You still no answer the woman question. You just confused the woman more.

Just remember the time the love of my life asked me the same question they asked you. Me that is expert in lying. the kind eyes they take look me I beginning to confess.

I love this update. thank u man.

Very stubborn

Na man you be true true, but you suppose be an honest sinner now.
Why didn't you man up and tell her wetin dey sup

~~~FIFTY~EIGHT~~~
~DEDICATED TO MY STEPHANIE FANS~



"Guy guess who I saw today..." Collins screamed as soon as he stepped into the house, he had gone to the market to shop for the weekend.

"Who be that?" I asked.



"Guy you no tell me say you go soon be father na..." He added.


"Guy which kind of dirty yarn be that na?" I begin para.



"Guy I saw Stephanie for market today and she's pregnant.."



"Pregnant? As how? When?" I asked so many questions as my heart began beating mercilessly.


"Na the same question I wan come ask you nah. Like when last you straff her cause the belly don big oh, e fit reach that kind four months." He asked me.





"Guy which kin mumu question be this? Abeg free me biko, she call my name?"



"Yes oh, she say make I greet you. Say make you try come see her very soon." He replied.



"See her say who die? Abi na me be the father?"




"If you go her house, una go discuss na. Me I don pass the message across."

He said as he went to stock the fridge.

"Na dirty yarns you just drop so, as far as she no say I dey responsible, e no concern me, by the way she knows where I live, so them for don come track me since na." I comforted myself.



"Maybe she want make the belly go far so that you no go fit try comot am again." Collins teased me as I chased him around the house with multiple pillows and enough swear words to send this post down. Hahahaha.


Even though I dey form strong man, I was busy permutating all night long. I dey reason am, I wear condom or not? Was the belly introduced the same period when I introduced my blokus also? Was she pregnant already before I nack her?




And then I was greatful that I pulled out after that first encounter, maybe na me for the bear that cross now.

Na why I no dey too drag things wey no dey come my side.

If God say na my own, na just matter of time... E go show....





~EXTENDED UPDATE~

Over the course of Stephanie pregnancy, I avoided her completely. I didn't want to put funny thoughts in any one's head.


And then the child was born, sources said it was a bouncing baby girl, and then the girl took her papa face, say na just Stephanie eyes the pikin get.




Naso I weak like wetin..... I had to wait for like two months extra with a beating heart. When nobody come find me for house, I picked up my squad, Victor, Collins, Francis, Sabo and Philip... And like the furtutious wise men, we matched to Stephanie's house bearing gifts and fruits.



She was glad to see us all, and offered us a bench in the compound, she informed us that her mum was bathing the baby, so make we chill small.



Stephanie wey her papa na pastor, I wonder how she take cope for house sowtey her mama dey bath pikin, well na her first grand child, so which parents no go happy after all the para.



That ten minutes wait was one of the longest in my life, when the pikin show, I rush her like bread, as I point torch, she no resemble me one bit, na so I begin smile dey ginger dey baby oo, sweat just dey drop from my body....


God no go shame us...


I don't wanna talk about Stephanie again, na why I wrap up her chapter make una know as the goings dey be.


Well na one brother for Abuja dey responsible, he accepted the pregnancy but Stephanie still dey stay her parents house, the guy sends money for upkeep.


And then her Daughter is adorable.... Her grandmother dey drag the girl with Stephanie. The woman too like her Grand pikin. Naso the matter go......

How I wish make I know how to use stickers for nairaland I for dash you the one with correct knocking for head. After you turn person pikin to Grandma down under-finish the matter wan come gel together you dey Dodge head if I catch you ehn I go beat you like when thugs wan claim motor garage

iamehmakute:


Well, he over responded sef. My person would just be smiling and be looking at her. Only when she becomes provoking would I just drop few words while excusing myself in the most polite way I could provide at the said time.
Other than that I would never lie. if eventually I should start smoking and I'm being confronted about it. I would admit to it. Anything wey go make me dey hide do, I no dey do am..

But op na 000 you don do dey us for a while now, I even reason say you go make this one 011 to compensate us.
all the same i appreciate you effort in this selfless service, I don include you for people wey I go buy jet for wen my money come.

Guy no reason am, wetin this light matter don carry my eyes see eh, I don weak die....


Anyway I wan drop another update again...

Make una dey manage am dey go...


Abeg when the money dey come na? Na when Sapa kill me first?

Hungerbadoo:
Uduak na man u be, twale for you.

I hail you too bruh....

Kawo9ze:
Love this last update Uduak

Thanks man, hope you'll like the next one ....

Cylovee:
You still no answer the woman question. You just confused the woman more.

Just remember the time the love of my life asked me the same question they asked you. Me that is expert in lying. the kind eyes they take look me I beginning to confess.

How you take answer the love of your life?

Whyzaid:
Na man you be true true, but you suppose be an honest sinner now.
Why didn't you man up and tell her wetin dey sup

When she no be God? She doesn't deserve an answer....

Mummytoo:
Very stubborn

Hahahahahaha. I get coconut head, I no dey hear word.

Carterj007:
I love this update. thank u man.

Thanks man...

New update loaded.....

