InvertedHammer:

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She can give him money for haircut, pedicure, manicure and shopping. Afterall she earns more. So why won't she give him? Aren't men and women supposed to be equal again? Or is it only when it is convenient for women? I stand with feminists.

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Caseless:


The reason he needs loan is stated below.

Is this reason not just enough to ask your wife for money? She wanted him to be ambitious and he's doing that via her support. He's not asking for free money, he's asking for loan. She should have granted that and see how he handles the funds before concluding he's less ambitious and only there for her money.


He can get loan from an outsider. Why can't he get that from his wife? Undertaking project does not still show you the guy is ambitious and his only sin is just earning less?

The lady was actually consumed by what she was told before marriage and she came prepared to deal with any demand from him, hence her tough stance.

socialmediaman:
If a woman should agree to marry a man she earns more than, she should marry a man she’s willing to support to become bigger than he was. A woman is there to support a man, and it can come in different forms, like helping him with ideas, running the home, providing financial assistance to build a better future for both of them.

The man’s dreams and ambition must be bigger than hers or at least measure up, else it’s not advisable to marry him. She comes in to help him achieve those dreams and ambition for both of them, and then pass the baton on to their children, ideally.

By marrying a man who cannot measure up in the long run, she crushes him to become her subject rather than the leader he was made for. It often doesn’t work out with his ego and insecurities becoming the biggest problem in the relationship, unless the man agrees to be subdued or relegated.

Munzy14:

The audacity of the hypocrisy in this comment though...give him money for what?...smh.

But a man who earn way higher than the lady, provides for without questioning...

No wonder some men are avoiding marriage like a plaque....

The hypocrisy is on the high side abeg..Some ladies are dangerous...With rebellious mindset.

Man will provide for the family for years, but a day a woman does, serious kasala go burst..

Double0h7:
If she is the breadwinner then she failed in her role, if she loved the man like she claims why wouldn't she build him up and invest in his dreams? Isn't it meant to be their home, two become one and all that?

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

olisaEze:
To this young lady; At least next time you’ll listen when older and more experienced folk advice you.

The foundation of a peaceful marriage is not love but understanding. There’s nothing wrong with marrying a man you earn higher than and everything wrong with marrying someone you have not had a conversation about money with. A very polygamous wiseman after spending lots of cold nights alone on his rooftop once said, "marry wrong and end up a philosopher." Do not be carried away by what society defines as love, life is not a movie.
Oga @Seun I sight you!

Prenonjebose:

Step up as a husband, but not by all means.

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

cococandy:

If their financial needs are met in that arrangement and the responsibilities are fairly allocated, Why should there be friction?
All this telling someone to be honest with themselves Just to avoid admitting that y’all want women who contribute financially while being 100% the home keepers.

Women can see through y’all’s bullshiet. That’s the reason for the friction. You want to eat your cakes and have it.
Consider telling yourself that truth

bukatyne:


You haff taken it personal ke

Is the average woman happy spending on men as men are happy spending on women?

I don't mean on family or bills.....

Just spoiling the man with material stuff or giving him cash gifts?

Just pondering.

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

pompeiimagnus:


Lol....there is actually nothing wrong with a man being an average earner. A primary school male teacher will most likely be an average earner - even after including extra income from home lessons. The wife is a helpmate and should be willing to manage with him if she chooses to marry him. This whole idea of "step up as a husband" is really dumb.

CHoccolaTE:



Honestly, very selfish and entitled people.

Then the idiot will become a millionaire with the money his wife supported him with and still start sleeping around and cheating on her in the name of natural polygamousness.

Imagine what Cubana chief priest said the other day, that it is normal for men to cheat on their wives as long as he keeps the side chick away from his wife. This is how almost all men in Nigeria reason. Imagine financially supporting an entitled turd that thinks cheating in you is normal.
Rubbish

BabaIbo:


She could have supported him in taking steps that will make him bigger, like supporting him financially in any business or investement he wants to do and so on, that will make the man grow and better financially.

If the table were to be turned, he would have done more for her and not coming online to complain or throw blames.

On a lighter note, I like your point of view on this.
Na real man you be.

I like this post, even pocohantas is not wearing her feminist cloth on this post.

I dey wait for one jagbajantis writer wey her name ne iyaebe abi wetin she call herself to come drop her trash as usual.

Starbucks, what is your view(say) on this?

Seun:
For whatever he needs. Men who are rich give money to their wives all the time. If a man is rich and never helps his wife financially I don't think the marriage would work, but it's usually not an issue because men are expected to provide for their wives. I think she was the defacto breadwinner but as a woman society had not equipped her for the role so she failed at it. The same goes for the man. I bet he didn't know how to use seduction to extract cash.

pocohantas:


Nothing irritates me more than stingy people. Ahnahn! You claim to love him, yet you watch him struggle to meet up and survive. He isn’t even supposed to ask!! She has brains and eyes. She can see his needs and should know where to come in!!

How do people act like that and still have the nerve to say they love you? It builds resentment. It was only a matter of time he begins to hate her. Rather than make amends, she is still claiming he is this and that. She should getaut with her money.

It is better to be with an alata that supports you with her N10, than a Linda Ikeji that won’t give you N100,000.

Crossroad1:
rain go fall today

Ladycewhy:
That is what the lady termed "living off" her. If he wants money to develop himself so he can upgrade yes to that but a grown man wanting to be given allowances,money for beer for himself and his friends, clothes and shoes to "gadge up" omo we go re- negotiate the roles.

If you give a woman money,she uses it to build the home cook for you ,take care of the house,you and the kids.

In this case the woman likely uses her money for the upkeep of the house.I cant be using my money to do all that and you still expecting me to give you to dey buga outside.

Kobojunkie:
How did you arrive at the conclusion that she is the breadwinner in her marriage though? Do you assume that in all marriages, the one who earns the bigger paycheck foots all the bills or sometimes?

As for building up and investing in her partner's dreams, shouldn't that depend on how viable she thinks those dreams are? Or do we expect her to simply poor money down a known leaky drain?

Marriage is a contract, and agreement between a man and a woman giving each couple a chance to uniquely design the terms and conditions of their union to suit their desire and need. There are no one-size-fits-all rules where that contract is concerned. And those who know this know peace.

bjtinz:


Indeed. 75k latest Brazilian hair, manicure ati pedicure, latest shoes, bags, iphone 32, etc, which men regularly bankroll are all part of 'upkeep for the house abi'??

No need typing long stories. Seun has said it all.

Seun:
For whatever he needs. Men who are rich give money to their wives all the time. If a man is rich and never helps his wife financially I don't think the marriage would work, but it's usually not an issue because men are expected to provide for their wives. I think she was the defacto breadwinner but as a woman society had not equipped her for the role so she failed at it. The same goes for the man. I bet he didn't know how to use seduction to extract cash.

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

Ladycewhy:
No p me I will give him all that ,but will he cook for me and clean the house ,do home work for the children bath them while all I do is wake up in the morning take my bath and head straight to work where I earn money to give him to buga? Or make I too still do all that one join? I be robot? Person nor dey rest? .


Seun is a person and is entitled to his opinion, a mortal like you and I .

Mayflowa:


Rich men's wives don't do jack! There are lots of housemaid at home. The women are specialist at insulting one househelp to another and sometimes deny them food. So as a rich wife, you must provide househelp for your husband. It seems women want to see men suffer. Meanwhile we want to see our women glowing and stress-free.