injuredman:
I have a friend whose wife had an inappropriate relationship with a mutual friend of us. The mutual friend is a Catholic priest, and my friend's wife only communicate with this priest when my guy is not home. She deletes most of her WhatsApp chats with this priest. The husband have confronted both his wife and our friend (the priest). The priest has gone incommunicado with the my friend, and even me. My friend's wife has not seen anything wrong with what she did. She only tells the husband that whatever she did wrong, that she has confessed to God. There are so many clues to show that something went wrong between these 2.
My question is, does she owe the husband any apology or confession?
Or generally put, should a spouse infidelity be left for God or the erring partner should confess for proper healing to take place?

frozen70:


There must be a reason for her actions

Once a woman doesn't get satisfied with her man, there is tendencies of misbehaving

Richy4:
But you were not even sure if it was an infidelity... U were simply speculating....
<< The wife has not spoken...
<<The Mutual friend (Priest) have not said anything to any of you...
So how did you know that indeed adulterous act actually took place

Favfables1:


When a person acts in a manner regarded as suspicious, he/she puts himself or herself in a position that will cause others to misinterprete his/her motive...

We can't say for sure whether or not she is cheating, buh her actions are indeed suspicious...

Why is she always deleting her chat with that priest?? What is she hiding that she doesn't want her husband to see?? Why is she being defensive and dismissive when confronted about the time she spends with the priest?? And in marriage who should be your greatest confidant, a priest or your spouse??
..

Richy4:

@ Bold, I have lived long enough to know and understand that things were not always the way it seems...Yea it might seems suspicious at the moment but the husband will be in a better position to find out what she was indeed hiding...
it might even be something that got nothing to do with cheating..

Richy4:
But you were not even sure if it was an infidelity... U were simply speculating....
<< The wife has not spoken...
<<The Mutual friend (Priest) have not said anything to any of you...
So how did you know that indeed adulterous act actually took place

Curiouscity:

Many people define cheating as when married man or woman has sex with someone who is not his/her spouse only. I think it is more than the physical sex. Any level of intimacy with opposite sex, that your spouse is not supposed to know is cheating. The deleting of the messages shows she is cheating, emotionally or sexually.
In fact, some people believe that emotional cheating is worse than sexual cheating.

Curiouscity:


Many people define cheating as when married man or woman has sex with someone who is not his/her spouse only. I think it is more than the physical sex. Any level of intimacy with opposite sex, that your spouse is not supposed to know is cheating. The deleting of the messages shows she is cheating, emotionally or sexually.
In fact, some people believe that emotional cheating is worse than sexual cheating.

Richy4:


Yes definitely... I understand what u are saying.. chatting with someone that is not your spouse could be tagged cheating...

But while we're on this matter, we should understand the office the priests is occupying..
As a priest, I believe confidentiality is very important..

This situation is like a female patient that sees a male doctor often to discuss about her health issues, chats with him, refused to discuss/ disclose the health problem with the husband... The husband in anger went to confront the doctor to know what his wife was always saying to him/ what they were doing..

If the woman has a spiritual stuffs that she was dealing with, and decided to talk to the priest, and doesn't feel like sharing with the husband, Why would that be tagged as cheating? In your opinion do you think the husband was right to confront the priest... Even when the wife refused to open up to him?

They said too much of familiarity breeds contempt... If not that the husband knows that priest as a friend, I'm wondering what will give him such boldness to confront the priest to ask what they were discussing...

Not saying that the priest was innocent or guilty but He should gather every evidence first before tarnishing the image of someone who might be innocent..

injuredman:

Waooh!

Eye opening! Unfortunately, the husband had already suspected these two long before. Since I am not the husband, and didn't have his permission to share more details, I will leave it at that. But like I wrote before, there are more info that prompted the man to confront both wife and the priest.
By the way, how does a wife's relationship with a friend to the hubby (be it pope or bishop) become more important than her relationship with her husband? Note that the priest is not in charge of their church, just a friend to the guy.

injuredman:

Waooh!
Eye opening! Unfortunately, the husband had already suspected these two long before. Since I am not the husband, and didn't have his permission to share more details, I will leave it at that. But like I wrote before, there are more info that prompted the man to confront both wife and the priest.
By the way, how does a wife's relationship with a friend to the hubby (be it pope or bishop) become more important than her relationship with her husband? Note that the priest is not in charge of their church, just a friend to the guy.

InTheCloudySky:
The two major types of cheating/affairs are emotional and sexual affairs. The unecessary closeness and chats between her and the Priest /husband's friend frenemy already indicate they've had an emotional affair, plain and simple. Whether they've had sexual intimacy isn't clear but her deleting the chats, defensiveness, and comment that "whatever she did wrong, that she has confessed to God" are telling that something else happened between them.

If she has cheated, whether it be an emotional or sexual affair, or both, she owes the husband a confession and an apology. However, if she's too stubborn to confess and apologize because she has supposedly confessed to God (when that DOES NOT replace a confession and an apology to her husband), then you've got a manipulative and an unremorseful individual under your belt.

Don't be fooled that because the so-called friend is a Priest, he can do no wrong. There are Priests out there sinning and committing atrocities under the guise of being a Priest.

Kobojunkie:
We all have confidants, from time to time, even when in relationships and there is no rule written in stone that such a one must be of the same sex or one's own partner. Not everyone in relationships are soul mates or best friends.