~~~FIFTY~NINE~~~

E get one thing with hungry, hungry dey fry afro punk into Jerry coils cause you go dey finger your hair as the worms for your belly dey finger you.


My little salary wey I dey make from lessons was delayed that month and brother man don broke die, na only airtime and data remain for my phone, thanks to splendid online friends wey I get.



I come dey reason which kin food I go fit chop to survive till I see salary, nothing dey house at all. Nobody to call sef.


I come dey reason like the prodigal son, atleast no place like home, I no fit beg before them give me something for house na.

I quickly called my sister to arrange some supplies for me cause I dey come visit that evening. As she inform me say my papa don travel, e sweet me for belly.


The issue na how to reach my parents house. If I take bike, na 10-15 minutes journey, so imagine how many minutes I go use trek, then couple with the fact that I haven't eaten since morning.


Omor all die na die, I activated my trekking strength and started jogging at first, then I reduced to brisk walking, then slow walking.


I almost dey crawl when I reach my parents house, my eyes dey see double.

As my sister dey open door, naso I dey pass go direct to kitchen. Come see me dey ransack pots like rat.

Mumsy come meet me dey swallow food for dining table. She pack hand put for waist dey look me.


"Uduak have you been sick?" She asked me.


"No, why did you ask?"



"See bones everywhere on your neck. Have you been eating? Do you have money?"



"Mummy calm down na, I'm okay. I just reduced my eating ration, you know say I no dey work, so I dey manage."




"Then come back home."


"Mummy, we don pass this matter. Na house I leave, I no kill person. Allow me find my own path in life." I cried out as she kept mute again.


She went to the kitchen and started cooking. I joined her as we spent hours gisting and catching up life on both sides.



"Have you called your father?" She suddenly asked me.



"Why do you think he'll pick my calls when he doesn't even talk to me when he's around?" I fired back.


"You can't compare phone call with real life. Just call and greet him." She encouraged.



"I will, but I no get credit now." I replied.


She stared at me and shook her head, then went inside and got a recharge card for me.


The food she was cooking was also for me, she turn all for flask, come give me enough provisions to last a month if that Collins doesn't exist, she make me plug almost all the vegetables for her garden, I come dey wonder who wan cook all these things.




My kid sister had hidden my extra package outside, so she retrieved it as she walked me to the road.


I was ashamed to asked them for bike money, so I collected the leather my kid sis was holding and bade her farewell, naso I start another missionary journey home.


Even though my shoulders felt like a ton and my fingers bite with pain, and my stomach was already empty again, I felt good cause I brought enough goodies back.....



I felt Joy.... nothing but Joy......














~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was sleeping on the couch one evening when someone woke me up with a flask of food.

I opened my eyes to see Ruth's neice smiling at me.

"Good evening. I brought food for you."




"Why?" I asked but she had already darted out of the house.


I wondered where Collins had gone to. Everywhere was just open, person fit thief me join if they wanted to.

I went back to the flask and checked the contents as my eyes watered. Fried rice, chicken and fried plantain. Today should be my birthday, I guess.

