I'm just fed up!
She does things I'll never do and if I do, I'll be the first to call and make up.

She's fond of one silly character ( cutting my call in the middle of our conversation) and that she did again this morning that made me delete her number.

Ok. I did a little renovation in my crib. So I needed a tile cleaner and called her to supply me ( she's into household products). She told me the price and I said ok. Bring it down, so the boys working for me can clean the tiles. She now said, i should pay for her transportation. I was like, why? It's your biz, if you want to sell, sell. besides I'm into production of household cleaners and reagents too. so it's something I can produce but I'm looking at shuttling between going to the market and supervising the ongoing work in my house, the time is not there that was why I said let me buy from her.
So, she insisted I must pay for transportation fare.

This morning, I called her to bring the product that I'll give her part of the T-fare, she said the chemical is not available that she'll have to go and get materials to produce first. So I said i can't wait.
Later I said ok, just come around and play with me, lets just sit together and supervise. I told her to come with her baby so we can play. I now told her not to worry that I'll give her T-fare The next thing she just billed me times two of her T-fair to and fro. I said, for what? She just cut the call.

Now, it's been years she came to my place. Always giving excuses about tending to the children, her business and other duties in the home to which I try to understand. So Ive been the one going there almost twice every week because I have two schools in her area. So, on days I have those schools, it's her place I retire to after school and we would gist till night before I take my leave.
Same thing with calls. Shell hardly call and when I call, she'll take it for granted to the point where any little disagreement or if things are not going her way, she'll cut the call.

When she did it this morning, I got angry and deleted her contact and I want to stop calling her. I think I'm being taken for a fool and she trusts the kinda person I am that once I make a U-turn, it will be difficult to turn back. It's just that I don't have the mind to be angry with someone for long. Before you know, I'll see myself calling her again reason I deleted her number.

How can I detach from her cos it's obvious she detached from me long ago.

I'm thinking of traveling to a far away country. I know then she'll Value and miss me more.

How can I ignore her?
Am I doing the right thing?

So annoying.

She doesn't enjoy your presence, why not let her enjoy your absence..

Give her a little space...

Is she your blood?.... if yes, explain to elders in your house and let them settle things amicably am sure she is nursing some grudges against you and she needs to open up...

And if No.... give her space biko... cut her away...


And remember Jesus loves you... and that's enough...

It's T-fare not T-fair

mr simp,you are doing the right thing.

Tadeknkeepcalm:
It's T-fare not T-fair

Thank you. I typed in anger that was why I didn't notice the rubbish I was typing.

Your twinny?

JoyousFurnitire:
Your twinny?

Yes. My identical twin. One egg.

You are too soft.. Learn to detach yourself from her.
From the write up, I sense you probably not settle down while your twinning been a family woman occupied by a lot of engagement which gave her no commitment on your part.
Nevertheless a time is coming when she will learn to appreciation your effort.
Cheers up

Ebubechuwku:
She doesn't enjoy your presence, why not let her enjoy your absence..

Give her a little space...

Is she your blood?.... if yes, explain to elders in your house and let them settle things amicable am sure she is nursing some grudges against you and she needs to open up...

And if No.... give her space biko... cut her away...


And remember Jesus loves you... and that's enough...

She's my twin!!! Not just a family member. And I reported her severally to our eldest but sometimes they would end up saying, Dem no dey put mouth for twins matter because very soon you guys will settle and I do the settling most times.

Ok, I'll try.

Thanks.
Thanks.

Lol. Mercy you're ranting. You must be really vexed.

She is your twin and you can't throw her away. You will just hav to manage her like that because she is not going to change anytime soon.

Mercychen:


Yes. My identical twin. One egg.

Omo, just be the better person.

Find ways to always make you two happy. If she's vexed or you're vexed with her, find ways to settle the matter.

It is understandable that you expect much from her especially that she should return the love. But na so life be. Just spread love like bama. Often times e no too deep like that.

Think about it, we could die anytime.

I no de put mouth for twins matter

People wey out for Peter and Paul na enemies them be to them now

Let her be. You can do your things without her presence. Focus on yourself and your happiness.

Ishilove:
Lol. Mercy you're ranting. You must be really vexed.

She is your twin and you can't throw her away. You will just hav to manage her like that because she is not going to change anytime soon.

