Mariangeles:


No dey talk wetin you no know. If you no understand, ask!

Wetin you think say omugwo be for? Vacation?
You think say na about food, and toys, and echetara'm na echetara'm?

Omugwo for Igbo land na to help woman wey just born pikin.

To help her with herself and the baby, until she's strong enough to handle things herself.

My friend shut up, i thought you would make some sense.. The curse of Africa is suspension of reason for stewpid custom and tradition..

Nothing wrong in going to help your daughter inlaw, prior to birth, during birth and after.. But not from the slavish mental state you see it, The guy above posted he had various sisters... In these covid economy, in the name of worshiping customer and tradition, you'd be traveling up and down? Imagine if the daughters are up north.. You risk your life going from one bokoharam territory to another?.. People will travel from lagos to kano in the name of attending wedding to only eat rice, they may not even be in good terms with the couple etc, but their beig faithful to custom and traditional practices, some even get accidents etc, Africans why?

With all your useless custom and traditions, Africa is the most backwards continent, am sure you haven't even lived under 24 hrs of light in your life, in this year 2021,the people that don't have custom and traditions have bern to the moon and back, their next trip is mars.. Your here talking nonsense.. Anyways buhari is your leader, we thought he was from sudan, but hes from you and your of him

DjBigMoni:
No other reason, she even had to threaten my life again after my mum incident, wanted to pure me hot water in the presence of her mum all because I said I'll still deal with her after all the pleading. she still begged for forgiveness that night

" deal with her " ? The language some of you men even use on your wives Is embarrassing ! Is she your housemaid I can just imagine what you and your mother put the poor woman through - for her to turn mad like that .

I don't have anything to say

michlins:
in Igbo land and tradition, it's the exclusive rights of your mother in-law or whoever your wife choose

Hmmm... are we truly ready for a change? Man knack him wife and they conceive and expect someone else to leave her family to come tend to them and their newborn compulsorily. I am not against it but it should be known that it should be seen as a privilege and not a right.

DjBigMoni:
Thank God for safe delivery, even though it was CS everything went successful.

So my mum came around for Omugwo first and ever since my wife had been having issues with her. it got to the extent my wife pulled a knife on my mum and I, she even fought my mum before she left.

So her mum now came around for Omugwo also and I have not been giving her face even despite she has apologised with my wife also and even her Dad. But I'm still finding it difficult to forgive her don't know why.

Op forgive her. she is your wife, and don't act funny to ur mother inlaw all because of what ur wife did to u and ur mother. show some maturity by letting go of the past. don't reciprocate, always have a forgiving heart towards ur wife by compromising. no marriage is perfect. May God bless ur union.

Justkatty:
What are you saying? He should aswell chase his mother inlaw? Two wrongs can't make a right, She has said sorry..so I don't see any reason for dragging same issue.

Anybody that pulls a knife on my mum would instantly become my archenemy, and i will never forgive that person in these life or the next

Kobojunkie:
It ought not to be a tradition/custom though.

How many married men would, after having to be directly involved, and in charge of caring for wife and child- we are talking being hands own here I.e. changing diapers, feeding, bathing, massaging the mother, waking up at night to feed and change baby or sing said baby to sleep - this during the first 6 to 9 months after birth, opt for several more of that experience?

Some men would say no more kids after 1 or 2. Your Omugwos while helpful to some, serves as a serious impediment and ought to seize as a tradition.

You're an incredibly insensitive and stupid woman. I believe this is some crap woke agenda you have going on here.
So a man should handle the economic affairs of the house and still take out the time to attend to domestic issues when there are willing and ready hands who can adequately dispatch those duties.
What's wrong with a MIL coming to help out? She is experienced and has a vested interest in the welfare of both nursing mother and child. Why don't you lay out your contributions and allow more sensible people to state theirs?
Why are some people so dumb?

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu dey urge to go abroad for omugwo.

You are obviously low grade and your family lacks love and peace.

Your grandparents who did omugwo must be paupers by your shallow analysis.

There is nothing wrong with omugwo, it is not mandatory, besides, anybody can do omugwo for you, neighbors, husbands, caregiver or nanny can do omugwo.

