truthsayer009:


What you wrote here is not true, having legally married wives is way less expensive and safer than having multiple girlfriends.

How many times do you hear of Rich Muslim men cheating on their partners? They don't have time for that. See Ahmen Musa, immediately he sees a woman he really likes and his wife agrees, he marries her.

I can't convince you, but I can assure you that what you think is 100 percent wrong.

You mean like the senators that get caught in hotels with small girls? Or the rich Northern elites that are sponsors to Southern christian girls? Smh again!

pocohantas:


You mean like the senators that get caught in hotels with small girls? Or the rich Northern elites that are sponsors to Southern christian girls? Smh again!

Abeg leave Nigerian politicians, those ones are maritally useless. The ones that aren't useless make up for it in extreme evil wickedness like Tinubu, so abeg

HenryThegreat1:

Can you now relate this with the methods our churches conduct wedding Especially deeper bible church.

Your church weddings are not according to the Bible but of your churches and their doctrines.

paragon40:
As a matter of fact under the Yoruba Native Law and Custom a woman is a property of the Husband.

The same is obtainable in much of patriarchal Nigeria. Women in marriage are property under traditional law and so any woman going in blindly into such a contract does so to her detriment.

OmoEpe:
Sure I have female children I won't want to see suffer but demonizing God's concept of marriage just because some are abused isn't right either.

I am sorry, God's concept of marriage? What is that?

FlipModeSquade:
Since when is concubines and wives one and the same thing?

That is presuming that all he has to do is pick a woman off the street and have her live with him and tradition is cool with that..Which is a big fat lie..

If as you claim he can pick up CONCUBINES OFF the street..

WHAT prevents him from doing same,even if he is in a monogamous marriage?

Since all he has to do is pick them off the street?

Concubines off the street? What the heck are you talking about?

When dealing with many of our traditional marriage laws, wives and concubines as acceptable partners in a marriage. The term "monogamous" means nothing to such laws.

DEMZEE:
Wats the marriage and divorce rate in Nigeria and wats the marriage and divorce rates in western societies??

What does the divorce rated which are rumored to be about the same at this point , got to do with this now? Divorce rate has nothing to do with family value abeg!

Again, the question was what family values do you refer to that are not observed in the western setting?

WHITELIGHTER:


While the other benefits women ONLY...

A loving husband should know what is right to do

DEMZEE:
So women need law and conditions to be polyandry wen men naturally are polygamous by nature.

Men have been marrying many women since the dawn of human history cross-culturally. Women have been sharing men since the dawn of human history

Wrong! This is not about nature at all but about restrictive laws that shackle women to arrangements which onlu favor men.

In our patriarchal system, the laws are set against women engaging in polyandry however the law allows for men to engage in polygamy. Other than that, women have also been engaging in multiple relationships since the dawn of time,only they tend to do so in hiding because of laws set against their freedoms.

ityP:



It was even shocking to see that most that attacked him were women. So these women are OK with not legally establishing their marriages? Eye go clear them soon

Upon say I'm there fellow woman oo

DaInferno:
let's agree to disagree- that this are different views, and no matter how beautiful it may seem, you and I and the rest of my colleagues (society) will have different opinions. You could also have a tainted view. What's wrong is wrong; simple!

This discussion isn't one where different views can be correct in this. Either you accept the facts or you chose to live in denial of them...and the fact is traditional marriage laws are polygamous by default and so are not of great advantage to women who prefer monogamy.

Godbless3:
Traditional, court and church are the same thing but Nigerians (Africans) just like to over do.
ATM is for us, white wedding as the name implies is for the white and court wedding is for government that they can compel the two party to carter for child incase they go separate way.
But we nigerians dey pack all do. And just like these are nuthead pastors are who think God give them right to bless a union or approve it when it is actually the parents of the groom and bride that mantle fall on just dey over use christian head.
Just like they will never accept that the baptism you do in another church before change church is not genuine and forget that you were baptise in Christ and not in church name.

