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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? (31242 Views)
I Love My Wife & My Kid, But I Want To Leave The Marriage. Help! / The Marriage List Given To A Man In Akwa Ibom State / I Told My Husband That I Cheated On Him. Now He Wants A Divorce. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Munzy14(m): 2:13pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
9 VintageCocktail: Nigerian couples no dey reason vacations at all...I mean mention that to them, what you will hear is in this buhari time? I wonder if it was yaradua's era or the weak Tinubu time ahead.. There are affordable and serene places couples can go and spend days together...just be free a bit in their own world..Give the body and brain a treat. Anyway, i forgot it is only for couples who see themselves first, before the kids...And not like the ones who claim the kid is theirs, leaving me to wonder if the other partner donated sperm or eggs.. Ndi woke 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by VintageCocktail(m): 2:19pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Munzy14:This is not about arguments. "Enjoying in life" is different from "enjoying in marriages". Your perspective is saying that "women" enjoys most in marriage and I said no, generally women enjoys most in life not in marriage. Your distinction should be "mothers enjoys at the later stage of their life due to their children". Which is predominantly accepted. As an academic, it is good to make this distinction for clarity. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by VintageCocktail(m): 2:23pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Munzy14:Quite sad and we will keep loosing marriages. Everybody has a breaking point and if care is not taken, boom....the marriage goes and spectators applauds maniacally as always |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Munzy14(m): 2:23pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
VintageCocktail:Same thing twisted in seperate forms. |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Munzy14(m): 2:26pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
VintageCocktail:Two must agree, for it to work. As man, my wife first, together we take care of the offsprings....This mentality will give a bond for life.. This will make you do things you do for love and trust. And not feeling like a bruise alpha when it is something done out of love. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 2:29pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Munzy14: Our mothers and grandmother did it gang You have still not answered the question. Just give an insight to how a woman with a full time job should do it without any single help whatsoever. She's working on the island and lives on the mainland. And the children school on the mainland. Don't beat about the bush. Just explain. Your mum went on her lunch break to watch you guys. Ok. So how do I go from VI to surulere or gbagada during my lunch break. Your mum was probably working next door and didn't face this Lagos traffic. But you want to use her situation to judge today's situation. You don't sound very smart. It's obvious you don't live in the real world. In your head, you are naively describing an ideal situation. Open your eyes and look around you! You are not in the 80s man. 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by SarutobiEky(m): 2:30pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Grandmeister:: on the norms |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 2:35pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
fxexperts: Please don't use this coconut head to marry somebody's daughter o. Because this kind of head is incapable of reasoning properly, if this is what you can come up with. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Lush100(m): 2:41pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Must you work on the island. You think when u marry, u will not sit down with ur hobby and discuss the most viable working option for yourselves. U just carry ur bag and go to island. No na, even if u were working on the island b4 marrage u guys must have discussed about how feasible ur job is while in marriage and make provision to make something to work out even if the pay might be lesser or get a house closer by. This ur question is not for robots, Its human being. It's not 4 plus 4 just because u want to arrive at 8. ImaIma1: 1 Like |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 2:50pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Lush100: Oga I work in VI and live on the mainland. I have two kids, so I am not speaking hypothetically like most people here do. I am talking of real life situation in Lagos in 2021. Most job opportunities are on the island. And I have been working since I left high school. It's not easy for someone like that to just quit. I married someone who didn't see it as a problem like most of you guys on this forum. The question was not for you but you jumped in. It's for the person whose mother did it. If he can help me explain instead of using his mother's situation of the 80s to now. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Valuc: 2:56pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Grandmeister:she lost her job was that part of why the family scarttered? Or the man paying for washing machine the only good thing the man did.. what do u need a house help for wen ur wife is not working... Tomorrow now she will accuse the man of doing One thing or the other.. Truth be told .... From her story, it's enough to say she is depressed and she might be suffocating the man or transferring aggression.. wo.. what am I even saying... 1 Like |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Lush100(m): 3:07pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Madam, 1, I never saw ur working in the island as a problem 2. You having a partner that didn't see it as a problem is all that matters. 3. It is where u are having problems in your family/marriage bcoz u work on the island that is the issue. If u and ur hobby is cool with it, what do we want to complain about. If ur hobby is working in borno for example and u see it as a problem, aren't u going to discuss it with him. Aren't u going to find ways that u guys to solve the problem. His mother probably quit the island job and took a mainland job with peace of mind and focused on her family. ImaIma1: |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 3:12pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Farfalla: You are talking to men who believe that being a wife means sitting down for hours and using your hands to wash clothes, using grinding stone or mortar to grind pepper instead of an electric blender, using firewood instead of a gas cooker. Their mothers did it and their grandmothers. So why shouldn't we? It's the mindset of many men on this forum. Many of them cannot accept easy lives for women. But the truth is that, most of the ones who think this way are not married yet or they cannot afford those things, so they demonize it. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 3:16pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Lush100: Who is complaining? Someone is trying to compare olden days Nigeria with present day Nigeria as if they can be compared. And also trying to demonize someone needing help. Most of you guys that always have the solution to all martial issues are either single or inconsiderate. Which one are you? 