Dear Nairalanders

There is this issue that is bothering my mind, I have promise to be faithful to my wife and always let her know whatever comes in for me.
But the problem is that I always tell her how money is spent, and whenever I present list for whatever we buy and all other expenses, but each time she sees anything like I sent 10k to my mother, she always pick up fight with me, and I have not been biased, I send money to her mother too.

I don't know why she is acting like this, and It doesn't make me a happy man at home.
Please I need your advice on what I can do, I don't want to hide anything from my wife.

Don't hide anything important.. but don't disclose everything sha..

So if you buy boxers and singlet you will now go and tell her too??

She's just naturally greedy.. you need to understand your wife and follow her the way she is to avoid getting issues with her..

Make I no just talk wetin dey my mind...


Shey na my mama wey spend over 10000USD on me years ago to help me become successful plus fasting, prayers, ideas na him woman go come go dey beef?


If my mother wasnt responsible, I might not have made it.

But she won't be mad if you send her own mother money..guy always remember this mother of yours suffered to train u ..if u b tout she no go marry you o and the money u are talking about na you dey earn am o..na that same mother wey train u, ur wife come dey vex say u dey send money. Ogede mama ti wo cocoa eh yeh tan oti wan di igi buruku loju iyawo eh..oga ur wife is greedy, heartless ,wicked,self centered and a bad person..am sure she doesn't tell u when ever she transfers money to her own parents o ..just tell her what ever she thinks/do to her mother in law today shall be done to her by her daughter in-laws..in a nut shell don't tell her when ever you give you mum money..inshort I Don vex this early morning

Is she also telling/showing you her monthly expenses and how she forward money to her folks to or ur just being a fool here?? cuz I can't seem to understand when it becomes ur duty to send her parent money every month

The way so called married men come on here and tell us their story like 10yr old kids get as e dey irritate my sex organ

You're the problem here bro, MOST YOU TELL HER YOU SENT MONEY TO YOUR MOTHER WHAT TYPE OF MAN ARE YOU? I didn't say you shouldn't open with your wife, don't relate your family issue with her, you send 50k to your mother, father, siblings etc. Tell her you sent 2k and enjoying your wife sample. Moreover I don't discussed those kind issue with my wife, if you want happy home. I spent my money the way I want it, but i make sure my wife, children don't lack anything that's most important thing. Good luck.

officialmario:
Dear Nairalanders
There is this issue that is bothering my mind, I have promise to be faithful to my wife and always let her know whatever comes in for me.

Please I need your advice on what I can do, I don't want to hide anything from my wife.

Next time. Send money only to her mum and write it in your list and show her. Exclude your own mum. Your wife's reaction if you don't send anything to your mum will tell you who your wife is.

2ndly does your wife also tell you everything how money is spent? Does she tell you about the one she sends to her mum and siblings same way you do?

You are not equal partners in marriage. The Bible called you head of family for a reason.

As a head of an organization, there are things you simply keep to yourself without telling your subordinates so the organization can move forward

demoBaba:
You're the problem here bro, I didn't say you shouldn't open with your wife, don't relate your family issue with her, you send 50k to your mother, father, siblings etc. Tell her you sent 2k and enjoying your wife sample. Moreover I don't discussed those kind issue with my wife, if you want happy home. I spent my money the way I want it, but i make sure my wife, children don't lack anything that's most important thing. Good luck.

Sadly such mistakes happen when we men fail to make our GF or spouse know their place and boundaries. who on Earth is that girl that would question how my money is spent?? if i've paid bride price, I got no business anymore sending that family money. how dare my GF open my fridge without my consent?? or spouse shouting on my junior sis either she's right or wrong??

MarketDispatch:


Next time. Send money only to her mum and write it in your list and show her. Exclude your own mum. Your wife's reaction if you don't send anything to your mum will tell you who your wife is.

2ndly does your wife also tell you everything how money is spent? Does she tell you about the one she sends to her mum and siblings same way you do?

