What a tragedy,so it's Africa custom so it must b useless and poor as well - wow. And this post gathered 100+ likes what a disaster. this slave mentality has to die pls.
Whatever,somtin is wrong with your wife - pulling a knife? Is this new or somtin that occur every now and then?anyway it's wife' mom that shud av come in the first place dats how I understand it. To avoid all this stories that touch.

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality. It's is devised to attempt control the husband.

Oyiboman69:
1.her place is to report her attitude to the son not displaying her perpetual madness... and as for you,,
2. it is either you don't know women or you're just trying to apply unwarranted diplomacy in your judgement....

1. Her place? Whose place? According to what Law/ruie book?

2. I am surrounded by women in my daily life, and I freely interact to learn and grow, so I know them better than the average nutter who believes them a treat to be controlled and avoided.

Oga come tell us what the argument was about.. This did not degenerate into physical confrontation for no reason.

DjBigMoni:
Thank God for safe delivery, even though it was CS everything went successful.

So my mum came around for Omugwo first and ever since my wife had been having issues with her. it got to the extent my wife pulled a knife on my mum and I, she even fought my mum before she left.

So her mum now came around for Omugwo also and I have not been giving her face even despite she has apologised with my wife also and even her Dad. But I'm still finding it difficult to forgive her don't know why.

Lol some wife can be very funny like wth is that,raising a knife on your mother inlaw is a no no,dont come here nd tell me he suffering from one depression or the other that shit to me....let her do that to her own mother na

OP since she apologised just forgive her,but warn her never to try such anymore.

Am yet to see a man raising his voice, or even to the extent of rasing a knife on his mother inlaw.

I cant condone such never,they want you to cherish thiers but when it comes to yours they act like idiots that's witchcraft.

jaxxy:
1. So u will accept ur own mum isn’t welcomed in ur house because of ur wife?? Who draws a knife on her mother in-law??

Or that’s perfectly normal behavior to u?

1. We don't know the details of what prompted this woman to pick up a knife to begin with. Only the Op can tell us that. Did his mother maybe threaten to take the wife's baby away? Who knows?

2. You weigh every behavior against that which prompted it. That is the sane approach to judging them.

Kobojunkie:
1. The husband doesn't need to stop working in order to help nurse his wife and baby back to health. In most cases, all he needs do is help feed and care for the baby, help prepare the wife and baby for the day - bath them, prepare food, and make them comfortable before he leaves for work and repeat after work. Millions of husbands/men across the world do this every day, so I see no reason why the Nigerian man should claim exceptions for himself.

2. The tradition is wrong and needs to be revised. It diminishes the man's experience as a 'helper' in his own marriage.

3. Wrong! A marriage is an agreement between a man and woman...no third-parties are included in the contract. The moms ought to stay in their own marriages instead.

Are you surprised that when you suggested that men should be more involved with taking care of their kids the average nairaland man being a reflection of some Nigerian men believe that helping their wives with their kids translates to them not working anymore.

These men are shallow and it is painful to see.

[s]

77up:
Postpartum kee you dia

Op, I don't know why women hate to see mother in law and it's funny knowing fully well that they will also become one later.


Similar case is happening around me currently, that wife hates her mother inlaw with passion even though the woman have turned herself to a low budget house maid just to please the wife.


I support the first comment , don't allow her mum too, tell her to leave

[/s]
.

DjBigMoni:
Thank God for safe delivery, even though it was CS everything went successful.

So my mum came around for Omugwo first and ever since my wife had been having issues with her. it got to the extent my wife pulled a knife on my mum and I, she even fought my mum before she left.

So her mum now came around for Omugwo also and I have not been giving her face even despite she has apologised with my wife also and even her Dad. But I'm still finding it difficult to forgive her don't know why.

What led to the altercation? Give us a full picture instead of just telling us the result.

DjBigMoni:
Thank God for safe delivery, even though it was CS everything went successful.

So my mum came around for Omugwo first and ever since my wife had been having issues with her. it got to the extent my wife pulled a knife on my mum and I, she even fought my mum before she left.

So her mum now came around for Omugwo also and I have not been giving her face even despite she has apologised with my wife also and even her Dad. But I'm still finding it difficult to forgive her don't know why.

Did you call both parties to find out what actually happened? There must be a reason she acted like that and you must find out. Im not justifying that shit oh. Thats pure violence. Secondly maybe people will start believing in post partum depression. Since you said she just gave birth. Is she experiencing some kind pressure, stress etc. Oga instead of running here to complain, fix your house jare. Get to work and be her number one support system. Wash cloth, change diaper, wake up at night to take care of baby and relieve here as much as you can.

