thatigboman1:
This story is similar to that of my friend. We were travelling down east and the wife (he left that morning) keep calling him throughout the journey demanding for money.
We got to enugu and he sent his wife 10k through a POS operator. 30 mins later, he was confused. The wife had not called to acknowledge the money. He called the wife and asked if she had gotten the money he sent, she grumbled and said yes. And asked "who is ngozi?" My friend was mad. Felt like smashing his phone. Women shaa.

hahahahaha

Ugandatales:


Which lower pay? Are you telling me GT Bank pays a female staff less than what they pay a male staff in the same level with her? Are you telling me that a male level 14 officer in government gets more pay than his female colleague in the same level as him? Are you telling me that Linda Ikeji gets less pay than male bloggers? Please make it make sense, and stop repeating what you read online, written by American feminists.

This is the stupidest thing I have read this year

njelrapheal:
while your sources may be correct based on their findings of response to stress and coping with stress, it speaks liitle of your other assertions like women suffering more violence. Also your sources only considered work related stress. It never talked about stress suffered due to family burden and emotionally stress from women on their patners save for work stress women face in conjunction with the need to take care of children. About pay gaps this is an open lie. There is no way men would earn more than women in similar positions working same number or hours

Then find your own sources stating otherwise and stop yanning dust

streetsoldier1:


This is never so in our clime here

Climate*

Amarisco:


This is the stupidest thing I have read this year

I knew you would come with an emotional answer. Just answer my simple question.

Amarisco:


Unfortunately for you, the scientific world doesn’t care about your opinion. Which is what your comment is full of and empty of any academic research.

Furthermore, though generalisability is always an issue, no research is flawless. That doesn’t discount the findings bro.

& if you think that gender roles in the 21st century are ‘miles apart in every instance*’ which you probably meant to say instead of indices, then we no longer need to have this discussion.

Is academic research required for one to know that American (or other nation) based statistics may not necessarily hold true in Nigeria?
Your “findings” are not pointless to this discussion, but it’s not out of place to think that the results would be very different if data used was obtained from here.
That said, the general conclusion is correct. Women seek help in better ways than men, and there are better support systems to help women out, which they take advantage of.
I wonder what prompted you to begin stating how women go through more in a thread that just wants men to do better for themselves.

Lush100:
Yeah thanks
But my wife does not really know how to manage money.
I tried to teach her but with no result as far as family contribution is concerned.
I have been sending her money every Monday morning for the past 5 years as way to help.
I also set her up with a business.(its like the money went down the drain)
Brother,
Sometimes life throws a spin.
I would have gone far if she got.
My brother, the hustle and her recent behavior affected my health,
I have decided to slow down and spend money my health,(its not that bad but i can feel my health is no longer the same.
This money should have channelled for another investment stream even though small or used for other expenses
So health is wealth.
Life can throw a spin like i said earlier
But in all i thank God

You went through a period of awakening and you thought it was midlife crisis but never realized who your wife really is. When the soul wakes, a lot happen.

You must understand who you are who your wife is then work things out. Then your confidant will show up, your teacher will show up and you will realize the true essence and your mission and happiness.

That sounds cryptic but you know

GenBuhari:
If it was me I had advise the uber driver to look for some other business, nobody is making a living wage from driving Uber.
Do you know the cost of foodstuff alone these days? And you want her to be grateful for #3000?

Even if food stuff is cost 1billion, be grateful for the little you have received and encourage him to put in more effort.
Also do something and raise some money too to support him

We dey complain say marriage na prison sentence, you come dey add hard labour on top

murphyibiam15:
I'm trying to encourage our men here to take good care of their health, physically and mentally.

It's not like women don't have theirs but those of the men are very much noticeable in the sense that it takes a toll on their physical and mental health.

