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Please I'm At A Crossroad - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Alaji1220: 7:33pm On Nov 20, 2021
quote author=Klass99 post=107805288]I'm thinking a separation at this time might be a good thing, while you focus on your recovery (mental & economic recovery, I mean)

I wasn't clear from your narrative if you're still down on your luck, but if you are, just focus on getting back on your feet before you take your next steps forward.

Let her stay at her parents with the kids for now, I am not sure how long that will last at her end but hold out until she makes the first reconciliation move.

But, how do you feel about all the text messages you've come across? Were you genuinely destabilize by them or you couldn't be bothered? I'm just trying to understand how you have seen chat after chat and still kept your cool till now. Is it because she's been the piper for a while? Meaning no offence to you.....just curious.[/quote]

Felt bad of course...
One was asking her to pick axis to meet.

She actually initiated the move with one man.

The one that infuriate me most is one bleaching with local look that is calling her my baby, guess they had an affair before.

But I'm a little bit toughen emotionally that I did not feel too bad probably because of the worst experience I had back then in 2018

2 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Alaji1220: 7:41pm On Nov 20, 2021
izzou:
I really don't want to dwell much on the issue you have, but what annoys me is why your wife would run to her parents' house whenever there's a misunderstanding.

And what kind of parent would keep their child at home? When it's not a case of domestic violence?

If my future wife tries it just once, that would be the last time she'll step a foot in my apartment.

Very disgusting attitude

I pray you will not marry into a wrong family.

I refused visiting her family twice when we were dating when she was pestering me to come and visit them but since thvday I visited everything changed and I began to follow her like mumu.

The family is bad, I discovered this after marriage. It appears there is a curse on their family. Her elders are not doing well I secure job for one when in that recruiting firm, one other is jobless, the third is not doing one serious job and the only sister she has is in their mothers house with her children and I learnt she has another child with another man later when I married my wife.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Klass99(f): 7:41pm On Nov 20, 2021
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Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by izzou(m): 7:48pm On Nov 20, 2021
Alaji1220:


I pray you will not marry into a wrong family.

I refused visiting her family twice when we were dating when she was pestering me to come and visit them but since thvday I visited everything changed and I began to follow her like mumu.

The family is bad, I discovered this after marriage. It appears there is a curse on their family. Her elders are not doing well I secure job for one when in that recruiting firm, one other is jobless, the third is not doing one serious job and the only sister she has is in their mothers house with her children and I learnt she has another child with another man later when I married my wife.

So sorry, brother.

This one weak me
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by izzou(m): 7:48pm On Nov 20, 2021
Alaji1220:


I pray you will not marry into a wrong family.

I refused visiting her family twice when we were dating when she was pestering me to come and visit them but since thvday I visited everything changed and I began to follow her like mumu.

The family is bad, I discovered this after marriage. It appears there is a curse on their family. Her elders are not doing well I secure job for one when in that recruiting firm, one other is jobless, the third is not doing one serious job and the only sister she has is in their mothers house with her children and I learnt she has another child with another man later when I married my wife.

So sorry, brother.

This one weak me

Is her dad alive?
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by crackhaus: 7:57pm On Nov 20, 2021
Mtcheeeeeeeww...

Pitiful, ball-less, spineless, and full of self-pity...

An advise would be wasted on you.

2 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by sageb: 7:59pm On Nov 20, 2021
ahnie:
On behalf of isoko women....i'm disappointed in you.your wife is fucking around selling sex to highest bidders like someone working in a dredging company.



The reason why you are not progressive is because of your wife's banging outside.


If na Isoko land the husband dey, once the cheating wife cook for him, if she did confess her sins the man will die after eating.
Isoko culture abhors infidelity
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Alaji1220: 8:01pm On Nov 20, 2021
[quote author=izzou post=107807692]

So sorry, brother.

This one weak me

Is her dad alive?
[/quote

He's late.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Alaji1220: 8:05pm On Nov 20, 2021
crackhaus:
Mtcheeeeeeeww...

Pitiful, ball-less, spineless, and full of self-pity...

An advise would be wasted on you.

Brother no one is asking for your pity I only ask for advice from reasonable people. You may feel you are wise until you fall into a situation that we make you look fool.

