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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should She Confess To God Alone? (2120 Views)
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Should She Confess To God Alone? by injuredman: 8:20am On Nov 29, 2021 |
I have a friend whose wife had an inappropriate relationship with a mutual friend of us. The mutual friend is a Catholic priest, and my friend's wife only communicate with this priest when my guy is not home. She deletes most of her WhatsApp chats with this priest. The husband have confronted both his wife and our friend (the priest). The priest has gone incommunicado with the my friend, and even me. My friend's wife has not seen anything wrong with what she did. She only tells the husband that whatever she did wrong, that she has confessed to God. There are so many clues to show that something went wrong between these 2. My question is, does she owe the husband any apology or confession? Or generally put, should a spouse infidelity be left for God or the erring partner should confess for proper healing to take place? |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by frozen70(f): 12:54pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
injuredman: There must be a reason for her actions Once a woman doesn't get satisfied with her man, there is tendencies of misbehaving 2 Likes |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Richy4(m): 1:14pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
But you were not even sure if it was an infidelity... U were simply speculating.... << The wife has not spoken... <<The Mutual friend (Priest) have not said anything to any of you... So how did you know that indeed adulterous act actually took place ![]() 8 Likes |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Nobody: 1:28pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
frozen70: Awk... Buh do those tendencies justify her misbehaviour?? |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Nobody: 1:39pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
Richy4: When a person acts in a manner regarded as suspicious, he/she puts himself or herself in a position that will cause others to misinterprete his/her motive... We can't say for sure whether or not she is cheating, buh her actions are indeed suspicious... Why is she always deleting her chat with that priest?? What is she hiding that she doesn't want her husband to see?? Why is she being defensive and dismissive when confronted about the time she spends with the priest?? And in marriage who should be your greatest confidant, a priest or your spouse?? Back to OP... If my wife were to cheat on me, I'd want to know with whom, when and why, she did it... If she feels that by keeping me in the dark and going to a priest to confess her infidelity she is GOOD TO GO, then she had better make sure she is GOOD TO GO when I eventually find out... And your friend shouldn't conclude yet, he shouldn't even confront her again, let him just quietly observe and gather evidence and if his suspicions are true, then he can use the evidence he has gathered to deal with both of them... 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Richy4(m): 2:02pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
Favfables1:@ Bold, I have lived long enough to know and understand that things were not always the way it seems...Yea it might seems suspicious at the moment but the husband will be in a better position to find out what she was indeed hiding... it might even be something that got nothing to do with cheating.. |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Curiouscity(m): 3:21pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
Richy4: Many people define cheating as when married man or woman has sex with someone who is not his/her spouse only. I think it is more than the physical sex. Any level of intimacy with opposite sex, that your spouse is not supposed to know is cheating. The deleting of the messages shows she is cheating, emotionally or sexually. In fact, some people believe that emotional cheating is worse than sexual cheating. 3 Likes |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Kobojunkie: 3:40pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
Richy4:Help me ask ooo! ![]() |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Kobojunkie: 3:43pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
Curiouscity:How? She could have been talking to the Priest of her sorrows and guilt. How does deleting that constitute emotional cheating abeg? ![]() Since when did deleting messages equate cheating abeg? ![]() 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Richy4(m): 3:59pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
Curiouscity: Yes definitely... I understand what u are saying.. chatting with someone that is not your spouse could be tagged cheating... But while we're on this matter, we should understand the office the priests is occupying.. As a priest, I believe confidentiality is very important.. This situation is like a female patient that sees a male doctor often to discuss about her health issues, chats with him, refused to discuss/ disclose the health problem with the husband... The husband in anger went to confront the doctor to know what his wife was always saying to him/ what they were doing.. If the woman has a spiritual stuffs that she was dealing with, and decided to talk to the priest, and doesn't feel like sharing with the husband, Why would that be tagged as cheating? In your opinion do you think the husband was right to confront the priest... Even when the wife refused to open up to him? They said too much of familiarity breeds contempt... If not that the husband knows that priest as a friend, I'm wondering what will give him such boldness to confront the priest to ask what they were discussing... Not saying that the priest was innocent or guilty but He should gather every evidence first before tarnishing the image of someone who might be innocent.. 4 Likes |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by injuredman: 4:21pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