. You're right. It obvious she not going to change soon and that's why I'm looking for ways to move on.

MufasaLion:
Let her be. You can do your things without her presence. Focus on yourself and your happiness.

I wish I can. I don't have friends because from childhood she been my only friend but she has friends so it's easy for her to disconnect.

pastie:
You are too soft.. Learn to detach yourself from her.
From the write up, I sense you probably not settle down while your twinning been a family woman occupied by a lot of engagement which gave her no commitment on your part.
Nevertheless a time is coming when she will learn to appreciation your effort.
Cheers up

Even if I settle down today, I won't cut my family off. That's not life. I mean... What's life without your family?

Ok, dear. Thanks

Mercychen:


I wish I can. I don't have friends because from childhood she been my only friend but she has friends so it's easy for her to disconnect.

You've said it all, "she has friends so it's easy for her to disconnect."

Accept the reality now and know that you ain't kids no more. You can't have her attention the way it was when you were kids.

To her,she may be seeing you as being too clingy......just like the commenter above me said,you aren't kids any more......And she has Probably have new friends,so, losing yours won't mean anything to her....But I still believe,the best and only way out for you is too reduce the attention you use to channel to her...In fact,try dey scarce small.....

Wetin your eyes no see,your mind no go reason about am

Hahahaha this has happened to me so many times,
Thing is, once you love someone, it's really hard to detach from the person easily..

But shaa give it time, let time handle everything

Are you married?

Do you have kids?

I know these are private questions but the answer is key to your dilemma

Sonnobax15:

To her,she may be seeing you as being too clingy......just like the commenter above me said,you aren't kids any more......And she has Probably have new friends,so, losing yours won't mean anything to her....But I still believe,the best and only way out for you is too reduce the attention you use to channel to her...In fact,try dey scarce small.....

Wetin your eyes no see,your mind no go reason about am

I've been trying so hard to be scarce but anytime something happens or a gist comes up, she's the first person that comes to mind because we flow better than other siblings.

I'll try and respect myself.

Mercychen:


I've been trying so hard to be scarce but anytime something happens or a gist comes up, she's the first person that comes to mind because we flow better than other siblings.

I'll try and respect myself.

Please steer clear from her small,at least for your own sanity sake.......... Because if you keep on seeing her as your only option,and your better half,you may likely end up plunging yourself into depression and what I personally call relegation..

Stay safe dear........We,your nairaland fam loves and will always be there for you

seankafor:
Hahahaha this has happened to me so many times,
Thing is, once you love someone, it's really hard to detach from the person easily..

But shaa give it time, let time handle everything

ok. But this one no be love matter o. Na twins bond.

Thanks.

Oblongata:
Are you married?

Do you have kids?

I know these are private questions but the answer is key to your dilemma

Oblongata:
Are you married?

Do you have kids?

I know these are private questions but the answer is key to your dilemma

Yeah.. I know these things are key factors to my dilemma. I know if I were married and saddled with family responsibilities, I won't notice any one self. Just that, that marriage stress and wahala is scary.

Thanks.

Sonnobax15:
Please steer clear from her small,at least for your own sanity sake.......... Because if you keep on seeing her as your only option,and your better half,you may likely end up plunging yourself into depression and what I personally call relegation..

Stay safe dear........We,your nairaland fam loves and will always be there for you

Thanks, dear.
I appreciate the love.

Mercychen:
I'm just fed up!
She does things I'll never do and if I do, I'll be the first to call and make up.

She's fond of one silly character ( cutting my call in the middle of our conversation) and that she did again this morning that made me delete her number.

Ok. I did a little renovation in my crib. So I needed a tile cleaner and called her to supply me ( she's into household products). She told me the price and I said ok. Bring it down, so the boys working for me can clean the tiles. She now said, i should pay for her transportation. I was like, why? It's your biz, you if you want to sell, you sell besides I'm into production of household cleaners and reagents so it's something I can produce but I'm looking at shuttling between going to the market and supervising the ongoing work in my house, the time is not there that was why I said let me buy from her.
So, she insisted I must pay for transportation fare.