(1) I entered lagos two weeks ago and I needed to take uber, this uber driver as I can guess will be bw his 50s and 60s.He needed to send money to his wife (3k)but somehow he couldn't do transfer since he was driving me but I helped him with my bank app while he gave me cash. Do you know after transferring the money his wife was ungrateful and demanded he returns home immediately (that was around 8pm).Now,the man started complaining to me how whether he brings money or not how his wife keeps complaining and he said he's pitying Nigerian men who are getting married to strange women and giving birth without knowing what they're going into. He looked stressed out and trying to make ends meet but yet his wife added more burden, not just financially but mentally. So tell me how this kind of stressed man won't die out so sooner than later. He was lucky somehow that one of his children got a scholarship to study in India.

(2) I attended a friend's wedding and to my utmost shock both fathers of the celebrants are late. Only their moms are still alive while other relatives represented their fathers. So I was wondering how their moms are still alive while their fathers are late.
Some may say men marry younger women that's why they die out but from the mothers of those celebrants they're not up to 60 years, so how much age difference that will make the two men be late?

Im saying this because I have noticed lots of people esp men are passing through a lot of stress, please men don't allow your wives, siblings or anything infact to overstress you to the point of dying out in time. We men aren't super beings, try to take things easy.

Just my 2cents, bye.

God I just want to cry. God bless your soul brother.

Amarisco:


Climate*

i wrote clime and not climate, it is what it is.

I was billed to visit my parents in a far place and i called my mom that i was visiting, she said i should buy something for her when coming. My mode of transportation was by flight of which i had to borrow money from friends to pay ticket since i was down financially.

I told my mum i didnt have any cash on me to buy stuff when coming and she said i should have entered public transport instead.

She wanted me to risk my life on the road for kidnappers and bandits just to squeeze out money to buy something. I told her look, it is either you want to see me or you dont see me and i send the money for the flight to her instead.

To cut the long story short, she saw that i was smarter and she said seeing me was more important.

Guys, please, you first!

drimzsmoke:


If we continue with this habit of using phones or any other gadgets without reading their manual,we won't get the best out of them.This habit has to stop

Bros,when a woman talk say you no dey do anything,no give her word literal meaning,it might just be yesterday wey you no do wetyn she want but na so she go talk am.If you no get patience,the way them they talk go just dey vex you...Abeg try this for a change,when next she talk am,just dey look like puppy wey never chop(sober),no try defend yourself cause the matter go just escalate.After she don talk finish,tell her say make she no vex,ask her wetyn you do gangan and how you go fit make up for am.Bros abeg try this 1 for a change,then get back to me

when you marry come get pikin you go know how far

cbrezy:


I'm really scared my dad is heading to 70's and my mum is the type that never contributed in our life financially but she's also ungrateful if my dad give her money and she's always complaining that my dad should complete our house in the village when she know that things are not going well for him, and my dad lose his first born son in 2018 from a strange health condition or attack and my dad was even scammed by spiritualist and even people who called their self Pastors and this has been hurting my dad but my mum keep pressuring him.

only u can help your dad, call your mum tell her that anything happens to your dad u would hold her responsible and that she will do the burial herself, believe me she will calm down

Amarisco:



I made a statement, gave you the references to scientific papers - not gossip magazines - that supported the statement to enable you do your own wider reading, and now you want me to copy and paste excerpts for you. Who are you?

Why not ask me to knit you a blanket too so I can read them out to you as a bedtime story.

At age 19 you don’t know how to read or follow up on research and you have the audacity to be simulating a false online reality of what it would feel like to be a whole professor. Are you feeling fine?

Stay in school pumpkin.

I would advise you to check the back of your secondary school textbooks or your university handouts to know what a citation really is.

according to google, this is what a citation means

...a quotation from or reference to a book, paper, or author, especially in a scholarly work....

You have made zero quotations since you made your still unfounded claims, and when you were asked to do so, you started throwing tantrums like a 4 year old child. And no, copying and pasting links are not genuine quotation, in case you needed that to be pointed out for you.
And thats not all, you pasted links to US surveys to judge a Nigerian situation and problem. From First World to developing world. Who is fooling who here?? Seems someone doesn't understand simple demographics and how they work.

Do tell, who needs to go back to school?? The boy who is simply asking for evidence backing the opinion he found on the net, or an aunty who doesn't know what simple citation and demographics are??

