to his wrong choice of investment. Ofcourse the financial burden transcended to me, until a point that my dad got into trouble from another debt, he spent church harvest savings that he was suppose to remit. I was paying my brothers school fees worth 150k per term, i had to take money from company’s account to help him offset the debt hoping that he would pay up and I will pay some before company finds out. The whole financial burden was so huge for a starter like me, owing to the fact that I lost all my savings to the fish farming business and I also had to pay house rents in Enugu and pay other bills.
I accumulated a debt of 1.2million with the company and then is started paying it by bit until the company found out that there was a deficit of 400k. I was arrested and was in the cell for days.
To get out of the cell, I had to sign a legal agreement for a payment plan of paying 30k monthly to offset the debt. Luckily for me, I got a 60k job 1month after, my dad couldn’t pay my last siblings school fees, I took him to Enugu and started Paying his bills. I was also paying 30k from my salary every month until I paid all the lost the job again during the heat of the recession. I managed to pay up that debt.
Since 2018, I haven’t really done any serious job, I started driving Uber in 2019, saved up some money, my mom needed money for business last year, i borrowed her, she couldn’t complete the payment. The car I was using to do the Uber got bad again.
I had to look for a remote job now in Lagos, I saved up money and learnt how to do footwear, i Am saving some money to pay my house and shop rent and get machines.
Last two month my dad called that he needed money for my brother’s school fees so he can complete his SSCE exams. He promised to payback mid last month, now I have not seen the money and my that was my house rent I borrowed him. My house rent expired in August. I called him, and ofcourse, he is playing the emotional game. Now, they are in serious financial mess and they seem not to want stop dragging me into it and it’s not as if I am doing great myself. I am not, I’m struggling to make something after mortgaging a lot of time paying several debts. It is overwhelming.

The point is, I am 31years old, I’m looking forward to making my own family and it seem if I am not careful, they will drag me back from this objective. Anytime I try to organize myself, they come up with their monetary problems and it hinders my growth. My plan was to get a shop and equip it before the end of first quarter 2022 from the saving I made from my current 80k salary and now they have collected my house rent in form of a loan. That’s a drawback again.

I have to make my own family, I need to shed some burden to be able to do that. I also want to be a parent and I never want to depend on my kids in my old age.
Should I cut them off?
If no, what do you advice that I do?

ahnie:
What my mum was constantly doing to me...I have blocked her number for some weeks now,and have had peace of mind now.

chinasaekpere:
Hello guys, this is a very strong decision I want to make, I need your help to make this decision or not to. I am thinking of cutting my parents off because they have caused me enormous financial setback as a result of the bad decisions my father made. Firstly, I will like to give you a background of the story.

I come from a family of 4 and I am the first child of my parents. My dad is a retired federal government worker, he worked for many eyes as a school cert holder (so obviously, he didn’t hold very top position until he retired, probably the max in reached was level 8 or 9). He trained me through the university and he retired during my NYSC, at this point one of my brothers was in the university (he never graduated because he was nonchalant), my 3rd brother was a jambite and the last born was in primary school. The Jambite graduated this year and the last born is now a jambite.

In 2013, my dad retired and received gratuity worth several millions. My mom tried persuading him to build a house in the village because we are Igbos but Based in ogun state but my dad refused and insisted that he was going to develop his land in ogun state by building a 4 flats building (up stairs) then start business with the remaining money in Ogun state (apparently, he got the revelation from church to do that), he never completed the house. My dad is very religious until date, so out of the money he paid tithe, bought instruments for church and made some donations. Immediately I finished serving, I got a job with a pharmaceutical company as a medical sales representative. I was receiving a salary of 80k with commission. Things started great. I served some money I joined my dad in some of his fish farm business, I was in Enugu while he was doing the farm business in ogun state. When it was time to harvest the fish, I was told stories about theft, I spent 700k on the business but was able to recover 200k because I had to help him offset some debt.