This morning, I called her to bring the product that I'll give her part of the T-fare, she said the chemical is not available that she'll have to go and get materials to produce first. So I said i can't wait.
Later I said ok, just come around and play with me, lets just sit together and supervise. I told her to come with her baby so we can play. I now told her not to worry that I'll give her T-fare The next thing she just billed me times two of her T-fair to and fro. I said, for what? She just cut the call.

Now, it's been years she came to my place. Always giving excuses about tending to the children, her business and other duties in the home to which I try to understand. So Ive been the one going there almost twice every week because I have two schools in her area. So, on days I have those schools, it's her place I retire to after school and we would jist till night before I take my leave.
Same thing with calls. Shell hardly call and when I call, she'll take it for granted to the point where any little disagreement or if things are not going her way, she'll cut the call.

When she did it this morning, I got angry and deleted her contact and I want to stop calling her. I think I'm being taken for a fool and she trusts the kinda person I am that once I make a U-turn, it will be difficult to turn back. It's just that I don't have the mind to be angry with someone for long. Before you know, I'll see myself calling her again reason I deleted her number.

How can I detach from her cos it's obvious she detached from me long ago.

I'm thinking of traveling to a far away country. I know then she'll Value and miss me more.

How can I ignore her?
Am I doing the right thing?

So annoying.

U need not be hard on urself nor nurse d thought of her not valuing u or distancing herself away 4rm u, that's far 4rm it. D fact is just dat, u guys shared same placenta, but ur personality differs.

4rm ur narration, u claimed she has friends, but 2 u, she is d only u got; she is even a family woman already, but u are yet 2, such is just one of d mystery abt twin and one of d ways God uses 2 naturally preach 2 us which is, d fact dat two individual shared same placenta (twin) doesn't mean they are destined same way.

Please, don't be mad at her by trying 2 distance urself since that's what u perceive her doing, just keep being ur real sef. U guys are just opposite, personality wise.

So, try and enjoy d similarities u both share while celebrating ur differences, 4 what u are experiencing with her is normal. Just as sm1 earlier said, u both aren't kid anymore, so don't expect d bond u shared while growing up 2 remain dsame as circumstances (life) just av a way of shaping such, d earlier u realize dis, d better.

Save back her contact, and stop being too expectant 4rm her as it's obvious ur expectations are what has been trying 2 grow sm hatred 4 her in u. U reaching out 2 her frequently is what u find comfortable doing, she might not on her own side, that doesn't mean she love or care 4 u less, but means u guys aren't same personality wise.

She's ur blood, don't trade her 4 anything please. U can still talk things out. Visit her as u used 2, in d course of ur gisting, bring up d case nd pour ur heart all out 2 her, let her know how u feel about d way u feel she's treating u, with that, u would be calm. U might even be surprise about her own submission on d issue.

Once again, keep being d sweet self u've always being. Had it be she is an outsider, I would av supported d notion of u distancing urself away 4rm her, but NO, she is ur blood, ur second half.

May God be with u both.

Mercychen:


I've been trying so hard to be scarce but anytime something happens or a gist comes up, she's the first person that comes to mind because we flow better than other siblings.

I'll try and respect myself.

Cultivate such relationship with any other siblings. Or you can simply hold it. Mouth has never exploded from not saying what it wished to say.

The dynamics are observable in some siblings relationships, it's not healthy because as the person no send you na you still de suffer am.

Give yourself time, from 3 days to a week and see how far you can go. Obviously, you won't.

oazeez1991:


U need not be hard on urself nor nurse d thought of her not valuing u or distancing herself away 4rm u, that's far 4rm it. D fact is just dat, u guys shared same placenta, but ur personality differs.

4rm ur narration, u claimed she has friends, but 2 u, she is d only u got; she is even a family woman already, but u are yet 2, such is just one of d mystery abt twin and one of d ways God uses 2 naturally preach 2 us which is, d fact dat two individual shared same placenta (twin) doesn't mean they are destined same way.

Please, don't be mad at her by trying 2 distance urself since that's what u perceive her doing, just keep being ur real sef. U guys are just opposite, personality wise.

So, try and enjoy d similarities u both share while celebrating ur differences, 4 what u are experiencing with her is normal. Just as sm1 earlier said, u both aren't kid anymore, so don't expect d bond u shared while growing up 2 remain dsame as circumstances (life) just av a way of shaping such, d earlier u realize dis, d better.