But wait oh, why would that girl bring food for me? You sure say no be wrong person she come give, even when Ruth was around, na she dey bring food herself for me, then it clicked...



Could it be that my Ruth is back?


But we spoke the previous night, and she told me that she still have a month left, so why would her neice bring food for me?

Well even though na person own, I suppose partake small, so I grabbed one meat and covered the flask back.

Atleast if the girl comes for the food, I no too lose.


Quickly I swipe my phone and called Ruth, her line was switched off so I laid back on the chair and continued sleeping but this time I hide my phone very well.



A familiar perfume warfed into my nostrils as a hand touched me. I slowly turned and opened my eyes as Ruth planted a kiss on my lips.


Despite my subconscious state, I still had the thoughts of keeping my mouth shut as she kissed me, na sleep I wake from, I sure say my mouth go dey smell, she poked my ribs hard causing me to open my mouth as we kissed properly for like two minutes.


"Damn, girl, tell me I'm dreaming?"

I said as I stood up and embraced her. Babe don fresh like tomato Jos.


"Na me oh, no be your dream." She replied as we rocked ourselves.


"Abuja has been good to you, my Love. I missed you." I said slowly.



"Wow, where did that come from?" Ruth said detaching from my grasp after a spoke, suprise written all over her face.


"What's that?" I asked genuinely confused.


"You used the Love word on me." She said blushing.

"Ohhhh, oh.. hahahaha. Come on My Love. Get used to it baby girl." I said as she blushed harder.



You see, Ruth and I don't use the L word on each other, and that's one reason why I cherished her, she was just comfortable that I'm her man, she didn't care if I said "I love you" or not, my attention on her shows that she's at the top of the chart, me calling her Love was due to the too much missing.


I couldn't help it, as I saw her, one tap of joy just exploded in my heart as new blood just dey pump steadily into my heart. I miss her eh, I miss her....




"Why did you not eat the food that my niece brought?" She asked when she checked the flask.




"Cause I was waiting for you, e don tey wey we chop together." I replied.


"Uhhhhh, how did you know that I'm around?"





"Nobody brings food for me, if no be you." I replied as she went to grab plate and spoons.


We spent our evening catching up with events, she told me about all the magas wey she use dey cash out for Abuja, no wonder she pure and fresh die.



Abuja sugar daddies, I hail ooooo. I know say una chop, but atleast una upgrade my baby, see as everywhere stew....





We didn't have sex though.... She had to rush back home cause her mother was already disturbing her with calls.



When she left, a text entered my phone.


I picked it up and my smile immediately turned to a big frown.

The text was from my kid sister.


"Bros, next week is my birthday, hope you'll celebrate it for me as per big bro, I'm hitting my sweet 18, so I'm counting on you."





See me wey no get shi-shi......

I don forget stephanie like dz. Is stephanie dat girl dat was gonna stab wit a knife?

Silentgroper:
I don forget stephanie like dz. Is stephanie dat girl dat was gonna stab wit a knife?

Yes, na she....

Therock5555:
Hello y'all ....



Hope y'all enjoyed the last chapter....




I'm really sorry about the slow updates, my life has been a mini living hell, heat no go allow person rest in the afternoon, mosquito dey chop person like barbecue for night....



E don tey wey I don feel this miserable, so na wetin people for village without light dey pass through.

To worsen matter, AEDC dey inform us say our transformer is unrepairable, so we gats buy new one.

The thing weak everybody body for area. I just dey think how I wan survive reach Christmas....


Hmm. See y'all when I update next.....


Still I Rock.....

As per your little sister birthday, no reason am, as per say Ruth don show, you gats room small package for y'all Lil sister

nothing do you, no man you be,
still you Rock mehn

ashatoda:
How I wish make I know how to use stickers for nairaland I for dash you the one with correct knocking for head. After you turn person pikin to Grandma down under-finish the matter wan come gel together you dey Dodge head if I catch you ehn I go beat you like when thugs wan claim motor garage

Oga pass me your AZ, I dey feel your cappings die.... Hailings bruh...

do4luv14:



As per your little sister birthday, no reason am, as per say Ruth don show, you gats room small package for y'all Lil sister

nothing do you, no man you be,
still you Rock mehn

I see you bruh....