No need to be sentimental please, calmly make your reply to my questions (if you can)

Amarisco:



I made a statement, gave you the references to scientific papers - not gossip magazines - that supported the statement to enable you do your own wider reading, and now you want me to copy and paste excerpts for you. Who are you?

Why not ask me to knit you a blanket too so I can read them out to you as a bedtime story.

At age 19 you don’t know how to read or follow up on research and you have the audacity to be simulating a false online reality of what it would feel like to be a whole professor. Are you feeling fine?

Stay in school pumpkin.

Keep shut you this woman, you have zero idea of what you are even saying. Only fools think they know everything. Compare your reply to his, which sounds more collected and intelligent??
Typical woman, switching to tantrums when their argument falls in the face of logic
if you are possibly a man behind this account then you should be more ashamed

WinningEleven:

I would advise you to check the back of your secondary school textbooks or your university handouts to know what a citation really is.

according to google, this is what a citation means



You have made zero quotations since you made your still unfounded claims, and when you were asked to do so, you started throwing tantrums like a 4 year old child. And no, copying and pasting links are not genuine quotation, in case you needed that to be pointed out for you.
And thats not all, you pasted links to US surveys to judge a Nigerian situation and problem. From First World to developing world. Who is fooling who here?? Seems someone doesn't understand simple demographics and how they work.

Do tell, who needs to go back to school?? The boy who is simply asking for evidence backing the opinion he found on the net, or an aunty who doesn't know what simple citation and demographics are??

No need to be sentimental please, calmly make your reply to my questions (if you can)

WinningEleven:

I would advise you to check the back of your secondary school textbooks or your university handouts to know what a citation really is.

according to google, this is what a citation means



You have made zero quotations since you made your still unfounded claims, and when you were asked to do so, you started throwing tantrums like a 4 year old child. And no, copying and pasting links are not genuine quotation, in case you needed that to be pointed out for you.
And thats not all, you pasted links to US surveys to judge a Nigerian situation and problem. From First World to developing world. Who is fooling who here?? Seems someone doesn't understand simple demographics and how they work.

Do tell, who needs to go back to school?? The boy who is simply asking for evidence backing the opinion he found on the net, or an aunty who doesn't know what simple citation and demographics are??

No need to be sentimental please, calmly make your reply to my questions (if you can)

There was a caught ooooo

Small small abeg, dont expose her again

WinningEleven:

I would advise you to check the back of your secondary school textbooks or your university handouts to know what a citation really is.

according to google, this is what a citation means



You have made zero quotations since you made your still unfounded claims, and when you were asked to do so, you started throwing tantrums like a 4 year old child. And no, copying and pasting links are not genuine quotation, in case you needed that to be pointed out for you.
And thats not all, you pasted links to US surveys to judge a Nigerian situation and problem. From First World to developing world. Who is fooling who here?? Seems someone doesn't understand simple demographics and how they work.

Do tell, who needs to go back to school?? The boy who is simply asking for evidence backing the opinion he found on the net, or an aunty who doesn't know what simple citation and demographics are??

No need to be sentimental please, calmly make your reply to my questions (if you can)

yep, she had no clue of what she was saying.
dont waste time on people like her on the web. uninformed folks forming prof

Well said

Davidonkonsults:
Don't kill yourself for that lazy ungrateful gender. Enjoy your life. Save for your old age. You won't lack companions. It's a poor man that can be simping for fear of being alone in old age.

Honestly! I spend very well on my kids' education and upkeep. I spend well to keep and maintain my home. I also spend well on my personal well-being and happiness. Of course, I know my kids still have, and will continue to have more sympathy for their mother now and later, but I'm carrying out my Biblical and social responsibility to them all. Nonetheless, I owe myself enormous responsibility as well to gladden my own heart wen I need to. I always strike the balance. Mi ò lè wáá kú!

Amarisco:


Unfortunately for you, the scientific world doesn’t care about your opinion. Which is what your comment is full of and empty of any academic research.

Furthermore, though generalisability is always an issue, no research is flawless. That doesn’t discount the findings bro.

