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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Are These Evidences Enough? (4270 Views)
My Uncle Is In A State Of Dilemma. / My Dilemma As A New Wife / Help? I'm In A Dilemma (2) (3) (4)
Are These Evidences Enough? by Baca2Wenger: 6:50pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Hello good enlightened people of nairaland family. Kindly take your time to read through and look away from errors and punctuations ' Kindly advise me on a mind bothering situation I've found myself .I've been married for 5years with two kids a boy and a girl and wife is older than me wit 3years. Recently i got to know my wife chat and calls guys seamlessly without stop to the extent some do admire her womanliness and stuffs and she always seems unpeturbed and flows with the rhythm at all times to the extent that my wife agreed to invite one of them to my house when i was not around in the name of visiting a old female colleague without putting me in the know or whatsoever...though it later never happened due to one reasonor the other ...maybe they met somewhere else i don't know... She used to have an ex that she was on the brink of visiting him due to misunderstanding we had at a time.In there conversation,she told the guy that i was out of the country since last year March,maybe to hasten there meeting or whatever i don't know.When i got to know this via her whatsapp n fb messenger chats even with several call logs. I warned the guy and my wife sternly about what i saw and promised to expose them because the guy is a popular face in broadcasting domain likewise my wife holds a managerial post in a popular insurance coy. However, recently i noticed several erotic chats with different men keeps getting much even though she never initiated any... but her effortless flows with them in response gives me goose bump not minding she's married with kids, that how manage will my wife be replying such talks. But i have not caught her red handed in adultery or in the act but emotionally she had in ways i know of. It's of no doubt my wife is beautiful likewise I'm an handsome dude and average big boy in Buharinomics and we are pretty doing fine .....it really baffles me as i can't be monitoring what an adult does with her life. The reason for my post is...i plan travelling out any time soon,but i want to go first and make ground clearance before they come over.I am of the opinion that i apply for visa alone without including she and my kids because i don't really trust her again because i believe with what I've seen in my presence what if I'm away?.... Another thing i noticed about my wife is that, in a working system like US..she can equally divorce me if she's more financially stable than now even though shes not doing bad at moment.. Also, i don't want to do anything that i will regret later because truly i love my wife and kids but the issue of what i've seen and know she's capable of doing brings weakness to my heart because I've discussed the issue with her diff times before but i don't want to talk about it again as she can go into default setting knowing i want to apply for visa for the family. The great affection i have for my kids is what is really disturbing my head because my hustle n all is majorly to see them grow in a working system... I wish to be advise on what to really do in this situation i am.. I am open to suggestion and advise from experienced and mostly married persons. **Cropped attached pix is a sparing hint out of many' P.S- if you don't have advise,just read and pass. Thanks Cc: lalasticlala front page ... 1 Share
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Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Nobody: 8:16pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
... 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Baca2Wenger: 8:33pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Carchoice:Thanks for the response. |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Ebubechuwku(m): 9:07pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Bro, it is well... I know you must be worried, yea, but you need to calm down, put your mind at rest, so that it won't affect you health wisely. Just do your normal thing, the truth will reveal itself in a short time. Care less about her attitude and face your own life and kids... Don't let her attitude wail you down and be watchful as in be ready to take your stand, in the sense that be a man that won't be controlled by sex... 1 Like |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by MufasaLion: 9:21pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Carchoice: You nailed it. The man has got trust issues now due to his wife's actions. I still don't support men taking woman out of this country, though. Leaving this country as a single man is the best. 10 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by MufasaLion: 9:24pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Ebubechuwku: He can't care less. That advise is wrong. How could you expect him not to care when it's obvious he loves her and he's planning on relocating the family to the U.S., a country with a structure and enough freedom for the female gender? 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Ebubechuwku(m): 9:29pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
MufasaLion: He should go alone at first, and take along his kids and wife later. Taking her wife later means he should be prepared for anything, that's 50:50 game. If it work out fine and if she later divorce her, fine, he should be prepared for it... And moreover, you can't fight the unseen. Care less in the sense that, its a double fate... and to afford health issues . |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by MufasaLion: 9:32pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Ebubechuwku: He can't take his kids with him before his wife. You don't know the nature of his job. |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Ebubechuwku(m): 9:33pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
MufasaLion: I said , he should take them together, and be prepared for the best and the worst.. |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by MufasaLion: 9:36pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Ebubechuwku: Damn! That's some risky shit. I'd rather divorce than take such woman abroad. Marriage ain't my thing. 5 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Ebubechuwku(m): 9:46pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
MufasaLion: Bro, he doesn't have any concrete evidence bro. Some people are just naturally flirt and social... for example, for me, no matter what a woman can do for me as a good wife material, you can't camp me, I love my freedom , I hate rules, routines and I also hate boring life of staying indoor after work. Since I know these, I know I can't marry an introvert cos we can't glue, I will only be giving her headache. So in situations like that, some people are just naturally flirt or want active social life and that doesn't mean they are not loyal. It's their nature. Since there is no concrete evidence, am thinking he should just calm down, so that he won't be the one to put fire on his house.. let him talk to God or any supreme being he believes in and be prepared for the worst incase things doesn't work out.. but irrespective he should do the Normal thing he ought to do as the husband.. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by MufasaLion: 9:49pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Ebubechuwku: Why should he talk to God? He should talk to his wife, not God. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Austeeenxx: 9:51pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Omo, This marriage thing. Una dey try o. 1 Like |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Ebubechuwku(m): 9:52pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