2 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by RightToReject(m): 8:22pm On Nov 20, 2021
The connotation of your submission shows that you're a wannabe civil, gentle, kind, libertarian man - on a very good day, you're the typical politically correct element like the many that abound on this section of the forum and beyond. Enjoy the vices you enabled from the inception.

Servility is as bad as unfairness/unjust cruelty, say no to both of them - this is my advice.

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by ikennamadu1(m): 8:56pm On Nov 20, 2021
bjprodint1:
If na my village woman,she 4 don run mad,d husband wey know say him wife dey cheat and still dey chop her food 4 don die.its an abomination 4 a woman 2 use d money she got from sleeping with other men 2 cook 4 her husband(my village o).

Arochukwu abi....or east
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by debbydams(f): 9:06pm On Nov 20, 2021
Alaji1220:
I need a very reasonable advice from this wonderful forum.

I got married close to a decade ago and the marriage is blessed with two kids.
Though things were tough at the beginning because wife lost her job and I bore the burden solely for 4 years, we had our st child 5 months after wedding andh the second 2 years later. Lost my job around the time our second kid arrived, we kept struggling with great hope. Around 2017 she connected me with a mam that help with an adhoc work in a recruiting firm, I got their within 2 months I helped madam to secured a marketing job, I managed with the job for like 8 months before it ended. Immediately it ended Madam began to behave funny let's I forget I sold my car to pay for her final year exam and also gave her money to get the certificate all amounting to 250k then. Around 2018 I was thrown back to the labour market and I was shown hell by wife, several calls of men, knew about 4 men through her watssap messages that she had affairs with I always get to see these whenever she fell asleep with her phone in her hand. 2019 I got back on my feet and I noticed she stopped the runs. Meanwhile she made so much money during the period of her escapades because of clients deposit that earned her bonuses at work but squadder a huge sum on travelings which were unsuccessful. She joined another financial institution this year and she handles client that need loan, 2 months after securing the job she started talking of getting car ordinarily I would have discouraged her but being someone that is always resolute in her decision making I quickly wade in so as to safe her from men that may want to take advantage of her as this has happened before I tried to inquire about the source of fund for the car she said she liase with a client to take loan that she will only pay back the principal portion that the client will pay the interest and she will be using all her salary to pay back, before we got the car I told her to go for a lesser car like 700k but she said it's 1m she budget for Nigeria used Toyota Corolla. But since we have got the car madam is so stressed up financially while I take care of all the bills even before she got the car she has not be helpful in the area of bill but only buy food stuff whenever she feels like but since she got the car she's still pestering me to be funding the maintenance of the car she drives to work everyday. I saw her chat with a man like 3 months ago and from the chart she was wooing the man for financial assistance, they arrange a meeting which I'm sure something must have transpired between them I confronted her and she promised not to see him again, my main pro is that in her new office some people around there know me we carried out maintenance work on the car recently that got her to online loan debt and I can observe that she was connecting with some men again for financial help, I got some messages confirming her promiscuity again and I confronted her she began to raise excuse here and there I was so mad with her that she thought I will beat her but thank God I didn't though we kept away from each other for 3 days but on getting home yesterday I discovered she had packed her loads and kids loads and left for her parents house and this should be her 4th time of doing this whenever we have misunderstanding. I love my kids but her attitude is making me to gradually loose the the love I have for these kids. I reported her to her mum she was kneeling down and begging me yesterday but for how long I'm I going to continue with this woman...

Please I need advice that will guide my decision, I only fear for those innocent kids future because she doesn't seem to care about their present well being though she claims all she is doing is to process traveling to secure their future.
your wife is cheating for years and u didn't do anything about it..hummm
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by debbydams(f): 9:09pm On Nov 20, 2021
Alaji1220:


I pray you will not marry into a wrong family.

I refused visiting her family twice when we were dating when she was pestering me to come and visit them but since thvday I visited everything changed and I began to follow her like mumu.

The family is bad, I discovered this after marriage. It appears there is a curse on their family. Her elders are not doing well I secure job for one when in that recruiting firm, one other is jobless, the third is not doing one serious job and the only sister she has is in their mothers house with her children and I learnt she has another child with another man later when I married my wife.
it's good to make background checks before going into marriage..how do u intend to cope with her?
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by JONNYSPUTE(m): 9:36pm On Nov 20, 2021
.....It's a pity how some men go through this kind of shits in their homes and still ask for an advice on what to do.