Richy4:Waooh! Eye opening! Unfortunately, the husband had already suspected these two long before. Since I am not the husband, and didn't have his permission to share more details, I will leave it at that. But like I wrote before, there are more info that prompted the man to confront both wife and the priest. By the way, how does a wife's relationship with a friend to the hubby (be it pope or bishop) become more important than her relationship with her husband? Note that the priest is not in charge of their church, just a friend to the guy. CC kobojunkie 1 Like |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Richy4(m): 4:37pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
injuredman: You asked me a question on Why some women attached so much importance to their spiritual heads,.. I don't know buddy.. I wish I can categorically tell u why... But I guess some grew up seeing their mother behave like that, and they followed her footsteps... That to me is an annoying character.. but hey what can one do? But please let your friend do a proper investigation... They might be innocent in terms of that cheating allegations..in life u give people benefits of the doubt, u don't paint people with the same brush... 2 Likes |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Kobojunkie: 4:37pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
injuredman:We all have confidants, from time to time, even when in relationships and there is no rule written in stone that such a one must be of the same sex or one's own partner. Not everyone in relationships are soul mates or best friends. ![]() Just like you seem your friend's confidant here, there is nothing wrong with his wife having one too. ![]() |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Nobody: 4:54pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
. 7 Likes |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by injuredman: 5:15pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
InTheCloudySky: This one is the one that looks like a Saint outside, but a wolf inside. I had warned this friend when he overlooked his wife's closeness to this priest. Since many of us have this boundaries around our friends' wives, we thought we were good. By the way, most priests in Nigeria are in romantic relationships with multiple girls and women. I am close enough to know, but we blindly assumed our friend is different. 3 Likes |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by injuredman: 5:18pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: I wish I can share more details here. But the evidence is very strong. 1 Like |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Kobojunkie: 5:27pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
injuredman:I can only go off of what you have made known I am afraid. And from your Op, and much, deleting text is no evidence of cheating. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by capnies: 5:37pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
injuredman: SHE SINNED AGAINST HER HUSBAND, IF HER HUSBAND DOES NOT FORGIVE HER, GOD CANNOT FORGIVE HER. SHE FIRST MUST ASK FOR HER HUSBAND FORGIVENESS BEFORE ASKING FOR GOD'S; BUT IF AFTER SEVERAL ATTEMPTS AT BEGGING THE HUSBAND FOR FORGIVENESS HE REFUSES, SHE CAN ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS AND BE FORGIVEN CITING HER NUMEROUS PLEAS TO THE HUSBAND |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by kelechiodo(m): 5:43pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
injuredman: I know the above is where you are heading. No friend or friend's wife or priest is involved. This is a fabricated story. You just want to open a thread where Catholic priests would be castigated. Continue but know that you are too insignificant to hurt the church. Thanks |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Foodqueen(f): 6:00pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
Was the cheating established ![]() |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by injuredman: 6:21pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
kelechiodo: This blind defense of our priests, and generally "men of God" is why the church is messed up with priests acting with all immunity and impunity. If you think that I just open this thread to rubbish an institution I grew up respecting so dearly, may my friend's pain and the disarray this priest brought to his marriage be your portion soonest. AMEN! 2 Likes |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Richy4(m): 7:05pm On Nov 29, 2021 |