MufasaLion: And do you thing she will listen.... she can't... unless her action backfires on her... |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by MufasaLion: 9:55pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Ebubechuwku: If I were to be in such situation, I would never take her with me abroad. She's gonna do worse when she eventually get to the States. 3 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Ebubechuwku(m): 9:57pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
MufasaLion: As for me, I believe in supreme beings, I will pray and I will do consultations also... |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Nobody: 10:21pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Those chats are something else. She has no ounce of respect for you or your marriage if she's having such chats with other men. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Acidosis(m): 10:32pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Your wife is already cheating on you. That's the truth. 4 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Baca2Wenger: 10:43pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Acidosis:Hmmmm |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by royalpearl80: 10:46pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Acidosis: It's actually the bitter truth, only issue is not yet caught red handed 6 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Teleprompter(f): 10:48pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
The truth is before you. Your wife is not faithful to you and you can tolerate it because the foundation must have been this way from the onset. It is good that your children are important to you but notwithstanding, your marriage is not stable at all. All that you think she is capable of is a reality. 4 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Baca2Wenger: 10:51pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Teleprompter:what do you suggest i do as i can't really think straight at the moment. |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Magnoliaa(f): 11:00pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by CAPSLOCKED: 11:05pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
KIND SIR, YOUR WIFE WILL CHEAT ON YOU (IF SHE'S YET TO) AND THERE'S NOTHING IN THE WORLD THAT YOU CAN DO TO STOP THAT. 5 YEARS INTO MARRIAGE AND SHE FLIRTS WITH MULTIPLE MEN WHILE MAINTAINING A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER EX-LOVER. MAKE SURE YOUR KIDS ARE YOURS AND WATCH OUT FOR EVIDENCE SO YOU CAN TERMINATE THINGS AND FACE YOUR LIFE AND YOUR FAMILY. BECAUSE IT'S CLEAR THAT THIS TRAITOR WILL SURELY "TRAIT" AND YOU'LL BE DOING YOURSELF A HUGE DISSERVICE BY LETTING HER NATURE AND TENDENCY TO MISBEHAVE LIKE THE "COMMUNITY WOMAN" THAT SHE IS TO DISTRACT YOU AND MAKE YOU LOSE SLEEP. DO NOT EXPECT LOYALTY FROM PEOPLE. YOU DIDN'T BUY YOUR WIFE FROM THE MARKET LIKE A PILLOW. SHE'S A HUMAN CAPABLE OF MAKING DECISIONS FOR HERSELF EVEN AT THE DETRIMENT OF HER MARRIAGE AND LIFE, SO CHEATING AND MESSING UP YOUR FEELINGS IS ONE OF THE THINGS SHE'S CAPABLE OF NO MATTER WHAT YOUR SACRIFICES ARE. IF YOU KNEW HOW MANY MARRIED WOMEN CHEAT ON A DAILY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE CREATED THIS THREAD. BUT SINCE WE'RE ALREADY HERE, PREPARE TO NURSE YOUR WOUNDS BECAUSE THE DAMAGES HAVE BEEN DONE. YOU'RE JUST YET TO REALIZE ANYTHING. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by royalpearl80: 11:12pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
royalpearl80: @Barca2Wenger, the reality is actually staring at you right in front of you.....There are certainly some options in front of you based on how strong emotionally you are One is to talk to your wife and discuss this issue with her since you still love her, bare out all your mind on how you feel and what her reaction would have been if the table turn around. The truth is that you should be ready for denial and she becoming more careful going forward with her chats and all thereby you will not see any traces again. Secondly you can decide to ignore like nothing happened, focus your energy on the kids and pay less attention to the chats for now pending when you will get the hard fact. Continue to play your role as the hubby while also processing your traveling for now. Thirdly, it's a dicey situation and practically impossible to say after traveling you want to take only the kids alone and leave their mother here. You rather face the reality of taking your wife and the kids then face the consequence of whatever happened afterwards or leave all of them here in naija. Except you want a divorce which is not advisable. Fourthly, based on the present situation, leaving her all alone here while you travel abroad is also a bit of dilemma too cos as you said, you don't know what will happen. This bring me to earlier assertion that based on how emotionally strong you are, if possible for you to ignore and accept the reality of anything happening. Would love to talk to you more & share experience with you. The other advise I can give you this particular moment is that you should make your peace of mind paramount. I sent you a PM tho 2 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Baca2Wenger: 11:14pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Magnoliaa:what makes you think this is fiction? Is it until i post my pictures for people like you to believe? Besides how much can Seun pay me as an A.M in a first generation bank or can't you see i created this account solely for this purpose as i have a known moniker on nairaland. . Haba""" 3 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Baca2Wenger: 11:18pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
royalpearl80:Thanks and gracias for this piece |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by JovialJune(f): 11:27pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Since you obviously want to leave her here when you travel to U.S, be rest assured that she will cheat on you, just as you will also cheat on her over there, so in other for you both to not deceive each other with faithfulness, just divorce her, simple. 6 Likes |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Baca2Wenger: 11:34pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
JovialJune:The emphatic and precise opinion of you saying I'll cheat over there amazes me though....anyways thanks for your advise regardless. 1 Like |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Baca2Wenger: 11:36pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
royalpearl80:i already replied your mail |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by Mariangeles(f): 11:43pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Baca2Wenger: Have you ever confronted her about your findings? |
Re: Are These Evidences Enough? by JovialJune(f): 11:44pm On Dec 17, 2021 |
Baca2Wenger: My opinion is precise and emphatic because you very well know you will not stay forever celibate in U.S without having sex, so expecting her to stay forever celibate in naija when it's impossible for both of you is pure deceit, coupled with the fact that you don't trust her now talk more of yourself, so why not divorce each other to avoid stories that touch ![]() 4 Likes |
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