Getting hitched before 25 had always been my fairy tale dream right from when I was young and addicted to Disney princesses and their Prince charming plots. It came earlier than I thought and I got married to the love of my life when I was 21 and he was 24. My name is Ajoke, I and Nifemi started dating few months after I clocked 17.

I got to meet him through a church friend during my second year in the university. We started getting really close and finally decided to give the dating scene a try after a year. We were both young and naïve but we loved each other deeply and dated for almost 4 years before walking down the aisle.

When I told people I was getting married to him, their first reaction was always “Why are you getting married now, don’t you think you are too young?”, “Are you pregnant? Is that why you are rushing?” These and many more are the questions that graced people’s lips. Even my friends thought it was a prank until we started sending out IVs and preparation got serious and our parents were supportive throughout.

The D-day came, we had the registry and traditional ceremony in one day and everyone commented on how the glamorous the wedding was. We moved in together and it was all smooth for some months until reality set in.

As a young couple and fresh graduates, none of us had a stable job at the time. We lived on freelancing and contracts. I had a small and growing ready to wear clothesline while he was into freelancing and we both worked from home. Nifemi happens to be tech savvy, always engrossed in his laptop or tablet. Although I knew this while we were dating but I thought he would slow down on it when I entered his life fully. If he is not writing codes, he’s playing games or reading comics.

As a fashion entrepreneur, I basically run my business on the internet and only leaves the house when I need to see my designer or run household errands so I had a lot of free time. I thought it would be the same with my husband since he works from home too but little did I know that I was wrong.

Nifemi got a contract offer from a renowned tech company and he had the option of working remotely or joining them at the office. We both decided that he should appear physically at the office so he won’t be distracted in the home.

He resumed work and things were running smoothly, we had a stable income coming from him and I started planning towards having a baby. After some weeks, he was designated to develop an app that would generate millions of naira for the company, if it works he gets a permanent offer. Behold, this triggered a chain of events leading to this cry for help.

At first, he started bringing work home and would not sleep until about 4am, I complained about it and he said it was because of the project. We reached an agreement that he would join me in bed by 2am. This went on for a while until he arrived home from work around 11pm for three consecutive days. I did not say anything for a while, thought it was traffic but it kept pricking my mind until I confronted him. He got angry, we exchanged words but he later apologized and put the blame on the stress from work and the fact that the app he was working on is not showing a greenlight. I also apologized for nagging and decided not to complain anymore.

However, I am dying inside, my husband no longer notice me nor spend his weekends at home, always at work and even if he’s around he sleeps really late. We don’t do things together as a couple anymore, even to pray together early in the morning is difficult as he would have left the house before I wake up. I need his attention and crave for his touch but I don’t know what to do again without coming off as a nagging wife. Please help me!


https://www.naijalogic.com/forums/my-dilemma-as-a-new-wife

This is a blog post, how do we ask questions na?

Ma'am, first of all marital congratulations to you. I don't know how to advice you. Our marital counselor StacyO will do the needed justice

It is well,

Nifemi is my type of person so Lala push to front page, let me come back to read comments for me to gain more knowledge and see things from another perspective.

Sorry dear you're not the only one having this issue. Most marriages also experienced this, mine included but me I always piety my man because he will continue working with little or no sleep.

Just be patient with him. Whenever he get home give him good food and try to comfort him. Please stop the nagging, it won't help the situation, it will only worsened the whole thing as the young man is stressed up already with office work. And morealso nagging is not healthy for both of you.

Point of notice...the spark never remains in love or in marriage. It is left to you to spice it up through mind games or sexual escapades.

Your husband is not the only one guilty of not noticing what he should notice...you are too!
Don't tell me you have not noticed other men who are noticing you.

Notice them back, flirt with some of them...get distracted by the attention they give you and if you have the heart for it; spread your legs for a few but please don't bring home a bastard baby.

Your husband will definitely notice your lack of clinginess and he will begin to cling to you out of fear that he may be losing you because like Usher rightly said; "you never miss a good thing till it leaves you".

NwaAmaikpe:




Point of notice...the spark never remains in love or in marriage. It is left to you to spice it up through mind games or sexual escapades.

Your husband is not the only one guilty of not noticing what he should notice...you are too!
Don't tell me you have not noticed other men who are noticing you.

Notice them back, flirt with some of them...get distracted by the attention they give you and if you have the heart for it; spread your legs for a few but please don't bring home a bastard baby.

Your husband will definitely notice your lack of clinginess and he will begin to cling to you out of fear that he may be losing you because like Usher rightly said; "you never miss a good thing till it leaves you".