Save back her contact, and stop being too expectant 4rm her as it's obvious ur expectations are what has been trying 2 grow sm hatred 4 her in u. U reaching out 2 her frequently is what u find comfortable doing, she might not on her own side, that doesn't mean she love or care 4 u less, but means u guys aren't same personality wise.

She's ur blood, don't trade her 4 anything please. U can still talk things out. Visit her as u used 2, in d course of ur gisting, bring up d case nd pour ur heart all out 2 her, let her know how u feel about d way u feel she's treating u, with that, u would be calm. U might even be surprise about her own submission on d issue.

Once again, keep being d sweet self u've always being. Had it be she is an outsider, I would av supported d notion of u distancing urself away 4rm her, but NO, she is ur blood, ur second half.

May God be with u both.

Hmmm.. deep. I'm speechless.

Ok. I've heard. But I'll wait and see if she calls, otherwise I'll just let her be.

Thank you so much.

Give her some space, maybe you can change state of residence for now. Since she is a family woman maybe it's time to be selfish a little bit and focus on your goals

Don't spend too much time in your neighbor's house. Otherwise, they'll get fed up with you and hate you. - the Bible said so not me.

Too much of everything is bad, from time to time, people need their space.

You like hearing what will make you appear unblemished, and of course, they will always tell you what you want to hear here on a matter like this. Unfortunately, that will not make you a better person going forward, offline, and in sharing closeness with anyone that means well for you but values their peace of mind. The fact remains that someone like you is among the most difficult kind of people to share closeness with. This does not make you an evil person, though, no. It has to do with your disposition and anima.

Sharing closeness with you entails one putting up their sixth sense and being readily alert with their defense mechanism all the time for the neutralization of the psychological stress - which in many cases lead to abuse - you do wittingly and unwittingly cause them. It is better imagined than to witness how draining she would have always been, unless she has always known her way around putting you in your place, which I believe her said action here is one of the ways she has devised, however unpalatable it seems - she can do better for the sake of the existing and everlasting bond. Your type of person is always best enjoyed in a scenario where you are doing quite well for yourself in all the areas of life that matter the most to you and the person(s) sharing closeness with you is someone you wittingly or unwittingly consider a part of yourself and is a humbly disciplined person, better if they are still trying to find their way around life.

The fact that you later agreed to pay for her transportation fare and other good things you asserted in this particular story that made you appear like the understanding one between the two of you do not change my posits above.

Okwu umu ejima

Your twin isn't fond of you,the way u are of her.

Give her space...

Sonnobax15:

To her,she may be seeing you as being too clingy......just like the commenter above me said,you aren't kids any more......And she has Probably have new friends,so, losing yours won't mean anything to her....But I still believe,the best and only way out for you is too reduce the attention you use to channel to her...In fact,try dey scarce small.....

Wetin your eyes no see,your mind no go reason about am

Mercychen, follow this advice. Absence makes the heart grow fonder so let her feel your absence by making yourself less available

RightToReject:
You like hearing what will make you appear unblemished, and of course, they will always tell you what you want to hear here on a matter like this. Unfortunately, that will not make you a better person going forward, offline, and in sharing closeness with anyone that means well for you but values their peace of mind. The fact remains that someone like you is among the most difficult kind of people to share closeness with. This does not make you an evil person, though, no. It has to do with your disposition and anima.

Sharing closeness with you entails one putting up their sixth sense and being readily alert with their defense mechanism all the time for the neutralization of the psychological stress - which in many cases lead to abuse - you do wittingly and unwittingly cause them. It is better imagined than to witness how draining she would have always been, unless she has always known her way around putting you in your place, which I believe her said action here is one of the ways she has devised, however unpalatable it seems - she can do better for the sake of the existing and everlasting bond. Your type of person is always best enjoyed in a scenario where you are doing quite well for yourself in all the areas of life that matter the most to you and the person(s) sharing closeness with you is someone you wittingly or unwittingly consider a part of yourself and is a humbly disciplined person, better if they are still trying to find their way around life.

The fact that you later agreed to pay for her transportation fare and other good things you asserted in this particular story that made you appear like the understanding one between the two of you do not change my posits above.

This guy can't you just write in a less convoluted manner?? Ahn ahn what is all these na