GenBuhari:

OP you have already said somewhere on the thread that your wife has a hot temper, so all those trying to excuse her actions as being possibly caused by depression, should realise that depression may cause a woman to behave out of the ordinary if under extreme stress, but I doubt it could change a woman's character.
A calm gentle woman is unlikely to become abusive or violent , Your wife violent actions occurred because it was already in her character and this matter is extremely serious.
On many levels this is a red flag that cannot be ignored and must be addressed.
First and foremost, start by according your mother-in-law the respect she deserves, to demonstrate that you own parent taught you how to behave.
Her behaviour shows she is capable of attempting to murder not only you, but your mother and by extension members of your family.
It also indicates she doesn't.
She is also showing she negligent of her own health to be fighting whilst healing from a major operation, meaning in that moment her anger is such that she wasn't valuing her own life.
This means if she cannot see much value in her life how can she see value in another person's life hence her ability to attempt to murder someone in that moment of rage.
Even your baby child's life can be taken by during such periods or anger.
That is why I say her actions cannot be ignored.
She cannot be left alone especially with the baby because her actions have passed depression and have enter psychotic.
Arrange additional helper(s)of her choice to assist her and move out of the house or a week or more to calm down. It may show how serious what she done was.

You have said it all

AmazonTopaz:
Are you surprised that when you suggested that men should be more involved with taking care of their kids the average nairaland man being a reflection of some Nigerian men believe that helping their wives with their kids translates to them not working anymore.

These men are shallow and it is painful to see.

Nigeria issue dey knock wind out of person for real - it's seriously painful.

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality. It's is devised to attempt control the husband.

To you na nonsense.
No dey bring people tradition down because of ur 10kobo understanding of it, funny enough someone else would help ur sis bath her first child over there and help her run errands as not to leave the baby unattended too, unless she have a first hand experience with it, that is what omugwo is about and it has happened indirectly from a neighbor. It's okay to say your mum no get time to go, that her research too na nonsense in some persons view as to them it does not help her or humanity ( abi she wan discover the next big thing), but it means a lot to her, that's how that omugwo means a lot to others.
Some traditions are older than you and your ancestors, learn to respect them.

Justkatty:
That wasn't nice of her her, irrespective of what could have happened, she wouldn't have resulted in carrying knife or having a physical fight with her mother inlaw.....She for get mind carry knife for her own mama?
Anyways since she has apologise, please forgive her but a Stern warning should be given.

God abeg give me mother inlaw wey go take me as her daughter and I promise to cherish her.
The way my mama born me naso she too born the person I call my crown.
Desist from violence it doesn't pay.

mothers are humans also.
soo yh they can make life unbearable for other humans

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality. It's is devised to attempt control the husband.

Don't condemn other tribe's culture if you dont know what it it entails.

Sometimes it is more sensible to keep quiet.

MummyD2020:

Did you call both parties to find out what actually happened? There must be a reason she acted like that and you must find out. Im not justifying that shit oh. Thats pure violence. Secondly maybe people will start believing in post partum depression. Since you said she just gave birth. Is she experiencing some kind pressure, stress etc. Oga instead of running here to complain, fix your house jare. Get to work and be her number one support system. Wash cloth, change diaper, wake up at night to take care of baby and relieve here as much as you can.

A reason to pull out knife on one's mum?

NOETHNICITY:
Well my mum is a perfect person. Since I grew up and became an adult I ve never seen my mum quarrel with anybody much unlike most women in the neighborhood where I grew up. Even if my mum wasn't perfect, I expect anyone around me (particularly my wife) to condole whatever behavior or act of indiscretion my mum may exhibit in the cause of her temporary stay with us. Any woman or anybody who hesitate to understand this is not fit be in my nucleus

#KNOWYOURMUM

Mariangeles:
Have you considered the fact that your wife might be going or might've gone through postpartum depression, which might've led to that behaviour?

Were she and your mum having problems before your wife got pregnant and had a baby?

N.B. Postpartum depression is not an excuse for bad behaviour, it is real.

I just wanted to attack u now, but then I saw your last paragraph... Lol

Midastorch:
God bless you my dear, everyone just want to be termed "woke" of Social media....Nothing is wrong with the African culture of a new mother getting help from people close to her to take care of her new born baby....The one that even claimed their famy has money is most stupid of them all....

There is something very wrong with that culture as it takes away from the experience meant to help a husband and wife bond in there marriage as a couple with a new child.

Men/husbands across the globe help nurse their wife and child to health every day, this while maintaining their jobs. I see no logical reason why Nigerian men should be sparred this experience.

Kobojunkie:
1. We don't know the details of what prompted this woman to pick up a knife to begin with. Only the Op can tell us that. Did his mother maybe threaten to take the wife's baby away? Who knows?

2. You weigh every behavior against that which prompted it. That is the sane approach to judging them.

Take the baby to where? u funny oo

When the mother in-law isn’t crazy.

If the mum tried to do anything crazy the op/son should/would have mentioned it. It’s obviously the usual power for control about ur sons house or my husbands house and other petty stuffs women get into.

jaxxy:
1. Take the baby to where? u funny oo When the mother in-law isn’t crazy.

2. If the mum tried to do anything crazy the op/son should/would have mentioned it. It’s obviously the usual power for control about ur sons house or my husbands house and other petty stuffs women get into.

1. You and I don't know this since OP did not reveal it. Just the other day, I read of a MIL and her son accusing a wife of serving them second-hand food, and subjecting her to serious beating, this because the food was not freshly cooked on the spot for the MIL.