Op,if after seeing and witnessing all these infidelities from her, you still need an advice then I must say that you are not man enough to take drastic actions.

Most times here i find it difficult to blame married women that misbehave in their homes because it is we men that give them such leaverages.

Be wise bro.

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Arsenate(m): 10:01pm On Nov 20, 2021
It must be fun being the wives of these men who come on this section to ask for solutions to problems you will expect an 18 year old boy with healthy self esteem to solve.
Easy life for these women I tell you.

If the going is rosy, these women will pretend to be loving wives to their husbands, but at the first signs of bumps, they'll just fcckk other men for money. Of course they are confident that their husbands lack the balls to kick them out. Talk about eating your cake and having it. cheesy
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by JONNYSPUTE(m): 10:03pm On Nov 20, 2021
crackhaus:
Mtcheeeeeeeww...

Pitiful, ball-less, spineless, and full of self-pity...

An advise would be wasted on you.
..... The thing tire me too.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by emmanuelbrown26: 10:15pm On Nov 20, 2021
pocohantas:


See ehn, I have gotten to understand that all this fire and brimstones we rain is because we never dey faced with the matter. Let’s not pray to meet temptation that is more than us because no one marries with the plan of ending it after years of suffering together, not forgetting the kids.
I'm just disappointed at this your comment.
waiting u dey yan self, op is just too cold and soft on women and that's why the wife is capitalising on that, when a bitch meets a tough man na she go bend by force.
or should I call op a simp self

1 Like

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by emmanuelbrown26: 10:18pm On Nov 20, 2021
NarcissistKing:


Most married men in his shoes don't always have the courage to leave the marriage. Weak men!
I just don't understand the kind of idiotic boys in the name of men we have this day. Too weak to be called a boy self, just look at what that idiotic op wrote up their.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by AutoChick4U(f): 10:18pm On Nov 20, 2021
Very weak man. He has no respect in his home! Tufia
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Truvelisback(m): 10:22pm On Nov 20, 2021
Ur children will be safe. Just no carry ur wife matter 4 head again.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by NarcissistKing: 10:24pm On Nov 20, 2021
emmanuelbrown26:

I just don't understand the kind of idiotic boys in the name of men we have this day. Too weak to be called a boy self, just look at what that idiotic op wrote up their.

He's too weak. I'm sure she's been exhibiting the behavior when they were courting, but the dude was blinded by stupid love. He should deal with his problem of the mobile brothel he's got as a wife.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by NarcissistKing: 10:26pm On Nov 20, 2021
debbydams:
your wife is cheating for years and u didn't do anything about it..hummm

He was getting his share of the püssy.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by emmanuelbrown26: 10:28pm On Nov 20, 2021
Alaji1220:


I pray you will not marry into a wrong family.

I refused visiting her family twice when we were dating when she was pestering me to come and visit them but since thvday I visited everything changed and I began to follow her like mumu.

The family is bad, I discovered this after marriage. It appears there is a curse on their family. Her elders are not doing well I secure job for one when in that recruiting firm, one other is jobless, the third is not doing one serious job and the only sister she has is in their mothers house with her children and I learnt she has another child with another man later when I married my wife.
Your wife is from either Ogun or Ondo?
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by emmanuelbrown26: 10:32pm On Nov 20, 2021
NarcissistKing:


He's too weak. I'm sure she's been exhibiting the behavior when they were courting, but the dude was blinded by stupid love. He should deal with his problem of the mobile brothel he's got as a wife.
As in ehhhhh, either some father's did not train their male children well or some male children decided to be stupid
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by NarcissistKing: 10:35pm On Nov 20, 2021
emmanuelbrown26:

As in ehhhhh, either some father's did not train their male children well or some male children decided to be stupid

Men like that were being controlled by their parents while growing up, and they dance to the tune of anybody in order to please them.

They are the regular "The boy is good" type.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Nonexisting: 10:37pm On Nov 20, 2021
I read everything and I can only but wonder where these kinds of men come from. My only advice is this brother. Go back home and tell your father exactly this same story and listen to what he will say because if I talk now, people will say I'm not married and I won't understand. If your father is late then listen to this, SEND THAT BITCH AWAY NOW because I don't want to type your RIP soon. I beg you.