& if you think that gender roles in the 21st century are ‘miles apart in every instance*’ which you probably meant to say instead of indices, then we no longer need to have this discussion.

I do not discount the findings in the US. But That's where it ends. Much of that research is not practicable or actionable in Nigeria. our realities are different.
Social research such as these are location bound. You can't stretch it beyond it's locality else you may run into hasty generalization .

For instance, I read in one of the research that women are more likely to seek therapy. You really want to draw that down to Nigeria? How many psychotherapist do we have in Nigeria? You really think an average Nigerian, male or female will pay money to talk to a therapists? I work in a hospital, it's a struggle to convince people to even honor medical appointments.
I read something about a gender pay gap. That again does not exist in Nigeria. So it is purely a US problem. In fact it is still a strongly contested issue in US from what I gathered

Unless you have data from research done in Nigeria, your overall argument is merely an opinion, don't state it as fact.

Again, this discussion isn't about gender roles, I have said nothing about gender roles. But since you brought it up, as a society, we still firmly believe in gender roles. Women still want to cook and clean, men still want to be providers. The argument has always been for men to be more supportive at home, and for women to support financially. Only few who identify as feminists in Nigeria are trying to do away with gender roles. A microscopic few I might add....... This is purely my opinion though

GenBuhari:
If it was me I had advise the uber driver to look for some other business, nobody is making a living wage from driving Uber.
Do you know the cost of foodstuff alone these days? And you want her to be grateful for #3000?

Read what you typed again and again.

Marry an unproductive wife and you will understand the difference between Sokoto and Shokoto...

Osobi32:
Nothing in this world is worth the stress and I will never allow any woman to stress me. Despite the stress men go through and the sacrifices they make on daily basis to make ends meet and to provide for the family, it will shock u to know that ur children will always choose their mother over u. The thought of this alone dey pain me! I came across a post on Facebook two days ago where a guy said he had 500k to share btwn his parent and that he need an advice on how to share the money...... I was surprised at the response I saw. 95% of the comments was for him to give his mom 450k and give the father 50k. Honestly I dropped tears

Its quite unfortunate for men bro
The thing is our fathers would never tell us what they go through do you know that many children thinks its their mum that provides food for the family just because she is the one they always see in the kitchen and who always serve food to the family
Again most women would make sure everybody in the house including the kids knows her 1kobo has been used to take care of the family.

So much pressure on the man...His immediate family His wife's family his own family friends and other relatives are all on him most especially when the man is seeing small money.

Bro I can go on and on but this issue they burst my brain and I deh vex for our fathers somehow cos they will never tell us how these things deh be from early
someone like me only got to understand what my father went through only when I became a husband and a father too Its just too long a time before I understand their pains.

WinningEleven:

I would advise you to check the back of your secondary school textbooks or your university handouts to know what a citation really is.

according to google, this is what a citation means



You have made zero quotations since you made your still unfounded claims, and when you were asked to do so, you started throwing tantrums like a 4 year old child. And no, copying and pasting links are not genuine quotation, in case you needed that to be pointed out for you.
And thats not all, you pasted links to US surveys to judge a Nigerian situation and problem. From First World to developing world. Who is fooling who here?? Seems someone doesn't understand simple demographics and how they work.

Do tell, who needs to go back to school?? The boy who is simply asking for evidence backing the opinion he found on the net, or an aunty who doesn't know what simple citation and demographics are??

No need to be sentimental please, calmly make your reply to my questions (if you can)

You see, you did not even read that definition well. Pay attention to detail, it says quotation OR reference and I referenced the papers. You don’t want to accept the research because of the premises stated, no problem. I’d just like to see you back your own claims.

You keep mentioning generalisability, which is a very basic and feeble critique attributed to ALL research. You think that every research based decision is based upon the sole and unique population of which that decision effects? OK

Stop expunging far too much energy on this.

Amarisco:


Climate*

Oh God... You brought This here?