The issue is that I always give her money to send to her mum too, she is loyal to me, although she is not working right now, but she still save little that I give her, I can't really say if she has been sending money to her mom secretly.

Next time don't tell her you are sending anything

garriAndsugar:
Don't hide anything important.. but don't disclose everything sha..

So if you buy boxers and singlet you will now go and tell her too??

She's just naturally greedy.. you need to understand your wife and follow her the way she is to avoid getting issues with her..

Something about her is that, if I buy a boxer I have to buy her a pant too, just to make it perfect, if I don't buy her own, it's going to be war.

gamesix:
Next time don't tell her you are sending anything

She will still know even if I don't tell her

tyup:


Sadly such mistakes happen when we men fail to make our GF or wife know their place and boundaries. who on Earth is that girl that would question how my money is spent?? if i've paid bride price, I got no business anymore sending that family money

There is no way they will not come with family issues, even when you have paid the bride price, it is still part of responsibility.

officialmario:


She will still know even if I don't tell her

How?

saheedbadmus:
But she won't be mad if you send her own mother money..guy always remember this mother of yours suffered to train u ..if u b tout she no go marry you o and the money u are talking about na you dey earn am o..na that same mother wey train u, ur wife come dey vex say u dey send money. Ogede mama ti wo cocoa eh yeh tan oti wan di igi buruku loju iyawo eh..oga ur wife is greedy, heartless ,wicked,self centered and a bad person..am sure she doesn't tell u when ever she transfers money to her own parents o ..just tell her what ever she thinks/do to her mother in law today shall be done to her by her daughter in-laws..in a nut shell don't tell her when ever you give you mum money..inshort I Don vex this early morning

Don't vex Bros
Thanks for the advice

Raalsalghul:


How?

She will know through the already prepared budget.

Whenever you want to send to your mum, make sure it is the same day you want to send to her mum.


If she complains, no send to her mum. If she doesn't, I think she has a familiar spirit.

Better still, whenever she complains, ask her if she will prefer you locked up your finances than being open to her since she doesn't like it. If she is not trying to change, lock up the details, send to your mum without her knowledge.

yomi007k:


Make I no just talk wetin dey my mind...


Shey na my mama wey spend over 10000USD on me years ago to help me become successful plus fasting, prayers, ideas na him woman go come go dey beef?


If my mother wasnt responsible, I might not
have made it.

You made a good point chief

Anybody wey dey vex for good thing, na WITCH.

Dude you just a SIMP Period!!! As a man,you need to possess that aura,ego,manliness and authority over your gf/fiance/wife.Am a god cause i was created in the image of GOD.Never let any woman lord over you,even your mother.Always show that authority as a man,let your wife know her place,but do so in a romantic but firm way.

Use your discretion and avoid mentioning money spent on your family.

If i may ask, does her family receive from you the same time you give to your family? Let it be the same time that both families receive your financial support, increase the one you are sending to your mom and tell her you sent money to both families without disclosing the amount.

If she insists to know tell her jokingly to ask her mom, definitely she's not gonna ask your mom.

Is she a working class lady?

You're not to disclose such information regarding your family to her. Nonetheless, prepare her sack letter, in case her case (envy) worsens.

beautyhd:
Use your discretion and avoid mentioning money spent on uour family.

If i may ask, does her family receive from you too?

Yes sir

gasparpisciotta:
Anybody wey dey vex for good thing, na WITCH.

Hmmmmmmmm

There's really nothing you can do now.
Your wife is possessed and a sick bitch! A good wife embraces her mother-in-law

But this one frowning is a sick terrible which!

Op, talk to your wife. Let her know that your mother put so much effort, resources and time into making you the man you are today. Not forgetting the daily prayers. Same way you care about her is the same way you care about your mother.