They are not the same in any form.
These are completely different marriage contracts we are talking about here.

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

Respect!!! You are right

Biglittlelois:
Where is it explicitly stated that all traditional marriages is automatic polygamy or adultery approved? Show us proof, link pls, don't just spew your own opinion as fact.

Oga cool down. If you want legal protection on your marriage go & register your marriage with a court o.

truthsayer009:
The traditional laws may not block it, but the women involved are totally against it. I mean, are men going to marry stones? How do I convince the women I want to marry that I want to be traditional, the conversation is dead on arrival..

You need to visit reality a bit more often!

A woman objecting to polygamy does not stop her husband from attempting it though. There are so many women out there today who had polygamy foisted on them - helpless and unable to do anything about it simply because they opted for a traditional marriage agreement, sometimes in addition to the court option.

So suggesting that women don't want to share their men means polygamy won't happen to them is deceit or seriously deep levels of ignorance.

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

My problem is including just Church like is only Church goers ( because I rarely see Christians around lately in Nigeria) that exist or get married or the post is made for.

What about other religions ( Muslims, Eckist, Olumbas, etc).

Whether Polygamy or Monogamy it all balls down to understanding, agreement involved and the ability of the man ( husband ) to comfortably provide and take care of his home.

Kobojunkie:
You need to visit reality a bit more often!

A woman objecting to polygamy does not stop her husband from attempting it though. There are so many women out there today who had polygamy foisted on them - helpless and unable to do anything about it simply because they opted for a traditional marriage agreement, sometimes in addition to the court option.

So suggesting that women don't want to share their men means polygamy won't happen to them is deceit or seriously deep levels of ignorance.

Its not a matter of ignorance. A woman who is educated and has something going for herself will not accept polygamy. You will have to divorce the woman and settle with someone else of less status than her.

Women only accept anything when they don't have a choice.

Its not by talking on Nairaland, go out there and try to convince a woman who has her life together that you want to be polygamous. Lets see how far you go.

Except you want to have secret concubines, side chics outside of your marriage, then okay. But official wife? Mba.

ityP:



It was even shocking to see that most that attacked him were women. So these women are OK with not legally establishing their marriages? Eye go clear them soon

Makes you really wonder how their brain works. Very confusing set of beings

Kobojunkie:
They are not the same in any form.
These are completely different marriage contracts we are talking about here.

At the end, they all must be registered with the govt.
Its just about understanding bro.
The only people that give consent to marraige is the both family after that are just mere formalities to satisfy organization.
To satisfy church, you do church wedding (white wedding),
To satisfy the law and govt, you do court marraige.

Were is church wedding stated in d Bible?

maureensylvia:


Upon say I'm there fellow woman oo

No mind them

luluman:
Oga cool down. If you want legal protection on your marriage go & register your marriage with a court o.

if you are married u will know dat dere is not called church marriage

pembisco:

You are daft so you can't actually understand

you are the very daft and and senseless person when any of ur family members get married traditionally advise them to b messing around bloody tool

truthsayer009:
Its not a matter of ignorance. A woman who is educated and has something going for herself will not accept polygamy. You will have to divorce the woman and settle with someone else of less status than her.

Women only accept anything when they don't have a choice.

Its not by talking on Nairaland, go out there and try to convince a woman who has her life together that you want to be polygamous. Lets see how far you go.

Except you want to have secret concubines, side chips outside of your marriage, then okay. But official wife? Mba.

So long as your educated women opt for a traditional marriage contract, the only thing she can do is leave her marriage of her own, if she objects to her husband bringing in concubines and other wives which he is entitled to under traditional law. No educated women who does not want polygamy would opt for a traditional marriage contract is what you should have said instead.

Nigerian society is a patriarchal one meaning the opinions of a woman holds little to no value even in her own marriage even it comes to what her man wants, and this has been the reality since the time of our ancestors. So, you need to again visit reality more frequently please. What a woman wants and what she typically gets, especially where marriage and Nigeria are concerned, are most often not always the same thing.