Bad advice.

Act like he doesn't exist too....


You get too clingy, you'd just make the relationship so tiring

Maybe he don begin chop banku outside...

He has erectile dysfunction.

wahala no dey finish true true....
21, ..? when you take do girl?

He has erectile dysfunction.

What can we say now??..when a man is a hustler, trying to make ends meet, una complain. If the man is a lazy ass that always sit @ home,and give you endless banging, una still complain. Wetin una want gangan sef?

I will say something leta..,

just endure..pele

He has projects at hand
is that too much to understand?

You don't need help, you need patience and understanding.

If he's not working now, you will be complaining of his joblessness.
Now he's working now you're complaining of not giving you attention

Women and their small brain na wahala oh

Molahnelson:
If he's not working now, you will be complaining of his joblessness.
Now he's working now you're complaining of not giving you attention

Women and their small brain na wahala oh

You wey get brain, wetin you don take am achieve?
Wetin even dey give some of una mind to think say all of una get sense? Dey yarn rubbish!
OK. As you take generalize with that your mumu comment, for your mind now, you believe say you get sense? Talk true o

madam wifey, pls understand the huge project your hardworking hubby is working on & offer prayers for it to be successful..don’t nag him into failure because that might cause more problems between you two ....

His job is taking a toll on him. Give him time to adjust. He will find time for you one day

mariahAngel:


You wey get brain, wetin you don take am achieve?
Wetin even dey give some of una mind to think say all of una get sense? Dey yarn rubbish!
OK. As you take generalize with that your mumu comment, for your mind now, you believe say you get sense? Talk true o

Come what's your problem can't you make your comments and pass

Please be guided

NwaAmaikpe:




Point of notice...the spark never remains in love or in marriage. It is left to you to spice it up through mind games or sexual escapades.

Your husband is not the only one guilty of not noticing what he should notice...you are too!
Don't tell me you have not noticed other men who are noticing you.

Notice them back, flirt with some of them...get distracted by the attention they give you and if you have the heart for it; spread your legs for a few but please don't bring home a bastard baby.

Your husband will definitely notice your lack of clinginess and he will begin to cling to you out of fear that he may be losing you because like Usher rightly said; "you never miss a good thing till it leaves you".

5 star Bad advise.

Confused woman. Somebody working on a mobile app, you think is easy.

In my own terms, marriage is all about sacrifice.....if only both parties involved,understands...

Give him time my Dear.

Tech jobs are mostly time consuming especially during the lockdown that most tech companies don't know that the closing time is 4pm, they took the privilege that you're working from home and be scheduling some time consuming meetings.

Just understand and pray for him.

Love dies in the absence of money

NwaAmaikpe:




Point of notice...the spark never remains in love or in marriage. It is left to you to spice it up through mind games or sexual escapades.

Your husband is not the only one guilty of not noticing what he should notice...you are too!
Don't tell me you have not noticed other men who are noticing you.

Notice them back, flirt with some of them...get distracted by the attention they give you and if you have the heart for it; spread your legs for a few but please don't bring home a bastard baby.

Your husband will definitely notice your lack of clinginess and he will begin to cling to you out of fear that he may be losing you because like Usher rightly said; "you never miss a good thing till it leaves you".

I don’t know why they’ve not banned you permanently!

Women! Always confused. The guy stay for house, you say e too stay for house. He comot go hustle, you say he no dey stay for house again. Na wa o

Be patient, try romantic moves on him. Give him poems at work via WhatsApp, design lovely pic of him and send to him. Tell him how much you love him.

Pray for him, venture into what he loves and be delibrate about them. Play games with him, ask him of those books he has read and try to summarize some of those stories with you. Read those books with him as well.

As an entrepreneur you claimed to be, design classes, if it is 30 min to one hour everyday to learn things from the computer with him. It will go a long way in getting to his heart.

Finally, you haven't told us his complaints about you, I mean the wrong things you do and your excesses.

Caveat.. That's the life of programmers... I'm sorry I can't explain why but when there's a project on ground it sort of becomes more important than anything else, me ex smashed my laptop in 2014 for the same reason... I haven't been in a relationship in years cos I don't trust myself to give that much time while I'm working on the things I'm working on now..
Advise : know what he's working on and try discussing his work with him.. For me that's the only thing that gets me talking.. From there you can digress into something else. Real men love a woman who can discuss his work.. We need someone to rant to about work.. If you can't be that person then you failed already, we're not ranting about work so you fix the challenge.. We just cool off tat way and most importantly we just need that reassuring voice saying "Don't worry everything will be alright, keep trying you'll get it soon"..

Hmmm