Try to find out why she's always sad when you send money to your mother. Does she have silent 'beef' with your mother? Maybe your mother wasn't 100% in support of the marriage or has said something that annoyed her. If she opens up, beg her to forgive and forget. If she doesn't, tell her you also love your mother and cannot abandon her simply because you're married.

Number 2 option: buy her something. When she's in jolly good mood, make the transfer. She 'might' not get angry.

Alternatively, you can hide this from her. Tell her that your salary was slashed by so and so percentage, then remove that percentage every month for your mother. (I don't know how long you'll do this, seeing that she's a wife and not a girlfriend. And you have to be transparent in your marriage . Again, if she's really smart, she will know what's up, which might become a bigger problem.)

Remember, it's your home and your wife and you understand her better.

Also, don't forget that some people who will give you advice today (like the one who's saying a GF cannot open his fridge without his consent) are kids who just finished WAEC and have access to smartphones. Take everything anyone says here with a pinch of salt.

Mrnakeina:
There's really nothing you can do now.
Your wife is possessed and a sick bitch! A good wife embraces her mother-in-law

But this one frowning is a sick terrible which!

He brought his wife here for you kids to dissect and examine does not warrant this name calling.

As as how na..... Baba family is family..... Momci na momci...sake of say I send money for my mom u go want make I do same to her family, datz impossible. Infact my wife's family is never my responsibility and will never be my responsibility. For God sakes who does dat?? Make I nor lie u o ...... My wife family na once Dem go receive assistance dat is during festive period on the 24th of December.

The information you have provided is insufficient to proffer any meaningful suggestion.

Who makes the money - a dual career family? Do you operate a joint account? Do you both work with a predefined monthly budget?

If your answer is yes to the above questions, then it is only proper to send money to both "parents" at the same time.

I used the word "parents" because I don't understand why some of you think fathers don't deserve to be pampered at old age. If you were lucky enough to have a father that prioritized your education and wellbeing, you should also be responsible enough to send money to your father. If you fail to do this, then start preparing for your (own) grand abandonment at old age.

You must have been seeing some of the signs before marriage, she didn't just grow to be like this one day to start questioning or getting upset about you sending money to your mother. Anyway the only way out right now is to sit her down and tell her face to face to stop the act and pray she does. She probably doesn't like your mother that much from the start and that's a big problem.

A good advice from a lady but my dear do you know why I won't follow your advice If I was the guy, mothers are called iya for a simple reason in yoruba (they endure hardship and go through pains 'iya' ) just to see their children succeed in life and wife's AYA (when things become unbearable aya man yani meaning some wife's would leave their marriages all In the name of mi o lewa ku , only few women would stay and does women are the IYAWO . Some women are naturally wicked and greedy ..that's one of the main reasons I advice mean not to marry ladies raised by single mother..not that they are wicked or bad but they have a kind of upbringing and thinking that makes them greedy and only care for them selves and their mother alone..

KimberlyWest:
Op, talk to your wife. Let her know that your mother put so much effort, resources and time into making you the man you are today. Not forgetting the daily prayers. Same way you care about her is the same way you care about your mother.

Try to find out why she's always sad when you send money to your mother. Does she have silent 'beef' with your mother? Maybe your mother wasn't 100% in support of the marriage or has said something that annoyed her. If she opens up, beg her to forgive and forget. If she doesn't, tell her you also love your mother and cannot abandon her simply because you're married.

Number 2 option: buy her something. When she's in jolly good mood, make the transfer. She 'might' not get angry.

Alternatively, you can hide this from her. Tell her that your salary was slashed by so and so percentage, then remove that percentage every month for your mother. (I don't know how long you'll do this, seeing that she's a wife and not a girlfriend. And you have to be transparent in your marriage . Again, if she's really smart, she will know what's up, which might become a bigger problem.)

Remember, it's your home and your wife and you understand her better.

Also, don't forget that some people who will give you advice today (like the one who's saying a GF cannot open his fridge without his consent) are kids who just finished WAEC and have access to smartphones. Take everything anyone says here with a pinch of salt.