Uduak my man. I don read d update as usual. You do well. your love don come back now, sapa and mosquitoes no suppose dy disturb you again.

Na Man you be Uduak.

Ride on Rocky

THIS CHAPTER NA JUST FOR ME AND MY BABE THOU SHE STILL DEY LAGOS

Therock5555:
~~~FIFTY~NINE~~~

E get one thing with hungry, hungry dey fry afro punk into Jerry coils cause you go dey finger your hair as the worms for your belly dey finger you.


My little salary wey I dey make from lessons was delayed that month and brother man don broke die, na only airtime and data remain for my phone, thanks to splendid online friends wey I get.



I come dey reason which kin food I go fit chop to survive till I see salary, nothing dey house at all. Nobody to call sef.


I come dey reason like the prodigal son, atleast no place like home, I no fit beg before them give me something for house na.

I quickly called my sister to arrange some supplies for me cause I dey come visit that evening. As she inform me say my papa don travel, e sweet me for belly.


The issue na how to reach my parents house. If I take bike, na 10-15 minutes journey, so imagine how many minutes I go use trek, then couple with the fact that I haven't eaten since morning.


Omor all die na die, I activated my trekking strength and started jogging at first, then I reduced to brisk walking, then slow walking.


I almost dey crawl when I reach my parents house, my eyes dey see double.

As my sister dey open door, naso I dey pass go direct to kitchen. Come see me dey ransack pots like rat.

Mumsy come meet me dey swallow food for dining table. She pack hand put for waist dey look me.


"Uduak have you been sick?" She asked me.


"No, why did you ask?"



"See bones everywhere on your neck. Have you been eating? Do you have money?"



"Mummy calm down na, I'm okay. I just reduced my eating ration, you know say I no dey work, so I dey manage."




"Then come back home."


"Mummy, we don pass this matter. Na house I leave, I no kill person. Allow me find my own path in life." I cried out as she kept mute again.


She went to the kitchen and started cooking. I joined her as we spent hours gisting and catching up life on both sides.



"Have you called your father?" She suddenly asked me.



"Why do you think he'll pick my calls when he doesn't even talk to me when he's around?" I fired back.


"You can't compare phone call with real life. Just call and greet him." She encouraged.



"I will, but I no get credit now." I replied.


She stared at me and shook her head, then went inside and got a recharge card for me.


The food she was cooking was also for me, she turn all for flask, come give me enough provisions to last a month if that Collins doesn't exist, she make me plug almost all the vegetables for her garden, I come dey wonder who wan cook all these things.




My kid sister had hidden my extra package outside, so she retrieved it as she walked me to the road.


I was ashamed to asked them for bike money, so I collected the leather my kid sis was holding and bade her farewell, naso I start another missionary journey home.


Even though my shoulders felt like a ton and my fingers bite with pain, and my stomach was already empty again, I felt good cause I brought enough goodies back.....



I felt Joy.... nothing but Joy......














~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was sleeping on the couch one evening when someone woke me up with a flask of food.

I opened my eyes to see Ruth's neice smiling at me.

"Good evening. I brought food for you."




"Why?" I asked but she had already darted out of the house.


I wondered where Collins had gone to. Everywhere was just open, person fit thief me join if they wanted to.

I went back to the flask and checked the contents as my eyes watered. Fried rice, chicken and fried plantain. Today should be my birthday, I guess.

But wait oh, why would that girl bring food for me? You sure say no be wrong person she come give, even when Ruth was around, na she dey bring food herself for me, then it clicked...



Could it be that my Ruth is back?


But we spoke the previous night, and she told me that she still have a month left, so why would her neice bring food for me?

Well even though na person own, I suppose partake small, so I grabbed one meat and covered the flask back.

Atleast if the girl comes for the food, I no too lose.


Quickly I swipe my phone and called Ruth, her line was switched off so I laid back on the chair and continued sleeping but this time I hide my phone very well.