injuredman:Bro honestly, the last paragraph was not necessary... Besides, U have been giving out too much innuendo as if u have caught the priest and the woman red handed... It is not fair to use a blanket approach on every priest... The fact that some priest were not keeping to their vows does not mean your friend or all the Priests were doing it... And it doesn't mean that there are no good and upright men of God... In this day and age, we deal with facts.. speculations is in the '90s.. if u really have evidence against your friend's wife with the priest, we will like you to present it and end the endless subtle innuendo already... What could be more than the allegations levelled against her that she was cheating? 1 Like |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by kelechiodo(m): 9:30am On Nov 30, 2021 |
injuredman:May this your vomit and curse be your portion solely. It shall be send back to you a thousand times. It's only a bitter heart and soul that resorts to curse rather than logical explanation. 1 Like |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Boss13: 1:42pm On Nov 30, 2021 |
frozen70: What a shame. Justifying silliness. If the woman is unsatisfied, let her leave her marriage. At least she is free to conduct her affairs as a single woman. 2 Likes |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by injuredman: 4:29am On Dec 01, 2021 |
Kobojunkie: If you are a guy, you introduced your wife to your friend, then later you discovered that that friend is your wife's confidant. It wouldn't raise questions? If you are a woman, your hubby becomes bestie with your female friend behind your back. Does that make sense? Is family family friendship not supposed to be transparent? |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by injuredman: 4:44am On Dec 01, 2021 |
kelechiodo: Lol! You are done defending the indefensible just to look like a good Catholic? Yes, if I am lying or trying to paint the Catholic priesthood bad, the curse is mine. Otherwise, it is yours. Let everyone say Amen! |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by injuredman: 4:48am On Dec 01, 2021 |
Richy4: All these because a priest is involved? If it was an ordinary man, would you wait for all these logic? A wife having conversation with your friend only when you're not around is not a bad sign. The guy must wait to see them banging and moaning? Kai Nigerians! |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Richy4(m): 5:12am On Dec 01, 2021 |
injuredman: ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh!! Okay.... Was that the overwhelming evidence you got? That the Priest and the woman were talking when the husband was not around... Hmmm!! Ok ![]() I thought you got something better.. but hey, it's fine, It is a huge evidence...Infact, your friend can go and report the Priest to his superiors.. so that they can give him a termination letter..if that will make all the parties involved happy.. This is because under no circumstances should a Priest speak to female congregants in their husbands absence.. it is a taboo.. It is unheard of... He should have been meeting only men, boys and husbands for prayers and supports to avoid scandals like this one ![]() |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Kobojunkie: 5:17am On Dec 01, 2021 |
injuredman:so the issue you have is with the confidant being a close friend of the husband? ![]() You would rather the woman had conversed with a stranger that you know absolutely nothing of? ![]() |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by injuredman: 5:42am On Dec 01, 2021 |
Richy4: My OP asked if she doesn't owe the husband an apology. Maybe I shouldn't even bring it here since I don't have the permission to share all that he found. Also, my disappointment in the priest friend is making me upset with people on a faceless forum like this. Yes, my friend is angry, yet he still wants the priest to retain his office. And yes, he has damaging evidence that would affect the Priest's Faculty if reported. Why the deleted chats? Why refusal to address the suspicion? Plus other classified evidences. We are very good at giving out non practical advice, but when we are beneficiaries of such actions we speak differently? My guy is hurting reading some of the comments here, and I feel bad bringing it here. It is shameful and painful enough that he is going through what he is going through in the hands of a wife. Reading through this is another blow to him. |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by Ishilove: 6:02am On Dec 01, 2021 |
This guy never ready to talk. You're giving us a story based on vague allegations that are not fully understood by most people and yet you want completely unbiased commentaries based on your incomplete and detail free narrative. No, many of us will not support your 'friend', neither will we drag to slaughter, like stubborn goats, the suspected wife and priest upon the grimy slab of social media vitriol. Shior. |
Re: Should She Confess To God Alone? by bdchange(m): 6:04am On Dec 01, 2021 |
Richy4:Some of your comments sound funny to me. How long will it take you guys to understand that in marriage, husband and wife comes first. Every other person including your pastor, priest, Imam, Alfa, mother, father, siblings and the rest are secondary. Any issue you want to discuss with any other person should be known first by your partner. She keeps deleting the chats history between herself and the priest and you are saying privacy. Privacy from who? Someone that should be her number one confidant. If the priest is actually truthful to himself and God, he should have informed the wife to carry the husband along immediately. The priest should better marry her if the husband kicks her out. Nonsense and ingredients. |
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