To cut the long story short, my dad started having serious financial issues, couldn’t pay school fees of my last born in school, had several debts just about 2years after collecting millions as gratuity due to his wrong choice of investment. Ofcourse the financial burden transcended to me, until a point that my dad got into trouble from another debt, he spent church harvest savings that he was suppose to remit. I was paying my brothers school fees worth 150k per term, i had to take money from company’s account to help him offset the debt hoping that he would pay up and I will pay some before company finds out. The whole financial burden was so huge for a starter like me, owing to the fact that I lost all my savings to the fish farming business and I also had to pay house rents in Enugu and pay other bills.
I accumulated a debt of 1.2million with the company and then is started paying it by bit until the company found out that there was a deficit of 400k. I was arrested and was in the cell for days.
To get out of the cell, I had to sign a legal agreement for a payment plan of paying 30k monthly to offset the debt. Luckily for me, I got a 60k job 1month after, my dad couldn’t pay my last siblings school fees, I took him to Enugu and started Paying his bills. I was also paying 30k from my salary every month until I paid all the lost the job again during the heat of the recession. I managed to pay up that debt.
Since 2018, I haven’t really done any serious job, I started driving Uber in 2019, saved up some money, my mom needed money for business last year, i borrowed her, she couldn’t complete the payment. The car I was using to do the Uber got bad again.
I had to look for a remote job now in Lagos, I saved up money and learnt how to do footwear, i Am saving some money to pay my house and shop rent and get machines.
Last two month my dad called that he needed money for my brother’s school fees so he can complete his SSCE exams. He promised to payback mid last month, now I have not seen the money and my that was my house rent I borrowed him. My house rent expired in August. I called him, and ofcourse, he is playing the emotional game. Now, they are in serious financial mess and they seem not to want stop dragging me into it and it’s not as if I am doing great myself. I am not, I’m struggling to make something after mortgaging a lot of time paying several debts. It is overwhelming.

The point is, I am 31years old, I’m looking forward to making my own family and it seem if I am not careful, they will drag me back from this objective. Anytime I try to organize myself, they come up with their monetary problems and it hinders my growth. My plan was to get a shop and equip it before the end of first quarter 2022 from the saving I made from my current 80k salary and now they have collected my house rent in form of a loan. That’s a drawback again.

I have to make my own family, I need to shed some burden to be able to do that. I also want to be a parent and I never want to depend on my kids in my old age.
Should I cut them off?
If no, what do you advice that I do?

Workch:
when this wanted to happen in my family, I looked my dad in the face and made him understand that his children including me are his responsibilities and he can’t make me his retirement plan. I can only help when it’s convenient for me.
I didn’t choose to be born, he made the decision

chinasaekpere:
I am thinking of staying away for a while to get myself together.
I have a girl friend who works with a federal university, she’s smart and ideal for me but whenever I think about all these, I get scared of taking up marital responsibilities.
I think I have to stay away for awhile to focus on myself and making a family. What do you think?

marsup:
Don't be an unfortunate bigot. Must you display unwarranted foolishness, just to pass your message across? So what if he is Ibo by tribe?

Workch:
when this wanted to happen in my family, I looked my dad in the face and made him understand that his children including me are his responsibilities and he can’t make me his retirement plan. I can only help when it’s convenient for me.
I didn’t choose to be born, he made the decision

chris51:



If possible, you should relocate and far away from your parents. What happened to the flats your father was building?
I sense you and your parents don't have family plan. If not, your dad should have built a flat from his gratuity and use some the remaining money to set himself and your mother up in petty trading.

kingphilip:
And that is why it is good to marry early, bear all your children early too so that before retirement, they should at least be all off school.

I won't tell you to cut them off completely but like I do tell me, have a budget before your salary comes, immediately you get the salary, implement your budget and the cash left over you can use it to render help or borrow others as you can but you know you've settled most key expenses of yours.

chinasaekpere:
Hello guys, this is a very strong decision I want to make, I need your help to make this decision or not to. I am thinking of cutting my parents off because they have caused me enormous financial setback as a result of the bad decisions my father made. Firstly, I will like to give you a background of the story.

I come from a family of 4 and I am the first child of my parents. My dad is a retired federal government worker, he worked for many eyes as a school cert holder (so obviously, he didn’t hold very top position until he retired, probably the max in reached was level 8 or 9). He trained me through the university and he retired during my NYSC, at this point one of my brothers was in the university (he never graduated because he was nonchalant), my 3rd brother was a jambite and the last born was in primary school. The Jambite graduated this year and the last born is now a jambite.