2. Op has remained mum about what really happened to cause his wife to react in the way she did so there isn't much to be said of the case.

Ninisun:



Till then, respect is reciprocal.

My mum doesn't own me or anyone of my family (including my wife or any girl in my life, my friends and my siblings) any respect, WE ALL owe her that. Anybody who disrespect my mum NO MATTER the situation will be unforgivably booted out of my life. I think everyone around me, including my mum, understand this fact. So everyone get to organize themselves well when my mum is around. A man can have 10 wives, but he can only have 1 mum in a lifetime.

Pls forgive her next time ur mother shld not come first, allow someone from her family first. because she will b able to tell d person to help her with house chores without any meaNing being read to it. And by the time someone from ur end is coming she may not need Much attention and assistance again.
Also note that this stage is another phase of marriage. But for a woman who gave birth under d knife how will u allow her inlaw to come first? When they wont want to serve her instead they will say she is d wife & they will b expecting from her. Haba a woman with A big cut in her uterus and stomach

TOMMYS:


#KNOWYOURMUM

So am old-school, don't really get ya

When she is done ,, give her TP back to the village. You should use your mom as NOK for security purposes o. Women like that can never be trusted. Regardless of post partum stress. Be wise. Your children can take over NOK when they turn 18. Only God know wetin dem go do next make your family see money for autopsy.

Ninisun:



You can't be a good counselor, so he should dissolve his marriage because she fought with his mother? Try to create a room for reconciliation.

that should have been the statement you would have said instead of the postpartum statement you made up there, just to make her seemed right of her actions. I agree with the dialogue of a thing. And I'm a good counselor because I weigh from both side.......

Kobojunkie:
Her husband can and should adequately fill that post instead. After all, the baby was made by both of them in the marriage.

It ought to be the man caring for and helping nurse his wife back to health after the ordeal, unless circumstances don't allow for it - busy work schedule for example. Oyinbo husbands dey even take time off from work in order to care for wife and baby during such times. Rarely do you see them inviting a third partyover during those times and they take turns feeding baby during night shift and all.

Surely Nigeria husbands aren't shigidi that can't lift a finger to care their own wife and kid in similar situations naw!

You made sense until the last sentence. Remember, don't generalize when you have no data to back your claims.

Agreed. "Omugwo" is for jobless mother-in-laws.

Vickyvice:
my brother forget this omugwo yeye philosophy wey poor people invent. My sisters are married and given birth, but my mum no go. She just arrange baby accessories,,, clothes, toys, and their soaps, powder, foods and fill their kitchen with assorted foods, by waybill them abroad,. What's omugwo? Na low mentality slang. Like say we be low grade family, na so my mum go mumu leave her lecturing work wey she even dey look for more time to conclude research, dey urge to go abroad for omugwo, as if she's the first mother in law in d world, or na she be the first grandmum on earth, I hate to hear this useless term,,, omugwo. Africa and their useless mentality. It's is devised to attempt control the husband.

eyinjuege:


Your supplies probably mean little, unless they asked for it.
They didn't tell you they were starving or can't buy clothes for their newborn.
You're probably only cluttering their home with your supplies.
Even your in laws who visit will still bring all their own supplies too, so stop thinking they've gone to enjoy the 'supplies' your family provided.
Your mum is probably too busy to visit them to help with the new baby, which is absolutely fine but the new mother would likely have preferred the physical help she may provide. Food and baby things are definitely not their problems abroad.
They have cheaper & better quality baby clothes , shoes abroad. Nigeria doesn't make anything, so your mum is only sending back those things made abroad, back to the abroad.
The major problem many mothers (whether new or old) struggle with abroad is childcare. It's hard to get any help abroad with that, unless you're ready to pay major big bucks, which is more expensive than even bringing someone in from Nigeria to help you.

'Heaves a sigh of relief'. i was waiting for this type of reply. His posts is fiiled with ignorance and arrogance that i didnt want to say anything becos it might resort to name calling. Something that has existed before his mom was born e dey make noise. Supply kor, tissue ni

Ekpekus:

You made sense until the last sentence. Remember, don't generalize when you have no data to back your claims.

Are you insinuating that Nigerian husbands are shigidis?

Kobojunkie:
Are you insinuating that Nigerian husbands are shigidis?

The question is "are you saying Nigerian husbands don't help their wives during postpartum that omugwuo would be required?

What is the relationship between your mum and your wife? Maybe the situation was heightened with your mum coming for omugwo. Nevertheless, your wife should have controlled and conducted herself better.

Generally, the woman's mum should be the one to come for omugwo. E get why. It doesn't mean the husband's mum cannot be there too.

Blyzz:
that should have been the statement you would have said instead of the postpartum statement you made up there, just to make her seemed right of her actions. I agree with the dialogue of a thing. And I'm a good counselor because I weigh from both side.......

How can I write what I don't know or haven't experienced? PPD can even make a new mum to commit suicide, the nipples pain, inability to sleep at night and that of CS distabilize most mothers. Women need companions and love during the period.