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by emmanuelbrown26: 10:41pm On Nov 20, 2021
NarcissistKing:


Men like that were being controlled by their parents while growing up, and they dance to the tune of anybody in order to please them.

They are the regular "The boy is good" type.
I think u are 101% right on this, I hv come to realize that most of mummy's pet are simps in nature bcs they can't take a decision and stand by it.
I remember sometime ago, when my old woman called and started asking me about wife. Mehnnn, I told her immediately that if she wants me to be calling her or if she wants me to be picking her call that should not mention anything marriage, ever since then, nobody dares mention anything marriage to me.
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by NarcissistKing: 10:53pm On Nov 20, 2021
emmanuelbrown26:

I think u are 101% right on this, I hv come to realize that most of mummy's pet are simps in nature bcs they can't take a decision and stand by it.
I remember sometime ago, when my old woman called and started asking me about wife. Mehnnn, I told her immediately that if she wants me to be calling her or if she wants me to be picking her call that should not mention anything marriage, ever since then, nobody dares mention anything marriage to me.

grin grin grin

All my life, I hate bending to rules. Even my parents knows that I can't be subjected to the normal African type of upbringing. You know, being controlled unjustly, being forced to do things against your will. Stuffs like that.

I have an uncle that likes enforcing his own views and wayways on his kids but I was just too stubborn and not cool with such life. I was tagged as a black sheep because I just couldn't be the usual gullible child. I love my life the way I want. And not for once have my parents been invited to the police station because of me.

As a guy you just have to let them know that you can't be subjected to unnecessary stuffs. If not, you'd be like a toy to them even if you could 100. grin
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by NairalandMD: 11:40pm On Nov 20, 2021
@#$
Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Missionaire: 6:36am On Nov 21, 2021
I don't think I have ever insulted someone on this forum before. But oga, you're a slowpoke... a big f**king one and God punish you for making me insult you this beautiful and early Sunday Morning.
What is there to hold onto this marriage again?
Why do cowards in marriages use their children as excuses to cover up their weakness and cowardice when it comes to walking away from a mentally, emotionally and physical abusive relationships?
I mean, you would see a woman still in an abusive marriage and use her kids as excuses of still remaining in that marriage meanwhile, if she dies today, those children would continue living.
How are you even sure that those kids are yours? Better go and do a DNA test.
If you contract deadly STDs from your wife when she returns (because I know you will soon go and beg her to come) or die from HBP, what do you think would happen to those your kids that you're using as a reason to preserve this marriage? Will they die with you? Will they not continue living? Will what will happen nor happen?
People should understand that they can neither love nor protect from their graves when they die and are buried. You can only love and take care of your kids when you are alive so as much as possible, stay alive and in peace outside toxic marriages or relationships whether male or female.
God even punish that your wife's family that would accept your wife and children back without asking questions and inviting you to answer questions and also give you the opportunity to explain.
God punish your family for being so docile that they cannot take proactive actions knowing fully well that your wife and children belong more to your family after all they are bearing your surname.
God punish you for making me insult you this early Sunday morning.

Dear Lord, May the men of the next generation not be as weak as many of this generation.
Tueeh!!!!

2 Likes

Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by crackhaus: 7:19am On Nov 21, 2021
Alaji1220:


Brother no one is asking for your pity I only ask for advice from reasonable people. You may feel you are wise until you fall into a situation that will make you look fool.
It's a good thing you realize that the situation you're in now is making you look like a fool.

No one wishes to find themselves in your situation, and some of us will NEVER be found in it either way... It's not because we're too wise, but because we have the necessary attitude towards women, especially women like your wife.

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Re: Please I'm At A Crossroad by Nobody: 7:53am On Nov 21, 2021
Even the females in the forum are ashamed of you. How low can you go? Surely an advice will be a waste on you. Seriously? Really? You are seeking advice for the obvious? Isn’t it clear that you will still end up suckling to her, since it has not been a 1 time affair. Truth is, you are married to a public toilet. 2nd truth is, you saw all these signs even while dating but choose to ignore or rather simp along. 3rd truth is, you were warned about her by FnF(s), but you ignored their advice and warnings. So tell me, what would NL advice mean after all? Lastly, you know the right thing to do, you are only here seeking for that one validation to encourage your simping attitude. My brother, the lord is your strength. Jisi Ike.

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