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Klass99(f): 3:21pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Klass99(f): 3:49pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Farfalla(f): 3:55pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Klass99:7 blessings and 21 kisses to you too. 1 Like |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by v2: 3:58pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Fahdiga:They don't want to be seen as a failure especially when the ex made them feel that way hence they work extra hard. |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by onelovenigeria(m): 4:08pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Klass99:my dear listen, what those people are saying is true ...our mothers are super women and must be praised to high heaven....me for example i tell people that my mother is my God....what our mother of old went through ...ladies of these days can't do....personal i lot my dad over 20 years ago when i was still in jss 3 then and my mother took charge became our all and train her kids and all my young siblings are done with school working and doing business...so what the poster of this post have been doing for her family is awesome and should be encourage .....she only lack help and appreciation from her husband....so please kindly encourage her ,because it a beautiful thing |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by ImaIma1(f): 4:11pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Klass99: Their mothers were superwomen who could be in several locations at the same time. They were omnipresent That is the scope they will use for the women they want to suffer with them. Their mothers did it. Babe sometimes I have their time, plus the mindset is so mind boggling. Funny thing is that I have not met such people in the real world. They must be living under rocks. 3 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Angeldemon: 4:11pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
holocron: YOU HAVE SENSE! Most women nowadays are just extremely selfish and lazy. The abomination that comes out of their minds and mouth is what causes so much divorce nowdays. You will see most of them saying that taking care of their children and family as a whole is slavery and some ill say they should be paid for it. You can imagine. This generation of women are the worst ever. They use their education and careers to destroy themselves thinking its liberation. |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Angeldemon: 4:15pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
ImaIma1: You girls are just lazy nowadays. All the grammar in the world wont change that. why you dont meet men with such mindset in real life is because men nowadays have decided not to tell you babaes anything. They just observe if youre one of these modern mindset kind of girls and decide your not for loongterm plans. Thats why theres an all time high number of single women aging. It has nothing to do with you ladies being wiser. If anything its the foolishness of modern girls that is keeping men away from you all and causing divorces because all the things men used to ignore, and pity you ladies over, they now refuse to ignore it since you girls have decided to become worse. |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by CavemanDefuturo: 4:31pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Marriage is clearly not your priority... Children was, Now you have them and you don't need a man anymore. Say the truth and shame the devil...this is a different generation and we must strive to tell ourselves the truth in order to relieve ourselves the societal burden marriage places on people who don't want to be married or under any control of any sort. Life is not hard... humans made is hard |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by fxexperts: 4:42pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
ImaIma1: Please don't use this fish brain to marry somebody son. you are obviously a kid who knows nothing about married, but be ranting up and down like a deranged dog. |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by MNDY(m): 4:49pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Beze992: Your gender na Adult-Children. Yes, men are logical in reasoning and your gender are emotional in reasoning. |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Farfalla(f): 5:08pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
ImaIma1: The same argument a certain moniker used some time back to explain why he's afraid of modern marriages and I quote: With the shit women do out there. Honestly, I can't cope with it. I care about my mental health. As you can see, the man is scared of whatever mental and psychological anguish he imagines a marriage will bring him, but at the same time glorifying his mother's ability to endure "suffering" in hers. As far as he's concerned, suffering in marriage is acceptable (in fact encouraged) as long as he's not the victim. 3 Likes 1 Share
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Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by Kobojunkie: 5:08pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
DrFunmisticGlow:So Single mothers and fathers around the world over who handle all those things on her own and more are what? |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by BRATISLAVA: 5:21pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Hathor5: As usual, the only sacrifices a man will point out are monetary ones and act as if that is his blood being shed for his family. And men are still surprised that their wives are remembered more than they are in their old age. When will men realize that money isn't everything and that selling his watch to send his daughter to school is his responsibility and not a blood sharing sacrifice? Without the money, what does the man bring to his family? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by fxexperts: 5:27pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
BRATISLAVA: Typically entitlement mentality of the female gender. You are talking as if men pick money from the tree. Is it not their time and effort they put into making such money. And at your bolded. The mother caring for the children and the household is also not a blood sacrifice, but rather is it not her responsibility. You can not go higher by trying to bring other down, it doesn't work that way. |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by BRATISLAVA: 5:36pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
fxexperts: I didn't read past your first line. Usual entitled male rants. Entitlement mentality when everyone works, right? Carry your male chauvinism elsewhere. What is special about having money and using it on your own children? Is it that only men have or make money, that money is their only contribution to the home, and yet men make such a big deal out of it? How can a man be so entitled that without money he is nothing? Money won't buy your kids. It won't buy a happy home either. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by henrymoreshead: 5:37pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
Marriage was never build to make you happy, you design and make your marriage to be a safer and better place..... |
Re: Why Do People Improve Themselves After A Divorce But Not During The Marriage? by fxexperts: 5:41pm On Nov 13, 2021 |
BRATISLAVA: So what can buy happiness or what special role does your female gender offer to the family. Cooking, cleaning or washing of the children cloths, And why cant the female gender see beyond that. I can hire a housemaid to do all that, nothing special about all that. You think its only mothers who play with their kids these days. I for one do play with my kids a lot, when ever i am around, and they prefer me to their mother when ever i am around. You are forgetting father are the ones who advice's and guide the children on the right part. while mother always spoil them. |
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