Godbless3:

At the end, they all must be registered with the govt.
Its just about understanding bro.
The only people that give consent to marraige is the both family after that are just mere formalities to satisfy organization.
To satisfy church, you do church wedding (white wedding),
To satisfy the law and govt, you do court marraige.

Wrong! Again, we are talking here of different contracts here.

A traditional marraige contract which gives a man free reign as to number of partners he wants is not the same as a court marriage contract which restricts the same man to only one partner.

maureensylvia:
Only women who are married monogamously under the marriage act (in court or in an approved church) have the right to say “My husband is cheating on me”! If you are only married traditionally, your husband never vowed to be faithful to you!

when you are married only under native law and custom your husband has the right to marry as many wives as he wants and there is NOTHING you can do about it. Also your children belong to him custody wise under native law and custom.

Constrictive criticism is allowed

Traditional marriage, is the real marriage. Do you do marriage rites during White wedding?
Sisterly, be calming down.

Kobojunkie:
Concubines off the street? What the heck are you talking about?

When dealing with many of our traditional marriage laws, wives and concubines as acceptable partners in a marriage. The term "monogamous" means nothing to such laws.

You have to be specific what you are talking about..

I know for a fact that WIVES and CONCUBINES are not one and the same thing under traditional laws..

Atleast not in Igboland where am from..

One entails a ceremony that recognizes her as a SPOUSE..

The other entails no such ceremony..

And being picked up from the streets is an APT term in such a situation..

And if you can be picked up from the streets and co habit with a married man..

WHAT is then the difference whether the man is in a monogamous or a polygamous marriage?

niri:
if you are married u will know dat dere is not called church marriage

Just go to court if you want legal backing. That's all.

FlipModeSquade:
You have to be specific what you are talking about..
I know for a fact that WIVES and CONCUBINES are not one and the same thing under traditional laws..
Atleast not in Igboland where am from..
One entails a ceremony that recognizes her as a SPOUSE..
The other entails no such ceremony..
And being picked up from the streets is an APT term in such a situation..
And if you can be picked up from the streets and co habit with a married man..
WHAT is then the difference whether the man is in a monogamous or a polygamous marriage?

I am not entirely certain where exactly you are going with this. The OP stated that those women who opt for a traditional marriage have no use to complain of their husbands cheating on them or marrying additional wives. Why? Since traditional marriages recognize concubines and other wives as part of the agreement.

So?

Kobojunkie:
So long as your educated women opt for a traditional marriage contract, the only thing she can do is leave her marriage of her own, if she objects to her husband bringing in concubines and other wives which he is entitled to under traditional law. No educated women who does not want polygamy would opt for a traditional marriage contract is what you should have said instead.

Nigerian society is a patriarchal one meaning the opinions of a woman holds little to no value even in her own marriage even it comes to what her man wants, and this has been the reality since the time of our ancestors. So, you need to again visit reality more frequently please. What a woman wants and what she typically gets, especially where marriage and Nigeria are concerned, are most often not always the same thing.

To be fair, only a bunch of ignorant women would actually get married without court marriage in 2021.

All this talk of traditional marriage doesn't hold water unless you want to pick a girl from the village. Then no problem.

Kobojunkie:
Wrong! Again, we are talking here of different contracts here.

A traditional marraige contract which gives a man free reign as to number of partners he wants is not the same as a court marriage contract which restricts the same man to only one partner.

A traditional contract doesn't give a man free reign to marry many wives.
Its just your view on it.
The court marraige doesn't compel a man to 1 partner but just protect the wife future and the child incase of divorce.
A legally binding marraige (court) can also involve a divorce and there is no law that said a man can't be legally marry to wives in court.
Quote that section of the 9ja constitution for me.
Every marraige, be it court, church or TM must be properly be registered with appropriet body and what is happening here is a fail system.
We see how whites and celebrity take their marraige to private island and only friends and family witness, but will register and hold same legal power