Just like you seem your friend's confidant here, there is nothing wrong with his wife having one too.

injuredman:
I wish I can share more details here. But the evidence is very strong.

injuredman:
I have a friend whose wife had an inappropriate relationship with a mutual friend of us. The mutual friend is a Catholic priest, and my friend's wife only communicate with this priest when my guy is not home. She deletes most of her WhatsApp chats with this priest. The husband have confronted both his wife and our friend (the priest). The priest has gone incommunicado with the my friend, and even me. My friend's wife has not seen anything wrong with what she did. She only tells the husband that whatever she did wrong, that she has confessed to God. There are so many clues to show that something went wrong between these 2.
My question is, does she owe the husband any apology or confession?
Or generally put, should a spouse infidelity be left for God or the erring partner should confess for proper healing to take place?

injuredman:

By the way, most priests in Nigeria are in romantic relationships with multiple girls and women. I am close enough to know, but we blindly assumed our friend is different.

kelechiodo:


I know the above is where you are heading. No friend or friend's wife or priest is involved. This is a fabricated story. You just want to open a thread where Catholic priests would be castigated. Continue but know that you are too insignificant to hurt the church. Thanks

injuredman:


This blind defense of our priests, and generally "men of God" is why the church is messed up with priests acting with all immunity and impunity.

If you think that I just open this thread to rubbish an institution I grew up respecting so dearly, may my friend's pain and the disarray this priest brought to his marriage be your portion soonest.

AMEN!

injuredman:


This blind defense of our priests, and generally "men of God" is why the church is messed up with priests acting with all immunity and impunity.

If you think that I just open this thread to rubbish an institution I grew up respecting so dearly, may my friend's pain and the disarray this priest brought to his marriage be your portion soonest.

AMEN!

frozen70:


There must be a reason for her actions

Once a woman doesn't get satisfied with her man, there is tendencies of misbehaving

Kobojunkie:
We all have confidants, from time to time, even when in relationships and there is no rule written in stone that such a one must be of the same sex or one's own partner. Not everyone in relationships are soul mates or best friends.

Just like you seem your friend's confidant here, there is nothing wrong with his wife having one too.

kelechiodo:

May this your vomit and curse be your portion solely. It shall be send back to you a thousand times. It's only a bitter heart and soul that resorts to curse rather than logical explanation.

Richy4:

Bro honestly, the last paragraph was not necessary... Besides, U have been giving out too much innuendo as if u have caught the priest and the woman red handed...

It is not fair to use a blanket approach on every priest... The fact that some priest were not keeping to their vows does not mean your friend or all the Priests were doing it... And it doesn't mean that there are no good and upright men of God...

In this day and age, we deal with facts.. speculations is in the '90s.. if u really have evidence against your friend's wife with the priest, we will like you to present it and end the endless subtle innuendo already... What could be more than the allegations levelled against her that she was cheating?

injuredman:


All these because a priest is involved? If it was an ordinary man, would you wait for all these logic? A wife having conversation with your friend only when you're not around is not a bad sign. The guy must wait to see them banging and moaning? Kai Nigerians!

Oh!! Okay.... Was that the overwhelming evidence you got? That the Priest and the woman were talking when the husband was not around... Hmmm!! Ok

I thought you got something better.. but hey, it's fine, It is a huge evidence...Infact, your friend can go and report the Priest to his superiors.. so that they can give him a termination letter..if that will make all the parties involved happy..

This is because under no circumstances should a Priest speak to female congregants in their husbands absence.. it is a taboo.. It is unheard of... He should have been meeting only men, boys and husbands for prayers and supports to avoid scandals like this one ..

injuredman:
If you are a guy, you introduced your wife to your friend, then later you discovered that that friend is your wife's confidant. It wouldn't raise questions? If you are a woman, your hubby becomes bestie with your female friend behind your back. Does that make sense? Is family family friendship not supposed to be transparent?

Richy4:


Oh!! Okay.... Was that the overwhelming evidence you got? That the Priest and the woman were talking when the husband was not around... Hmmm!! Ok

I thought you got something better.. but hey, it's fine, It is a huge evidence...Infact, your friend can go and report the Priest to his superiors.. so that they can give him a termination letter..if that will make all the parties involved happy..

This is because under no circumstances should a Priest speak to female congregants in their husbands absence.. it is a taboo.. It is unheard of... He should have been meeting only men, boys and husbands for prayers and supports to avoid scandals like this one ..

Richy4:


Yes definitely... I understand what u are saying.. chatting with someone that is not your spouse could be tagged cheating...

But while we're on this matter, we should understand the office the priests is occupying..
As a priest, I believe confidentiality is very important..

This situation is like a female patient that sees a male doctor often to discuss about her health issues, chats with him, refused to discuss/ disclose the health problem with the husband... The husband in anger went to confront the doctor to know what his wife was always saying to him/ what they were doing..

If the woman has a spiritual stuffs that she was dealing with, and decided to talk to the priest, and doesn't feel like sharing with the husband, Why would that be tagged as cheating? In your opinion do you think the husband was right to confront the priest... Even when the wife refused to open up to him?

They said too much of familiarity breeds contempt... If not that the husband knows that priest as a friend, I'm wondering what will give him such boldness to confront the priest to ask what they were discussing...

Not saying that the priest was innocent or guilty but He should gather every evidence first before tarnishing the image of someone who might be innocent..