In 2013, my dad retired and received gratuity worth several millions. My mom tried persuading him to build a house in the village because we are Igbos but Based in ogun state but my dad refused and insisted that he was going to develop his land in ogun state by building a 4 flats building (up stairs) then start business with the remaining money in Ogun state (apparently, he got the revelation from church to do that), he never completed the house. My dad is very religious until date, so out of the money he paid tithe, bought instruments for church and made some donations. Immediately I finished serving, I got a job with a pharmaceutical company as a medical sales representative. I was receiving a salary of 80k with commission. Things started great. I served some money I joined my dad in some of his fish farm business, I was in Enugu while he was doing the farm business in ogun state. When it was time to harvest the fish, I was told stories about theft, I spent 700k on the business but was able to recover 200k because I had to help him offset some debt.

To cut the long story short, my dad started having serious financial issues, couldn’t pay school fees of my last born in school, had several debts just about 2years after collecting millions as gratuity due to his wrong choice of investment. Ofcourse the financial burden transcended to me, until a point that my dad got into trouble from another debt, he spent church harvest savings that he was suppose to remit. I was paying my brothers school fees worth 150k per term, i had to take money from company’s account to help him offset the debt hoping that he would pay up and I will pay some before company finds out. The whole financial burden was so huge for a starter like me, owing to the fact that I lost all my savings to the fish farming business and I also had to pay house rents in Enugu and pay other bills.
I accumulated a debt of 1.2million with the company and then is started paying it by bit until the company found out that there was a deficit of 400k. I was arrested and was in the cell for days.
To get out of the cell, I had to sign a legal agreement for a payment plan of paying 30k monthly to offset the debt. Luckily for me, I got a 60k job 1month after, my dad couldn’t pay my last siblings school fees, I took him to Enugu and started Paying his bills. I was also paying 30k from my salary every month until I paid all the lost the job again during the heat of the recession. I managed to pay up that debt.
Since 2018, I haven’t really done any serious job, I started driving Uber in 2019, saved up some money, my mom needed money for business last year, i borrowed her, she couldn’t complete the payment. The car I was using to do the Uber got bad again.
I had to look for a remote job now in Lagos, I saved up money and learnt how to do footwear, i Am saving some money to pay my house and shop rent and get machines.
Last two month my dad called that he needed money for my brother’s school fees so he can complete his SSCE exams. He promised to payback mid last month, now I have not seen the money and my that was my house rent I borrowed him. My house rent expired in August. I called him, and ofcourse, he is playing the emotional game. Now, they are in serious financial mess and they seem not to want stop dragging me into it and it’s not as if I am doing great myself. I am not, I’m struggling to make something after mortgaging a lot of time paying several debts. It is overwhelming.

The point is, I am 31years old, I’m looking forward to making my own family and it seem if I am not careful, they will drag me back from this objective. Anytime I try to organize myself, they come up with their monetary problems and it hinders my growth. My plan was to get a shop and equip it before the end of first quarter 2022 from the saving I made from my current 80k salary and now they have collected my house rent in form of a loan. That’s a drawback again.

I have to make my own family, I need to shed some burden to be able to do that. I also want to be a parent and I never want to depend on my kids in my old age.
Should I cut them off?
If no, what do you advice that I do?

efficiencie:
@chinasaekpere from your post I can see that you have inherited the pattern and spirit of the waters and emptiers from your parents. Yes, your Dad is religious but he is not spiritual. You need to go for deliverance. If you cannot go for deliverance, get prayer points from Dr. D. K. Olukoya (http://mfmjesu-ga.org/2016/05/02/the-battle-against-the-wasters/) and pray before you make another decision. If you don't break from the pattern of your parents you will repeat their mistakes just as you have already started making the mistakes.

ewami:
I have no issues with his stories until I read HE PAID TITHE AND BOUGHT INSTRUMENTS.
I should have called ur dad a compound fool but I won't .
Why is his church not there for him now. If u dont have the balls to call a spade a spade and define it with ur dad. You may not do anything with your life.
Drop mic.