A familiar perfume warfed into my nostrils as a hand touched me. I slowly turned and opened my eyes as Ruth planted a kiss on my lips.


Despite my subconscious state, I still had the thoughts of keeping my mouth shut as she kissed me, na sleep I wake from, I sure say my mouth go dey smell, she poked my ribs hard causing me to open my mouth as we kissed properly for like two minutes.


"Damn, girl, tell me I'm dreaming?"

I said as I stood up and embraced her. Babe don fresh like tomato Jos.


"Na me oh, no be your dream." She replied as we rocked ourselves.


"Abuja has been good to you, my Love. I missed you." I said slowly.



"Wow, where did that come from?" Ruth said detaching from my grasp after a spoke, suprise written all over her face.


"What's that?" I asked genuinely confused.


"You used the Love word on me." She said blushing.

"Ohhhh, oh.. hahahaha. Come on My Love. Get used to it baby girl." I said as she blushed harder.



You see, Ruth and I don't use the L word on each other, and that's one reason why I cherished her, she was just comfortable that I'm her man, she didn't care if I said "I love you" or not, my attention on her shows that she's at the top of the chart, me calling her Love was due to the too much missing.


I couldn't help it, as I saw her, one tap of joy just exploded in my heart as new blood just dey pump steadily into my heart. I miss her eh, I miss her....




"Why did you not eat the food that my niece brought?" She asked when she checked the flask.




"Cause I was waiting for you, e don tey wey we chop together." I replied.


"Uhhhhh, how did you know that I'm around?"





"Nobody brings food for me, if no be you." I replied as she went to grab plate and spoons.


We spent our evening catching up with events, she told me about all the magas wey she use dey cash out for Abuja, no wonder she pure and fresh die.



Abuja sugar daddies, I hail ooooo. I know say una chop, but atleast una upgrade my baby, see as everywhere stew....





We didn't have sex though.... She had to rush back home cause her mother was already disturbing her with calls.



When she left, a text entered my phone.


I picked it up and my smile immediately turned to a big frown.

The text was from my kid sister.


"Bros, next week is my birthday, hope you'll celebrate it for me as per big bro, I'm hitting my sweet 18, so I'm counting on you."





See me wey no get shi-shi......

WAACUT:
THIS CHAPTER NA JUST FOR ME AND MY BABE THOU SHE STILL DEY LAGOS

whatcha
no repeat this kind quote again, if you no wanna make ah

Ruthless Ruth our main chic is back.

my dear in as much as i come here to read daily news here on nairaland .......
i have never seen anyone so stupid and foolish like baba olowo d long prick....
i can bet my left whole full balls he is currently chilling with his old friend half kilo the half baked fool....
the both of them are clowns in the making....
waisting away time instead of using their god forsaken useless talents to make so much money like our beloved LINDA IKEJI...
the ill proposed fools are busy twerking to mismanagement of funds and keeps starving the public of their most useless but funny pidgin comedy series.....
just as our false prophet always says....
i see baba olowo d long prick getting married to LINDA IKEJI this year....
i see half kilo getting brutal mass beatings this year....
i see seun seriously awaiting the second coming and arrival of baba olowo d long prick comedy series this year....
this i have seen.....

Omo men

After reading from chapter 1 reach 59, within 12 hours, guy i must cut cap give ya.

You na better guy, ur tori dey do me totori.... omo i know wetin to yarn sef. Abeg keep up the good work.

I 4 don go hustle u transformer, if not 4 broke ass way i b (lol). No fear, AEDC go carry transformer come 2morrow abi na 2day sef. Omo maka go crash jare

@WAACUT, I use God beg you, no ever try this kind thing again. How you go just quote the full episode? You no try walai

Therock5555:



Thanks man, hope you'll like the next one ....

Ehn even if stephanie chapter don close after the baby don grow, you still fit chop steph again cuz she go don thick more!
Though I no want steph to be close like dat buh na you be thy writer, so all is well.....

Soon God will shower his blessings on you uduak, am glad Ruth is back.

WAACUT:
THIS CHAPTER NA JUST FOR ME AND MY BABE THOU SHE STILL DEY LAGOS

Na reason why you quote whole chapter?!!

In short...