DrayZee:

Is academic research required for one to know that American (or other nation) based statistics may not necessarily hold true in Nigeria?
Your “findings” are not pointless to this discussion, but it’s not out of place to think that the results would be very different if data used was obtained from here.
That said, the general conclusion is correct. Women seek help in better ways than men, and there are better support systems to help women out, which they take advantage of.
I wonder what prompted you to begin stating how women go through more in a thread that just wants men to do better for themselves.

I’m going back and forth with about 10 different men talking about how Nigeria is a different place, and quite frankly - not necessarily holding true does not automatically invalidate research or the deductions based on them.

The OP made numerous comments about men being more stressed. I just gave scientific context

Yes, women do have more adaptive coping strategies.

S1MP:


Keep shut you this woman, you have zero idea of what you are even saying. Only fools think they know everything. Compare your reply to his, which sounds more collected and intelligent??
Typical woman, switching to tantrums when their argument falls in the face of logic
if you are possibly a man behind this account then you should be more ashamed

Stop dickriding and find your own cause to fight for

30naira:


I do not discount the findings in the US. But That's where it ends. Much of that research is not practicable or actionable in Nigeria. our realities are different.
Social research such as these are location bound. You can't stretch it beyond it's locality else you may run into hasty generalization .

For instance, I read in one of the research that women are more likely to seek therapy. You really want to draw that down to Nigeria? How many psychotherapist do we have in Nigeria? You really think an average Nigerian, male or female will pay money to talk to a therapists? I work in a hospital, it's a struggle to convince people to even honor medical appointments.
I read something about a gender pay gap. That again does not exist in Nigeria. So it is purely a US problem. In fact it is still a strongly contested issue in US from what I gathered

Unless you have data from research done in Nigeria, your overall argument is merely an opinion, don't state it as fact.

Again, this discussion isn't about gender roles, I have said nothing about gender roles. But since you brought it up, as a society, we still firmly believe in gender roles. Women still want to cook and clean, men still want to be providers. The argument has always been for men to be more supportive at home, and for women to support financially. Only few who identify as feminists in Nigeria are trying to do away with gender roles. A microscopic few I might add....... This is purely my opinion though

Firstly,
Regarding the epistle on generalisability - OK. I’m not going to keep repeating myself on that aspect. If you can evidence that the research is automatically non relatable to Nigeria - please do so.

Secondly,
No gender pay gap? Please can you share the stats/data you saw on that with me.

In fact please also the Nigerian data that informed you on your following staments

Men as every bit as likely to seek health care as women. Women are not paid less than men in Nigeria. Men discuss their problems, they just don't nag about it.

Thirdly,
We are talking about the behaviours of different genders, which would most certainly also include gender roles which inform those behaviours.

Furthermore, saying that Nigeria still believes in gender roles is not really accurate. All nations have gender roles - as it’s a social construct, but different types. So what you mean to say is Nigeria still prescribes to traditional gender roles. Whereas USA may have more egalitarian gender roles.

Oh, and thanks for your opinion

Ugandatales:


I knew you would come with an emotional answer. Just answer my simple question.

Thank you prophet Uganda for knowing what I would and wouldn’t do.

Why not do some research around discrimination, glass ceilings, sticky floors, marriage penalty and children penalty. Just do some reading first.

You don’t seem to understand how pay gaps work or are measured and you’re not the only but - at least the angles of some others were a bit more plausible.

I simply refuse to waste any bullet on you.

How icky

Longevity of women is higher than Men, Women have hormones that do stabilize their system. She sleeps and snow, while a little issues keep me awake all night. It very serious issues. I just learned it. No matter the stress of women hormones cushion their stress. But men are not that way. Women are elastic. You can drag, stretch and turn up and down , but they still survive. But not so with men. We are different. So we should always take appropriate care of ourselves. Thanks

murphyibiam15:

I wish you luck bro, I hope your wife works too?

She does qualitatively. She is not employed or in business but She contribute her quota to the home and I appreciate that... although, I wish she is able to bring more in term of money but "This is Nigeria".

Amarisco:


Then find your own sources stating otherwise and stop yanning dust

Hello, you dont have to be rude.