Stop fighting with yourself, you lack love

slimjohn2k5:
The best person to come for omugwo is from wife's family unless they are not available.

Moreover, do not take it against her as the person above me have told you she may be suffering from
postpartum depression.

Despite that please let her own people come first

But the depression didn't make her fight or point knife at her own mother? The woman has terrible attitude, don't blame any depression. Besides, in some places, the husband's mother is the first to come and stay for a few days before the wife's mother comes for full time omugwo. They say it's because the wife's mother will need the few days to put together things needed for the omugwo and the baby has to be taken care of by an experienced mother for those first few days.

Mariangeles:
Have you considered the fact that your wife might be going or might've gone through postpartum depression, which might've led to that behaviour?

Were she and your mum having problems before your wife got pregnant and had a baby?

N.B. Postpartum depression is not an excuse for bad behaviour, it is real.

Postpartum that didn't affect her own mum but only his mum?

Seems selective amnesia

Postpartum depression is real though

There is no excuse for pulling a knife on my mother.

I’d want nothing to do with such a wife.

I’m even pissed just imagining it.

SKhanmi:
Pulled a knife on your mum & threatened you with hot water? Wow. Depression my ass. My own is, listen to your instincts. So you don't become another statistic in the future.

If you like listen to those female monickers, none of them would take such from their son's wives.

why do a lot of you insist on remaining ignorant? Postpartum depression Is a disease and it can happen to any woman. Although I understand the hate many of you have for women will not let you pass on an opportunity to let out some venom.

Oga kindly leave all those ur English and face the fact.why can't she hv the postpartum depression since her own mother has come.

Mariangeles:
Have you considered the fact that your wife might be going or might've gone through postpartum depression, which might've led to that behaviour?

Were she and your mum having problems before your wife got pregnant and had a baby?

N.B. Postpartum depression is not an excuse for bad behaviour, it is real.

if any lady do that to my mom, I mean go physical to the woman that drove me to earth, I swear she's leaving my house after nursing or the baby. what rubbish

I stay with my elder brother and his wife gave birth last 2 years,my mum came because her mum had already come for the first child,the way my brother's wife treated my mum,I haven't forgiven myself for not standing for my mum because then I was in school and any beef with my brother's wife,he could convince my elder brother to stop paying my school fees.Her mum came last year and everyone was happy with her including me,now,I hate my brother's wife with passion but she doesn't no.Am now a graduate waiting for the right time to deal with her for making my mom look like a stranger in her son's house

slimjohn2k5:
The best person to come for omugwo is from wife's family unless they are not available.

Moreover, do not take it against her as the person above me have told you she may be suffering from
postpartum depression.

Despite that please let her own people come first

I don't care what anyone is suffering from fighting my mum is a no no ooh. For me na that day the marriage go end. I won't divorce you neither will I ask you to leave but na audio husband I go become.

Why are people without manners? I told my girl friend the day I catch you fight anybody or exchange insults with anyone (unless you are defending your life or protecting yourself from bodily harm) na that day we go share our garri.

What kind of crude behaviour is that, I can't imagine my children being raised by a woman that can exchange blows with their grandparents, what values is she going to imbibe in our children?

Some of you men and your half-baked stories. What happened prior to the fight? What your wife did is bad, but you can’t bite someone and then start dictating how they should react.
From your wife’s actions, at that moment she was at a point of whatever wants to happen let it happen. If the marriage scatters, so be it.

From experience, so many men use their wives and children to play politics. They will insist that it is their own person coming for Omugwo and then this person comes, and holds a sleeping baby 24/7, watching the wife slave away and dictating what they want to eat. That is how one came to a new mother’s house and promptly moved into the matrimonial bedroom, with the consent of the man.
A woman’s mum will never watch on and allow her child to be so stressed. She will definitely help.

Such men will even gang up against their wives, or be looking on like limp vegetable while the wife is being oppressed. They don’t want to offend their mothers and sisters, but they don’t give a damn about how their wife feels while being oppressed.

When the new mum is then pushed to the wall, she will react of course.

Pataricatering:
why do a lot of you insist on remaining ignorant? Postpartum depression Is a disease and it can happen to any woman. Although I understand the hate many of you have for women will not let you pass on an opportunity to let out some venom.

But it conveniently didn’t reoccur when her own came? It only comes out when he and his mom are there, right?

Nonsense. Dishonest people will hide under any excuse, anyway.

That wife had always wanted an opportunity to attack his mother. She’s lucky he’s not a violent person.

You go marry big yansh, not knowing say madness dey her family.

slimjohn2k5:
The best person to come for omugwo is from wife's family unless they are not available.

Moreover, do not take it against her as the person above me have told you she may be suffering from
postpartum depression.

Despite that please let her own people come first

You are right but, this plays out in South East & South South cultures but for Yorubas, the man's mum comes....Op may be Yoruba and would have felt his mum was supposed to come rather than his wife's mum...

I have seen such in which the S/S's wife's mum and the SW's husband's mum showed up almost at the sanetime( lol),.. Couples must come to prior agreement so it doesn't look as if one parent is unloved.

Op seems to be subtly fighting for a place in his home for his mum thus, the continuous unforgiveness.

Woman just born, ask her which one she is comfortable with? Mind u her own mum may do more for her including helping with house chores without feeling somehow.
Only when her own mum or mum figure in her family is missing should a man bring his own mum especially considering the culture of the wife.

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality

There is absolutely nothing wrong with omugwo. It is culture, it is tradition. The woman's mother goes to help the young first time mother to nurse her child, and assist with chores while she recuperates from pregnancy and child birth. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

If for some reasons your mother did not have the time for it, that is perfectly understandable. Some mothers may have careers and occupation that would not allow for such. But it doesn't make the culture to be rubbish. There is absolutely nothing wrong with omogwo. Nobody forces it on anyone, there is no punishment for not doing it. It is not 'useless mentality' to keep certain beneficial customs and traditions. Rather it is inferiority complex to think that the white man's way is always better.

michlins:
First thing first,why should your mom come for omogwu?


Isn't that the exclusive rights of your mother in-law or whoever your wife choose?

Husbands mom do come briefly too. But it is usually the wife's mom that will stay longer do majority of the jobs required of a MIL in Omugwo.

I see some men on the first page downgrading the importance of omogwu. SMH. One was asking why the husband wouldn't fill in the space. As in...the man will be working to bring food home for wife and baby, yet have the time to be at home and do the omugwo job? Some people just spew weak stuffs here to get likes from women.

Nonsense

aameyah:
Some of you men and your half-baked stories. What happened prior to the fight? What your wife did is bad, but you can’t bite someone and then start dictating how they should react.
From your wife’s actions, at that moment she was at a point of whatever wants to happen let it happen. If the marriage scatters, so be it.

From experience, so many men use their wives and children to play politics. They will insist that it is their own person coming for Omugwo and then this person comes, and holds a sleeping baby 24/7, watching the wife slave away and dictating what they want to eat. That is how one came to a new mother’s house and promptly moved into the matrimonial bedroom, with the consent of the man.
A woman’s mum will never watch on and allow her child to be so stressed. She will definitely help.

Such men will even gang up against their wives, or be looking on like limp vegetable while the wife is being oppressed. They don’t want to offend their mothers and sisters, but they don’t give a damn about how their wife feels while being oppressed.

When the new mum is then pushed to the wall, she will react of course.

"... whatever what to happen let it happen..." I will be surprised if that was the first time she got into a fight with people. I don't know why can't men of this generation do background extensive search on before getting married.

Most people are ill-mannered and lack self restraints.

I bet you sooner or later the op will come online to narrate how he got into physical confrontation with the wife.

DjBigMoni:
Thank God for safe delivery, even though it was CS everything went successful.

So my mum came around for Omugwo first and ever since my wife had been having issues with her. it got to the extent my wife pulled a knife on my mum and I, she even fought my mum before she left.

So her mum now came around for Omugwo also and I have not been giving her face even despite she has apologised with my wife also and even her Dad. But I'm still finding it difficult to forgive her don't know why.

Except she has been contentious with your mother long before now, you are a very stupid fellow for behaving like an idiot to her mother. You do know...or not, that women experience post partum depression

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality

My friend you lack foresight.